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On a wave of excitement, I was even able to help Phil set me down, and then the station attendants helped us slide the chair down onto the platform, and we headed towards my parents, who were almost running in our direction. At that moment I suddenly became weak, my eyes went blank, and... I woke up from the artifact, but I had no strength at all. I probably would have dropped out of the chair if it didn’t have a folding back. When I saw Phil’s horrified eyes and Dad’s worried ones, I just sighed. I scared everyone again...
“How often is she like this?” Dad asked anxiously.
“The first time in a week,” my angel answered, stroking my head with a slightly trembling hand.
“Was it hard?” Mum asked, looking at him with concern.
“We pulled it off,” Phil sighed and would have fallen down if Dad hadn’t caught him.
I was so scared that my eyes went black, but Mum clapped me on the cheeks and told me not to dare. And I didn’t dare, but I was really scared. Phil came round quickly, and I burst into frantic tears. He fell to his knees in front of me and started hugging me. It turns out to be so horrible when a loved one passes out! It’s so scary! There’s nothing more horrible than that! Oh, my God, what did he feel when I ...
Somehow, we ended up in the car and were hugging each other in silence, we just stuck together, it was like they didn’t even try to pull us apart, my mum and dad understood me. That’s probably why they decided not to take me to the hospital, or maybe for some other reason. But I grabbed onto Phil to death, I was so scared inside.
The car drove quickly to our house, and we were both carefully taken out of the car. My mum was holding my angel, and my dad just took me in his arms and brought me into the house. My parents didn’t say a word, just glanced at each other. They laid me on the couch, and Phil sat next to me, routinely checking me with his hand, so my dad could see. We stayed there for a while, and then Mum stroked Philip’s head, who closed his tired eyes for a moment.
“How long have you been up?” Dad asked him.
“I’ve been asleep, I guess...” my angel answered uncertainly.
“He’s been guarding me day and night for three weeks,” I “ratted out” my beloved, and my mother shrieked in horror. My parents know what I’m like in spring...
Mum’s eyes were like an owl’s – big and round like I’d seen at the zoo, and she was covering her mouth with her hand, staring at Phil in astonishment, but he was just smiling like he always did. And then it turned out that my angel hadn’t slept for the last two nights because I wasn’t breathing properly. He was worried about me... God, he must have been so scared! If I were him, I’d probably die of fear. The chancellor made a wise decision to send us home: if Phil had fallen in Graswangtal, nothing could have saved me.
I was like a wimp – I couldn’t do anything, so we were both quickly dressed, although Phil struggled, of course, but nobody could argue with Mum. The electrodes were hooked up to me and I was put to bed. Dad stayed in the room, he was sitting and reading a book, and Phil kissed me, relaxed, and immediately fell asleep. It was as if a toggle switch had been flipped on and he was asleep. I put my head on his chest and fell asleep too. Then it turned out that we had slept for fourteen hours.
When I woke up, my angel’s eyes were not marshy from fatigue, but shining with the familiar blueness. He was smiling and looking at me, which made me want to smile, too. The weakness was gone as if it had disappeared, I was completely comfortable alongside my beloved, I was at home, and my dad was sitting on a chair and reading a book. So, nothing terrible could happen. I knew that for certain.
***
“OH, LORD,” FRAU BOCK exclaimed. “Three weeks just he and she... I can’t even imagine that!”
“In that state, she frequently requires a cardiac ICU,” retorted Herr Bock. “What the guy’s gone through is incredible.”
“They have neither cardio nor intensive care,” the woman sighed. “So, he had to...”
“Not sleep at night, not realize what’s going on,” the man gazed pitifully at the wall. “Not every cardiologist would recognize what’s going on. It’s a rare disease.”
“Yes, in her state she needs comfortable conditions and monitoring,” Frau Bock hugged her husband. “Not a school and even the most beloved, but twelve-year-old boy.”
“There is no other way so we will teach him,” said Herr Bock firmly.
***
I WAS WAKING UP SLOWLY, very slowly, as if I were wading out of the bottom of a deep river. I was floating out, and I couldn’t get out, I couldn’t get through the water to catch a breath of air. I couldn’t even call for help, it seemed that I was between dream and reality, I couldn’t feel my body at all, I was only trying to breathe. I felt like something was pushing down on my chest, blocking me from taking a breath. Panic swept over me, and I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t breathe. It was so scary, just impossible to describe exactly how. Suddenly I felt the chill, and it just kept getting worse and worse, like I was being plunged into a freezer.
And then I inhaled, and I couldn’t stop breathing; the air kept coming and coming, even, apparently, forced, helping me to inhale. The tension began to ease, and I breathed better and better, starting to feel my arms and legs, which were trembling for some reason. But my eyes remained closed, I just breathed, and it made me feel better. Through the rumble in my ears, I heard the voice I loved so much:
“That’s it, breathe, darling, breathe... Breathe, my darling.”
I breathed dutifully, the chill was gradually disappearing, but the trembling didn’t subside. I tried to open my eyes again, and I unexpectedly succeeded. My eyes flew open, and I saw Phil, he was pumping the ambu-bag, helping me to breathe. The panic in his eyes was slowly fading; something must have been wrong with me as he was so frightened.
At that very moment, I was about to tell him that I could do it on my own, but I only opened my mouth. I was filled with panic again – I couldn’t say a word, only tears were falling, and I couldn’t speak at all. I raised my shaking hands to show that I couldn’t speak, and that’s when Dad came running into the room.
“Phil, what’s wrong?” Dad asked in a calm, steady voice.
“Ss-stop, t-ten seconds,” my angel replied in a shaky voice. “But everything seems fine, except that she can’t speak.”
"Pump it for now, and we'll handle the conversation," Dad said, a glint of light in my eyes, followed by an "aha," and then he disappeared somewhere.
“Honey, don’t worry, it’s going to be okay,” Phil said, whose eyes no longer twinkled with terror. “Daddy will think of something, and you’ll be able to talk.”
I believed him because he’s my angel. If he says I can do it, then I need to calm down. Although that was easier said than done. The panic wouldn’t let up, there was no way I could get myself under control. Focusing on keeping control, I distracted myself from everything else and that helped. That’s when Dad gave me an injection into my vein.
“Well, everything’s all right, everything's all right, don’t cry,” he stroked me. “It’s all right now, do you see? You’re going to talk now, just be patient.”
“P...ff... il...” I managed to squeeze it out of me, it was so hard that I was tired at once, but it was already a victory.
“My love,” Phil looked at me sweetly, tears rolling down his cheeks. “It’s okay, my sweetheart... It’s already g-good.”
“Da... Phil...” I wanted to say that my angel was probably tired, but I couldn’t yet.
“Phil, release the ambu-bag,” said Dad, but Phil did not stop.
“I can’t, I’m afraid,” he looked guiltily at Dad.
“Let go, I’ll take over,” Dad was calm as a concrete wall, but it was very difficult for Phil, so Dad helped him. My angel’s hands were clearly trembling. He rushed to me but was hugging me so he wouldn’t get in the way.
In a few minutes, I was breathing on my own. I could breathe easily, and the plate on my chest vanished, but I was weak and couldn’t lift my arms, and I was soaked underneath that I didn’t feel it right away. But when I did, I was suddenly so ashamed that I must have blushed. Phil looked at me in surprise, but Dad understood straight away.
“In cardiac arrest, all the sphincters loosen up, so be glad you didn’t crap your pants,” Dad smiled at me, and then asked: “Should I wake Mum up or you’ll trust Phil since he’s already bathed you?
“Ahn... gel...” I said embarrassed, because he had really seen me all the way through and washed me, and Mum should get some sleep.
My no longer shivering angel smiled so warmly that I calmed down almost immediately, and then he dressed me in dry clothes and put me in the chair, making his way to the bed. He did it so quickly that I didn’t even have time to be embarrassed again. Phil then wheeled me to the bathroom, to the bidet, and helped me out. I realized I wasn’t embarrassed by him at all. It’s probably not the right thing to do, but I’m not embarrassed now. I mean, after all, he’s my angel.
***
“THE GUY DRAGGED HELIE out again, can you believe that?” Mr Bock was noticeably nervous. “Nearly passed out from fear himself, but he took her out.”
“Did it stop?” Frau Bock froze in horror.
“Yes, for ten seconds, quite clinical,” the man nodded. “I told him to leave the AMBU, and he said, “I can't, I’m afraid”. And his hands were shaking... Then he changed our daughter, I thought she would call you, but she....”
“What do you mean, changed her?” The woman didn’t understand.
“Her bladder relaxed,” smiled Mr Bock.” He changed her, and quickly as if that’s all right. The confidence they have in each other is tremendous. But for the night we need a different mode of oxygen supply. The princess is resting now.”
“How is he now?” Frau Bock asked.
“Well,” the man answered. “A light sedative for him, and they sleep like kittens.”
***
PHIL SAVED ME, SAVED me again. I knew what his words meant because I’d heard something like that many times before. My angel had told my dad that I was dead for ten whole seconds, that’s what it meant. For ten whole seconds, my heart had been standing still, but Phil brought me out, snatching me away from death. It didn’t matter so much what happened after that, because what was more significant was that he snatched me away from death, just like in that dream of mine.
“I love you,” I muttered, staring into those eyes that I loved so much.
“It’s impossible not to love you,” he said, hugging me. “Are we going to laze about or get up?”
“Laze about,” I replied, feeling weak from the night before.
“Feeling weak, right?” Phil asked me. “It’s all right, mum and Dad will come, and we’ll solve it.”
Perhaps he pressed some switch because Dad came into the room at that very moment. He carefully glanced at both of us, smiled amiably, squinted his eyes at the monitor, and sighed. And then my angel understood everything – my dad didn’t know how to tell me that it was better to stay in bed, because he was afraid of my tears.
“We decided to laze about today,” Philip informed my dad, who was pleased right away. “We are going to be naughty together, do you mind?”
“I don’t mind,” Dad answered him. “I’ll bring you something to eat, and then mum will sit with you while you’re watching TV.”
“Yeah!” I shouted, to show my relief at not having to move.
“Philip, will you lie down with Helie?” Dad asked, explaining: “You’re certainly very strong, but such stresses are hard on you too...”
“Sure, I will lie down with my beloved,” Phil answered firmly, and we all burst into laughter. It feels so good to be alive, I can’t tell you how!
I scared everyone to death today, I really did. After all, my angel is a child too, and his heart might go bad too. I just imagined that it happened, and immediately trembled, and Phil grabbed me with his hand and somehow very quickly calmed me down. I don’t know how he does it, but he does....
Then Mum arrived to feed us. She sat in front of Phil and Dad sat in front of me, and we were both being spoon-fed, not being allowed to do anything on our own. I was quite used to it, but my angel was embarrassed, but he seemed to like it. Today we were both bathed with tenderness, as if I wasn’t the only one who had died during the night. Phil was unwinding and calming down, I could see it. My parents are so great – they welcomed Phil as their own son, but why, I don’t know. I feel like my mum and dad understand far more than I do, but that’s probably a good thing.
No matter that my angel saved me, I still knew that nothing was over. So, no crying and brooding because I have no right to die now. And I shouldn’t scare my Phil either, so I decided to be obedient and try to do everything correctly. I ate without fussing at lunch, even though the weakness had already gone away, and my angel was allowed to eat on his own. At first, he was given normal food, but he asked for the same stuff I had.
“But it won’t be savory...,” Mummy wondered.
“How can the food that my beloved eats be unsavory?” He answered a question with a question, surprising mummy a lot.
“Phil always eats the same thing as me, only he salts it,” I “ratted out” my beloved. “Because... “
“Because he shares both life and death with you...” Daddy quoted someone obviously.
My parents gave Phil another respectful look, which embarrassed him because he thought it was the right thing to do. I was already used to the fact that the right thing to do was what my angel was saying. That’s how the day passed, but the memory of it remained with both of us for a long time, making us get closer to each other. I noticed later that we almost became soulmates, starting to understand each other much better. As if we could feel each other... Could it be true?