5

“These little bombs weigh in at 490 calories,” Kathleen Gray said.

I glanced at the paltry square.

“That number seems high,” I said.

“Trust me,” she said. “I used to work at the one in Charleston.”

It was 7:45 pm and we were in Starbucks on Third and East Sixty-Sixth. Neither of us had much of an appetite, but Kathleen said she always treated herself to a raspberry scone after spending time at the burn center. She took a bite.

“Yum,” she said. “Technically, it’s a raspberry apricot thumbprint scone.” She cocked her head and appraised me.

“You sure you don’t want to try one?”

I didn’t and told her so. “Plus there’s the other thing,” I said.

“What other thing?”

“The acronym for it is RATS,” I said.

She studied me a moment, a faint smile playing about her lips. I saw them move ever-so-slightly as she performed the mental calculation.

“You’re an odd duck,” she said. “You know that, right?”

I sipped my coffee and made a note of the fact that I had now met three of Ken Chapman’s women, and two of them had commented on my strangeness on successive days. The third of Chapman’s women was my ex-wife, Janet, and her opinion of me was beyond repair.

Someone pushed open the front door, and a rush of wind blew some rain in, lowering the temperature by ten degrees. Or so it seemed. Something behind us caught Kathleen’s eye and she giggled.

“The barista was talking to someone and pointing at you,” she said. “I think it has something to do with the venti.”

I frowned and shook my head in disgust. “Barista,” I said.

Kathleen giggled harder. She scrunched her face into a pout.

“You’re such a grump!” she said.

“Well, it’s ridiculous,” I said.

She broke into a bubbly laugh. I continued my rant.

“These trendy restaurants, they’re all so pretentious! Just yesterday I saw a guy nearly die from eating some kind of exotic Japanese dish. And here,” I gestured toward the coffee-making apparatus, “you have to learn a whole new friggin’ language in order to justify spending four bucks for a cup of Joe.”

She laughed harder. “Joe? Oh, my God, did you just say Joe? Tell me you just climbed out of a forties time machine.”

I think she liked saying the word “Joe,” because she said it two more times while laughing uncontrollably.

The other customers glanced at us, but I wasn’t finished yet.

“Grande,” I said. “Solo. Venti. Doppio. What the hell is doppio, anyway—one of the seven dwarfs?”

“No,” she squealed. “But Grumpy is!” Kathleen’s laughter had passed the point of no return. Her cheeks were puffy, and her eyes had become slits.

I frowned again and recited the conversation for her. “All I said was, ‘I’ll have a coffee.’ ‘What size?’ she says. ‘A regular,’ I said. ‘We have grande, venti, solo, doppio, short, and tall,’ she says. ‘Four hundred ninety calories,’ you say. It’s a flippin’ two-inch square!”

Kathleen gripped the sides of the table. “Stop it!” she said. “You’re going to make me pee!”

When her last bubble of laughter died down, she told me it felt good to laugh after two hours with the kids. I understood what she meant. Bad as her life had been with Ken, she still managed to feel guilty that she had it so good by comparison.

I said, “I hate to end the party, but I need to ask you a few questions about Ken Chapman.”

She frowned. “Just when we were having such a good time.”

“I know.”

“I really hate to talk about it,” she said.

“I know.”

She looked at me and sighed. “Okay, Homeland. You put in your time. What would you like to know?”

For the better part of an hour, we talked about her marriage to Ken Chapman. It was hard on her, and by the time she dropped me off at my hotel, I could see she was emotionally drained. I didn’t ask her to join me for a nightcap, and she didn’t offer to, though she asked if I wanted to get together the next day.

“Tomorrow’s Valentine’s, you know,” she said.

I told her I had to meet someone, which was true. In fact, I said, I had to pack my overnight bag and head back to the airport that very night—also true. She nodded in an absentminded way as though this were something she’d heard before, something she expected me to say.

What I didn’t tell her: I had contracted to kill someone the next morning. What I did tell her: “I’m flying back tomorrow after my meeting to take you someplace special for dinner.” When I said that, her face lit up like a kid at Christmas and she gave me a big hug.

Then I said, “I’ll call you at work tomorrow just before noon and we can work out the details.”

An hour and change later, I was settling into my seat on the Citation. Ten minutes after that, I was sleeping soundly. But just before falling asleep, I thought Kathleen Gray had to be the nicest human being I’d ever met.