39

The elevator doors had barely opened before Chris Unger’s secretary let out a blood-curdling scream and jumped below her desk.

“Poor dear,” said Quinn. “I should comfort her.”

“That work for you in the past?” I asked.

The muscle head who was obviously Chris Unger’s bodyguard suddenly appeared. He looked at Quinn, did a double take, and said, “Jesus H. Christ!” There was something about the guy I couldn’t place. Up close, he looked familiar. Perhaps he came to earth with powers far beyond those of mortal men, at least that’s how he comported himself. In any event, he was a big, heavily muscled guy, built thick like a fireplug. His head was shaved completely smooth and on his forehead, above the bridge of his nose, someone had carved XX.

Quinn sat his duffel on the floor.

“What’s in your purse?” asked Muscle head. “A tampon?” He pursed his lips and smacked a kiss in Quinn’s direction.

Augustus noticed my left leg had buckled. He shot me a look.

“I’m okay,” I said.

He nodded. Nobody moved. The muscle head kept his voice calm. He said, “Miss, come on out and get behind me.”

She scrambled out from the desk well and shielded her eyes as she ran behind Mr. Muscles. From what I could tell, she had a nice enough figure, but I wasn’t a fan of the tight, angry bun she wore in her hair. She was hyperventilating, and her voice made a funny huffing sound as she struggled to get herself under control.

“Your severe reaction toward my associate suggests poor training,” I said, trying to be helpful.

To Augustus, she shrieked, “You keep away from me!”

The muscle head whispered something, and she backed up a few steps and slowly circled around us and disappeared through the elevator doors. I could have stopped her, but I knew Sal’s driver would handle it.

Now that he was alone in the room with us, the body builder let us hear his street voice.

“Who the fuck’re you turds and what do you want?”

“We’d like to see Garrett Unger and his brother Chris,” I said, trying to be polite about it.

“I work for Chris Unger,” he said, “and you don’t talk to Chris Unger without my okay. You got something to say to Chris Unger, you say it to me.”

“Very well,” I said. “Tell Mr. Unger his body guard is a pussy.”

The muscle head kept a watchful eye on my giant and the space between them. Then he said, “Okay, so you know who I am, right?”

I looked at Quinn. He shrugged.

“We don’t know,” I said, “but you look familiar to us.”

“You always speak for the dummy?” he asked.

I noticed that he noticed my limp as I took a step toward him.

“I’m Double X,” he said, as if that explained everything.

Quinn and I exchanged looks again.

“You carve that in your head when you turned twenty?” asked Quinn.

Double X frowned. “It’s my nickname. On the circuit.”

“The circuit,” I said.

Double X sighed. “Hello-o, the UFW circuit? Ultimate Fighting Warriors?”

“Oh, that circuit,” I said.

I took another gimpy step toward him. He shifted his weight into a fighting stance and said, “I’m the former heavyweight world champion.” He said that part with a healthy measure of pride. “How nice for you,” I said. “Maybe we can talk about it after I see Mr. Unger. Would you be a good little warrior and take us to him?” Double X sneered.

I’ve had tough guys sneer at me lots of times, but I was pretty sure not many had sneered at Quinn. I glanced at my monster. He didn’t appear to be offended.

Addressing me, but pointing at Augustus, Double X said, “I don’t know your boyfriend, Mr. Ass Face, but I know who you are. You’re the guy who kidnapped Monica Childers.”

Quinn said, “Ass Face?”

To me, Double X said, “You’re pretty tough when it comes to assaulting skinny, middle-aged women, but in me you’ll find an unbeatable foe.”

I said, “They teach you to talk like that in the UHF?”

“That’s UFW, asshole.” He appraised me as if he were sniffing an onion. “You got some size on you, and you may have kicked some untrained butt in your day, but you can’t fathom the stuff I’ve seen. You wouldn’t last thirty seconds in the quad.”

“Quad?”

“That’s right. They stick you in a cage with a world contender and you don’t walk out until one of you is basically dead.”

He let that comment sit in the air a minute, and then added, “You guys are going to stay right here till I say you can move.”

“I don’t think so,” I said.

“Mr. Unger’s secretary is at this very moment talking to a member of organized crime about you. You guys are already dead; you just don’t know it yet.”

A good martial artist will always attack your weakness, and Double X didn’t disappoint, rushing me the way I knew he would, leading with his right leg to sweep my gimpy leg out from under me.

Unfortunately for Double X, I didn’t have a gimpy leg, and I easily moved inside his kick before it could do any damage. Double X suddenly found himself in a strange position, slightly off -balance, vulnerable, his leg still rising toward a target that wasn’t there.

Before he had a chance to regroup, I punched the former quad cage heavyweight champion of the world in the neck, with full leverage behind the blow. I followed it up with a left hook to the other side of his neck, and his eyes went white. He tried to fall, but I caught his Adam’s apple between my thumb and index knuckle and crushed it until his mouth formed a perfect O shape. When I released my grip, Double X fell in a heap and grabbed his throat. He made an attempt to speak, but the effort proved too great. He rolled onto his side, and his legs began twitching involuntarily, like a sleeping dog dreaming about chasing a rabbit.

I looked at Quinn. “Just before I crushed his larynx, he patted my shoulder several times. Why do you suppose he did that?”

“I think he was tapping out. It’s what they do in the quad cage when they’ve had enough.”

“Oh. He should have said.”

I stepped over him and went through the door from which Double X had appeared a moment earlier.

Quinn found Double X’s gun and put it in his duffel. Then he grabbed Double X by the collar and dragged him and his twitchy legs through the door and down the hall until he saw me enter Chris Unger’s suite.

First thing I noticed going in, Chris Unger was at his desk, his back to the windows. Three client chairs faced him. The first was occupied by Chris’s brother, Garrett. The second chair was empty. Sitting in the third chair was my favorite crime boss, Sal Bonadello.

Sal nodded in my direction and said, “Hey, this is—whatcha call—serendipity. We was just talking about you!”

I recognized Sal’s bodyguard, leaning against the far wall.

“I guess Joe said it’s okay to bring Big Bad.”

Sal nodded. “I was takin’ a leak just before you got here. Takin’ a leak always makes me think of Joe. So I called him.”

Big Bad had his hand inside his jacket.

“You still use the 357?” I asked.

Without changing the expression on his face, Big Bad glanced at Sal through reptilian eyes. Sal said, “It’s okay; they’re with me.”

Both Ungers gave him a look. Then they looked at each other. Garrett seemed more nervous than his older brother.

All eyes suddenly turned to the doorway as Quinn entered, dragging Double X behind him. Double X continued to hold his neck with one hand while pawing the air with the other. Still trying to tap out, I figured. Quinn released his prey, and Double X hit the floor face first. Quinn locked the door behind him.

Sal jumped to his feet, suddenly excited. “Wait a minute!” he said. “I seen this before! At the movies, right? Weekend at Bernie’s, right?” He pointed at Double X. “You’re the guy! You’re Bernie!”

From his post across the office, Big Bad watched with amused ambivalence.

By contrast, Chris Unger was outraged. “What’s the meaning of this?” he demanded. Unger stood tall, assuming the defiant stance befitting his status of legal heavyweight. His hair was silver and gelled, and he wore it combed straight back. He had on a navy Armani suit, a crisp white broadcloth shirt, and a bright red silk tie.

Those who fear attorneys would have been shaking in their boots at the sight of him, but this was a different crowd. Unable to get the reaction he’d expected, Unger sat back down at his desk, which probably cost more than the house I grew up in. It wasn’t just the desk that was intimidating—everything in his office exuded power, from the dark cherry paneling to the trophy wall littered with photos of Unger posing with presidents past and present, not to mention the Hollywood elite. Clearly, this was a man willing to pay the extra fee at fundraising events to secure the vanity shot.

“I need to speak with your brother,” I said. “It’ll just take a minute.”

Chris Unger opened his mouth to protest, but saw Double X trying to tap out and changed his mind.

Chris obviously spent a lot of time admiring Double X’s fighting ability on the circuit in the quad cage, because he was visibly shaken to see the former baddest man on the planet reduced to his current state.

Double X must have caught a glimpse of the disappointment in his employer’s face, because he tried to form the words “sucker punch.” It sounded more like “suction pump.”

Chris Unger suddenly found his voice. “Garrett, don’t say a word. I’m calling Joe DeMeo.” He reached for the phone.

“Augustus?” I said.

Quinn picked up the unoccupied chair and used it as a battering ram to smash the window. He put the chair down and picked Chris Unger up like a rag doll and carried him to the window.

Garrett Unger jumped to his feet.

“Put him down!” Garrett yelled.

Chris waved his brother off, tried to keep the calm in his voice. “Let’s all just relax,” he said. “Look, gentlemen, we’ve all seen this a hundred times in the movies. You can threaten me all you want, but in the final analysis, we all know you’re bluffing. You have no intention of throwing me out the window, so let’s just sit down and—”

Quinn threw Chris Unger out the window.