Secrets. She’d known Luke had them. It made no sense that she was shocked. But Domini twisted away from him, then evaded Matt until she stood shrinking against a wall, pressing both hands against her chest. Her heart pounded until her whole body felt buffeted by the rhythm of its beat. Chills tingled over her skin. She wondered if any of them could see that she was shaking.
He’d lied to her. Domini didn’t realize she had whispered her accusation out loud until Luke loomed in front of her.
“Never. You asked if I worked for him. I do.”
“You lied by omission, Luke. Never once did you tell me who you really—”
“I’m me. Luke. Period. I gave up cashing in on the Colfax name a long time ago.”
“And you are the sole judge of what lies and secrets are innocent and which ones are harmful?” Domini wrapped her arms around her waist—she was chilled to the bone. Had she been blinded? How could he have fooled her? Why hadn’t she seen the resemblance that was so plain now? Toma’s son!
“Leave me alone, Luke.” Her voice wavered and cracked.
Luke muttered profanity that had her turn her head away from him and close her eyes.
“Get away from her,” Matt ordered, shoving his brother aside.
“Touch her an’ you’ll find it’s the last time you use that hand.” Crowding Matt aside, Luke leaned close to Domini. He cradled her chin with one hand and reached for her shoulder to turn her toward him, but Domini jerked away.
Smugness rode Matt’s voice. “Now, will you leave her alone? She’s made it plain that she doesn’t want your hands on her.” His face suddenly looked older, harder, almost threatening.
“Call him off, Toma, or the deal’s done right now.”
“Matt, come away. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunity to state your case to Dominica.” Toma moved to refill his glass. “Matthew.” His order was harsh with command that expected instant obedience.
Domini heard their voices, but they all sounded far away. Luke had lied to her. Luke was Toma’s son, a Colfax. He had … No! She couldn’t think about any more now.
“Step aside, both of you,” Amanda ordered. She shot Luke a glaring look of warning when he stood firm. “Toma, if you want a bride alive, get rid of him, too.”
“What I want is for everyone to stop mollycoddlin’ that girl so she gives me an answer.”
Amanda reached for Domini, but she shrank away from her touch. Luke spun Amanda around, ignored her yelp, and with a gentle shove sent her toward Matt. To keep his mother from falling, Matt held onto her. With both hands braced on the wall, Luke used his body to cage Domini where she stood and protect her from the others.
“Listen to me,” he leaned close to whisper. “I haven’t changed any. Forget that my name’s Colfax. I’m all you’ve got between you and them, Domini.” He swore viciously when she lifted bruised, bewildered eyes to his.
“That’s it. I’m taking you out of here.” He swung her up into his arms, his look so forbidding that both Amanda and Matt stood aside for him. He was thankful that Domini wasn’t fighting him as he reached for the brass-work handle on the door. Before Luke managed to get it open, a sharp knock made him step aside as Madison Grady burst into the room.
“Toma, we got trouble. Big trouble. The Nez Perce killed thirty-four soldiers up in White Bird Canyon last week. There’s gonna be hell to pay with them running loose in these mountains. The army’s got—”
“Amanda, leave us,” Toma said, moving quickly to pour a drink for Grady. “Luke, you take that girl to her room an’ come back here. You tossed your hat in the ring. That means you need to know what’s going on.”
Luke nodded. He had done just that. Involved himself when all he wanted was to get away to where no one had ever heard of Colfax land, Colfax money. His hold on Domini tightened a bit when he saw that Grady was looking at her. Toma saw it, too.
“Never mind the girl, Grady. She’s none of your concern. Drink up. Soon as Luke comes back—”
It was all Luke heard as he strode out into the hall. There was no sign of Amanda. He’d been afraid she would be lying in wait. He rubbed the side of his cheek against Domini’s hair as his quick steps took them down the hallway to her room.
Once inside, Luke set her down on the settee. The wood box, he saw, had been replenished, and the fire built up to last the night. When he rose and looked at Domini, he found himself pained to see her pale. She sat with her arms crossed over her chest, rubbing her upper arms as though chilled. And maybe she was, he admitted, but only from the past hour’s company.
He wondered if he should attempt an explanation. The thought was dismissed in the next few moments. Luke doubted she would listen to anything he had to say. But there was a need in him to tell her why he had become a part of Toma’s scheme.
She looked up, right through him, her eyes glazed as she began rocking back and forth. Luke couldn’t walk away from her.
“Domini?” He came to hunker by the side of the settee and tried to take one of her hands within his. His mouth tightened just as her fingers did on her arm. “All right, I won’t touch you, but—”
“Go away.” Weak and soft, it was all she could say. Tears burned her eyes. She refused to cry. If she cried, she would let the pain free.
Luke reached up to her braided coil of hair and began plucking out the pins. She jerked her head back, but he caught her around the neck with his free hand until he was done. Tucking the hairpins in his vest pocket, he rocked back on his heels.
Domini refused to acknowledge his continued presence. Their games are deep and vicious. Luke’s words. Luke’s warning. But he had never included himself. And his was the deeper, far more vicious game.
She was suddenly so lightheaded she thought she would faint. Domini squeezed her eyes shut on hot tears. Determinedly she blinked them back. She couldn’t give in to the need to cry. Shaking her head in denial, she tried to remember that Luke would hone in on weakness the way a predator honed in on prey.
“Honey, I’m a patient man when I want to be. I can stay here all night until you’re ready to talk to me.” He gazed at her, his mouth gentling as he reached out to touch her cheek. Her flesh was cold. His eyes were thoughtful when she finally lifted her head to look at him.
“Why?” Domini cleared her throat and tried again. “Why did you do it? You don’t want to marry me.”
“I had my reasons.”
“More secrets, Luke?”
It was the pleading that reached him. “Would you believe me if I said I did it to protect you?”
She studied him for several minutes, somewhat surprised that he stayed still and waited. “Do you consider me a child as Amanda—I mean, your mother—”
“Don’t ever call her that!” There was a blaze of anger in his eyes as he hauled her to her feet.
“She never wanted me. And never once—ah, hell, forget it. Finish what you were gonna say.”
Her fingers trembled as she lifted her hand to cup his cheek. “I want to believe you. I want to trust you.”
“But?”
She looked away from his intense gaze. Her hand slid down and she pushed against his chest. “Let me go, Luke. I’m confused. I need time alone to sort this out.”
“Toma,” he said, giving her a rough little shake, “isn’t gonna give you much time. And if you’ve got any thoughts of leaving, forget them. What Grady said in there,” he grated from between clenched teeth, nodding toward the door, “means that no one but no one will leave the ranch now.”
“Not even you.”
“Not even me.” He gazed at her bowed head, and desire—that strong possessive force that made him want to rip Matt apart for touching her—rose until he could feel himself shake.
“Domini?” The moment she looked up at him, his mouth descended on hers. He was thorough, and not particularly gentle. But then, he wasn’t feeling any gentle, tender emotions. All the antagonism raised by his coming back, raised by Toma’s grand scheme and what was between him and Domini, was there in that kiss, but it was charged and explosive with more. Much more than he wanted to name.
When Luke released her, Domini, flushed and breathless, took a step backward, leaning against the settee. Her legs were trembling so much she was in danger of collapsing on the floor.
“Don’t ever—”
“No more, Luke.”
His hand rose and brushed against her breast. “Matt will never make your heart pound like that.”
Mutely she stared up at him, seeing the mockery fade suddenly from his eyes, watching them grow curiously intent as his hand moved with new purpose on the swell of her breast, his fingers seeking the tumescent nipple through the thin cloth of her bodice. She shivered with awakened desire.
Luke dropped his hands to his sides. “Don’t expect me to apologize. Just remember what I told you. Toma’s a bastard, Amanda’s a bitch, and Matt’s their son. I wouldn’t take bets on a nest of rattlers surviving the three of them.”
“Then I will need to pray very hard for strength, Luke.”
“If it gives you comfort, go ahead. Lock the door.”
Domini nodded and heard him cross to the door. She almost called out to him, but bit her lip.
Domini didn’t rise to lock the door; she couldn’t move from where she huddled at one end of the settee. Watching the fire, she finally admitted to herself that the Indian troubles made her a virtual prisoner on the ranch.
It did little good to berate herself for not making a firm declaration that taking vows was her true vocation. The convent and the life it offered had always been there, security, protection. Now, by her admission she had lost it. Innate honesty forced her to acknowledge that she had told them the truth. And to herself now, she added that the time she had spent with Luke had influenced her. She couldn’t seem to put aside as easily the desire she felt.
But desire had not prompted Luke’s offer. He didn’t want to marry her. Could he have told her the truth, that he had offered to protect her? Was she in danger from Toma, Amanda, and Matt?
Rubbing her head, feeling the tension that made it pound, she stared into the brightly burning fire. Amanda had planned to use her all these years. She was the foolish child the woman had called her, but no one could force her to marry. She had to cling to that. Toma could threaten all he wanted, yet there was no way he could force her to repeat wedding vows to either of his sons.
Could he?
Domini woke with a crick in her neck from the awkward position she had slept in on the settee. A knock at the door roused her as she blinked at the sunlight flooding the room. The fire had been reduced to ash, she saw, stretching the aches from cramped limbs.
Hearing Lucy call out and knock again, Domini rose and went to the door. Lucy waited with her arms full of clean, pressed laundry.
“Miz Colfax would like you to join her for breakfast soon as you’re dressed.”
Domini watched the efficient, tall young woman make her way to the dresser. “Did she say why, Lucy?”
“No. She wouldn’t be saying much to me.”
“But you know, don’t you?” When Lucy hesitated, then looked at Domini, her plain features almost without expression, Domini knew she was right. “I imagine there are few secrets kept from you and the other members of the household.”
“I don’t gossip.”
“I didn’t ask you to, Lucy. I simply wanted to know—”
“She sent for you. That’s all the reason she needs.”
“I see.”
“Soon as I fetch hot water, I’ll help you get dressed.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m not comfortable having someone wait on me.” Domini walked to the window, and found that it faced the back of the house. She could make out the corrals and the crowd of men around one of them. She thought of Luke’s deal to break horses. And with that reminder came the memory of the scars on his back. And last night…
Toma saying, “I’ll skin your hide,” and Luke’s reply, “She already tried that.”
She bit down on her hand to keep from crying out. Dear Lord, what had Luke lived with in this house? How could anyone survive such hate? How could a woman hate a child she had given birth to? What hold did Amanda have on Toma that he would have allowed her to whip his son?
Secrets.
Domini found herself rubbing her arms against the inner chill that rose inside her despite the warmth of the streaming sunlight.
“I’ll come back and take you to Miz Colfax,” Lucy said.
Delving into questions would serve her no purpose now, so Domini turned away from the window. Lucy had filled the washbasin behind the screen with hot water. Spread on the bed that Domini had not slept in was her clean chemise and petticoats. A pair of ladies high-button shoes rested on the floor. Next to the stockings on the bed, Lucy had put out a two-piece printed calico polonaise. It was the only other presentable gown that Domini had to wear. Eyeing the shoes again, she was surprised that Amanda had not commented on her moccasins.
Foolishness! Yes, but she needed to concentrate on such foolish items or the pain would be back in full force. She needed her mind clear to deal with Amanda.
Hurrying to strip off her wrinkled gown, Domini refused to dwell on the reason for Amanda’s summons. Nor could she form a plan of action. The image of Luke’s back kept coming to mind. Domini felt anger swell into rage against Amanda as she washed and dressed.
She ignored the shoes and laced her moccasins on. The long, ruffle-trimmed skirt hid them. She buttoned the bodice that extended past her hips, its drapery looped back to form the polonaise. She wasn’t vain about her appearance—vanity was not indulged at the mission—but she did take the time to inspect herself while she brushed out her hair. The gray background of the cloth was enlivened by tiny yellow flower sprigs. She found the matching yellow ribbon and used it to tie her braid. Luke had kept the hairpins he had taken from her last night. She was disappointed to find herself appearing a young schoolgirl, when she wished to meet Amanda as an equal. Squaring her shoulders, Domini heard Lucy at the door. She followed the maid not to the dining room, as she had expected, but to Amanda’s suite.
The drawing room Lucy led her to was opposite the front parlor. Gold drapes were pulled across the front windows, but it was light enough to see that everything in the room was gold and white. Gilt furniture, the lines delicate, was covered in a variety of white embroidered materials. White on white. Domini thought it strange. It was not a room that welcomed anyone to sit and be comfortable. But then, she reminded herself, Amanda wasn’t a woman who made one feel welcome and comfortable.
Tabletops were crowded with porcelain figurines, crystal, and glassware. Domini had the impression that Amanda had invested a great deal of effort to remind anyone entering this room of the Colfax wealth.
Lucy opened a door at the end of the room where she waited. Domini hurried forward. This was a smaller sitting room, again furnished in white and gold. A round table was set for two in the middle of the room. There was no sign of Amanda, and when she turned, it was to see Lucy close the door behind her.
Domini was drawn to the gilt-framed portrait above the fireplace. It was Amanda, a much younger Amanda, hair flowing free over a white gown. Pink roses were scattered around the gown’s hem, but it was the face, more precisely Amanda’s eyes, that captured Domini’s attention. There was a hint of a smile on Amanda’s lips, but the eyes sparkled. The artist had caught the first moments of laughter.
The more she stared up at the painting, the more saddened Domini felt. What had happened to make Amanda such a bitter, vicious-tempered woman?
“I was seventeen when that was painted.”
“And happy,” Domini said, turning around to find Amanda, dressed in a blue silk morning gown, lifting the silver covers off the serving pieces.
“Yes. I was very happy that day. My father had accepted a proposal of marriage from someone I loved. Come join me. I am sure you will find that Ellamay is an excellent cook.”
Domini took the place across from her, hands folded in her lap while Amanda served poached eggs over steaming biscuits.
“So tense, Dominica? There is no need. I invited you to join me for breakfast, not to be the meal.”
“Why?” Domini blurted out, realizing that Amanda was right. She was drawn tight with tension.
Setting aside a delicate china cup, Amanda sat back. “Everything went wrong last night. Toma is not a man who will ever understand subtlety or acquire patience. My hopes were for you and me to have an opportunity to know one another. I also wished for Matt to have a—”
“Amanda, I’m not marrying Matt.” Domini gave up any pretense of attempting to eat.
“I am sorry to hear you say that. In the absence of your parents I had hoped that you would be willing to allow my knowledge and experience to guide you. I simply did not want you to make the same mistake I did.”
Domini glanced at the painting, then back at Amanda. “Toma wasn’t the man who you loved.”
A statement, not a question, but Amanda answered her. “No. Toma was not the man I loved. He was a man I lost due some unfortunate debts my father accumulated within months. When my fiancé discovered the extent of debt, he called off our engagement. I was broken-hearted and humiliated. Seventeen is such a dangerous age for young women who believe that they know what is best for them.
“Toma was visiting his cousin. We met, and while he was older, much older than any man I had been attracted to, Toma had one advantage none other could give me. He was leaving for the western territories to try his luck at mining. I decided to go with him.”
“You weren’t in love with him?”
“No. Love at that time was vastly overrated. A fickle emotion suitable for children to dream about. I was attracted to him. He was handsome, wild enough to be a little dangerous, but very tempting. As I said, Toma’s most attractive feature was his intent to take me away from painful memories.”
Amanda shrugged and reached out for her china coffee cup. “I admit it was not a good reason for a marriage, but it was one that made perfect sense to me at the time. I refused to listen to my mother’s warnings that I could never change him. I was not wise enough to hear her counsel about his temper. I certainly was beyond having respect for my father’s opinion.
“You see, Dominica, I blamed my father for losing my love with all the foolish blindness that the young are capable of doing.”
“Why are you telling me this?” She watched Amanda take a delicate, cat-like sip of her coffee.
“I see within you the same spirit I once had. If you choose the wrong man, Dominica, it will be snuffed like an unwanted, unneeded candle.”
“Last night you said that you knew what my father wanted for me. How could you? Weren’t he and Toma alone in these mountains looking for gold?”
“Is that what they told your mother?” Amanda’s short laugh was bitter. “No, they were not here alone. Toma had built a small cabin on the very spot where this house now stands. We were living here when he returned with your father.
“I know how angry you are, Dominica, how betrayed you feel. Did it ever occur to you why your father left you and your mother behind in California? Left you both alone to fend for yourselves while he chased after a dream of finding gold? Toma dragged me from one mining site to another for almost fifteen years—”
“You and your sons?”
Amanda’s fingers tightened around the cup until her knuckles showed white. Very carefully, as if she was afraid she would break it, she set the cup down on its plate. Her gaze was chilling as she stared at Domini.
“Yes. He dragged me and my son with him. I am trying to help you avoid my mistakes. What has—”
“Amanda! Stop denying Luke! He’s—”
“Never, do you hear me, Dominica, never dare to raise what has passed between Luke and myself as a subject of conversation again. Toma Colfax claims him as his. I will not speak about this again. Do you understand?”
“Perfectly.” But Domini didn’t. Amanda’s voice was shaken. Last night Luke refused to have her named his mother. Secrets. She was beginning to hate the twists and turns of the Colfaxes.
But Domini couldn’t shake off the feeling that this was something she needed to know to understand Luke. He wouldn’t tell her, and now Amanda refused to discuss it. What could have happened to make her hate her own son?
Looking up to find Amanda thoughtfully studying her, Domini pushed the matter aside. There had been so much more that Amanda revealed. The question of why her father had left them behind begged an answer.
“Amanda, how well did you know my father?”
“He lived with us for eighteen months.”
“I see.” Fussing with the placement of her silverware, Domini tried very hard not to read into that answer more than Amanda stated. But she thought of her mother’s tears, the loneliness she had suffered, the poverty they had both endured, and found that she was not blessed with the gentle goodness that Sister Benedict claimed she had.
“Dominica, I doubt that you fully understand. Your father was very different from Toma. James was a kind man, a most compassionate one. He loved to read. We shared many enjoyable hours with the few books I managed to keep. All those months learning to laugh again made me realize that the marriage I thought myself reconciled to was a failure. I grew bitter with Toma’s verbal abuse, with his women—oh, yes, there were women, Dominica. And then there was his drinking.”
Domini closed her eyes briefly, praying for some guidance. A few moments of silence passed, then she opened her eyes and stared at Amanda.
“What are you telling me?”
“Exactly what you came here to find out.”