[Dumb show.]
Enter GENTLEMEN, VERMANDERO meeting them with action of wonderment at the flight of PIRACQUO. Enter ALSEMERO, with JASPERINO, and GALLANTS; VERMANDERO points to him, the GENTLEMEN seeming to applaud the choice. [Exeunt in procession VERMANDERO] ALSEMERO, JASPERINO, and GENTLEMEN; BEATRICE the bride following in great state, accompanied with DIAPHANTA, ISABELLA and other GENTLEWOMEN; DE FLORES after all, smiling at the accident; ALONZO’S GHOST appears to DE FLORES in the midst of his smile, startles him, showing him the hand whose finger he had cut off. They pass over in great solemnity.
Enter BEATRICE.
BEATRICE. This fellow has undone me endlessly,
Never was bride so fearfully distress’d,.
The more I think upon th’ensuing night
And whom I am to cope with in embraces,
One that’s ennobled both in blood and mind,
So clear in understanding (that’s my plague now)
Before whose judgment will my fault appear
Like malefactors’ crimes before tribunals;
There is no hiding on’t, the more I dive
Into my own distress; how a wise man
Stands for a great calamity! There’s no venturing
Into his bed, what course soe’er I light upon,
Without my shame, which may grow up to danger;
He cannot but in justice strangle me
As I lie by him, as a cheater use me;
’Tis a precious craft to play with a false die
Before a cunning gamester. Here’s his closet,
The key left in’t, and he abroad i’th’park:
Sure ’twas forgot; I’ll be so bold as look in’t.
[Opens closet.]
Bless me! A right physician’s closet ’tis,
Set round with vials, every one her mark too.
Sure he does practise physic for his own use,
Which may be safely call’d your great man’s wisdom.
What manuscript lies here? ‘The Book of Experiment,
Call’d Secrets in Nature’; so ’tis, ’tis so;
‘How to know whether a woman be with child or no’.
I hope I am not yet; if he should try though!
Let me see, folio forty-five. Here ’tis;
The leaf tuck’d down upon’t, the place suspicious.
‘If you would know whether a woman be with child or not, give her two spoonfuls of the white water in glass C . . .’
Where’s that glass C? O yonder, I see’t now:
‘. . . and if she be with child, she sleeps full twelve hours after, if not, not.’
None of that water comes into my belly.
I’ll know you from a hundred; I could break you now,
Or turn you into milk, and so beguile
The master of the mystery, but I’ll look to you.
Ha! That which is next is ten times worse.
‘How to know whether a woman be a maid or not’;
If that should be applied, what would become of me?
Belike he has a strong faith of my purity,
That never yet made proof; but this he calls
‘A merry sleight, but true experiment, the author Antonius Mizaldus. Give the party you suspect the quantity of a spoonful of the water in the glass M, which upon her that is a maid makes three several effects: ’twill make her incontinently gape, then fall into a sudden sneezing, last into a violent laughing; else dull, heavy, and lumpish.’
Where had I been?
I fear it, yet ’tis seven hours to bedtime.
Enter DIAPHANTA.
DIAPHANTA. Cuds, madam, are you here?
BEATRICE [aside]. |
Seeing that wench now, |
A trick comes in my mind; ’tis a nice piece
Gold cannot purchase; I come hither, wench,
To look my lord.
DIAPHANTA [aside]. Would I had such a cause to look him too!
Why, he’s i’th’park, madam.
BEATRICE. There let him be.
DIAPHANTA. |
Ay, madam, let him compass |
Whole parks and forests, as great rangers do;
At roosting time a little lodge can hold ’em.
Earth-conquering Alexander, that thought the world
Too narrow for him, in the end had but his pit-hole.
BEATRICE. I fear thou art not modest, Diaphanta.
DIAPHANTA. Your thoughts are so unwilling to be known, madam;
’Tis ever the bride’s fashion towards bedtime
To set light by her joys, as if she ow’d ’em not.
BEATRICE. Her joys? Her fears, thou would’st say.
DIAPHANTA. |
Fear of what? |
BEATRICE. Art thou a maid, and talk’st so to a maid?
You leave a blushing business behind,
Beshrew your heart for’t!
DIAPHANTA. |
Do you mean good sooth, madam? |
BEATRICE. Well, if I’d thought upon the fear at first,
Man should have been unknown.
DIAPHANTA. |
Is’t possible? |
BEATRICE. I will give a thousand ducats to that woman
Would try what my fear were, and tell me true
Tomorrow, when she gets from’t; as she likes
I might perhaps be drawn to’t.
DIAPHANTA. |
Are you in earnest? |
BEATRICE. Do you get the woman, then challenge me,
And see if I’ll fly from’t; but I must tell you
This by the way, she must be a true maid,
Else there’s no trial, my fears are not hers else.
DIAPHANTA. Nay, she that I would put into your hands, madam,
Shall be a maid.
BEATRICE. |
You know I should be sham’d else, |
Because she lies for me.
DIAPHANTA. |
’Tis a strange humour; |
But are you serious still? Would you resign
Your first night’s pleasure, and give money too?
BEATRICE. As willingly as live. [Aside.] Alas, the gold Is but a by-bet to wedge in the honour.
DIAPHANTA. I do not know how the world goes abroad
For faith or honesty, there’s both requir’d in this.
Madam, what say you to me, and stray no further?
I’ve a good mind, in troth, to earn your money.
BEATRICE. Y’are too quick, I fear, to be a maid.
DIAPHANTA. How? Not a maid? Nay, then you urge me, madam;
Your honourable self is not a truer
With all your fears upon you –
BEATRICE [aside]. |
Bad enough then. |
DIAPHANTA. Than I with all my lightsome joys about me.
BEATRICE. I’m glad to hear’t then; you dare put your honesty Upon an easy trial?
DIAPHANTA. |
Easy? – Anything. |
BEATRICE. I’ll come to you straight.
[Goes to closet.]
DIAPHANTA [aside]. She will not search me, will she, Like the forewoman of a female jury?
BEATRICE [aside]. Glass M. Ay, this is it; look, Diaphanta, You take no worse than I do. [Drinks.]
DIAPHANTA. |
And in so doing, |
I will not question what ’tis, but take it. [Drinks.]
BEATRICE [aside]. Now if the experiment be true, ’twill praise itself,
And give me noble ease: – begins already;
There’s the first symptom; and what haste it makes
To fall into the second, there by this time!
[DIAPHANTA sneezes.]
Most admirable secret! On the contrary,
It stirs not me a whit, which most concerns it.
DIAPHANTA. Ha, ha, ha!
BEATRICE [aside]. |
Just in all things and in order |
As if ’twere circumscrib’d; one accident
Gives way unto another.
DIAPHANTA. |
Ha, ha, ha! |
BEATRICE. |
How now, wench? |
DIAPHANTA. Ha, ha, ha! I am so, so light at heart – ha, ha, ha! – so pleasurable!
But one swig more, sweet madam.
BEATRICE. |
Ay, tomorrow; |
We shall have time to sit by’t.
DIAPHANTA. |
Now I’m sad again. |
BEATRICE [aside]. It lays itself so gently, too! Come, wench, Most honest Diaphanta I dare call thee now.
DIAPHANTA. Pray tell me, madam, what trick call you this?
BEATRICE. I’ll tell thee all hereafter; we must study The carriage of this business.
DIAPHANTA. |
I shall carry’t well, |
Because I love the burthen.
BEATRICE. |
About midnight |
You must not fail to steal forth gently,
That I may use the place.
DIAPHANTA. |
O fear not, madam, |
I shall be cool by that time. [Aside.] The bride’s place,
And with a thousand ducats! I’m for a Justice now,
I bring a portion with me; I scorn small fools.
Exeunt.
Enter VERMANDERO and SERVANT.
VERMANDERO. I tell thee, knave, mine honour is in question,
A thing till now free from suspicion,
Nor ever was there cause. Who of my gentlemen
Are absent? Tell me and truly how many and who.
SERVANT. Antonio, sir, and Franciscus.
VERMANDERO. When did they leave the castle?
SERVANT. Some ten days since, sir, the one intending to Briamata, th’other for Valencia.
VERMANDERO. The time accuses ’em; a charge of murder
Is brought within my castle gate, Piracquo’s murder;
I dare not answer faithfully their absence:
A strict command of apprehension
Shall pursue ’em suddenly, and either wipe
The stain off clear, or openly discover it.
Provide me winged warrants for the purpose.
See, I am set on again
Exit SERVANT.
TOMAZO. I claim a brother of you.
VERMANDERO. |
Y’are too hot, |
Seek him not here.
TOMAZO. |
Yes, ‘mongst your dearest bloods, |
If my peace find no fairer satisfaction;
This is the place must yield account for him,
For here I left him, and the hasty tie
Of this snatch’d marriage, gives strong testimony
Of his most certain ruin.
VERMANDERO. |
Certain falsehood! |
This is the place indeed; his breach of faith
Has too much marr’d both my abused love,
The honourable love I reserv’d for him,
And mock’d my daughter’s joy; the prepar’d morning
Blush’d at his infidelity; he left
Contempt and scorn to throw upon those friends
Whose belief hurt ’em. O ’twas most ignoble
To take his flight so unexpectedly
And throw such public wrongs on those that lov’d him.
TOMAZO. Then this is all your answer?
VERMANDERO. |
’Tis too fair |
For one of his alliance; and I warn you
That this place no more see you.
Enter DE FLORES.
TOMAZO. |
The best is, |
There is more ground to meet a man’s revenge on.
Honest De Flores!
DE FLORES. |
That’s my name indeed. |
Saw you the bride? Good sweet sir, which way took she?
TOMAZO. I have blest mine eyes from seeing such a false one.
DE FLORES [aside]. I’d fain get off, this man’s not for my company,
I smell his brother’s blood when I come near him.
TOMAZO. Come hither, kind and true one; I remember My brother lov’d thee well.
DE FLORES. |
O purely, dear sir! |
[Aside.] Methinks I am now again a-killing on him,
He brings it so fresh to me.
TOMAZO. |
Thou canst guess, sirrah |
(One honest friend has an instinct of jealousy),
At some foul guilty person?
DE FLORES. ’Las, sir, I am so charitable, I think none Worse than myself. – You did not see the bride then?
TOMAZO. I prithee name her not. Is she not wicked?
DE FLORES. No, no, a pretty, easy, round-pack’d sinner,
As your most ladies are, else you might think
I flatter’d her; but, sir, at no hand wicked,
Till th’are so old their sins and vices meet
And they salute witches. I am call’d, I think, sir.
[Aside.] His company ev’n o’erlays my conscience.
Exit.
TOMAZO. That De Flores has a wondrous honest heart;
He’ll bring it out in time, I’m assur’d on’t.
O here’s the glorious master of the day’s joy.
’Twill not be long till he and I do reckon.
Enter ALSEMERO.
Sir!
ALSEMERO. You are most welcome.
TOMAZO. |
You may call that word back; |
I do not think I am, nor wish to be.
ALSEMERO. ’Tis strange you found the way to this house then.
TOMAZO. Would I’d ne’er known the cause! I’m none of those, sir,
That come to give you joy, and swill your wine;
‘Tis a more precious liquor that must lay
The fiery thirst I bring.
ALSEMERO. |
Your words and you |
Appear to me great strangers.
TOMAZO. |
Time and our swords |
May make us more acquainted. This the business:
I should have a brother in your place;
How treachery and malice have dispos’d of him,
I’m bound to inquire of him which holds his right,
Which never could come fairly.
ALSEMERO. |
You must look |
To answer for that word, sir.
TOMAZO. |
Fear you not, |
I’ll have it ready drawn at our next meeting.
Keep your day solemn. Farewell, I disturb it not;
I’ll bear the smart with patience for a time.
Exit.
ALSEMERO. ’Tis somewhat ominous this, a quarrel enter’d
Upon this day. My innocence relieves me,
I should be wondrous sad else.
Enter JASPERINO.
|
I have news to tell thee, strange news.
JASPERINO. |
I ha’ some too, |
I think as strange as yours; would I might keep
Mine, so my faith and friendship might be kept in’t!
Faith sir, dispense a little with my zeal
And let it cool in this.
ALSEMERO. |
This puts me on |
And blames thee for thy slowness.
JASPERINO. |
All may prove nothing; |
Only a friendly fear that leapt from me, sir.
ALSEMERO. No question it may prove nothing; let’s partake it, though.
JASPERINO. ’Twas Diaphanta’s chance (for to that wench
I pretend honest love, and she deserves it)
To leave me in a back part of the house,
A place we chose for private conference;
She was no sooner gone, but instantly
I heard your bride’s voice in the next room to me,
And lending more attention, found De Flores
Louder than she.
ALSEMERO. |
De Flores? Thou art out now. |
JASPERINO. You’ll tell me more anon.
ALSEMERO. |
Still I’ll prevent thee: |
The very sight of him is poison to her.
JASPERINO. That made me stagger too, but Diaphanta At her return confirm’d it.
ALSEMERO. |
Diaphanta! |
JASPERINO. Then fell we both to listen, and words pass’d Like those that challenge interest in a woman.
ALSEMERO. Peace, quench thy zeal; ’tis dangerous to thy bosom.
JASPERINO. Then truth is full of peril.
ALSEMERO. |
Such truths are – |
O were she the sole glory of the earth,
Had eyes that could shoot fire into kings’ breasts,
And touch’d, she sleeps not here! Yet I have time,
Though night be near, to be resolv’d hereof,
And prithee do not weigh me by my passions.
JASPERINO. I never weigh’d friend so.
ALSEMERO. |
Done charitably. |
[Gives key.]
That key will lead thee to a pretty secret,
By a Chaldean taught me, and I’ve [made]
My study upon some. Bring from my closet
A glass inscrib’d there with the letter M.
And question not my purpose.
JASPERINO. |
It shall be done, sir. |
Exit.
ALSEMERO. How can this hang together? Not an hour since,
Her woman came pleading her lady’s fears,
Deliver’d her for the most timorous virgin
That ever shrunk at man’s name, and so modest,
She charg’d her weep out her request to me,
That she might come obscurely to my bosom.
Enter BEATRICE.
BEATRICE [aside]. All things go well. My woman’s preparing yonder
For her sweet voyage, which grieves me to lose;
Necessity compels it, I lose all else.
ALSEMERO [aside]. Push, modesty’s shrine is set in yonder forehead.
I cannot be too sure though. – My Joanna!
BEATRICE. Sir, I was bold to weep a message to you; Pardon my modest fears.
ALSEMERO [aside]. The dove’s not meeker; She’s abus’d, questionless. –
Enter JASPERINO [with glass].
|
O are you come, sir? |
BEATRICE [aside]. The glass, upon my life! I see the letter.
JASPERINO. Sir, this is M.
ALSEMERO. |
‘Tis it. |
BEATRICE [aside]. |
I am suspected. |
ALSEMERO. How fitly our bride comes to partake with us!
BEATRICE. What is’t, my lord?
ALSEMERO. |
No hurt. |
BEATRICE. |
Sir, pardon me, |
I seldom taste of any composition.
ALSEMERO. But this, upon my warrant, you shall venture on.
BEATRICE. I fear ’twill make me ill.
ALSEMERO. |
Heaven forbid that. |
BEATRICE [aside]. I’m put now to my cunning; th’effects I know, If I can now but feign ’em handsomely.
[Drinks.]
ALSEMERO [to JASPERINO]. It has that secret virtue, it ne’er miss’d, sir,
Upon a virgin.
JASPERINO. |
Treble qualitied? |
[BEATRICE gapes, then sneezes.]
ALSEMERO. By all that’s virtuous, it takes there, proceeds!
JASPERINO. This is the strangest trick to know a maid by.
BEATRICE. Ha, ha, ha!
You have given me joy of heart to drink, my lord.
ALSEMERO. No, thou hast given me such joy of heart, That never can be blasted.
BEATRICE. |
What’s the matter, sir? |
ALSEMERO [to JASPERINO]. See, now ’tis settled in a melancholy.
Keep both the time and method, my Joanna!
Chaste as the breath of heaven, or morning’s womb,
That brings the day forth, thus my love encloses thee.
[Embraces her.] Exeunt.
Enter ISABELLA and LOLLIO.
ISABELLA. O heaven! Is this the waiting moon?
Does love turn fool, run mad, and all [at] once?
Sirrah, here’s a madman, akin to the fool too,
A lunatic lover.
LOLLIO. No, no, not he I brought the letter from?
ISABELLA. Compare his inside with his out, and tell me.
[Gives him letter.]
LOLLIO. The out’s mad, I’m sure of that; I had a taste on’t. [Reads.] ‘To the bright Andromeda, chief chambermaid to the Knight of the Sun, at the sign of Scorpio, in the middle region, sent by the bellows mender of Aeolus. Pay the post.’ This is stark madness.
ISABELLA. Now mark the inside. [Takes letter and reads.]
‘Sweet lady, having now cast off this counterfeit cover of a madman, I appear to your best judgment a true and faithful lover of your beauty.’
LOLLIO. He is mad still.
ISABELLA. ‘If any fault you find, chide those perfections in you, which have made me imperfect; ’tis the same sun that causeth to grow and enforceth to wither . . .’
LOLLIO. O rogue!
ISABELLA. ‘. . . Shapes and trans-shapes, destroys and builds again; I come in winter to you dismantled of my proper ornaments; by the sweet splendour of your cheerful smiles, I spring and live a lover.’
LOLLIO. Mad rascal still!
ISABELLA. ‘Tread him not under foot, that shall appear an honour to your bounties. I remain – mad till I speak with you, from whom I expect my cure. Yours all, or one beside himself, Franciscus.’
LOLLIO. You are like to have a fine time on’t; my master and I may give over our professions: I do not think but you can cure fools and madmen faster than we, with little pains too.
ISABELLA. Very likely.
LOLLIO. One thing I must tell you, mistress: you perceive that I am privy to your skill; if I find you minister once and set up the trade, I put in for my thirds, I shall be mad or fool else.
ISABELLA. The first place is thine, believe it, Lollio, If I do fall –
LOLLIO. |
I fall upon you. |
ISABELLA. |
So. |
LOLLIO. Well, I stand to my venture.
ISABELLA. But thy counsel now, how shall I deal with ’em?
LOLLIO. Why, do you mean to deal with ’em?
ISABELLA. Nay, the fair understanding, how to use ’em.
LOLLIO. Abuse ’em! That’s the way to mad the fool, and make a fool of the madman, and then you use ’em kindly.
ISABELLA. ’Tis easy, I’ll practise; do thou observe it; The key of thy wardrobe.
LOLLIO. There; fit yourself for ’em, and I’ll fit ’em both for you.
[Gives her key.]
ISABELLA. Take thou no further notice than the outside.
Exit.
LOLLIO. Not an inch; I’ll put you to the inside.
ALIBIUS. Lollio, art there? Will all be perfect, think’st thou?
Tomorrow night, as if to close up the solemnity,
Vermandero expects us.
LOLLIO. I mistrust the madmen most; the fools will do well enough; I have taken pains with them.
ALIBIUS. Tush, they cannot miss; the more absurdity
The more commends it, so no rough behaviours
Affright the ladies; they are nice things, thou know’st.
LOLLIO. You need not fear, sir; so long as we are there with our commanding pizzles, they’ll be as tame as the ladies themselves.
ALIBIUS. I will see them once more rehearse before they go.
LOLLIO. I was about it, sir; look you to the madmen’s morris, and let me alone with the other; there is one or two that I mistrust their fooling; I’ll instruct them, and then they shall rehearse the whole measure.
ALIBIUS. Do so; I’ll see the music prepar’d. But Lollio,
By the way, how does my wife brook her restraint?
Does she not grudge at it?
LOLLIO. So, so; she takes some pleasure in the house, she would abroad else; you must allow her a little more length, she’s kept too short.
ALIBIUS. She shall along to Vermandero’s with us; That will serve her for a month’s liberty.
LOLLIO. What’s that on your face, sir?
ALIBIUS. Where, Lollio? I see nothing.
LOLLIO. Cry you mercy, sir, ’tis your nose; it show’d like the trunk of a young elephant.
ALIBIUS. Away, rascal! I’ll prepare the music, Lollio.
Exit ALIBIUS.
LOLLIO. Do, sir, and I’ll dance the whilst. Tony, where art thou, Tony?
Enter ANTONIO.
ANTONIO. Here cousin; where art thou?
LOLLIO. Come, Tony, the footmanship I taught you.
ANTONIO. I had rather ride, cousin.
LOLLIO. Ay, a whip take you; but I’ll keep you out. Vault in; look you, Tony: fa, la la, la la.
[Dances.]
ANTONIO. Fa, la la, la la.
[Dances.]
LOLLIO. There, an honour.
ANTONIO. Is this an honour, cuz?
[Bows.]
LOLLIO. Yes, and it please your worship.
ANTONIO. Does honour bend in the hams, cuz?
LOLLIO. Marry does it; as low as worship, squireship, nay, yeomanry itself sometimes, from whence it first stiffened; there rise, a caper.
ANTONIO. Caper after an honour, cuz?
LOLLIO. Very proper; for honour is but a caper, rises as fast and high, has a knee or two, and falls to th’ground again. You can remember your figure, Tony?
Exit.
ANTONIO. Yes, cousin; when I see thy figure, I can remember mine.
Enter ISABELLA [disguised as a madwoman].
ISABELLA. Hey, how he treads the air! Shough, shough, tother way! He burns his wings else; here’s wax enough below, Icarus, more than will be cancelled these eighteen moons;
He’s down, he’s down, what a terrible fall he had!
Stand up, thou son of Cretan Dedalus,
And let us tread the lower labyrinth;
I’ll bring thee to the clue.
ANTONIO. Prithee, cuz, let me alone.
ISABELLA. Art thou not drown’d?
About thy head I saw a heap of clouds,
Wrapp’d like a Turkish turban; on thy back
A crook’d chameleon-colour’d rainbow hung
Like a tiara down unto thy hams.
Let me suck out those billows in thy belly;
Hark how they roar and rumble in the straits!
Bless thee from the pirates.
ANTONIO. Pox upon you, let me alone!
ISABELLA. Why shouldst thou mount so high as Mercury,
Unless thou hadst reversion of his place?
Stay in the moon with me, Endymion,
And we will rule these wild rebellious waves
That would have drown’d my love.
ANTONIO. I’ll kick thee if again thou touch me,
Thou wild unshapen antic; I am no fool,
You bedlam!
ISABELLA. |
But you are, as sure as I am, mad. |
Have I put on this habit of a frantic,
With love as full of fury, to beguile
The nimble eye of watchful jealousy,
And am I thus rewarded?
[Reveals herself.]
ANTONIO. Ha! Dearest beauty!
ISABELLA. |
No, I have no beauty now, |
Nor never had, but what was in my garments.
You a quick-sighted lover? Come not near me!
Keep your caparisons, y’are aptly clad;
I came a feigner to return stark mad.
Exit.
Enter LOLLIO.
ANTONIO. Stay, or I shall change condition, And become as you are.
LOLLIO. Why, Tony, whither now? Why, fool?
ANTONIO. Whose fool, usher of idiots? You coxcomb! I have fool’d too much.
LOLLIO. You were best be mad another while then.
ANTONIO. So I am, stark mad, I have cause enough;
And I could throw the full effects on thee
And beat thee like a fury!
LOLLIO. Do not, do not; I shall not forbear the gentleman under the fool, if you do; alas, I saw through your fox-skin before now. Come, I can give you comfort; my mistress loves you, and there is as arrant a madman i’ th’house as you are a fool, your rival, whom she loves not; if after the masque we can rid her of him, you earn her love, she says, and the fool shall ride her.
ANTONIO. May I believe thee?
LOLLIO. Yes, or you may choose whether you will or no.
ANTONIO. She’s eas’d of him; I have a good quarrel on’t.
LOLLIO. Well, keep your old station yet, and be quiet.
ANTONIO. Tell her I will deserve her love.
[Exit.]
LOLLIO. And you are like to have your desire.
Enter FRANCISCUS.
FRANCISCUS (sings).
‘Down, down, down a-down a-down’,
And then with a horse-trick,
To kick Latona’s forehead, and break her bowstring.
LOLLIO [aside]. This is tother counterfeit; I’ll put him out of his humour. [Takes out letter and reads.] ‘Sweet lady, having now cast this counterfeit cover of a madman, I appear to your best judgment a true and faithful lover of your beauty.’ This is pretty well for a madman.
FRANCISCUS. Ha! What’s that?
LOLLIO. ‘Chide those perfections in you, which made me imperfect.’
FRANCISCUS. I am discover’d to the fool.
LOLLIO. I hope to discover the fool in you, ere I have done with you. ‘Yours all, or one beside himself, Franciscus.’ This madman will mend sure.
FRANCISCUS. What? Do you read, sirrah?
LOLLIO. Your destiny, sir; you’ll be hang’d for this trick, and another that I know.
FRANCISCUS. Art thou of counsel with thy mistress?
LOLLIO. Next her apron strings.
FRANCISCUS. Give me thy hand.
LOLLIO. Stay, let me put yours in my pocket first. [Puts away letter.] Your hand is true, is it not? It will not pick? I partly fear it, because I think it does lie.
FRANCISCUS. Not in a syllable.
LOLLIO. So; if you love my mistress so well as you have handled the matter here, you are like to be cur’d of your madness.
FRANCISCUS. And none but she can cure it.
LOLLIO. Well, I’ll give you over then, and she shall cast your water next.
FRANCISCUS. Take for thy pains past.
[Gives him money.]
LOLLIO. I shall deserve more, sir, I hope; my mistress loves you, but must have some proof of your love to her.
FRANCISCUS. There I meet my wishes.
LOLLIO. That will not serve, you must meet her enemy and yours.
FRANCISCUS. He’s dead already!
LOLLIO. Will you tell me that, and I parted but now with him?
FRANCISCUS. Show me the man.
LOLLIO. Ay, that’s a right course now, see him before you kill him in any case, and yet it needs not go so far neither; ’tis but a fool that haunts the house and my mistress in the shape of an idiot; hang but his fool’s coat well-flavouredly, and ’tis well.
FRANCISCUS. Soundly, soundly!
LOLLIO. Only reserve him till the masque be past, and if you find him not now in the dance yourself, I’ll show you. In, in! My master!
FRANCISCUS. He handles him like a feather. Hey!
[Exit dancing.]
Enter ALIBIUS.
ALIBIUS. Well said; in a readiness, Lollio?
LOLLIO. Yes, sir.
ALIBIUS. Away then, and guide them in, Lollio;
Entreat your mistress to see this sight.
Hark, is there not one incurable fool
That might be begg’d? I have friends.
LOLLIO [within]. I have him for you, one that shall deserve it too.
[Exit LOLLIO.]
ALIBIUS. Good boy, Lollio.
[Enter ISABELLA, then LOLLIO with MADMEN and FOOLS.] The MADMEN and FOOLS dance.
‘Tis perfect; well, fit but once these strains,
We shall have coin and credit for our pains.
Exeunt.