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ON THE MORNING OF VICKI's departure, the sun came out in glorious golden rays, melting the last remnants of the snow that had dusted the trees and rooftops the night before. With glistening eyes, she turned to her friends, hugging each in turn. Make-up smeared the tear-streaked faces of Naomi's girls as each took turns hugging the baby and kissing her for good luck.
Evan stood to her side waiting to help her into the wagon. His mouth had set itself into a grim line until Vicki turned to him. She waited quietly before him for a moment, then reached her arms about his neck, pulling his face close to hers. She whispered something then kissed his cheek before releasing him.
Naomi passed the child to Evan after he'd helped Vicki into her seat. Evan held the child for a moment longer, then handed her into Vicki's arms. Vicki looked up at Lena and Jessie standing at a distance. They exchanged waves of farewell. Then with a smack of reins, the wagon started off with a lurch. Vicki grabbed the seat with her free hand, laughing as she did. The wagon wove up the hill out of town leaving those behind to make their way home at a slower pace.
Lena brushed a tear from the corner of her eye while Jessie sobbed beside her. Lena pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to the girl. Jessie blew hard.
“I'm so happy for her. And I'm so sad too! Isn't that peculiar?” Jessie managed between sobs.
“I think that's not so peculiar, Jessie. The world is full of paradoxes.” Lena watched as Evan walked away in the direction of the livery.
Jessie blew her nose again. “I wish I could understand some of those words you use, Lena. You're too smart for me.”
Lena looked over at Jessie's red nose and puffy eyes and looped her arm through the girl's. “I'm not too smart for you, Jessie. You've got smarts I could not even hope for.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You have people smarts. You understand people better than I ever could. You also have something even better. You have a giant heart of compassion. You just seem to know what to do in almost every situation.” Lena pulled on her arm, leading her back toward the house and chores they'd abandoned so that they could see Vicki off.
“But you're book smart. That's something I'll never be.” Jessie sniffed, but the spring was returning to her gait.
“Book smart doesn't mean much out here, does it?” They walked together in companionable silence, enjoying the last days of moderate temperatures, strolling like school girls.
Jessie gave Lena's arm a little shake. “Did you know that Evan paid for Vicki's trip home? I heard one of the ladies mention it. I think that just proves what Daniel was sayin'. Well, maybe I wouldn't say he was weird, but he is different. I know you don't want me to be a match maker, but you two should get together. I just think you were meant for each other. You're both book smart and kind.” Jessie looked over at Lena. “Are you listening to me?”
“I heard you, Jessie. But you're wrong about Mr. Hartmann and me. I think you have read his kindness toward me as something more than it is. As you said, he is a thoughtful person.”
“Maybe you aren't so smart after all!” Jessie tugged at Lena's arm, then poked a finger in her ribs, forcing Lena into a smile.
As they passed the livery, she couldn't keep from stealing a glance through the open doors. Evan stood just inside, stroking Gambit's nose, appearing to be engaged in conversation with the stallion. She forced herself to look away. What was the word she'd thrown at Jessie? Paradox. Yes, Evan's character was paradoxical to her. How could a man of such obvious compassion turn his back on his responsibility to care for his own child? It just didn't make sense. There had to be another explanation. There had to be. But what were the odds of two people having such astonishingly unique eye color?
“Come on! We've got work to do.” Lena picked up their pace, hurrying them past the livery and back up the hill.
After a full day of working at his claim and coming home with little to show for his efforts, Evan walked up the porch steps with slow weary steps.
“You look exhausted, my friend.”
Evan looked in the direction of the voice, seeing Ely sitting on the front porch bench, a cloud of smoke drifting about his head.
“Ely, never knew you to be a man to smoke.” Evan shuffled over and sat beside him, groaning as he took a seat.
“Oh, I enjoy my pipe from time to time. Usually when I have things whirling around in my brain that will not settle right.”
Evan chuckled softly. “Had a few of those times myself.”
With light quickly fading from the fall sky, the temperatures plunged. But neither man seemed eager to leave the comfort of the porch and the view of the mountains.
“So what unsettles your brain, my young friend?” Ely asked.
Evan didn't answer right away. It wasn't his way. “Tough time for folks.”
“Ja, surely is that.” Ely sucked on his pipe and blew out one perfect ring. “Now, I know it is not my business,” he paused to blow out another ring, “but it is troubling to me, so I speak of it.”
Evan looked at Ely with an even gaze. “I'll help if I can.”
“I hope you can. It is just this. I have noticed that you and Lena are not as friendly these days as you once were.”
Evan pulled a hand across his face. “What am I to say?”
Ely shook his head slowly, puffing quietly on his pipe. “I am sorry. It is none of my business. You do not wish to talk of it. I understand.”
“We're not unfriendly.”
“No, I have poked my large nose in where it should not be,” Ely wagged his head.
“She is a fine woman.”
“Ja, she is, very fine.”
“She's smart.”
“Ja, very smart, well-educated too, I think.”
“Yes.”
“And very kind.”
“Yes, kind,” Evan said, an echo.
“Ja. She is an attractive woman too,” Ely said. Evan felt Ely's eyes upon him.
“Yes, she is.”
“Ja, and she is opinionated.”
“Very,” Evan said through thin lips.
“Ja, opinionated, like others I know.” Ely took in three quick puffs.
Evan turned a narrow-eyed gaze at him. “Are you trying to say something?”
“Ja, maybe.” Ely rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“Ely, you don't understand. She has a very bad opinion of me.”
“And you know this?”
“She hasn't said anything, but . . .”
“You have made a reasoned assumption,” Ely agreed.
“Yes, a reasoned assumption,” Evan parroted again.
For several moments only the sound of Ely drawing on his pipe broke the late afternoon silence.
“I think she has assumed that I am the father of Vicki's child.” Evan sighed and slumped back against the chair.
Ely pulled the pipe from his mouth and turned to face Evan. “Have you corrected this assumption?”
Evan stroked his hands down his pant legs. “No.”
Ely said nothing.
“If she judges my actions without knowing the truth, I don't think she is the kind of woman I would want to know better.” Evan met Ely's eyes, then looked quickly away. “Am I wrong?”
“Die welt befindet sich in einem Chaos,” Ely said.
Evan looked at him, confused. “Sorry?”
“This is the fault of the world, ja. People rush to judgments. People become angry. People war.” Ely sighed heavily, dropping his hand holding the pipe to his lap. “It is none of my business, but I think you make a big mistake not to talk to this woman and tell her the truth. You did a very fine thing, Evan Hartmann. Our friend, Lena, deserves to know that truth.”
Evan sat back again, feeling an inexplicable tightness in his chest.
Ely brought the pipe back to tuck securely between his lips, a frown deepened the wrinkles on his brow. “There is one more thing that I will say.”
Evan wasn’t certain he wanted to hear anymore advice, even from his friend, but he met Ely’s dark eyes, waiting.
“You are very good at thinking of others.” Ely took a long drag on his pipe, his eyes closing for a moment. “Perhaps, you need to think more of yourself. How many months has it been since your brother died? Five? Six?”
“Seven.” Evan felt his throat constrict in that uncomfortable manner he’d grown to expect with memories of Jimmy.
“I must wonder if you have made any plans for your own future. I think we both know that this place is dying. Dreams die too. New dreams come to take their place, sometimes better ones, ja? Have you allowed yourself to dream again, my friend?”
Evan felt his face tense, his hands already clenched in his lap.
Ely broke the awkward silence, setting down his pipe. “Ah, but it is not my business.” He reached over, patting Evan's leg as if he were a child to be comforted. “I am sure you will work this out, ja?” Without further words, he rose and left Evan there.
A moment or two passed before Evan laughed aloud, the heartiest laugh that had come from him in a very long while. He felt good, the way he did after a discussion with his father as a youth, cleansed and set back on course by a good scolding.
Lena resumed her seat by the fire that night, but Evan lingered near the back of the room. It was as if they'd regressed to when they'd first all come together.
Lena noticed that Jessie seemed agitated, fidgeting with her blouse and winding strands of her hair around her finger, while Bart, sitting beside her also looked somewhat uneasy. Lena lifted the book from her lap. Locating her place, she began. She'd only been reading for a short time. The line from the book read simply, “'Certainly,' quoth Athelstane, 'women are the least to be trusted of all animals, monks and abbots excepted.'“
“Don't you dare look at me like that, Bart! I didn't mislead you! And yes, I'll marry you, right now if you want!”
All eyes turned to Jessie as she stood red-faced, yelling at Bart.
Bart waited for a heartbeat as he seemed to take in the words. Then he leaped to his feet and threw his arms around Jessie, lifting her off her feet as he did. “You will?” He turned to look at those around him. “You heard her! She said she will!”
Carrick was first to launch from his chair and slap Bart on the back. “Congratulations!”
Donal flanked Bart, planting a second resounding slap on his back. “Took you long enough to make up your minds.”
Lena wrapped her arm around Jessie. “You kept that decision pretty quiet.”
Jessie lowered her gaze, suddenly and uncharacteristically shy. “Well, we've had to make a change in our original plans. Bart thought we'd be settling here for a while, but the mines . . .” She looked up at Lena with a painful expression. “I'm so sorry.”
Lena turned to face the girl, her hands resting on Jessie's shoulders. “Why? Why would you apologize? You're getting married!”
“But we'll be leaving . . . leaving here and you. I hate leaving you alone and I don't want to say goodbye to you.” Tears welled up in Jessie's eyes. “You've been like a sister to me. At least I think you have. I never had one, but you're what I'd imagine my sister to be like.”
Lena drew the girl into her arms. “I know exactly what you mean. You've been the same for me. I can't imagine these past few weeks without your bright smile and that wonderful laugh.” The words made the truth suddenly clear and tears sprung to the corners of her eyes at the thought of losing Jessie's sweet encouragement every day. She hadn't realized how much she'd come to depend on the girl.
Evan reached for Bart's hand and shook it gravely. “I want to wish you and Jessie the best.”
Bart's face was suddenly somber. “Guess we might as well tell you the rest of our plans then. Maybe you all should take a seat.”
Jessie slipped from Lena's embrace and sidled up to Bart, slipping her hand in his.
“Well, the mining folks up at the office don't seem to be able to make up their minds about what they want to do with this mine we've all been workin'. So we decided it might be the best to head out of the Sawtooths now before the heavy snows and get on down to Ketchum or Hailey where I can find work.”
Jessie broke in, “Then after a year or so, once we have a bit of cash, we'll cross on over to Oregon.”
“My brother has a bit of land there and has been after me to come out and help him work it.”
“They've been building a new house for their growing family, and they want us to move into the smaller one they built when they first settled there.” She squeezed Bart's arm. “We'll have a house of our own, just like we dreamed.”
Ely voiced the sentiment they all felt when he said, “Ja, and we will miss you two. Won't be the same. And who will you have perform the ceremony? The preacher left this summer.”
Jessie skipped to Ely's side and hugged his arm. “Why you, of course!”
“Me?” Ely chirped.
“Yes, you talk pretty and you are by far the wisest of us all. That makes you a good stand-in for a preacher.”
Evan asked the next logical question, “And when will this wedding be?”
Bart grinned. “This weekend.”
“Two days,” Lena said, her voice soft. “Not much time to prepare.”
Bart nodded and said, “We can't waste any time. Want to be heading out with two other families leaving next week. Feel we'll be better off traveling with folks, in case the weather turns bad, you know?”
“I suppose we could've waited to get married in Hailey by a real preacher, but who would we invite? We want you all to be with us when we stand up.” Jessie, face aglow, looked around her at the friends she'd made. “Besides, I might need someone around to hold me up so I can stand up.”
As the laughter died away, a deeper realization settled on Lena. They weren't just moving out of the house; they were leaving the valley completely. She turned to the kitchen, hiding her expression from the happy couple. “I think I should make us all a pot of cocoa. This is cause for celebration.” Her words did not match her tone, but she hoped no one detected the disparity.
Alone in the kitchen she gripped the edge of the sink to steady herself. If only she'd had some warning. Why was she so blind these days, failing to see the obvious truths around her? She pulled herself erect again and rummaged through the cupboard for the can of cocoa. Where was it? She felt a sudden flash of anger. “Where is it!”
“I think I saw Jessie put it in the cupboard over there.” Lena spun at the sound of Ely's voice. He was pointing to the other side of the room. “Over there,” he said again.
She took a sharp breath and walked quickly to the cupboard. It was there as he'd said. With shaking hands, she pulled it from the shelf and returned to the work counter, working quickly now, afraid to stop and allow her mind to dwell upon anything other than her task.
Ely began to take cups from the shelf, placing them near the stove. He watched her silently then said, “You are sad, ja? It is all right to be sad.”
Lena measured the sugar into the pot. She reached for a measuring scoop and dropped it.
Ely retrieved it before she could stoop to pick it up. She met his eyes, seeing there the compassion she didn't wish to receive in that moment. “Thank you,” she said tersely.
Ely took her hand. “Why are you afraid to let your emotions show? You are a woman. You are allowed.”
She pulled her hand free. “I am sad. Yes. I will miss her. Yes.” Her voice faltered. “I am angry too.” She turned back to the counter, dumping great scoops of cocoa into the pan.
“Angry?”
She spun on him again. “Angry! Ja!” To stop her trembling hands from showing, she shoved them into her pockets.
“You are angry at Jessie?”
“No!” She said it louder than she intended. “Of course, not!”
“Then who are you angry with?” Ely pressed.
“I don't know—God, maybe?” She covered her face with her hands, feeling the hot sting of tears against her palms.
Ely sat before her, looking up into her covered face. “It is none of my business, I think. But I will stick my large nose where perhaps it is not wished.”
She turned from him, stirring the pot, attempting to quiet her emotions.
“Does this have anything to do with our friend, Evan?”
She stopped stirring, feeling her shoulders tense. “Why would you think that?”
“I have watched you grow cold toward him these past few days. It is clear that you are not pleased with him.”
Hands clenched, she turned on him again, her eyes clouded by unshed tears. “You're right, Ely! This is none of your business!”
Ely stayed seated for a moment longer, then slowly rose to his feet. “Ja, you are right, Lena. I told you that I thought as much. Please forgive an old man.” He started for the door.
“No! Wait!” Lena rushed up behind him clutching at his jacket sleeve.
He turned, his face calm and soft, lined by his years. There was no judgment in his eyes, not even an indication of offense. “I wait, Lena.”
“I'm sorry, Ely, truly sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you just want to help, but you can't. This isn't something a soothing tune can resolve. I . . .” She looked at the floor, struggling for words without exposing her heartache, her unreasonable heartache. She felt so abandoned.
“But Lena, perhaps I can.”
She shook her head, looking up at him with a small sad smile. “I don't think so.”
He watched her for a long moment, then held his hand out to her. In her remorseful state, she took it. “May I tell you a story?”
She cast her gaze to the stove. “Well, I think . . .”
“It will be short. I promise.”
“All right.” She sat on the long dining bench and Ely shuffled to her side to sit next to her.
“In the old country, my home, I had a dear, dear friend. From childhood, he was my best friend. We were both musicians, violinists. We shared a room. We were both very poor. Everyone was. It was springtime. I remember the lilacs in bloom outside our window. A letter came from my aunt, my mother's sister-in-law. It was an answer to prayer.” He leaned close, whispering. “It contained a good deal of money that would pay for many months of rent. My uncle had sold an instrument belonging to my mother, you see. And because she had passed on, he sent it to me! Wonderful, ja?”
Lena nodded once, wondering at the story's relevance.
He smiled. “I showed it to my friend, Edward. He was excited too, and we decided to go out and celebrate our good fortune. Oh, and we did! Then we came home, and I put the envelope of money on the table near the one comfortable chair in our little room. The next day when I went to take some money from the envelope to pay our landlady the rent, what do you think?” He waited a half minute, then answered his own question, “I will tell you. The envelope was gone, just vanished.”
“Oh no.”
“Oh, ja!” His countenance fell. He drummed his fingers on his knee for a moment. “This is the sad part of the story, Lena. I thought my friend had stolen the money. I knew he played a violin that was not his. He was making payments on it, you see. I thought that he had used the money to pay off his violin debt. I even accused him to his face of this awful thing.”
“And did he?”
Ely's face fell even farther. His eyes dimmed briefly. “No, Lena, he did not. But because I assumed the wrong thing about my friend, our relationship, which had been so dear, was broken.”
“How do you know he didn't take the money?”
“He told me he did not.”
“But he might have been lying to you.”
“But my friend had never lied to me in all the years we had been friends, not once. I should have known he did not lie to me then. But I was angry, oh, so very angry. I assumed the worst.”
“Still, you don't know that he didn't take the money,” Lena insisted.
“I do. I do know. I stayed in that little room by myself for two more years, two lonely years. It was not until I was moving all my items to another house that I learned the truth that makes my story such a sad one.”
“And what was that?”
“I was not a very good housekeeper. You may not choose to believe that now, seeing how fastidious I am. But as I was moving my comfortable chair, what do you think? An envelope fell out from beneath the cushion. It was the envelope, the one I accused my dear friend of stealing. And sadder yet, I never saw my friend again, so I could never tell him how sorry I was for not believing him.”
Lena touched his arm. “Oh, Ely.” She sat back studying him for a moment. “But what does that have to do with me?”
“Lena, I think you have assumed wrong things about our friend, Evan Hartmann.”
Lena pulled back.
“Wait, please, and let me finish.” Ely lay a restraining hand on her arm, imploring her with his earnest eyes. “Did you ever think of any other explanations for Evan's kindness to the young woman, Vicki?”
“Ely, I really don't . . .” Ely closed his eyes but kept his hand on her arm, keeping her from rising to her feet.
“You knew that Evan had a brother, ja?”
She didn't respond to his question, but her shock must have been obvious. “A brother?”
“He was killed last spring. It was an avalanche, a terrible thing. Jimmy's body was only found this summer when the snows melted. Evan changed after that. He became more solitary, spending more time at their claim.”
Questions and answers pressed in from all sides. Lena felt the breath pushed from her lungs.
“He is changing again, Lena. You've done that. You've changed him.” Ely squeezed her hand.
Lena met his eyes, seeing him indistinctly through a veil of unspilled tears.
“Have you ever considered that it is Evan's nature to help those who need it?”
She found her voice, but it sounded strange to her ears, small, as though from far away. “Yes”
“Did you ever consider Jimmy and if he knew Vicki? He did, Lena. He knew her very well.”
She sagged. Her mouth went dry. Her stomach tightened. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. She couldn't meet Ely's steady gaze any longer, so she looked away before asking, “And were his brother's eyes green like Evan's?”
“Ja.” He released his hold on her arm and she stood, hitting the table with her thigh, causing the mugs to rock. Walking stiffly to the sink, she felt her stomach rolling, wanting to be sick.
“Sometimes things are not what they appear,” Ely said quietly.
“I never thought . . .I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. I judged him even when I knew him to be . . .” She turned to look at Ely, hot tears searing her cheeks. “Oh Ely, I really am no better than those women at the shop who judged Vicki. I'm such a hypocrite!” Her temples throbbed. She pressed her palms to the side of her head.
Ely pulled her hand away, holding it between his delicate artist's hands. “We all are, Lena. We all do these things, but there is yet time for you to take back your cold anger and replace it with the warmth you once showed him. He needs it.”
She shook her head. “But Ely, what could I possibly say?”
“You will know. But you must say something before it is too late and your friendship cannot be mended. Do not make my mistake.”
Jessie burst through the door, all brightness and joy. “Can I help?”
Lena brushed at her tears with the back of her hand and managed a strained smile. “Of course you can. I've probably burned the cocoa.”
