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IT WAS TIME FOR THE ball. My mother had helped me dress, cloaking my newly clean body in a gorgeous red velvet dress. I had not worn nice clothing since the dress Delano had given me to wear in the Pixie Castle. This was so much better. The green pixie silk had been uncomfortable – the fabric had tightened around my hips, my waist, my breasts in such a way as I no longer looked like myself; I was no longer in control of the way I looked. This fairy velvet was enchanted, too, but in a different way. The fabric contorted to fit me, but instead of forcing me into the hour-glass figure of the silk pixie gown, this red enhanced my natural look.
“Just like your mother,” said my mother, brushing my hair and braiding it. She looked beautiful too, and so much younger than I was used to seeing her. Before this I had always thought of Raine Farrell as my mother, nothing more. But hearing about my father, about her love for him and the difficult choices that she had to make in the end, I began to feel that she was a woman, too – just like me. She knew what I was going through.
“Makeup?” said my mother, as I eyed the pots of paint and ointments that had been left on the vanity. “You – Bree?”
I blushed.
“You're beautiful just the way you are.”
“But Shasta will be there...” I couldn't help but turn even redder. “And I don't want to look...” I didn't even know how to find the words. “Plain, I guess.”
My mother smiled at me. “No daughter of mine could ever be plain. Besides – it's a masquerade. Nobody will even see your face.”
She handed me a mask of red satin, adorned with delicate lace. I put it on, and watched my mother put on hers – colored gold and silver.
“Soon we'll be going home,” she said, sighing happily. “And then you'll be free!”
“I don't know how I feel about that,” I said. I couldn't lie to my mother, not even about this. “Feyland is...such a place.”
“I know what you mean,” said my mother. “I miss it sometimes, too. It's like nowhere else on this earth. And when I paint, I always remember what Fairyland looked like, and I try to capture it on canvas. But it's never the same...”
It was now sunset, and time for the ball to begin. The bells – tinkling silver bells – began ringing to alert us to all file down into the grand ante-chamber, from which we would enter the ballroom. My mother squeezed my hand and we walked down together.
The room was splendid. The walls were carved out of glittering ice, reflecting the dancers back in gorgeous shimmers. But magic had been applied to the room – it didn't feel cold at all – but rather as cozy and comfortable as an autumn breeze. Silver candelabras hung from the ceiling, and a gorgeous silvery moon-like orb hung above us, from which all kinds of glittering light were emanating. I gasped in amazement.
“It's splendid,” said my mother. “The Winter Court is truly an amazing place.”
The dancers were outfitted in a rainbow of colors, gliding in circles and swirls around the shining floor. My feet began tingling; how I wanted to dance! To join in! I knew that going home to Gregory, Oregon, was the right decision, but as I watched the Fairy dancers I knew that Feyland would always be a part of me, that I never wanted to let go of. These were my people; fairy lore and fairy magic was in my blood, more than it ever would be or could have been for my mother. Leaving Feyland would be hard. I swallowed back the tears circling at the corners of my eyes.
“Will you let me have this dance?” said a voice behind me, as a familiar note began to strike up from the orchestra. I turned around. His mask covered his face, but the shining of his eyes gave it all away. I recognized his beautiful, piercing gaze – the eyes that were as blue as the morning after a storm – and I felt his looks bore through me. And then I knew there was nothing for me to do but to say yes to Kian, to give him my hand and let him kiss the tips of my fingers and my knuckles, and then as the Fairy Waltz – that same beloved song we had danced to so often as children – played around us, swelling with emotion and magic, we had to dance with it, echoing the steps that, it had once been foretold, would be playing at our wedding.
I held him tighter; I felt his arms tighten around me. He didn't feel like Logan – strong and rough, warm and all-encompassing. Rather, Kian's touch was softer, gentler. And then I could not remember Logan's touch, or indeed Logan at all, because as we danced I could feel Kian's lips come closer to mine.
How could I go home to Gregory, I wondered – when my life was here? My love was here? I was trying so hard to make everything go back to normal – to make up for what happened with Logan, to assuage my guilt at nearly getting him killed, to return to the days of Gregory when I was safe and Logan and I would go walking in the woods – that I had ignored my true feelings, my desire to stay in fairyland. I wanted to stay in this world – a place of such beauty, such magic, a place where a fairy prince with eyes like the sea after a storm could take me in his arms for a dance, and I could feel his breath upon my lips as I struggled against myself not to kiss him.
I had thought I would never see him again. Since my time at the Summer Court, I had ignored my feelings, swallowed them back. The Summer Queen had convinced me that Kian and I could never be together – there was too much in the way, too much politics, too much bloodshed, too much hatred between our kingdoms. And yet, with him cradling me in his arms, I felt that our love could outlast and outshine and overcome all of this hatred. I knew then that I loved him, that I could never be happy with anyone else, that I had to stay forever in Feyland, to dance forever with my fairy prince.
I didn't want to wait for him to realize how I felt. I didn't want anyone else taking control – not Delano, not the Winter Queen or the Summer Queen, not Logan – I wanted him to know how much I loved him.
“Come with me,” I said, as the dance trickled into silence. “I want to talk to you.” I took his hand and led him to a corner of the nearby corridor where we could not be observed.
“Bree...”
I wouldn't let him finish. I took him in my arms and kissed him, fully, on the mouth. Once again I felt the shocks of magic tremble through us – as strong as it had been the first time – maybe stronger, for now I was even surer of my feelings for him.
“Bree,” he said again, his voice swelling with joy. He held my hands tighter.
“Listen,” I said. “I don't know what's going to happen...”
“I've missed you so much,” he said. “My mother knows – she disapproves. She knows you can't stay in Feyland – not with the Summer Queen's banishment still holding...she wants to protect us...with you so far away...” His voice trailed off. His pain was too great for him to bear.
“But it didn't change how I felt. I don't care what the Summer Queen has to say! I want you here, Bree, with me.”
“I can't stay in the Winter Kingdom,” I said, miserably. As long as I was a royal member of the Summer Court, the political cost would be dire. The people of both courts would never stand for it.
“And I can't stay with the Summer Court, either,” I said, my voice filled with darkness. “They won't let me. I tried! But the Summer Queen's anger with my family is still strong. She respects me – maybe – because I respected her – but she won't let me stay. She was willing to let me live just because she knew I'd go off and leave her alone. But if I stayed...”
“Can't you find a way?” cried Kian.
I shook my head. “There's nothing I can do.” I wished more than anything that there was another way. “I don't know what to do.”
“Go back with your mother, I suppose,” said Kian, with some anger in his voice. “To Gregory, Oregon. Along with Logan.”
I could hear the jealousy sting in his voice, and it was the most horrible sound in the world.