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I sat up sharply, the harsh glare of dawn striking my eyes like lightning. I could feel my whole body shaking, my teeth chattering as if I had just been submerged in a pool of frozen water. The dream again.
It had come to me almost every night in the week since I had been crowned Queen. Sleep was supposed to be my refuge – the only time when I was free of the watchful eyes of Wort and the other advisers of the old Queen, whose purposes I was not yet sure of, but whom I decidedly did not trust. Sleep was the only time I was free – when they were not watching me, judging me, waiting for me to make a false move. And yet I dreaded falling asleep, for my dreams were the most dangerous time of all. In dreams I met Kian again, but he was not the Kian I knew, the Kian I had loved. He was my enemy. Tonight I had dreamed that he had killed me, and it was I who had shattered into dust; sometimes it was the other way around. Either way, the promise of my dreams was sure. Kian and I were enemies. I could feel my love for him when I woke, but at night I felt only fear, fear that our love would be impossible.
I heard a knock at the door. “Come in!” I called, but before I could finish my sentence Wort strode in, followed by a demure-looking handmaiden who kept her eyes fixed firmly on the floor. In her hands was a blue bowl, emitting the familiar smell of kelpie soup. As a baby, I knew, I had repelled one of these creatures; as an adult, I feasted on them – making use of the restorative and relaxing powers the kelpies were rumored to possess.
“Kelpie will put your mind at rest, my Queen,” said Wort. He came over to me and patted my hand; his skin felt like ice. “After all, you have had quite a shock...your coronation was so unexpected...” He dipped the spoon into the soup and brought it towards my lips.
“No,” I whispered. I still didn't trust Wort, and I wasn't going to allow him to feed me behind closed doors, where there was no witness to any potential crime.
“Come now, Your Highness,” said Wort. “You must be clear-headed and strong in order to rule as Queen.”
“I was clear-headed and strong enough a week ago,” I said, turning up my nose at the smell of the broth.
“But all Summer Queens drink kelpie soup,” said Wort. “It will regenerate your powers, allow you to regenerate. All royal fairies in all the kingdoms drink it.” Wort did his best to smile a reassuring smile, which only made him look more like a toad than ever. “You haven't had any soup for two days.”
“Daisy, give her the soup!” Wort shouted. This was not the handmaiden I recognized – what had happened to the old one? Daisy seemed bright and cheerful enough, but her eyes had a distinct dullness to them. “Actually – come here. Open your mouth.”
Daisy did as she was told and swallowed down a spoonful of soup. She grimaced.
“That wasn't so bad, was it, Daisy?”
“A bit bitter,” Daisy began chattering. “Though the aftertaste wasn't so bad. Ask me, I'll tell you to add a bit of honey and maybe some coriander – or a spring or two of rosemary...”
“That's enough, Daisy.” Wort rolled his eyes. “The point is, you're still breathing, aren't you?”
“I suppose so, sir,” Daisy looked confused.
“Well, if Daisy says it's good.” I reached for the spoon, but couldn't stop myself from adding. “But next time put in a spoonful of honey and a dash of coriander. And maybe two springs of rosemary.” I winked at Daisy.
Daisy grinned behind me as I swallowed down the soup. It was all I could do not to make a face, too. No amount of honey could disguise the bitter taste of kelpie.
“I'll leave the woman to dress you,” said Wort on his way out.
“Let's get you dressed, then, Highness,” said Daisy. “I've got a gorgeous silk dress you should try – all the way from the Autumn Court! Red and orange silk!” She presented it, and I gasped at the way the silk fluttered so lightly in the gentle breeze. Like a brilliant flame, the dress lit up the room, bringing out the natural copper highlights in my hair. No doubt it was a beautiful dress fit for royalty, but I had something else in mind.
“The Summer Knight Rodney. Does he have any armor he left behind?”
“Of course he does!”
“I want to wear that. You can will it to resize, if you think it would be too big.”
Daisy's eyes grew big. “But you're a Queen!” she protested. “You have to wear something befitting a Queen – Wort said...”
“I'm afraid I don't care what Wort said,” I replied. “I am my father's daughter – and as long as necessary I will take over his duties in the Summer Court. Including going out and meeting my subjects.”
Daisy’s eyes widen. “The last queen did not even bother visiting her own homeland once she became Queen...”
I smiled. “Perhaps the last queen did not care to as she was content waging war from the safety of the palace. I am the new queen here, and I am not nor will I ever be like the old queen.”
Daisy immediately cast her eyes down and knelt on the ground bowing down. “I’m sorry to have offended you, my Queen.”
“No offense taken,” I said. I saw the girl breathe out a sigh of relief. “Daisy, I would like to know, however, how you came to be here. You are from the Autumn lands, right?”
Daisy looked up and nodded. “We followed Redleaf, Princess of the Autumn Kingdom, here for her marriage to the Summer King. It was part of the treaty.”
I nodded. I knew about the Autumn lands being merged into Summer’s sovereignty. My father Foxflame had told me about it when he explained how he had to marry his brother’s fiancé Redleaf to assure peace between the Summer and Autumn Courts. Foxflame and my mother were already in love and together when Foxflame became the Crowned Prince upon his brother’s death. With his marriage to Redleaf, the Summer and Autumn Courts merged.
“Tell me,” I asked Daisy. “Do you like it here?”
“Oh, well, there is plenty to do around the palace, and I’m kept busy...”
“I mean, do you like being here in the Summer Court, the Summer lands?”
“Yes,” Daisy said. “Here we have food; there is plenty of harvest and sun. In Autumn, many of our people faced starvation.”
“So for the most part, most of the Autumn denizens were grateful to be part of Summer?”
“I believe so. For me, yes,” Daisy said frankly.
“That is good to hear.” I patted Daisy’s hand in a gesture of sympathy. “I’m sure the death of Queen Redleaf shocked many.”
“She was one of us, an Autumn denizen, the last of the royal Autumn fairies,” Daisy said. “There were those who had hoped to resurrect the Autumn kingdom, but many who are grateful we are part of Summer rather than Winter.”
I had to smile. At least the myth of how vicious and cruel the Winter Queen was would keep the Autumn denizens in Summer loyal. I wanted to see what my denizens thought of the new Summer Queen.
“Get me Rodney’s armor, Daisy. I must leave when there is enough sun.”
“Nobody will believe you're a royal in a knight's garb, Your Highness,” said Daisy.
“That's the idea,” I said. “If I'm going to rule this kingdom, I want to know about it. I don't want people to tell me what I want to hear – not like the last Queen, who would have cut off their heads for disagreeing with them. I want to know the truth.” If I was to be Queen, I reasoned, I was going to be a good one. I was sixteen years old and had learned the truth about my identity a matter of months ago. I had a lot of catching up to do. And I was finding out that nothing was at all like it seemed.
In a few minutes I had donned the silver armor of a fairy knight and mounted my horse, the slight tightness at my breastplate the only hint of my gender. I kicked my stirrups in and began riding – the path out of the castle taking me through the palace gardens. I remembered the first time I entered Feyland, how beautiful it had seemed to me then. It had been terrifying, yet its strangeness had given it a fairy beauty. I had dreamed about it so many times that the place had felt familiar from the moment I entered, but so strange was that familiarity that it felt I hadn't known the place at all. I had been terrified of the denizens of Feyland – the monsters and Pixies and fairies who lived there. Now this place was my home, and the few creatures that frightened me were now my neighbors – to be lived alongside, to be reckoned with. They still frightened me, and I didn't understand them – and yet I knew that I must. I was responsible for their lives, for their care. I was responsible for keeping them safe from the Pixie invasions, and from the collateral damage from the war with the Winter Court. I was responsible for their health, their happiness.
My father had cared for these creatures so much that he had left behind the beauty and splendor of the Summer Palace, and spent months at a time in disguise as a lowly knight, roaming his kingdom and learning about what his subjects really needed. Now it was my turn to do the same. But I knew I would miss the Summer Palace. Although my incarceration there had been terrifying, and Wort and his minions still made me feel unsafe and unwelcome at every turn, I knew deep down that I belonged there. I had been dreaming of the glamour and shimmer of the ballroom since I was a little girl, long before I even knew what fairies were. I would miss it, for it already felt like home. I would miss the satin sheets and the smell of oranges floating in from the garden, would miss the exquisite marble statues in the front hall and the glimmering of gemstones from the throne room. Since I had been crowned Summer Queen, it seemed that the palace had begun to gleam more brightly than before, as if the sun itself and all the essence of summer had descended upon the court. I knew that the Court under the reign of the old queen had been a hard and dangerous place, but when my father and I had returned home together it had seemed, however briefly, that a new hope had dawned for the court. I had the power to bring it to its former glory – the glory that I had dreamed about as a child that I remembered from my infancy. I could bring peace and prosperity to the kingdom, and end the old queen's reign of tyranny and fear.
My heart ached as I left the Summer Palace behind. Would I return to it victorious, ready to be a queen once more? Or would I return to find danger and treachery lurking around every corner, behind every column? If I was to be safe, I knew, I had to win over the hearts and minds of the people – for if I were loved by them Wort would never dare to have me assassinated or incarcerated. I needed the fairies as much as they needed me.
We rode onwards, my horse and I.
As we rode, I saw forests so green that they looked like the far end of the ocean, and rivers that bubbled and shone like diamonds. I saw plains of long, tall grass and whistling meadows made alive by crickets. It was as if I were seeing Feyland for the first time – all its beauty coming alive within my eyes, new and glorious. This was the fairyland I had dreamed of – but it was more than that.
I was the Queen of this entire kingdom.
This was my country.
This was my kingdom.