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I hadn't been able to communicate with Kian since that last, horrible night, when he had been taken from me and forced into the prisons of Autumn. I had called him many times, sometimes even murmuring out to him telepathically in my sleep, but always I had received no answer. I imagined that the magic in the Autumn prison was strong enough to prevent Kian from sending me messages. As Logan and I prepared to depart for the border, I thought back to the hazy memories I had of our earlier connections, the images that Kian had sent me through our connection of the prison – what he could see, what was around him. I racked my brain, but the images, as uncertain as they were, were entirely unhelpful. I couldn't remember ever having seen a clearing like that – a tree like that – a river like that. I sighed. Even if I managed to elude the guards of my own Court and the soldiers of Winter, I still had no idea where Kian was, only that the prison was in Autumn.
“How big is Autumn, anyway?” I asked Logan.
He shrugged. “Pretty big. Bigger than Summer.”
I didn't know how much time Kian had left. Would we finally find the tower – only for it to be late? I sighed and tried to push the image out of my mind.
Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice reverberating in my brain.
Breena?
It was Kian! My heart leaped as I heard his voice – faint but still so strong – whispering at the very depths of my soul.
Breena, where are you?
I'm coming for you, Kian. I promise. I'm coming to find you. You need to tell me where you are.
I've been trying to get through to you every day...
Where are you? I wanted to know as badly as he did how we had managed to communicate, longed to speak to him and whisper words of love, but now I had time only to implore him to tell me where he was. The connection could be cut off at any moment, and I couldn't risk losing his location.
I'm not sure, Breena.
Is there a window? Look out – tell me what you see. “Logan!” my human voice sounded strange to me now. “Listen – I've got his location. There – Kian's telling me...”
Logan stiffened, but he stood close to me, nodded.
There are three mountains – three next to each other.
“Three mountains...” I said aloud.
And between the left mountain and the middle one there's this river – or stream – something...I don't know...I hear the sound of rushing water.
“There's a river nearby – running through two of the mountains.”
I think I'm facing east – I've seen the dawn before.
“Facing east.”
Can you see any other towers around you?
A village – at the top of the mountain. I don't know what it's called. I don't know where it is.
“There's a village – a village at the top of the mountain! Logan!”
“I got it!” Logan grimaced.
There looking for you, Breena. I heard the guards, heard them talking. Wort and his advisers have started the search for you – your whole Court is looking.
I'll have to hurry. I tried to concentrate harder, sending all my thoughts, my desire, my love straight into Kian's mind. We have to hurry before they find me. My love was strong, filled with the overflowing passion I had tried so hard to put out of my mind. I could see Kian receiving my love reeling back from the force of my desires, as if he had just been struck. He put a hand against the cold stone wall to steady himself, and I could feel the damp against my own palms. I love you, Kian. I imagined kissing him – imagined out lips touching.
I could feel that he felt it.
I love you, Breena. War or no war, you will and always will be my Queen.
I felt the emotions overtake me, turning my limbs into water. I felt as if Kian had wrapped his whole being around me, so tightly, hugging me tightly with the ends of his soul. I could feel my heart beating quicker, my breath growing shorter as I sighed.
“Breena!”
My eyes shot open. Logan was preparing my horse, fixing the saddle into place.
“You okay, Breena? You kind of spaced out there for a moment.”
My face, hot with embarrassment, gave it away. “Uh, sorry,” I muttered, looking down. Logan could see right through me – and the knowledge of this filled my cheeks with fire.
“Listen,” said Logan, not looking at me. “If you want to rescue your lover, then we have to get going now. I think I know the village he's talking about – there's a village called Birds Pass up by the Sandstone Mountains, with a river. I think it might be the one. It' about a day's ride away – but I've heard this horse here is the fastest breed in Feyland. Maybe we can do it in half the time.” His face softened as he extended a hand to me to help me up.
I took his hand, and before I was aware of what was happening I found myself in Logan's arms, lifted up into the air. His grip tightened around me, warm and soft and strong, as he helped me into place, settling me down on the horse. As he sat before me, his legs straddling the horse's back, he did not move his arms away. He remained there, with his arms tight around my waist. Even now I couldn't resist breathing in his scent, lowering my gaze at the pure, heated intensity of his eyes. For a moment, I thought – with something between fear and anticipation – that he was going to try to kiss me – his lips were only centimeters away from mine. Before I could protest, Logan turned away, his gaze lingering a moment longer on my lips.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness Logan hadn't tried, I thought to myself – the last thing I needed was another awkward situation. I needed to focus on Kian right now. And yet I couldn't deny that my heart was beating faster still, and it took me a few moments of riding before I caught my breath.
“Put your hands around my waist,” Logan said hoarsely. “Hold on.”
I did so, feeling his muscles taut beneath my grip.
I was glad he hadn't tried to kiss me. It made things easier. And yet somewhere, in a deep, dark part of myself between knowledge and desire, I felt disappointed that he hadn't. Get yourself together, Breena. I shook myself out of it. I had to keep Logan as a friend, and that meant not leading him on.
Logan jerked at the reins and gave a swift kick, and soon we were riding into the verdant brightness of the forest. The scenery was beautiful, here – breathtakingly colorful vines and fruit trees, scented with apples and oranges and all the fruits of the forest that have no name in the mortal world, but are known in the fairy language only. I gasped as we continued onwards. I had seen the beauty of Feyland many times, but somehow it never had seemed as beautiful to me as it did right that second.
Logan heard my sharp intake of breath. “It's gorgeous, isn't it?” He laughed. “I always used to miss it so much – going back and forth between the two worlds. Mortal and fairy. It was this world I always so longed to see...”
His voice trailed off.
“But you were always worth coming back for,” he added.
I couldn't help but blush. The canter of the horse forced me against Logan's back repeatedly, causing me to grip more tightly around his waist. The movement of the horse had caused us both to become tired, short of breath – but the redness in both our faces wasn't just exhaustion. I tried to ignore the fluttering feeling inside me as we sat so physically close together. We were both fully aware of each other. But as Logan's dark hair blew out behind him, and I could smell the woodland musk upon him, I felt that every creature in all of Feyland could see my attraction plain on my face. Involuntarily, I tightened my hold on his waist, feeling the taut muscles of his abs beneath my hands. I’ve always thought Logan was so handsome. Whenever we would touch, it felt warm and safe. But ever since my sixteenth birthday when we almost kissed, every single touch, every single look meant much more. As I looked into his face, my arms encircled around his waist, smelling his wonderfully masculine scent, I wonder how I can deny that what we had was more than friendship?