The values and attitudes of Emirati people are shaped by three factors: Islam, Arab, and Bedouin traditions; the desert environment; and the impact of having money and power in a country where roughly 90 percent of the populace are foreign.
Owing in part to its proximity to the sacred cities of Mecca and Medina, the UAE has been suffused with Islamic influence for much more than a thousand years. Life in the desert often meant intense competition for the scarce resources. It shaped characters that were strong-willed and fearlessly resilient. The separation of family units and tribal groupings from other communities by difficult terrain has inspired the creation of elaborate and vital rules for hospitality, and a protocol for negotiation.
Emiratis generally define themselves in terms of their family or tribe first, their Emirate second, country third, and Arab world fourth. After all, only half a century ago, the Bedouin moved their flocks from one grazing area to another as they followed the rain, owing allegiance to the strongest leader, and territory on a map had little meaning to them. The government is making considerable efforts to promote the nation as the basis of personal identity, but old loyalties are slow to disappear.
When wealth is more or less equally distributed, social relations are conducted on an equitable basis. However, now that Emirati people are much wealthier than the more numerous migrant workers in their country, they have become accustomed to consider foreigners to be employees who might represent some sort of threat to their sense of national identity, and more social occasions have become off-limits to expatriates. Long-term expatriates recall that when Dubai and Abu Dhabi were more like villages than global cities, more mingling between the Emiratis and Western population took place. During Eid for example, it was normal for British wives to visit local households and pay their respects. As the number of foreigners has increased, Emirati society has closed ranks and it has become more difficult for outsiders to integrate. In fact, it is quite possible for a visiting worker to live in the UAE for a year and never have occasion to speak to an Emirati.
There are several factors that prohibit socialization: Because Emirati males and females have separate majlis living areas, couples tend to socialize separately with their respective friends. Equally, some Emiratis would feel uncomfortable attending a social occasion with where alcohol is being served. But expatriates, who do respectfully make the effort to engage with locals on occasions when it is possible to do so, find them to be most obliging, and cultural similarities are often greater than any differences.
While the UAE is multicultural, it achieves this through more of a “salad bowl” than “melting pot” mentality. Expatriates sometimes feel as though they are living in a cultural bubble, which only ever merges with people who share the same life perspectives and cultural backgrounds as they do.
If you are a parent, the bubble mentality can be broken through your children. Emirati women love to make a big fuss over young children of every nationality, and in public settings, Emirati and expatriate families can often share a joke about a particular child’s amusing antics. For women, beauty salons offer opportunities to strike up conversation with Emirati customers in for a manicure. For men, the best cultural icebreaker is football, which Emirati men are usually passionate about.
The social system is hierarchically inflexible so due to their nationality, the lowest paid expatriates find it difficult to work their way up the career ladder. One adage that Emiratis occasionally use is “to be as clever as an Egyptian,” which illustrates how foreigners are often met with preconceptions about their role and status in society based on broad ethnic generalization. Visitors should be aware that, based on their ethnicity, there will be some expectations of what kind of person they are, the type of work they do, and, consequently, their social status.
Moving from being an outsider to an insider is likely to be a lengthy process without personal connections. Those who achieve this will find there are subtle, unstated, and longstanding distinctions in status within Emirati society. On the surface, the class structure that permeates other countries might not seem to exist as almost all Emiratis are required to attend university, no matter how unacademically inclined they might be, and very few could be said to live in poverty. The fact that almost all Emiratis wear their national dress in public also makes it difficult to differentiate them apart to foreigners based on class.
But there are marked differences between those who obtained their degrees overseas (the USA is the most popular destination), who tend to be fluent English speakers with more of an international mindset, and those who were wholly educated in the UAE. There are also distinctions between those whose family were desert nomads before the advent of modern development, and those who were farmers, fishermen, and tradespeople. In Dubai, which was a bustling trade port, the women often worked on market stalls while the men fished, which might explain why women from Dubai appear more liberal than those from other Emirates.
There are also distinctions between rural and urban Emiratis, between “pure” Emiratis and those with some foreign heritage, and between those from different Emirates, based on their different dialects, cuisines, and customs. The Emirati stereotype in the British tabloid newspapers is of people who own flats in London’s exclusive boroughs, and park their Lamborghinis outside Harrods department store. But although it’s common for Emiratis to spend their long hot summer abroad, only a small, super-wealthy elite has the money for a luxurious second home in central London.
The family, which is related to tribe, remains the basic social structure and, no matter how far members may roam, they will always be aware of their roots in the familial home. Although public schools are free for Emiratis, some local children attend private international schools in order to sharpen their English. But while children of other nationalities regularly interact outside of school on play dates, it is more common for Emirati children, outside of school, to socialize with their cousins and siblings.
As they grow up, Emiratis are also made painfully aware that any fond friendships they do nurture with expatriates are bound to be short-lived, because one day they inevitably return home. This inherent transiency makes Emiratis naturally more inclined to seek out deeper and more long-lasting relationships with their own kind.
Emiratis are proud of their Arab heritage. It was the Arabs who were blessed to receive the Prophet Mohammed and, hence, the message known as the Islamic religion. This was delivered to Mohammed by the Angel Gabriel in the Arabic language, which is believed to be the language of heaven. Spurred by this message, Arab armies conquered and inspired the conversion to Islam of people from Spain in the west to Indonesia in the east, via all the many countries in between, which is a proud, distinguished heritage. Arabs and other Muslims may be different ethnically, but the shared memory of their Islamic past is a badge of pride that unites them.
The tide of history had changed by the twentieth century, however, and Arabs and Muslims generally were subjected to the depredations of Western colonialism. The humiliation that people felt as a result of being colonized was intensified when it became clear just what reserves of oil were available to those who controlled their territories. Arabs often draw a parallel between British control of the oil fields prior to the Second World War and the American-led invasion of Iraq, which appeared to be for the same motivation.
Clearly, there is scope for enormous levels of very heated debate about these issues, in which the role of Israel is customarily involved. Visitors would do well to bear in mind the history of exploitation, on top of ancient glory, that their Arab friends will bring to their side of any debate. Emiratis control the power within most social forms of interaction, so it is polite to listen to what one’s hosts have to say.
Generosity is deeply engrained into Emirati culture. Many a foreign resident has a tale to tell of a time when their car got stuck in the sand, and was towed to safety by Emirati strangers, who refused to accept money as a gesture of thanks.
Islam places a great deal of stress on charity, and many charitable foundations exist to collect donations and redistribute them to the needy. Muslims are expected to give 2.5 percent of their income away to charity every year, after paying for basic needs such as food, clothing, and housing, in private donations known as zakat. The elaborately decorated new mosques that have been built on almost every street of the Emirates have usually been paid for in zakat.
Due to a fear that charity funds might find their ways into the wrong hands, the UAE has implemented stringent laws that only permit residents to donate to charities with a license to do so, such as the Emirates Red Crescent. This has caused some expatriate-organized charity events, such as school jumble sales and sponsored marathons, to be canceled for fear of breaking the law.
The sound of the muezzin calling Muslims to pray can be heard blasting out from mosque loudspeakers almost everywhere in the UAE, and it is a constant reminder to foreign visitors that Islam is the religion of the UAE. Islam came into being through Prophet Mohammed in the seventh century CE. According to Islamic belief, Mohammed was visited by the Angel Gabriel, who recited to him the holy word of God, which was subsequently written down and became known as the Koran. God’s intention was for Mohammed to be the final in the succession of prophets who had been sent to Earth, including Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus, all of whom are revered as holy prophets in their own right. However, as the final prophet, the message of Mohammed superseded that of all the others and, consequently, the Koran explains exactly how humans should live. The term “Islam” itself literally means “submission,” and Muslims believe that they are submitting themselves continually to the will of God.
Islam combines within itself both the spiritual realm and the temporal realm, and consequently many Muslims believe that the rulers of countries should be religious leaders, not politicians or nonreligious leaders. The leadership of the UAE has to date managed to keep separate the two realms and, as a result, has governed the state through political perspectives.
The Five Pillars of Islam represent the very foundations of the religion and provide structure to the daily life of Muslims.
Muslims always accompany the mention of the name of the Prophet Mohammed with the words “Peace Be Upon Him.” Generally, Islamic thought precludes the representation of human beings in any form of art, as this would be disrespectful to God’s work in creating the original people. In particular, there is a very strong taboo accompanying the portrayal of Mohammed. In 2015, cartoons representing the Prophet led to angry demonstrations around the world. As a visitor, it’s best not to use humor when discussing religion, so as not to be misunderstood.
The UAE’S Churches
As well as its five thousand mosques, the UAE has more than forty churches, and the number keeps growing. In the area of Al Mushrif in Abu Dhabi, colloquially known as “church area,” on a Friday, you can enjoy the gospel singing of Ethiopian women outside St Andrews Anglican Church, the imam at the mosque next door delivering his sermon, and the priest saying mass in the next-door Catholic St Josephs Church. What is remarkable is that this mosque was deliberately built to stand between these churches, to safeguard them against a terrorist bombing. The mosque’s grand white domed structure is the biggest mosque on Abu Dhabi Island. In 2017, it was renamed the “Mary, Mother of Jesus” mosque to stand as a poignant symbol to the world of the UAE’s religious tolerance.
According to a combination of Koranic and traditional beliefs, Emiratis believe that men and women should be kept separate from each other most of the time. This is because they will be tempted into sins of improper intimacy if they are allowed to be together. To prevent this from happening, the best solution is to keep women covered up.
Before the advent of oil wealth, women more commonly worked outside the house and were not required to cover their bodies to the extent that they are now. According to some, it was the presence of so many male migrant workers that persuaded Emirati men to insist that the women protect themselves by wearing the abaya (full-length outer garment) and shayla (head covering).
Sheikh Zayed understood the need to protect Emirati women, but also thought it would be necessary to provide opportunities for those who wished to work outside the household. Achieving this necessitated the creation of workplaces in which women could perform without exposing themselves to possible criticism.
In the more conservative area of Al Ain, all-female call centers were opened by Abu Dhabi Commercial Bank and Etihad Airways so women could be given the chance to work without having to interact with men.
It is now considered the norm for Emirati females to go to university (although only a small number are permitted to study abroad), and then to work in a chosen career upon their graduation. Despite cuts in federal public spending of 27 percent in 2015, as a result of the fall in oil prices, Emirati rulers are still investing in education, encouraging women, in particular, to study. In 1975, shortly after oil was discovered, only 38 percent of Emirati women over the age of fifteen could read or write. Today, that figure is 92 percent, compared with 90 percent for men.
The glass ceiling has been shattered in the last decade in many jobs that were thought of as being for men only, and now the country takes pride in its Emirati female aircraft pilots, opera singers, ice skaters, and martial artists. While in the past, women might have been expected to give up work upon having children, nowadays most Emirati career women leave young children at workplace nurseries, or at home with their maids. But not every family agrees with allowing females to perform in traditionally male jobs, and the progress is by no means irreversible.
The leader of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum is particularly passionate about women’s advancement. In 2012, he made it compulsory for companies and government agencies to appoint women to their boards of directors, saying that women had “proved themselves” and needed to take part in decision-making. Since then, women have also taken up front role positions in government, including their Minister of State for Happiness, Ohood al Roumi. In 2015, the government established a gender-balanced council to ensure that Emirati women continued to play a leading role in the development of the country.
Segregation of the sexes still occurs in the Emirati public primary and secondary school system, and at university level, however steps are now being taken to allow females onto what were previously all-male campuses, for example at Abu Dhabi Men’s College. This interaction means that when males and females need to collaborate in the workplace, they are more comfortable in doing so.
Though it is still taboo for the males and females to have a romantic relationship before marriage, young male and female Emiratis can be seen holding hands in shopping malls, particularly in more liberal Dubai, where this would have been frowned upon a decade ago. Another sign of how gender roles are changing is the sight of fathers pushing their children’s strollers in the park.
It is worth noting that while Emirati women love to take photographs of themselves and each other on their cell phones, it is polite to check first before photographing them yourself. There will probably be an understanding between the women that their photographs are only shared on private, female-only social media accounts.
Having sex with somebody with whom you are not married is also a crime, and in some cases, women who have reported a rape to police have found themselves being charged for this offense.
ALCOHOL
There exists a dangerous paradox between the glitz and glamor of the UAE’s nightlife scene, and the realities of the conservative Sharia legal system. Buying alcohol is technically illegal in the UAE unless you first obtain an alcohol license, and this is only available to non-Muslim residents. Behaving in a drunken manner in public is a crime, and although police tend to turn a blind eye to tourists drinking in clubs and bars, the moment they come out onto the streets and into taxis, they could be arrested for inappropriate behavior. Realistically, such arrests are rare, and the police don’t seem to go out on patrol actively seeking to arrest people for being drunk. However, if a person should require police assistance, and they happen to have been drinking alcohol, they could then be charged for that.
As the UAE has welcomed increasing numbers of foreign tourists into their country, Emiratis have had to accept that some of those tourists choose to wear clothes that they deem to be inappropriate. Signs have been put up in shopping malls advising on appropriate clothing, which for men usually means no shorts, and women are expected to cover up their cleavage, shoulders and only wearing skirts that come below the knees. But the message doesn’t appear to be getting through. If you walk through almost any mall in Dubai, and many in Abu Dhabi, you are bound to see foreign women dressed in tight vest tops, short skirts or dresses which local women would disapprove of. The sight of these scantily-clad women creates some tension and misunderstandings between the Emiratis and the expatriate community, and I recommend any visitor to the UAE to be sensitive to the local culture when choosing their wardrobe. Kissing in public is also taboo.
Marriages between suitable members of different families are one of the most common means of extending social networks. Traditionally, the prospective groom’s mother is tasked with finding her son a suitable bride. Although today couples can connect on social media before they meet face to face, courtship does not usually begin until after the marriage contract, or milcha is signed. Then a couple can get to know each other, chaperoned by relatives. A wedding party takes place some weeks or months later, after which the marriage is consummated.
Islamic law in the UAE allows polygamy, with men permitted to marry up to four wives, as long as each is treated equally. However, in reality, a man must be quite wealthy to be able to afford to maintain more than one wife, and the norm is to have one wife at a time. Divorce in the UAE has been on the rise, as it has worldwide. Figures from the UAE’s National Bureau of Statistics show that since 2008, about 40 percent of Emirati marriages end in divorce. A UAE-wide 2016 study by Zayed University, UAE University, and Al Khwarizmi International College found that interference of family members, social media usage, financial issues, and lack of communication were some of the biggest factors to marital breakdowns.
It is a sensitive subject, but increasing numbers of Emirati men are choosing to take foreign wives; perhaps because the dowry and wedding expenses the families have to pay when marrying an Emirati woman are in some cases prohibitive. According to Judicial Department statistics of the Emirate of Abu Dhabi there were 5,892 new marriage contracts registered in 2016 and in only 3,327 of these, the wife was an Emirati citizen. Muslim Emirati men are free to marry non-Muslim women, if they are “people of the book”—Christians or Jews, who are part of the same Abrahamic religious tradition. A wife in these circumstances will convert to Islam if she wishes to live in the UAE.
In the event of a marital breakdown, it will be assumed as a matter of course that the children will be assigned to the care of the father. When the couple has been living in a country that does not follow Shariah (religious) law, on breakdown of the marriage, there are reports of children being kidnapped by the father. In these cases, the UAE’s Shariah law supports the father, which can make access to children very problematic for the mother.
Insha’allah is one of the most commonly heard phrases throughout the Arab world. It means “If God wills,” and is used on any occasion when the future is concerned. To the Muslim mind, everything that happens is in the hands of God (Allah), so it would be presumptuous to claim that what will happen depends principally on someone’s own efforts. It may sound as if Insha’allah is used to indicate that something will only happen if God takes a direct interest in doing it. However, this is not the case. It means instead that the individual will seek to perform whatever commitment has been made, but it must be borne in mind that God might have other plans.
In recent times, the word has come to take on a new, and more negative meaning, associated with second-hand procrastination, i.e. never getting things done for other people. Insha’allah is often heard for example in the classroom when homework is handed out. “Insha’allah, it will be done,” the students will say—much to the frustration of the teacher, who might then hold little hope of seeing the work completed.
Many large business deals are conducted in an opaque fashion, especially those related to defense and security. Rumors often circulate about whether under-the-table payments may have influenced a deal. Such rumors are often fed by poor information about the decision-making processes. This lack of transparency, combined with the patronage culture in which one individual takes care of the interests of his extended family, suffuses the UAE’s business culture. People wish to protect the interests of their families and connections, and decisions are made that cannot be easily explained to outsiders.
Wasta is an Arabic word meaning something like “influence,” “favoritism” or “connections.” It is a concept relating to the degree of connectedness that an individual may have with other people and organizations and, hence, the ability of that individual to get things done. It is not what you know but who you know that counts. In common with people of many other societies, Emiratis prefer to do business with people whom they know and trust. Since the process of getting to trust another person can be time-consuming and even expensive, it is more efficient to short-circuit this process by pointing to a connection with someone that can act as a symbol of trust and friendship.
Membership of the same family or tribe is perhaps the most powerful symbol of this instant connection; one Emirati introduced to another family member will immediately understand that the long years of established relationships mean the individual can be trusted, since their actions are guaranteed by elder members of the family. Nevertheless, trust can be lost in severe circumstances. In large households, powerful taboos can develop to ensure domestic harmony.
While the reasons behind wasta are understandable, in reality, those with wasta are often given privileged access to scarce resources that others cannot have—including the time and attention of important people and officials. Consequently, the wasta-holders get their business attended to more swiftly. Some people base their career on their possession of wasta and their ability, therefore, to complete paperwork and have decisions approved. Prospective business people will therefore customarily seek to equip themselves with allies with high levels of wasta.
Many foreign residents come to realize that the more wasta an Emirati has, the less likely they are to be blamed by police in a driving incident. At college, some students put little effort into their work, believing their wasta, based on family connections, will get them a prestigious government job, regardless of their grades. The engrained usage of wasta in Emirati society was popularized in the Emirati comedy film “Abood Kandaishan” (2014), by Fadel Al Mheiri, in which the protagonist tries to use his wasta to avoid being transferred from rural government control room where he has worked for thirteen years, to the big city of Abu Dhabi.
But times are changing. With professionalism more engrained into recruitment procedures, and with less government jobs to go around, wasta has less influence in Emirati society that it once had.
At social gatherings conversations about religion and politics and, in particular Israel and Iran, are best avoided. Although there are plenty of far-sighted Emiratis with a mature appreciation of global politics, there are plenty more who hold prejudices that may lead to inflammatory arguments. Emiratis are passionately patriotic, and while some are willing to openly criticize the pace of development that has been embraced in the UAE, or the westernization of their youth, they would never put the blame for any social problems onto their much-respected leaders.
For Emiratis, sharing nuktah, which means a joke, is a part of everyday life. But social conservatism in the UAE means that there are many culture practises that are off-limits for humor, and these are areas that provide significant material for humor and satire in Western countries. Making a joke about someone while making them “lose face” is not acceptable and crosses the line of respect and that of any friendship.
Jokes require more than translation to be understood, so translating Western jokes to Arabic might not get the desired reaction. Emirati humor therefore often concentrates on stereotypes or physical comedy. More recently, social media has given Emiratis a platform for sharing their humor. On Youtube, Emiratis love to watch the new breed of young male Saudi stand-up comedy stars. On Instagram, the Emirati Abdullaziz Baz (@bin_baz) has 4.5 million followers checking in to see his slapstick pranks. Comedy provides young Gulf Arabs with a chance to show a lighter, warmer side to their culture. These youngsters are often painfully aware of the negative way in which Gulf Arabs are often portrayed in the Western media (as radical preachers or flashy billionaires) and are keen to present an alternative narrative of their culture.