Katrine had spent all day and evening of Sunday writing today’s letter to Lars. Between church and meals, it had taken four tries and many hours to find enough privacy to get it right, even in her native Danish. Still, the conversations she had with Winona had made it clear to her that Lars was struggling with matters of the heart as much as she, and she always did her best thinking on paper. Sitting next to Clint at Sunday service, it had become clear to Katrine that if Lars was beginning to think of a life out here with a family of his own, she owed it to him to let him know she had begun to do the same.
She could no longer deny it: when she’d spied those two windows, it wasn’t she and Lars she saw sharing that house. It was she and Clint. Even if things never warmed between them—and right now she couldn’t see how they ever would—the trip to the cabin had shown Katrine that the time had come to think about her life separate from Lars.
It wasn’t as if they’d always expected to live together as brother and sister. They’d talked about raising families side by side, surrounded by bands of noisy cousins and big Sunday suppers. For all his denial, Clint was right about one thing—Lars worried a great deal about her, and she did not want to be the worry that stood between her brother and his future happiness.
So she had written to him. Hinted, in careful words that did not reveal who it was, that God may have shown her the man who would share her life. Nothing too detailed—mostly visions of their two families someday and how much she looked forward to such a life starting when he returned. She kept telling herself it was only to put Lars’s mind at ease, but there was more. It was a declaration of independence of sorts. An opening to new possibilities. The storyteller in her sensed that by putting such tender notions down on paper, by telling them to the one other person who knew her best, she could settle her soul. Right now Katrine’s soul felt far too jumbled to listen well to where God led next.
All of that had made great sense as she left the infirmary minutes ago. Now it seemed the most foolish idea in all of Oklahoma. She would be sending this letter with Clint, after all, since he would be the next to see Lars. At first she thought to wait and send it with Winona, but that was silly; Clint could not read Danish, and thereby not possibly know the contents of the message he carried. Still, she felt a wave of trepidation as she left the letter on top of Clint’s desk in the sheriff’s office Monday morning. Katrine was just turning the corner away from his office when she heard his voice.
“This is serious, young man, and I want you to pay attention.” Clint’s voice came dark and ominous from the side porch of Fairhaven’s Mercantile across the street.
“Yes, sir, Sheriff Thornton.” From where she stood, Katrine could see Martin Walters being walked across the street between Reverend Thornton and Clint. She ducked around the corner as the two men brought Martin toward the sheriff’s office. The poor boy looked as though his fear would rise up and swallow him whole any second.
“The reverend tells me you saw young Luther Oswald take licorice from Fairhaven’s on Saturday.”
“I didn’t mean to see,” Martin said in a panicked voice. Katrine could feel for the lad. Clint’s eyes could be a fearsome thing when the law was at stake. Half the boys in Brave Rock wanted to be Sheriff Thornton, the other half were sore afraid of the man. Clearly one to spout words when afraid, Martin launched into his side of the story. He packed the tale with so many details as they walked into the office that Reverend Thornton had to step in and cut them short.
“Why didn’t you say something when you saw it?” the clergyman asked as Katrine edged back to the front of the building to peer cautiously into the window. Neither man saw her, focused on the boy as they were.
“Luther’s big. I figured he’d clobber me for telling.”
“That’s likely true. Luther is big,” Clint conceded, his commiseration with the boy bringing an amused smile to Katrine’s face. While he would probably never admit it, Clint was very good with children. Walt had even told her he was his favorite of the boy’s new uncles. Clint continued, “But he’s also wrong for taking Felix Fairhaven’s sweets without paying. You know that’s stealing, I know you do. And while I know such things are hard to come by out here, that’s no excuse for breaking the law like both of you did.”
Katrine flinched at the word both at the same moment Martin did.
“Me?” Martin nearly squeaked. “I didn’t take nothin’!”
“I know that to be true,” Clint replied, looking as though he’d given this hours of consideration. “But you saw the crime and said nothing. Now, I know your mama and your papa to be fine folks. I’m sure they taught you right from wrong. So, Martin, I want you to look me square in the eye—man-to-man—and tell me if you knew telling would have been the right thing to do.”
Telling would have been the right thing to do. Suddenly she was fourteen years old again, hearing her conscience shout the same thing to her night after night for months after she’d seen the murder. How many times had she walked past a police office back east, halting her steps in consideration, only to have the sinister look of the killer’s eyes force her to run away?
Martin backed up against the reverend, but the clergyman’s hand did not allow him to move. The boy looked duly terrified. His fist came up to his mouth, as if to hold in the words that would condemn him.
“I am the sheriff, Martin. Lying to me would be as bad as lying to Reverend Thornton. Maybe worse.”
“Mama says that.”
At that comment, Katrine watched Elijah and Clint exchange knowing glances. “And how’s that?” Clint asked.
“She says I need to be extra good because she and pa are friendly with both of you. Being the sheriff and the preacher man, she says you both know everything about right and wrong and how little boys get punished.”
“She’s right,” Clint offered. “But I expect she also told you that her friendship with Reverend Thornton and me would not get you any special ease should you break the laws. Neither God’s nor Oklahoma’s.”
“Yes, she did. I remember,” Martin said, the words coming faster and faster. “I sure do remember that.”
“Which is why I am so vexed that you did what you did.”
Martin scrunched up his face at the unfamiliar word.
“Why I am not at all pleased that you failed to come forward. In these parts, hiding a crime is nearly the same as committing one. In fact, it’s my personal opinion that there is no difference between the man who did the crime and the man who failed to stop it.”
There is no difference between the man who did the crime and the man who failed to stop it. Katrine pulled away from the window, her hand on her chest to stop the pounding heart underneath. She could not help the feeling she was hearing Clint lecture her fourteen-year-old self. No matter how she tried to argue, she could not take it as coincidence that she’d been party to this conversation. She could not ignore that not seconds after she’d braved the placement of her letter on his desk, she’d been witness to a lecture where Clint managed to give voice to every doubt that had plagued her over the years. Some horrible man was walking around free while someone’s dear daughter lay unavenged in the ground, and all because she would not step forward.
You were a child. Only she wasn’t. Not really. She and Lars had been on their own long enough that she could not claim innocence. And truly, could a woman who’d spent time as a barmaid—even if it was to keep her belly full—ever claim innocence?
You were threatened. Yes, she was, but so was Martin. For that matter, so was Lars, and look at all he was risking to ensure that justice was being served!
Surely he is being so strict to set an example. Perhaps, but no man would speak so harshly to a young boy unless he deeply believed what he said. She inched closer to the window with her back to the wall, straining to hear but afraid to show her face.
“What if in ten years Luther thinks that all he needs to do whatever he wants is to hold up a fist to a small fry like you? A man has to think about his future, his honor, when faced with a choice like yours.”
Had that horrible man killed others, threatened other witnesses into silence as he had done with her? She’d never allowed herself to think about that, even when that one pale, lifeless face lying in the alley pushed its way into her nightmares. Now she kept her eyes wide open for fear a crowd of pale faces would shout accusations at her if she shut them. She was fourteen all over again, and no amount of logic would push back the rush of panic that seemed to pin her to the wall. Why was Lars not here? Faced with this panic, she might have been able to convince herself to finally tell him after all these years. Lars would know what to do. He might understand.
Or he might not. Katrine considered the very reason Lars was not here. He was hiding precisely because he was a witness to a crime and had been threatened. He had spoken out, done what she had failed to do. And Clint—Clint had spoken over and over about how he admired what Lars was doing, how Lars was willing to risk even his life to stop the wrongdoing he’d seen. After all, wasn’t that what Clint did every day? The high calling he held himself to? How would a man with that kind of code view a person who’d kept silent about murder?
Not with the tender eyes she cherished when he looked at her. Not with the admiration he showed when speaking with Lars. Katrine flattened her palms against the office wall, begging her legs to move and carry her away, but they did not listen. The vision of that letter now sitting on Clint’s desk imprisoned her as surely as if she were in the cells beyond that wall.
She tried to conjure up some excuse to walk in and snatch the letter back, but none would come. She could only gulp when the door to her left opened and out walked Reverend Thornton and Martin.
“I trust you learned your lesson here today, Martin?”
“Yes, Reverend.” The words weren’t much above a whisper. The boy stared at the ground and shuffled his feet.
“Grace has been extended to you this one time. Learn from it and make sure I never have to take you before Sheriff Thornton again. Be the man God intended you to be, and stand up for what you know is right.” Katrine shut her eyes, willing herself invisible but knowing the foolishness of that.
“Miss Katrine? How are you today?” There was no hope. Reverend Thornton had spied her there, flattened ridiculously against the office wall. “Are you ill?”
She opened her eyes, to see Martin was gone. “Fine,” she replied. Katrine was sure her voice was just as squeaky as Martin’s had been earlier.
* * *
Katrine had been beyond careless, Clint thought, leaving a note in Danish out in the open on his desk like that. Only one other person in Brave Rock could read Danish, and that person was supposed to be dead. Had McGraw walked in here—and as a member of the Security Patrol, he had every right to do so—it might give him cause to wonder. Did Katrine realize the foolishness of what she’d done?
“You left a note on my desk, Miss Brinkerhoff,” he said as he stepped outside his office and saw her with his brother. He didn’t do a good job of reining in his annoyance, and the words came out more sharply than he would have liked.
“Yes.” She looked at him with eyes as wide and panicked as Martin’s had been. “I did.” Was that regret in her eyes? She couldn’t think to ask for the letter back in front of someone like Lije, not when there was Danish on the outside, for crying out loud.
He had to come up with something. “I’ll take care of that list right away. Tonight, even.” She ought to remember he was heading out to visit Lars tonight. Clint patted his shirt pocket to let her know he’d put her letter safely out of sight. “You remember you’ve got nothing to worry over. Not a thing.” Her eyes showed the force of his words, and he wanted to kick himself for letting his anxiety get the better of his control. He took a step toward her, but it was as if she’d suddenly found use of her feet and she retreated from him. Hang it all, how could he make her see the importance of their secrecy without chastising her for her lapse?
“Fint, tak.” She gave a forced-looking wave toward the mercantile as she translated, “I’m fine, thank you.” Clint hoped no one else guessed that she resorted to Danish when she was nervous. “I was on my way to Fairhaven’s for more thread.”
“I’ll be happy to walk you over there, Miss Brinkerhoff. You’re looking a bit peaked.” Lije was such a master of giving even common words a warm, caring tone. However, if Katrine’s eyes were any indication, Clint was sure his words sounded more like a reprimand than a reassurance.
“No, thank you. I am quite fine. I need to go. Good morning.”
Clint watched Katrine scurry into Fairhaven’s as if a mountain lion were nipping at her heels. She’d stared at him with wide eyes, fisted hands hiding in her skirts. This ruse had gone on long enough—it was time to end it. He’d hoped to be able to keep her secure until Lars could return, but the look on her face just now told him even the combination of his support and Winona’s hadn’t been enough. Brave as she was trying to be, the passing days had strung her tight as a telegraph line. The best thing for Katrine was to get Lars home tonight. He’d be heading on over to the Chaucers one last time at sundown.
From beside him, he heard Lije push out an exasperated breath. “You shouldn’t be so hard on her, Clint. She’s not faring well.” Of course, Lije would put her distress down to grief, but that just underscored Clint’s urgency to put the whole scheme to rest.
“I know it’s hard on her being alone.”
“I wasn’t thinking she was so much alone.” Lije didn’t have to say “because you’ve been spending so much time with her,” for his eyes silently broadcast the thought. When Clint gave him a dark look, he said, “Come on, brother, even you have to have caught on that Katrine is a bit sweet on you.”
Clint thought about arguing the point, but this was Lije—he was too smart about these kinds of things. While it made him a wonderful pastor, it made him an insufferable brother some days. “It don’t matter none.”
“It does.”
Clint wanted to take his brother by the shoulders and yell, “Lars will be home soon and we can all go back to our peaceful lives!” But even as his mind held the thought, he knew it for the lie it was. Lars could come home a dozen times over and some things could never go back to being the way they were.
“How’s Mrs. Murphy’s ginger cake today?” Clint’s attempt at changing the subject was as futile as it was ridiculous.
Lije sat back on one hip on the porch rail and narrowed his eyes at his brother. Really? his glare seemed to say. “I wouldn’t know.”
Clint put his hand on his office door, still open from the escapade with Martin. “Perhaps you should go bring some home to Alice.” He waved a falsely cheerful goodbye. “She likes that sort of thing, don’t she? It’d be a husbandly sort of thing to do.” He gave the word a not-so-gentle emphasis that he hoped translated to Perhaps you should clear off my office porch and not sermon me on how I handle my affairs.
Just as he feared, Lije followed him back inside. “You know, Gideon just got through telling me his new black is the most stubborn soul in Brave Rock. I need to go on back there and tell him he’s wrong. I think that honor goes to our esteemed sheriff.”
“I’m just being realistic, Lije. I know that comes hard to your type, but—”
“You’re being foolish. There. I said it. For a man who claims to be so observant, you can’t see the truth when it’s so close to your eyes it could bite you in the nose.”
Oh, it bites, I tell you. Hard and sharp and right at the place under my ribs. Clint pointed a finger at his brother. “Lije, I’m only going to say this one more time...”
Lije surprised him by pointing a finger right back. “Don’t you shut her out, Clint. Don’t you be cold to her now when she’s all alone like this. She needs you. Land sakes, you might even need her more, if you’d just be man enough to admit it.” With that, Lije pushed through the door and slammed it shut behind him.
Clint stared at the door. Since the sheriff’s office had been built in Brave Rock, his own kin had never slammed the door at him like that. He didn’t much care for the way it felt. Not one bit.