Despite all the modern conveniences of today—faster computers, smartphones, groceries delivered to our doorstep, and cooking gadgets that shave off time—our lives are busier than ever. What’s more, work and family needs, financial demands, daily life to-dos, emails, and social media pressures are leaving less introspective “me time” and relaxation time than ever before. This daily stress, without the necessary restorative work to offset it, is draining to our spirit, mind, and body, and our outer radiance. I see this daily in my practice as a dermatologist in New York. Patients come to me stressed and looking for a quick-fix solution—whether a topical cream, an injectable to erase wrinkles, a laser treatment, or something else—to look younger and healthier and to feel more confident about themselves. While I do offer all of these options, there’s a key component of beauty, which I refer to as mindful beauty, that’s so often missing today: a mind, body, and soul-nourishing lifestyle that’s essential for inner peace and outer beauty. Because of the 24/7 demands on us due to our modern lifestyles, it’s easy to be less present in the moment and therefore less aware of what our bodies and our spirits truly need to thrive. But what we’re putting into our bodies and doing to our body on a daily basis, as well as the health of our spiritual life, are all as critical to beauty and aging gracefully as what we’re doing to the outside of our bodies. In fact, they’re even more important. That’s where this book comes in.
All of the information that I have culled from years of working with patients is included in the pages of this book, along with some of the latest studies linking spirituality, nutrition, and health to stress reduction and glowing skin.
I’m confident about what works to help people look and feel better because I’ve seen the results in so many patients of different ages, lifestyles, and cultures whom I’ve had the privilege of treating. Over the past nineteen years that I’ve been practicing dermatology, I’ve helped thousands of patients have healthier, more peaceful, and more spiritually aware lives. As one of just several hundred dermatologists in the country also trained in osteopathic medicine, I am uniquely qualified to connect the systems within the body and to understand how stress triggers an imbalance in the body that is also reflected on the skin. Osteopathy is a holistic, preventive approach to medicine that believes each part of the body, including the skin, is linked to every other part. Osteopaths like myself have a four-year medical degree just like any medical doctor, along with three to seven years of residency, but we also have additional training in osteopathy. It’s this insight that has given me the ability to explain how what we do to our bodies and spirits affects our overall beauty, both inside and out.
Inner and Outer Beauty
Take Kate, for example. Kate is a patient of mine who was stressed in her job. She had put on weight over the previous couple of years, due to on-the-go eating, a lack of regular restorative sleep, and no time for regular, consistent exercise, not to mention practically nonexistent “me” time. Not only did Kate look tired and worn out, but she also looked years older than she actually was. She came to me to help her look younger. We talked about a lot of things, including the important elements of beauty, health, and anti-aging that Kate wasn’t paying attention to in her daily life: stress reduction, spirituality, healthy relationships, diet, and sleep. Kate was like so many of us who live lifestyles dictated by stressful jobs that leave little time for the key components of healthy living, specifically:
• Taking time out to relax mentally and physically
• Spiritual enrichment
• Eating a diet rich in nourishing, whole, unprocessed foods
• Moving the body every day
• Getting enough restful sleep
• Learning to develop a passion for life again
• Nurturing healthy relationships
After sitting and talking with Kate, we worked out a skincare plan for her, but we also established a realistic lifestyle plan, one that worked with the demands of her work and her life. One of the key components of this lifestyle makeover was that Kate had to take at least thirty consecutive minutes for herself every day to spend how she liked, away from her phone, her emails, her family, even the pile of laundry waiting to be folded. It was up to her whether she took this time to meditate, exercise, do some simple yoga stretches, sit quietly with a cup of tea, or take a reflective walk outdoors. But these thirty minutes were non-negotiable and critical to reducing the stress in her life. Think about it: most of us are awake more than fifteen hours a day. Spending thirty minutes on yourself is actually not much at all. But it’s an important step to making yourself a priority, which is a key factor in helping to bring balance back into your life. While we were sitting there in my office together, Kate added “me time” to her schedule on her phone as a recurring daily event. What Kate found, which she explained to me later, was that making this time for herself was a simple change, she began to look forward to it, and it made a big difference for her overall anxiety levels. She began to sleep better and, because she wasn’t always exhausted, she also started making healthier food choices.
One of my core beliefs is that when you begin to reduce the stress in your life, everything changes: your confidence increases, your outlook on life becomes more positive, you have more energy, you sleep better, your relationships improve, and yes, the appearance and health of your skin improves too. When Kate came back to me several months later, she looked more radiant and she was much happier. Things hadn’t miraculously changed overnight, but her whole attitude had become more positive over time. She even told me that her thirty minutes of “me time” had now become an hour every day: thirty minutes in the morning and thirty minutes at night. This is consistently what I see with all my patients who undertake a stress-reducing lifestyle makeover. What you do to rebalance yourself—therefore reducing tension in your life—will absolutely improve how you look on the outside. This is true inner and outer mindful beauty.
Exactly How This Book Will Help You
In this book, I’m going to walk you through proven ways to incorporate healthier habits and how to slowly and gradually balance out your life so you’re healthier and more spiritually connected. Your skin will look years younger too. Like Kate, you’ll also have a more positive outlook on life, because there’s a genuine happiness and self-confidence that comes when you’re less tense and anxious and all parts of your body are working together in harmony.
First, though, I’d like you to step back and take a moment to reflect on who you are. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths in and out. As you breathe in deeply, appreciate all that you have and are. As you breathe out, let go of any worries, fears, and insecurities about your life, your health, your body. Acceptance of who you are and all your amazing qualities is critical for self-acceptance, but also to motivate you to put into practice, and stick to, the healthy changes suggested in this book. For you, this moment of appreciation can be something that you do in the morning and/or before bed. It will leave you feeling good about who you are and less bothered with day-to-day concerns.
Now take a moment to think about the things you’d like to do to be a healthier, happier you. Be sure to reflect on how you feel spiritually and emotionally, something that most people forget to take into account because it’s less tangible. Do you wake up every morning with energy and joy? Do you feel fulfilled with your social connections and relationships? Do you take time to slow down and connect with your inner or higher self ? Are you mindful several times throughout the day with all of your awareness in the here and now?
Now turn your attention to your sleep habits and energy levels. How much shut-eye are you getting every night, and do you wake up feeling rested and recharged? Do you feel lively or sluggish? Be sure to ponder, too, your diet and your exercise habits. All these things either encourage stress or feed the mind, body, and spirit. Be honest with yourself about the things you’re doing that are benefitting you and those that are not. Think about everything and, if you need to, write these things down. These words will be important motivation to keep you on track throughout this process of inner growth and outer transformation. Sometimes it requires a heartfelt inner conversation to get the answers to questions like these. Take all the time you need. Responding to these questions honestly will help you move forward with acceptance.
Whatever you do, though, don’t judge yourself. Every one of us has habits that could be “better.” You are unique, wonderful, and one of a kind. Don’t forget this. Just answer these questions honestly and without self-criticism. If you start to judge yourself, just bring your thoughts back to the fact that you are unique and wonderful and that this process is a journey to rebalance your life and awaken all the potential you have inside.
Throughout the course of this book, I’ll work with you at replacing stress-inducing unhealthy habits with healthier ones that leave you feeling more centered. It isn’t easy to stop ingrained habits, but taking small steps to change—what Kate tried with her thirty minutes a day and what this book offers—is what will result in success. Throughout this book, you’ll find easy tips to incorporate into your life. You do not need to put all of them into practice at once. The idea is that you can create a lifestyle makeover that works for you and your life. And this might mean just one change or it might be three or more. All I ask is that you commit to yourself and don’t give up.
One of my favorite mantras is “Old, negative patterns of eating, living, and working will no longer limit me.”
Make this saying your motivational mantra as you journey on this path toward inner and outer mindful beauty.