“We all make mistakes, to be sure. However, some mistakes cannot ever be fixed. They merely bring forth pain. Forever and ever. It’s a terrible shame, that.”
AARON SCHROCK
Jacob quickly stepped away from her side, but the damage had already been done. He’d forgotten where they were, had forgotten how vulnerable she was, and had kissed Deborah right in the middle of the store.
And her parents had seen it all. By the looks of her father’s thunderous expression, Jacob knew he would never be forgiven. At that moment, Jacob wasn’t sure if he even should be.
Beside him, Deborah looked shaken and a little embarrassed. But she looked far more composed than he felt. “Daed, what are you doing here?”
Before her father answered, her mother appeared behind him. “Sheriff Kramer came by the house last night, Deborah.” With a wary glance in his direction, she added, “He told us about Jacob. Since you were with Frannie last night, we knew you wouldn’t have heard. We came here to tell you the news.”
Deborah blushed. Her parents had no idea that she had a cell phone.
“Jacob, my question is why you are out of jail,” Mr. Borntrager said, his voice full of menace. “They should have never let you around decent people.”
Jacob felt like his throat was so filled with a lump, he doubted he was going to be able to swallow much longer. But he didn’t dare to defend himself. What could he say to Perry’s parents that could possibly ease their pain?
“Daed, you mustn’t say such things,” Deborah said. “Jacob is innocent.”
“No, daughter. He is far from that.”
“If you talked to the sheriff, then you know what happened with Perry and Jacob was an accident. We mustn’t blame him.”
“I know no such thing.” Turning to Jacob, Mr. Borntrager glared. “You killed my son, and have been lying about it all this time.”
“That is not what happened!” Deborah said fiercely.
Jacob was stunned. Never would he have imagined that she would be defending him, and especially not to her parents. The only way he could imagine dealing with this situation was to let them have their say. Therefore, he bit his lip and stood still. Completely prepared to take whatever vitriolic words were flung his way.
“Deborah, come with us now,” her mother said quietly. “You need to quit this job and never come back. We’ll shop somewhere else.”
But instead of letting her mother coax her outside, Deborah stood her ground. “That’s not fair, Mamm.”
“It’s not fair that Jacob killed your brother,” Mr. Borntrager said. “Worse, you are demeaning his loss by hugging his murderer. You’ve shamed us. Never have we been so ashamed of a child.”
“Never before?” she whispered. “Never before have you been so ashamed?” Deborah’s eyes filled with tears.
Jacob couldn’t blame her. For them to be forgetting how much Perry had shamed them all? It was almost unforgiveable.
Unable to keep silent any longer, Jacob stepped forward. “Don’t blame Deborah. The hug you saw, it wasn’t her doing, it was mine. I hugged her.”
“That’s not true,” Deborah whispered.
“I asked to her stay here and talk to me. And I kissed her without asking her permission,” Jacob said quickly. Almost standing in front of her so that he could shield her from the terrible looks her father was shooting their way.
But if Jacob had imagined his words would make things easier, he was mistaken.
Looking even angrier, Mr. Borntrager folded his arms tightly across his chest and raised his voice. “Well, of course Deborah being here is your fault. All of it is your fault. You’ve ruined our family, you murdered my son. You’ve lied to us for months, concealing your part in my son’s death. And now you’re attacking my daughter.”
Jacob knew that Mr. Borntrager wasn’t speaking the truth. It was at best exaggerated and at worst flat-out lies. But what did it really matter? His future was doomed because no one but Deborah seemed to care that he had no intent to kill Perry and had no idea who had hidden his body.
So he kept quiet, choosing to let her parents yell at him. At least then they would ease up on their daughter.
But Deborah pushed her way past him, standing in front of her parents, looking as brave as he’d ever seen anyone look. “Father, you must stop saying such things.”
“I’ve held my tongue all this time. No longer.”
“But you’re wrong. Daed, my hugging Jacob wasn’t like you are describing. We were merely—”
“I don’t want to hear another word.”
“But I think we should talk about this!” Her expression crushed, she turned to her mother. “Mamm, don’t you think we need to face the truth now? Don’t you think you need to hear Jacob’s side of the story?”
“My Perry is gone, Deborah. That is all I need to know.”
“Nee!”
Reaching out, her father grabbed Deborah’s arm. “Daughter, I’ve never laid a hand on you, but if you don’t stop, you will leave me with no choice. We will leave now. And you will not say another word to Jacob Schrock ever again. Furthermore, we will never step foot in this store again. It’s done nothing but bring shame and pain into our lives.”
Tears now fell down her face. “It wasn’t the store that hurt us, Father,” she said quietly.
Looking at the three of them, Jacob knew there was nothing he could do. Her father was right. He’d done terrible things, and they should feel nothing but scorn for him.
“You should leave, Deborah,” he murmured. “It’s okay.”
She shook her head. “But this isn’t okay. You aren’t like that. We aren’t like that . . .”
“Deborah!” her father thundered. “You will obey me now.”
“Go, Deb. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be all right,” he said.
Tears now running down her face, apology bright in her eyes, Deborah said, “I’m so sorry, Jacob.”
“I understand. I promise, I understand.” He did understand, and he almost welcomed the pain of her family’s rejection. It was no more than he deserved.
Without another word, Mr. Borntrager ushered his wife and daughter out of the store. Jacob stood stoically as he watched them walk down the front steps and down the sidewalk. Deborah’s father was grim-faced as he led the way, his steps proud, his gait fast. Mrs. Borntrager followed, her face tilted toward the ground, her back hunched as if she was in pain.
And slowly following was Deborah. Her chin was up, her posture was straight. As if to all the world she had nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to answer for.
It was only when he saw her swipe her face with the side of her hand that he realized she was still crying.
When they were out of sight, he glanced around the store, amazed at the silence. His family’s store was rarely silent. Usually his father’s voice echoed down the aisles, or his mother’s gentle coaxing floated from the back storage room.
More often than not, the store was bustling with customers. Tourists, too.
And of course, the animals made their own noise. They chattered or buzzed or barked or chirped. But this morning, there was nothing. Only him and two kittens who always seemed to prefer their own company to his.
Standing in front of their cage, he watched them snuggle. They were wrapped around each other, curved so tightly that at first glance they looked like one. In slumber, their calico fur blended together, and their soft purring was as gently infectious as almost anything he’d ever heard.
Showing him that some things were meant to be a pair. Just like he and Deborah.
“Well, cats, I guess it’s just you and me. For a time, at least.” Until the trial and a jury convicted him of his crimes.
Once in prison, he’d be living in a cage of his own, always at the mercy of people who were free.
Thinking about his future that way, Jacob knew he fostered many regrets. He wished he’d been a better son. Often, a better friend.
But more than any of that, he wished he’d treated Deborah better. He wished he’d seen her as more than Perry’s little sister when they were younger. He wished he’d seen her as more than just a girl of his acquaintance during that short period of singings and courtship.
But most of all, he wished he’d never taken out his anger on her. He’d been wrong to see her as only a reminder of his faults. And then, when he’d finally realized how wrong he’d been, he wished he’d taken the time to let her know how much she meant to him.
Now, all he could do was prepare for his new future. The best thing for them both was for him to keep his distance, and to make sure she kept it, too. It wouldn’t do for her to risk her parents’ wrath. Or to risk facing others’ disapproval.
Yes, certainly the best thing for him to do would be to keep to himself.
Because he’d finally realized that it didn’t really matter what the future had in store for him. No matter what happened, there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.
After all, no matter how much a man might wish to change the past, there was one thing they could all count on: You could never go back. What was done was done.