To my mother, who encouraged and pushed me down the unconventional path. Who championed my independence. I miss you, and I love you.
To my father, who taught me how to plant a garden and encouraged me to keep smiling and to seek the light. And who was there every step of the way while I was writing this book, always willing to answer questions, no matter how personal or painful.
Daddy, I love you and am so proud of you.
To my brother, Hunter, who blazed his own trail, and to Jen, who has been steadfast by his side, I am honored to be your sister.
To my Aunt Mary Anne, for being my inspiration—well beyond baking and crafting. Thank you for all of the memories you shared, both bitter and sweet.
To my Great-Uncle Ken, who passed away right before this book came out. Thank you for being an angel on this earth and for being one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. May you rest in peace (1927–2021).
To my entire extended family, the Jacksons and the Fosters: thank you all for being a part of this story. Of my story.
To my agent, Mollie Glick, for believing in this offbeat idea of a memoir. And to my editor, Suzanne O’Neill, for allowing me to tell it. Thank you for pushing me and not settling for anything less.
To the incredible Liz Welch, who became a friend and also a therapist during this journey. Thank you for your unbelievable patience, gentle prodding, questions ALL IN CAPS, long phone conversations, deep dives, and complete rewrites. Thank you for your collaboration. For believing in ME as a writer. And thank you for helping me tell my story in a way I thought was just not possible.
Thank you to Patti LuPone for being YOU. And thank you for saying YES when I asked for an interview. I will forever be your number one fan. And you will always be my north star.
Thank you, Stephanie, for always inspiring me, for being my sister in this life. For your unconditional love and support and creative championing.
Thank you, Megan, my sister and friend, for always being there, checking in, and being such an incredible friend and confidant.
Thank you, Julien, my other brother, for catching me when I fall and for supporting me when I stagger. Thank you for your endless love and friendship. I love you.
Ted. My husband, my friend, my partner. Thank you for sharing this life with me. Thank you for your unbelievable talent, your incredible gift as a writer. Thanks for putting up with this “newbie writer” and for being a tough but loving critic. Thank you for making me better and the best version of myself. I love you so, so much.
And to Emily. My darling daughter. I don’t know how I got so lucky to be your mom, but I am so grateful to your birth mom for choosing me and Ted to raise you. She is an incredible person and so are you, my sweet Ems.
Thank you for being so patient while Mommy had to go “write her book.”
I can’t wait for you to read it, someday.