Cade didn’t care how much noise she was making. She had become the very definition of angry. She wasn’t sure who she was more angry at—Ethan, for proposing such an idiotic idea as to go back to Memphis alone, or herself, for not having the backbone either to truly stand up to him or to go with him.
It was an asinine idea. Going back into Memphis was bad enough. After their arrival in Mississippi, the three of them had witnessed the footage of the city’s fall on the limited television that had still been available. At the time, Brandt had even gone so far as to say that he would have ranked it just behind Atlanta in how badly it had caved to the infected. And Ethan wanted to go back there? Just to try to find someone who was most likely not even alive anymore?
Cade wasn’t going to lie to herself; she had no desire to go back into Memphis, with or without Ethan. Nothing would drag her there, no matter how hard it pulled; the thought of going back into the city, the neighborhood, the house where Andrew and Josie had died was enough to deter her from ever stepping foot in the area again.
Cade still had no idea if the virus had gone worldwide, if her sister was still breathing in Israel, still waiting for word on where Cade and Josie were. Cade hadn’t been able to get in touch with her before the phone lines went down. She had been forced to resign herself to the fact that Lindsey was likely unreachable. She had been forced to assume that no information meant Lindsey was probably no longer alive to give that information—just like Anna.
A thump on the closed bedroom door startled Cade from her thoughts and drew her attention out of her mind and back to the present. She moved toward the door, casting a baleful glance at the shattered drinking glass resting at the baseboard. It didn’t take more than a second to unlock the door, and when she opened it, the expectant scowl on her face melted away in surprise when she realized that it was Brandt.
“What do you want?” Cade bit out before she could stop herself. She managed not to cringe as she realized how angry it sounded.
Brandt showed no surprise at her blatant display of rudeness. “Uh, hi? The guys downstairs think you’re being a bit too loud up here, and honestly, I’m in agreement with them. So could you please drop the noise to about a four?”
Cade sighed and turned away from the door, leaving it open so Brandt could come inside if he so desired. “He’s just so stupid!” she exclaimed, clenching her fists for a moment. She didn’t even bother to turn to see if Brandt was still standing there. “What in the hell does he think it’s going to accomplish?”
“Peace of mind. Closure. Whatever it is they call it.” Brandt’s boots thumped on the floor as he came into the room; he paused to look at the broken glass by the door. “It’s just something he feels like he has to do.”
“Doesn’t mean that I have to like it,” Cade muttered. She pushed her ponytail back off her neck and plopped down onto the edge of the bed. “I thought he’d change his mind if I told him I wouldn’t go with him,” she admitted. “Turned out that he didn’t want me to go with him anyway.”
“Yeah,” Brandt said, his voice hoarse. He walked across the room to look out the window.
“You don’t actually condone him going, do you?”
“No, but there’s really nothing I or anyone else can do to stop him either, is there?” Brandt said softly. “He’s a grown man. He makes his own decisions.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like those decisions,” Cade repeated.
“Hey, I’m not saying I like it either,” Brandt said. “From a practical standpoint, it’s going to put a crimp in the whole security aspect of things. But from a personal standpoint, well, I’ve kind of started to like the cranky bastard, and I don’t really want him to leave. I mean, who’s going to help me keep you in line when he’s gone?”
Cade nearly laughed despite her annoyance. “Hey, who said I needed to be kept in line? I can handle myself just fine, thank you.”
Brandt finally turned to look at Cade, concern in his dark eyes. Her smirk faded as she looked back at him. “Are you okay with this? With sticking with me and a couple of other guys you barely know?”
Cade mulled over Brandt’s question. She had several options: she could stay with the three men for the protection they offered, if nothing else; she could follow Ethan once he had departed and perhaps offer him some additional support and backup; or she could strike out on her own, though she knew instinctually that that would most likely lead to her own death. Deep in her heart, though, she knew that it was no contest. She would stick with her personal plan of safety in numbers, even if it meant allowing her best friend to leave for untold dangers alone.
“Yeah, I think I can handle it,” she said with a confidence she didn’t feel.
“Hey,” Brandt said quietly. He moved to kneel in front of her and patted her knee in an awkward attempt to comfort her. “Ethan’s going to be okay. He’s tough, you know? I’m sure he can take care of himself just fine.”
“And if he gets to Memphis and doesn’t find what he’s looking for?” Cade asked. “What if he just … falls apart? No one will be there with him to make sure he makes it through something like that. He’s nowhere near as strong as you seem to think he is, Brandt.”
Brandt studied Cade’s face, and though she was dying to look away, Cade forced herself to keep her gaze on Brandt’s warm brown eyes. Their expression was strong with concern and compassion. It made her feel a bit embarrassed, a bit like the helpless female that she knew she wasn’t.
Brandt cleared his throat as if he were uncomfortable, and he broke their shared gaze to look back toward the bedroom doorway. “So it’s looking like we’re going to have to move again,” he said conversationally, rising to his feet and stretching. “Gray has this theory or something that definitely makes sense, and I think you should hear it.”
Cade sat up straighter and pushed her bangs back from her eyes. “What kind of theory?”
Brandt began to talk in a hushed voice, his eyes locked to the window by which he’d hovered for most of their conversation. And Cade’s heart sank as the implication of his words hit her full force.