Main Points:
At Allison’s two-month checkup, her mother told me Ally slept only for three-hour stretches at night. Shaya confided that getting up so often was wearing her down and making it hard for her to be patient with her other two young children.
I asked Shaya if she was still swaddling Ally at night. She wasn’t. “I stopped about a month ago because the nights have been so warm and she always gets out of it!” I suggested she dress Ally in just a diaper, wrap her tightly in a larger blanket that could be securely tucked around her, and play some loud white noise in her room. The next week Shaya reported the good news. Allison, now tightly swaddled, was sleeping on her back for eight hours every night, without interruption.
Ahhh … sleep!
For most new parents, a good night’s sleep is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, shimmering in your sleep-deprived mind like a mirage. Newborns sleep in such short dribs and drabs that we should never brag we’re “sleeping like a baby.” It makes much more sense to say we’re sleeping like a bear, or a ditch digger, or, better yet, like a new parent.
Why don’t babies sleep more? Your baby actually sleeps quite a bit; however, nature could have been a teensy bit more considerate about helping your baby choose when to enjoy his sweet dreams. Most newborns distribute their snooze time pretty evenly throughout the night (and day).
Mothers around the world usually take the erratic timing of these sleep periods in stride. Many years ago, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton reported that babies in rural Mexico also had evening fussy periods, just like our babies. However, their mothers were amused rather than upset by this, joking that since adults gab all day long, nighttime was a baby’s turn to talk.
Anthropologists observing the !Kung San of southern Africa found their babies woke as often as every fifteen minutes. Their moms responded by pulling them to the breast for a little snack. Usually, they would fall back asleep in seconds.
In the U.S., most parents prefer to let their newborn sleep in a bassinet by their bed. For the first few months of life, your baby will likely request the pleasure of your company for a meal every two to four hours throughout the night. Bottle-fed babies often sleep a bit longer, because formula turns into big curds that sit in the stomach longer than the easily digested, tinier curds of breast milk.
I’m sure it’s hard to believe right now, but your baby’s early-morning feedings may turn into some of your sweetest memories. Those beautiful moments—when all noise and commotion are stilled—may make you feel like you’re floating in a cloud suspended in time. Gretchen, mother of three, said, “Our two-month-old, Julian, will be our last baby, and as crazy as it sounds, I look forward to nursing him in the middle of the night! It’s the only time when we can really be alone, and I get to enjoy my delicious little boy in peace and quiet.”
All babies have sleeping and waking cycles. If you’re like most new parents, your goal is to get your baby to do his longest sleeping at night and be most awake during the day.
But, exactly how long should your baby sleep? On average, babies snooze fourteen to eighteen hours in a twenty-four-hour period. That might sound like a lot but it’s broken up into little snippets, slipped between short stretches of wakefulness. In effect, it’s like being given a thousand dollars—in pennies!
As you can see in the sleep pattern graph, during your baby’s first weeks of life two-thirds of each day will be spent asleep (gray areas). The average infant takes naps lasting two to three hours alternating with hour-long awake-breaks (white areas) for feeding, fussing, and some alert time. Initially, your baby’s longest stretch of sleep will probably be about four hours.
By three months, your baby will still sleep fourteen to eighteen hours a day, but the awake time (white areas) will join into longer periods of wakefulness, and sleeping (gray areas) may extend for up to six to eight hours.
During these initial months, your baby’s brain gets better and better at dividing the twenty-four hours of the day into three main activities:
Both babies and adults have two different types of sleep (and I don’t mean too little and none). Quiet sleep makes up fifty percent of your baby’s slumber. It’s when he’s out like a log, his breathing easy and regular, his face still and angelic. During quiet sleep your baby’s muscles are actually a little tensed; he’s not floppy like a rag doll.
The other fifty percent of your baby’s snoozing consists of active sleep. This sleep is characterized by sudden bursts of brain activity called REM (Rapid Eye Movement), and it occurs between periods of quiet sleep. REM sleep is when your baby’s dreams are spun and his deep memory centers organize all his new experiences of the day. In active sleep, your baby has irregular breathing, sudden twitches, limp dangling limbs that feel like overcooked spaghetti, and, most spectacularly, he makes tiny heart-melting smiles. Contrary to myth, these grins are not caused by gas; rather, your baby is practicing what will soon become his most charming and powerful social tool—his smile.
Adults enjoy a full two hours of REM when we sleep. By comparison, your new baby revels in almost eight hours of REM every day. Why do babies have so much more REM than we do? No one knows for sure, but one theory posits that they need much more time to review the day because so many experiences are new to them. It’s as if their brains are saying, “Wow! So much new stuff today, and I want to remember everything!” By comparison, most of an adult’s day is so routine that our brains fast-forward through this period of review, as if to say, “I can skip all that. I know it already.”
Sleeping obviously is not a time of alertness, but it’s not “coma” time either. You are aware of many things around you while you snooze. For example, you probably have no trouble hearing the phone ring in the middle of the night and even when you sleep on the edge of the bed you rarely fall out of it.
Babies, too, receive a constant flow of information from the world around them while they slumber. That’s why your baby may experience their still bed and the extreme quiet of your home as disturbing understimulation.
The waves of quiet and active sleep that your infant moves through take place within larger cycles of deep and light sleep. These repeat, like the tides, over and over again, all night long. Your baby cycles between deep and light sleep about every sixty minutes. Infants with good state control and mellow temperaments can often stay asleep during their lightest sleep, and even if they wake up, they usually fall right back to sleep. However, babies with poor self-calming abilities and challenging temperaments often have trouble staying asleep when they enter their light-sleep periods. During this phase of sleep, they may be so close to wakefulness that the added stimulation of hunger, gas, noise, or startle may be enough to rouse them to alertness or even agitated crying.
When it comes to sleeping, you and your baby are a team, and you will both have to be flexible to make it work. However, as every mother knows, for the first four to six months, you will be the team member who bends the most. You will rearrange your priorities, put off chores, and try to sleep in synch with your baby’s schedule.
But don’t despair. There are five specific ways you can nudge your baby into a better sleeping schedule during these early months: the 5 “S’s.” These womb sensations will keep your infant’s calming reflex turned on and, when they’re used at night, they may even keep him soothed until daybreak.
1. Swaddle—
Tight wrapping prevents your baby’s accidental whacks and disturbing startles. Just by swaddling your baby, you may increase his sleeping periods from three to four or even six hours at a stretch. Remember, his blanket must stay very snug for it to work all through the night.
Karen’s son, Connor, was three months old (and seventeen pounds!), but he still had trouble sleeping more than three hours at a stretch:
“When I put Connor down after nursing, he would struggle and squirm for over half an hour until he finally settled down to sleep. He hadn’t been swaddled since he was a newborn, but Dr. Karp suggested I try again.
“I was surprised that he not only accepted the swaddling (after a little struggling) but settled down immediately and slept one hour more than usual. Wrapping also extended his daytime sleeping from fifteen-minute catnaps to one-to-two-hour luxurious naps, morning and afternoon.
“I was delighted with this improvement, until a friend came by the next week and showed me that I was still swaddling Connor too loosely. She taught me how to do it tighter and he began sleeping eight hours straight at night!”
2. Side—
Although the side and stomach are the best positions to use for soothing a fussy baby, the back is the only position you should use when you put your baby down to sleep. The only exceptions to this are allowing very restless babies to sleep sitting, strapped into a fully reclined swing or the rare medical conditions that might make a baby’s doctor recommend tummy sleeping (discussed in Appendix A).
Most babies sleep better when a harsh, continuous white noise plays near their bassinet. A womb sound CD drowns out other distracting noises and have a profoundly lulling effect. As with swaddling, the mere addition of white noise to your baby’s nursery may extend his sleep by an hour or two.
4. Swing—
The movement of a swing (and to a lesser extent, a vibrating seat) can help your baby nap better and sleep longer at night. Most babies don’t need to swing all night to sleep well, but I know many parents whose babies sleep well only when they are allowed to fully reclined swing all night during their first months of life.
5. Suck—
Sucking on a breast or pacifier may help your baby fall asleep and prevent SIDS, but it won’t really help him stay in deep sleep.
Even babies who have never experienced the 5 “S’s” can benefit from their sleep-enhancing effects. Don’t be concerned if your baby initially resists them. If you patiently persist, you’ll be surprised by your success.
All children eventually must learn to fall asleep on their own and to put themselves back to sleep when they wake during the night. In my experience, by three months most babies are ready to learn how to do this and should be placed in the crib sleepy but semi-awake.
I know that the parents of infants under three months are warned by some baby book authors that using nighttime sleep aids like the 5 “S’s” will spoil their babies and make them abnormally dependent. I couldn’t disagree more! For nine months before your baby was born, your womb surrounded him with sensations like the 5 “S’s” every second of every day. That’s why all babies sleep better and longer with a couple of “S’s” to keep them company during the long night. But don’t worry—by the time your little one is four months old, you can start weaning him off them without difficulty.
The first “S” you’ll wean is swinging. Usually, by two to three months, you can reduce the swing speed to the slowest setting. (Only use a fully reclined bed swing during the baby’s first month.) A few days later, if your baby is still sleeping well, let him sleep in the nonmoving swing. Finally, a few days later, if he still is sleeping soundly, move him to the bassinet.
The next “S” for you to phase out is sucking, usually between four to six months (although some love to suck for more than a year). Babies love to suck on the breast, and once they are nursing well you can introduce a nighttime pacifier. Doctors have noticed that babies who fall asleep sucking on pacifiers—even if the baby drops it soon after sleep begins—have a lower risk of SIDS!
Every once in a while, sensitive babies may wake and cry when the pacifier falls from their mouths. If that happens to your little one, you can help her learn how to keep the pacifier in the mouth more securely by following the “reverse psychology” advice on this page.
Next, many parents wean the swaddling. After around four months, try wrapping your baby snuggly—but with one arm out. He should be able to suck his fingers and soothe himself. If he sleeps just as well that way try putting him to bed with no bundling. However, if he starts waking up more, take a step back and return to wrapping both arms down for another month. Try the one-armed wrap every month until your baby shows you he can sleep well unswaddled.
The very last “S” you’ll wean is rumbling, white noise sound. Over a period of two weeks you can gradually lower the volume of your womb sound CD until it is so low you can simply turn it off.
In general, my little patients are out of their swings by three to four months, out of the swaddle by four to seven months (a handful have continued until ten months) and sleeping in a quiet room sometime after twelve months. (The shhhh noise is the last “S” to be dropped because it is so easy, effective, and simple to control.)
When your sweet baby goes all night without any of the “S’s,” give him a diploma. Finally, he has fully graduated from the fourth trimester and is ready to really get going on his life adventure!
New parents are often confused about the importance of putting their baby on a schedule. Should schedules be avoided or embraced? Like so many other child-rearing issues, there’s more than one right answer.
Toddlers and young children love routines. They feel secure and safe when they know what’s going to happen. In another year or two, you’ll probably have a bedtime ritual: “blankie,” warm milk, and Goodnight Moon to guide your sweet child into peaceful sleep—every night.
Similarly, flexible eating/sleeping schedules can be a great help to young babies and their parents. That’s especially true if you have twins, older children, if you’re working out of the house, and/or you’re a single parent.
But before you try to put your new baby on a schedule, you should know that scheduling is a fairly new parenting concept. Mothers in the past didn’t feed their babies according to the time on the sundial. And many moms today don’t feel right trying to fit their baby into a preset mold.
I am not saying it is wrong to try to put your one-month-old baby on a schedule. Just as long as you understand that babies have only been “asked” to bend themselves to our clock-driven schedules over the past hundred years, and many babies are simply too immature to do it.
Your baby’s receptiveness to being put on a schedule depends upon his ability to handle delayed gratification. In other words, how good is he at holding off his need for food or sleep? Some newborns are easily distracted, but others take months before they can ignore their brain’s demands for milk or rest. The parents of these babies must patiently delay their desire to get their infants on a schedule until their babies are ready for one.
That said, if you want to try your baby on a schedule after one to two months, the best way to begin is by increasing the time between his daytime feedings to three hours. Of course, if he’s hungry before two hours are up (and you can’t soothe him any other way) forget the schedule and feed him. Also, wake him up and feed him if he goes more than four hours without crying for food. Babies who go too long without food during the day often wake up and feed more at night.
The next step in scheduling is to train your infant to fall asleep without a nipple in his mouth. After his feeding, play with him for a little while before you put him to sleep. That will begin to teach him he can put himself to sleep. If he immediately passes out after you fill his belly with warm milk, that’s okay, just jostle him until he opens his eyes. Then lay him down and let him float back into sleep. With patience over the next month or two, this will help your baby develop the ability to put himself to sleep.
It’s easier to establish a schedule if you follow the same pattern every day. After your baby is a month old, start this reassuring nighttime routine:
low lights
toasty bath
loving massage with heated oil
some warm milk
cozy swaddle
a lullaby … softly sung
and
gentle white noise playing in the background
Within a short period of time, the constant association of these experiences to your baby’s sleep time will work almost like hypnosis. As soon as you start the routine he’ll say to himself, “Wow, I feel sleepy already!”
Most infants automatically fall into a regular pattern after a month or two; however, if you can’t wait to establish a more predictable routine, feel free to give scheduling a try.
If, on the other hand, he seems to resist being molded to your schedule, I encourage you to respond to your tiny baby’s needs with promptness and love; you can always try the schedule again in a week. The bottom line is that your job as a parent is to adapt to the needs of your newborn, not the other way around.
Here are a few more tips to help your baby sleep longer:
These steps can increase your baby’s daytime eating and nighttime sleeping as he reaches the end of the fourth trimester:
One thing that will not help your baby sleep better is feeding him rice cereal at bedtime. While it is true that some nighttime formula can help a breast-fed baby sleep longer, repeated scientific studies have proved that rice cereal does not prolong a baby’s sleep. And why should it? From a nutritional point of view, it makes no sense that four to six ounces of milk (with all its fat and protein) would leave a baby hungry but a few spoons of rice starch would keep him satisfied all night.
If you have any doubts at all that your infant is getting enough to eat, ask your doctor to weigh him to make sure that he’s thriving.
Parents are often told to keep their baby awake during the day in the hope of getting him tired and making him want to sleep longer at night. Although this sounds logical, keeping a tired baby awake often makes him miserable, overtired, and thus worsens his sleep at night. In fact, not only should you let your newborn sleep during the day but you should give him motion while he naps (in a swing, a bouncy chair, or on you in a baby sling). In my experience, babies who are carried (“fed” with nourishing touch and motion) throughout the day are often calmer (less “hungry” for that stimulation) at night.
Reducing the lights in your house as evening comes also gives your baby the signal it’s time for sleep. Low lights quiet a baby’s nervous system and prepare him to relax. Many hospital nurseries have an evening routine of dimming the lights and covering the incubators of premature babies to block the light and help them get into their parents’ day/night rhythm.
Mabel, the mother of four daughters, piqued my curiosity when she mentioned that her pet theory about the cause of colic was electricity! She said, “I noticed my kids are more stimulated and have a harder time falling asleep when we keep the house well lit in the evening. I think the artificially long ‘daytime’ we create with electric lights tricks them into believing it’s still time to play. Our kids consistently sleep better when we dim the lights at night or use candles.”
Thou shalt sleep with thy fathers.
Deuteronomy 31:16
Since mankind’s earliest days, parents and babies have slept right by each other for mutual protection, warmth, and to make nighttime feedings convenient. Japanese parents traditionally sleep with their baby between them, safe as a valley protected by two great mountain ranges. They don’t question whether a mother and infant should be together all night; they consider themselves to be two parts of one person and therefore they should be separated as little as possible. Mayan families are very social and for them the shared bed is a time to be together. These parents believe making their baby sleep alone is an unfair hardship.
As recently as the late 1800’s, American children usually slept in bed with their parents. However, at the start of the twentieth century, U.S. parents were encouraged to stop sharing the bed. They were warned it might spread illness, spoil children, or cause them to suffocate. So we moved our babies to their own cribs, and eventually to their own rooms. Today, Americans see our children’s sleep as a time for them to begin learning about privacy and self-reliance. And some view sharing the bedroom as a parental sacrifice or flirting with an unhealthy habit.
But the resistance to room sharing is finally changing as evidence mounts that it’s actually good for babies.
The research on room sharing shows that not only is it a convenience for feeding your baby (you don’t have to get out of your bed and toddle down a cold hallway), but it is also safer. Studies show that during the first four to six months, just having your baby in a bassinet next to your bed reduces the risk of SIDS.
As breast-feeding continues its rise in popularity, nursing mothers appreciate the cozy convenience of having their baby nearby. Furthermore, non-European immigrants to the United States have introduced a potpourri of cultural traditions—most of which encourage the intimacy of room sharing.
Room sharing doesn’t always fit the needs and lifestyles of contemporary parents. One mother in my practice said, “My husband just can’t sleep well with our four-week-old in the room.” However, many parents find they sleep more peacefully knowing their baby is right next to their bed. And the white noise from the womb sound CD often helps parents fall back to sleep faster after they give the baby a feeding.
Sleeping right next to your baby is a natural continuation of the womb experience. It provides him the reassuring sound of your breathing and scent, and it helps mold his breathing and sleep pattern. Additionally, after the rigors of pregnancy it’s an abrupt change for you to be far away from your infant, connected by only an intercom. One mother who worked long hours shared, “Sleeping with my baby in a co-sleeper next to me lets me make up some time I couldn’t spend with her during the day.”
Enjoy this sweet, fleeting opportunity of intimacy. If you plan to eventually move your baby out of your bedroom, it’s easiest to do so by five to six months of age, before he gets used to this bedtime routine. You can still end room sharing after that time, but in general, the longer you wait the tougher it is for your baby to make the switch.
Some parents not only room share, but bed share with their new baby. This is clearly a SIDS risk if the parents are sleep deprived, cigarette smokers, inebriated, very obese, or share the bed with other children.
The more you read books and blogs about little babies, the more you’ll notice some conflicting opinions as to whether or not bed sharing is a risk when these factors are not present. However, since new parents are usually exhausted, most pediatricians feel it’s best to err on the side of caution and recommend having babies sleep next to the bed (in a bassinet or co-sleeper) not in it.
In 1999, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warned parents about the possible dangers of bed sharing with children less than two years old. Their conclusion was that parents should never sleep with them in their beds.
Of course, our highest priority must be to prevent any child deaths from unsafe sleep practices, but banning bed sharing until after two is unrealistic and unnecessary. For example, 80 percent of the deaths in the CPSC study could have been avoided by filling the spaces around the bed (to prevent head wedging) and by avoiding waterbeds.
Most doctors recommend no bed sharing until around six months. By then, infants are usually strong enough to move their face away from puffy pillows and comforters and the arms of exhausted or obese parents. They are also better able to cry loudly and get their parent’s attention.
No approach is perfect for all families, but the vast majority of infant sleep deaths are preventable—with just a few precautions.
1. Only let your baby sleep on the back.
2. Breast-feed if you can.
3. Don’t smoke, drink, or use drugs! (And don’t let others smoke in your home.)
4. Don’t overheat (try to have the room 65–72 degrees, avoid overdressing, and cover your baby’s head).
5. Use snug swaddles for all naps/nights to keep your baby from accidentally rolling to the stomach or into a dangerous position.
6. Offer a pacifier at bedtime (wait until the nursing is well established).
7. Never sleep with your baby on a couch or waterbed.
8. If you choose to bed share, always use a co-sleeper attachment to keep your baby protected.
9. Remove pillows, toys, bumpers, and thick or loose bedding that could cause smothering.
10. Practice tummy time to help your baby develop strong muscles to move away from choking risks.
The Whys About the “S’s”: Questions Parents Ask About Sleeping
1. Every time I put my sleeping baby down, he’s up and yelling in minutes. Why?
Even though your baby is asleep when you put him down, he still has some awareness of his surroundings. To him there’s too big a difference between your arms and a quiet, still bassinet.
Try using the 5 “S’s” to help your baby make the transition to his crib. Swaddling, white noise, and swinging lessen the abrupt change from your cuddle to his cradle and can eliminate one or two night wakings.
2. When my baby falls asleep after a feeding, should I burp him and risk waking him up?
Yes. You should burp him, to keep him from spitting up in his sleep, and change his diaper too, to prevent a diaper rash. After a feeding, most babies feel a little “drunk” and usually go back to sleep quickly, especially if you’re using the 5 “S’s.”
By the way, it is also a good idea to put ointment on your baby’s bottom at night to protect his skin from any pee or poop that comes out while he’s asleep.
3. I worry about overbundling my baby in the warm weather. How can I tell if he’s getting overheated at night?
It’s quite easy to know if your baby is overbundled: feel his ears and toes. If they are red, sweaty, or very warm, he’s too hot; if they are cold and bluish, he’s too chilly; and if they feel “fresh” (not hot, not cold, but a tiny bit on the cool side), his body temperature is just right.
Even on the hottest summer days, your baby will benefit from swaddling. Dress him in a diaper only and wrap him in a very light cotton blanket.
4. Can a baby have trouble sleeping because he’s going through a growth spurt?
Yes. Babies grow tremendously fast during the first few months, doubling their weight in about six months. Some babies do all this growing at an even, steady pace, but many babies grow in fits and starts (growth spurts and plateaus). In the midst of a growth spurt, your baby may wake up more frequently and yell for a meal. (That’s really demand feeding!)
5. Will my baby sleep better if he takes both breasts or just one, so he gets the hindmilk?
Unlike formula, which doesn’t change from the first drop to the last, breast milk changes greatly during the course of a feeding. The milk that spurts out for the first five minutes is loaded with protein and antibodies, and it’s more watery to satisfy your baby’s thirst. By the time the breast is almost empty (after ten to fifteen minutes) the milk slowly dripping out is as rich as half and half. This creamy, sweet dessert is called the hindmilk.
Some experts tell mothers not to switch their breasts during a feeding. They worry that feeding just a few minutes on each side will deprive a baby of the hindmilk, which they consider nature’s way of making babies satisfied and sleepy (like the drowsiness we feel after a heavy meal).
Other experts believe babies get more milk if their moms switch breasts during a meal. They advise mothers to feed for about seven minutes on one side and then, after that breast has released its quick, easy milk, switch to the other side, which is full and waiting to be emptied.
I recommend this to my patients: Experiment to find what’s best for you and your baby. If one breast keeps him happy for two hours in the day and sleeping four hours at night, then there is no need for switching. However, if he feeds too often or is gaining weight too slowly, try giving him seven minutes on one side and then let him suck for ten to fifteen minutes, or longer, on the second side (that’s enough for him to fill up with the early milk from both breasts and still get the hindmilk from the second side).
6. Why does my baby always get up at the crack of dawn?
Even when babies are asleep they still feel, hear—and see! For many babies, the early-morning light filters through their closed eyes and thin skull and acts like an alarm clock. Fortunately, many of these babies can be coaxed to sleep a little longer by using blackout curtains to shut out the sun’s first rays; white-noise machines to help obscure the early-morning sounds of birds, dogs, traffic, and neighbors; or, by bringing them into bed with you for some cozy time.
Parents who can’t charm their infants back to sleep are often forced to wave good-bye to their warm beds and take their little “rooster babies” out for an early-morning constitutional. (Believe it or not, these strolls may become some of your most treasured memories of when your baby was little.)
7. Is it wrong to let my baby get used to sleeping in his infant carrier?
It’s almost impossible to keep your baby from falling asleep when you tote him around outside in an infant carrier. That’s because putting your baby in a carrier or a sling and taking him for a walk gives him three of his favorite sensations: jiggly motion, cuddling, and the rhythmic, soothing sound of your breathing. These devices are great ways to treat our babies to a sweet reminder of the fourth trimester.
So, don’t worry about accidentally teaching him bad habits. After the fourth trimester ends, your four-month-old baby will be able to entertain himself and it will be relatively easy to get him used to less contact—if that’s what you really want. (Truthfully, by then many parents love their carrier so much they want to “wear” their baby more and more.)
8. Is it okay to let my baby sleep on my chest?
In general, I don’t recommend this position. I once had a couple call me in the middle of the night when their four-week-old baby fell off his father’s chest and hit the wall next to the bed. (The exhausted duo had slipped into a sound sleep.) Fortunately, he wasn’t hurt, but a fall like that could have caused a serious injury.
We went through fire and water almost in trying to procure for him a natural sleep. We swung him in blankets, wheeled him in little carts, walked the room with him by the hour, etc., etc., but it was wonderful how little sleep he obtained after all. He always looked wide awake and as if he did not need sleep.
G. L. Prentiss, The Life and Letters of Elizabeth Prentiss, 1822
Poor Elizabeth Prentiss could have learned a thing or two from the parents whose stories below reveal how they transformed their nighttime experience with their babies from getting “nickel and dimed” to money in the bank:
Debra and Andrew swaddled their twins, Audrey and Sophia, from the very first days in their lives. Swaddling prolonged their children’s nighttime sleep. Even at four months old, the twins still preferred being swaddled. It helped them sleep a full eight hours every night.
Debra, Andrew, Audrey, and Sophia
As she reached the four-week mark, our daughter Eve became more wakeful and more distressed with the world around her. When she wasn’t eating or sleeping, she was fussing—and at times she screamed inconsolably. One night she yelled so much her nose got stuffed and she began to snort. I called Dr. Karp’s office for advice. As I spoke with his nurse, Louise, I cradled Eve in my arms and rested them on top of the dryer. The noise, vibration, and warmth of the dryer calmed her, allowing me to talk for a few minutes.
Over the next couple of weeks, as I became skilled at using the “S’s” Nurse Louise had described that night, Eve rewarded us with six-to-eight-hour periods of uninterrupted sleep every night. At six months, we were still swaddling Eve at night but by then we would let one of her arms stay out so she could suck her fingers.
Shari, Michael, Hillary, Noah, and Eve
Didi and Richard were exhausted from Cameron’s hourly waking—all night long. They tried keeping their six-week-old up more during the day in the hope he would sleep better at night, but that just seemed to get him overtired and make him cry even more. At night, they tried to calm him with a bath, the vacuum, or a ride in the car, all of which worked for a while but Cameron would get upset again as soon as the “entertainment” stopped.
Then, they discovered their son liked to sleep tightly wrapped and seated in the swing next to a white-noise machine with the sound cranked up loud. However, they worried about leaving him in there, so after he fell asleep they would put him back into his bassinet. Cameron slept better that way, but still awoke every three or four hours.
Finally, Didi and Richard stumbled onto the secret for getting Cameron to sleep longer. One night when he was in the swing his exhausted parents fell asleep and let him stay in the fully reclined swing, strapped in, the white noise CD on, all night long. It made a huge difference. With that nighttime assistance he began to sleep a six-hour stretch, eat, and then go back down for another three hours!
When Wyatt was two months old, his parents—Lise, a nurse, and Aaron, a physician—noticed he would sleep five hours at night when wrapped and serenaded by white noise but only three hours when his arms were free and the room was quiet.
Lise said, “I was happy to see how well our son did with swaddling. But I still worried he would get ‘addicted’ to it and have trouble sleeping unwrapped when he got older. So as soon as he turned three months, I began putting him to bed unwrapped.
“Everything seemed fine, until a month later when Wyatt turned four months. Out of the blue, he began waking every two hours through the night—screaming! One friend told me he was teething, but Tylenol didn’t help. My husband guessed he was going through a growth spurt, but rice cereal didn’t help either. At Wyatt’s four-month checkup, I told Dr. Karp about my frustration and fatigue. He suggested I stop the medicine and cereal and try the wrapping and white noise again. To be honest, I thought Wyatt was too old for swaddling, but I was desperate.
“Within two nights, he went from waking up and shrieking five times a night to waking once, chowing down his milk, and then immediately sacking out again until 6 AM! He loved the waterfall sound of our sound machine. I played it loud for him for the first hour and then kept it turned on medium all night long. (It helped me to sleep, too!)
Everything worked so well that I continued the routine until one night, when Wyatt was six months old, I skipped putting him in his cocoon and still enjoyed a deep, beautiful sleep.”
Lise, Aaron, Wyatt, and Rachel
I never would have believed it, but wrapping was the key to everything! Our first son, Eli, never resisted being bundled up, but Benji fought it with all his strength. However, only after he was tightly swaddled did the rocking, pacifier, and shushing calm him.
After a few days of practicing the 5 “S’s,” I could put Benji down for hours at a time with no problem. Now at six weeks of age, and at the peak of what should be his worst time, he’s a pretty easy baby. He takes long naps and sleeps for seven to nine hours at night (with one very brief feeding).
For naps, I let him sleep in the swing—on the fast speed—fully reclined with the white noise CD as loud as a shower.
I let him nap frequently because I’ve noticed that Ben gets overstimulated and has a hard time settling himself if I let him have long awake periods during the day. So, when he starts getting cranky, I take that as my cue to put him back in the swing and do my womb imitation.
I recommend this method for anyone with a “difficult” baby. I can’t imagine what my mental state would be if I were still carrying him all day and rocking him all night. It has made an enormous difference for both me and Benji, as well as my first guys, Steve and Eli!
