I woke at dusk to the bare chest of a semi-chilly, gorgeous vampire. We were in his bed, because I hadn’t slept in mine since we’d stepped up our relationship a week ago to include as much sexy time as possible, because…have you met Jaxon? No? Well, let’s just say I’d gotten used to waking up with him. And not sleeping with him before sleeping with him.
He was watching me.
“Hello.” I still hadn’t worked out whether I should say good morning or good evening. Easier to keep it simple.
“Hello.” His morning voice was husky and deep, sexier—I wouldn’t have thought it possible—than his regular voice. “Your phone is blinking.”
Of course it was.
I usually left it face down because Luke had installed an app that worked around my do not disturb feature and made my phone strobe when he called or texted or left a message. And it didn’t stop until I entered a six digit code that he chose when he left the first message of the day.
He said I’d ignored one call too many and this was my reward. Today it was face up and lighting up the darkness.
My brother really didn’t have a concept of time.
Moaning, I shielded my eyes. “One of these days, I’m going to kill him.” But I picked up my cell and stared. “Eleven texts, nine missed calls, and a voicemail.” I listened to the voicemail first because I could listen to it without the code.
“Hails!” His voice was a screechy shriek. “I’m desperate. Took on a big gig and need your help! Your muscle! Your support! Honestly, come quick! Kendra’s already here.” Every word was high pitched and a decibel louder than the last until by the time it ended, I was holding the cell away from my ear. “Help!”
I looked back at Jax who’d started kissing my shoulder and now stopped.
“I have to go.” I sat up and by default, it pushed him away. I might’ve practically moved in here—had clothes in his closet and a toothbrush in his bathroom—but I wasn’t quite ready to call it what it was. I needed to keep my place because I needed the time to work it all out. Baby steps.
But right now, Luke needed me. I didn’t bother explaining why I needed to leave,because he’d heard the message with his vamp hearing.
Then again, with how high Luke’s voice had been, the whole house of enforcers had almost definitely heard it too. I hurried into the shower.
This last week had been a doozy. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. Howard had gone home to Jersey. I didn’t have a particular feeling about it, but Kendra was still in the throes of new relationship bliss and when he left, it took her a few days to remember that cellphones had a video call feature, which took her phone sex with him to a whole new level. I’d reminded her planes flew between here and there, which would make actual sex easier. One of these days.
Anyway, she’d set him up with a witch in Jersey who agreed to help him with his skips—for a fee, of course.
The shower door opened, and Jax stepped into the stall behind me. “What are you doing?” I didn’t mind, really, but I didn’t have time since Luke was so frantic.
“Just starting the day.” His innocence didn’t extend to his penis that pressed intimately into my back as he reached around me for the soap.
The feel of his flesh against mine was so tempting. It felt amazing, like we were meant to be together, which was true since we were fated mates.
Luke was waiting on me, though. It would’ve been selfish… to take more than a couple kisses. To give into the desires to indulge in the pleasures my mate offered. I turned to face him, torn.
Ah, to indulge or not to indulge.
“Jax…” I glanced down, which was a mistake. A long and girthy mistake. A moan escaped me.
But no. Luke never let me down, and I wasn’t the kind of woman who put her man before the people she’d had in her life before the man appeared. Then again, this was Luke we were talking about. If the roles were reversed, Luke would definitely indulge. “What the heck, Luke can wait a little longer.”
Jax flattened me against the cold shower wall and claimed my mouth in a fiery, passionate kiss. The rest of the world melted away. There was just me, Jax, and Jax’s little undertaker. Well, not little. Definitely not little.
Twenty minutes later, we were out of the shower, and I dressed and dried my hair. By the time I finished, Jax was beside me, dressed and smelling like a dream. “I thought I’d tag along.”
Typical Jax. But if Luke needed help, then two vampires—no, four since Paige and Ransom were sure to be coming along—was better than one. “Great. Let’s go.”
Ransom drove with Paige riding shotgun and Jax sat beside me in the back, holding my hand, using his thumb to stroke the inside of my palm, stirring up all kinds of emotions. This man had all kinds of magic in him. Touch was but one.
As we drove through the city, lights flashed past the car indicating that the city life was alive tonight. Saturday nights brought the people out. If we were hunting rogue vampires, tonight would’ve been a good one.
We weren’t doing anything that exciting. We were heading toward Luke’s gallery to see what drama was unfolding there.
Over the last week, we’d continued chasing skips and questioning them about the person who might have been targeting us and other skip chasers. So far, we’d come up empty. We’d used intimidation and interrogation, glamours and compulsions. Still. A big fat lot of nothing. Well, not nothing. We’d made a lot of money.
But the lack of info was frustrating and disappointing, to say the least.
Ransom pulled up in front of the gallery, and I was the first one out of the car and in the front door. Not that it mattered, but I needed to show Luke I was here for him. Despite my new personal life issues.
After the obligatory hug and air kiss, I looked at Luke, noticed things about him that normally escaped me because I loved him. His coif of hair was in an artfully arranged man bun and he wore loafers sans socks with his Miami Vice/Don Johnson white suit and coral t-shirt combo, and he was fragranced with what smelled suspiciously like my Kate Spade eau de toilet. But it was the worry lines in his face that worried me.
“Luke, you have to calm down. All the moisturizer and hyaluronic acid in the world aren’t going to get rid of those stress lines if you don’t chill.”
He shot me a side-eye then a grin. “I’ll Botox later. Right now, I’m in the midst of a crisis.” He drew out the final S so it sounded like a hiss.
“What’s the crisis, Luke?” He was going to have to ignore my dry skepticism. He had a penchant for the dramatics. I doubted his crisis was literally an emergency.
“The crisis is that I, Luke Whitfield, master of the party, king of the promenade, have agreed to host the annual Philadelphia School fundraiser which this year is a masquerade ball. And my location—that country club bitch—fell through with four days to the gala.”
“I thought you said it was a ball?”
“A ball, my poor uneducated sister, is a gala when the most influential and wealthy patrons in the city are on the guest list.”
Uh-oh. Luke was huffier than usual. That meant his struggle for control was very much real. He was about to lose it.
“Okay. Have it here.” Problem solved. “What do we have to do?”
“Wha—?” After sucking in a deep breath, Luke began rattling off a list. “aterers, decorations, flowers, a band since the country club employed a house band, and bar service. I need these paintings moved, and there is a process.” He spoke with bite. “It’s a bit more than yanking them off the wall and stacking them in the back. They need to be wrapped and prepared for storage.” I nodded. I knew that. . “And I need to send each of the guests a new invitation that must be printed still with the new address.” He squeaked. “They’ll have to be hand delivered since it’s in four days.”
“All right.” I looked at Kendra. “Kendra can start making calls. Ransom will help your staff with the paintings.” I leaned in to chat a bit quieter with my brother. “That keeps Ransom right here where you like him. Just saying.” Then I straightened. “Paige and I will help with flowers and decorations.” I held up a finger. “Securing a vendor, not actually arts and crafts.” With Luke, every distinction was vital. Had I not added that clause, he would’ve handed me a glue gun, some glitter, a box of flowers, and expected miracles. That was not happening. “And you can work with Jax on the caterers and bar service.” Jax had access to all manner of bartenders and servers since he owned a club.”
Luke nodded. Maybe even smiled. Sometimes, he just needed someone to show him the plan. “Okay. Yes. I’ll hire a courier to pick up the invitations and hand deliver them.”
When we had all the details in order, Luke hugged each of us. He got around to me for my second go, and held me at arm’s length. “I knew you’d come through for me.”
“Of course.” He’d been a wonderful brother every year of my life. I could do this for him.
He nodded. “Thank you for saving me.” He grinned. “Again.”
It wasn’t terribly late by the time we left, so we stopped at Catch and Release for a drink and a dance. This one was a slow one. A head on Jax’s shoulder while he swayed with me and John Legend crooned in the background slow one. A soft kiss in a dark shadows slow one.
This mating bond—whatever it meant—attraction was strong. I wanted to be with him. Wanted to fall into his arms and never leave there.
And like he could read my mind, he bent his head to whisper in my ear. “Become my mate.”
I sighed. Not because of the words, but because of the way he said them. Voice low, husky, aroused. It did… things to me. Made my fake heart throb and my very real panties damp. But then the words broke through the lusty haze.
“Jax.”
“Shh. Just think about it. Don’t think about the fact that we have a timeline. Think about how right it feels.” He put his finger over my lips then replaced it with a kiss. When he pulled back, he leaned his forehead against mine. The moves in this guy’s arsenal were potent, and day after day, wore down my defenses.
But the hard part of me, stubborn and resistant to the idea of belonging to him from now until forever—which was a lot longer now that I’d been turned—wanted the ability to make the choice unruffled by his kisses, by the sea of emotion that shouldn’t have been so potent.
“I can’t do this.” I turned and walked out of the club.
It took a second or two for him to follow me to his SUV and we climbed in. He drove silently home, emotions running a marathon in my mind. When we climbed out, he came around to my side and stared for a second.
“I’m going to stay at home tonight,” I said while looking anywhere but at Jax.
He nodded. “I figured.”
I sighed. “Jax…”
“The emotions are bigger because of the bond and that we haven’t completed the ritual.” He kissed my forehead. “It’s okay. I’ve learned how to be patient.”
His understanding only made me need to get farther away because I was close to saying the hell with it and braiding my life into his whether I was ready or not.
“Thank you.” I wasn’t sure for what I was thanking him, but the moment required I say something and shouting my undying devotion seemed a bit counterintuitive to my current plight.
He smiled at me like he understood every emotion I was fighting. Maybe he did. “I’ll call you later. Say goodnight?”
I nodded even though the rational part of my mind said that a call would cloud my judgment, said he was trying to sway me toward him and he was doing whatever he thought I would fall for. But he wasn’t trying to trick me. He wasn’t being duplicitous. He simply wanted to be my mate.
“I would like that.” He smiled and chewed his lower lip then turned to go into his house. “Jax?”
He looked back over his shoulder. “Yeah?”
Maybe I just wanted to see his face one more time. Or maybe I just wanted him to look at me. I didn’t know. “Is the indecision supposed to be bigger, too? Is my confusion part of the process?”
He smiled, shook his head. “No, you’re supposed to be madly in love with me and falling at my feet.” If only he knew how close I was. And the way he stepped closer to me again, cupped my cheek with his hand and stroked my skin didn’t make it easier. “Because it’s everything I can do to not fall to my knees and beg you to love me, to want me, to mate with me.” And then he kissed me with all the tenderness and gentility a kiss should have when it meant something solemn, something honest.
It scared the bejesus out of me. Because I wanted the honesty. I wanted the emotion. I wanted him. And that was why I turned and went home, walked into my house and sat on the sofa staring at the nothingness of a white wall in my living room.
I cleared my thoughts, tried like hell to put them away, until finally I gave up, popped a melatonin gummy with no idea if it’d work or not, and went to bed. Just as I was about to fall off to sleep, the front door hinge squealed as it opened then again when it closed. I listened, hoping it wasn’t Jax and hoping it was.
The footsteps were too light, too close. It was Paige and she walked into the guest room and closed the blinds. His solution to keeping me safe when he wasn’t here. He knew I wouldn't mind Paige. I would’ve bristled more if he’d sent Grim, Nash, or Ransom.
I was glad that Jax had respected my space, but lonely without his arms around me. My gosh. I was all conundrum.