“Set the cradle in the middle.” Sophie’s left hand held her chin as she pointed with her right. “And the bales of hay can go on either side. We need them for Mary and Joseph to sit on.” Sam hoisted a bale and set it down. She let her gaze fall a little too long on his biceps.
“Sophie?” Sam looked at her. “Did you hear me?”
She gave her head a quick shake, dislodging her thoughts. “I’m sorry. No.” She bit her lip.
“What were you deep in thought about? I’m sure there are a lot of details for tonight’s performance.”
“It wasn’t that.” She held his gaze. “It
was. . .”
Sam sat on one of the hay bales. “Do you feel like telling me?” Would she let him in?
“I was thinking about us.” She let her eyes fall to the floor. “About before.” Sam leaned his back against the prop, gripping the front of the hay bale.
“Before I bailed on you? No pun intended.” He grimaced.
She caught his gaze. “Where did things go wrong? I thought everything was great between us. You proposed. I accepted. We set a date. I’ve wracked my brain for something, any little detail, that would have turned you from me.” She started pacing the floor. Hesitating, she scrunched her lips into a thought before speaking
“Why did you leave me? What did I do wrong? I mean, I’m not perfect, but we had our lives planned out.”
Sam heaved out a heavy breath. “You don’t know how many times I’ve relived that moment. So many times, I stared at my phone, wanting to call you. Beg you back.” He bounced his knees.
“And yet you didn’t.” She pressed her knuckles to her lips.
“Sophie, I was scared. I lost my job. I kept hearing my dad’s voice in my head telling me what a failure I was. I didn’t feel like I deserved you. Like if I stayed, I would bring you down. You had so many dreams. You deserved someone better than me.”
“And look how that turned out. I’m still hoping for a teaching job. And someone to love me.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She swiped at the moisture in her eyes. “At least you have Darby.”
Sam moved towards her. His heart was in his throat. He needed her to know how sorry he was. That now, looking back, and after spending these last few days together, he regretted how he handled things.
He put his hands on her shoulders. “I never meant to make you feel less than. You were everything to me.” He needed to stop talking before his voice betrayed the emotion welling in him. She was still everything to him. It was all he could do to not pull her into a hug. Baby steps. Take it slow. He pulled away. He had to step back from those eyes or any restraint he had would crumble.
“Sometimes I think that in spite of how I handled things, God had a plan all along.” Sophie leaned against the wall. “Who would have thought that I’d find joy in being a carpenter? That was thanks to Henry. And then to have been at the right place and time, as horrific as it was, to have been able to care for Darby.”
“And do you think God had anything to do with us both being at this Lodge at the same time?” Sophie crossed her arms. “I mean. I’m glad to see you are getting along well. You look so much more relaxed. And there’s no doubt you and Darby were made for each other.”
And you, Sophie, were made for me.
“Daddy?” Darby ran in and stopped. Her eyes travelled from him to Sophie. She put her hands on her hips are frowned. “What were you guys talking about, anyway?”
“Just having a little adult conversation, Sweet Pea. Come help us get the stage ready for your Nativity tonight.” Maybe now wasn’t the best time to ask Sophie to the ball.
* * *
Did that just happen? Sophie hid in the closet while she gathered the tub of costumes. How could he have a vulnerable moment, get close and then back off? That man was so exasperating! She lugged the tub out and thunked it on the ground. She removed the lid and started throwing costumes out on the stage, making sure they each had all their parts.
“Miss Sophie! I want to help.” Sophie handed Darby each piece, describing which character they went to. She pulled out the angel costume and pulled it over Darby’s head, carefully easing it over her two ponytails.
“Where are my wings? I has to have wings you know.” Sophie’s mouth turned up in a smile. It was hard to stay mad with that little girl around. She untied the ribbons and fastened the wings to her little body. Darby ran around in a circle, pretending to fly.
“Slow down little miss. We better take those off and go get dinner before the play.” Sam carefully removed them.
“Are you set, Sophie? Okay if we leave?” Sam’s eyebrows raised.
“Yeah. Sure. Thanks for your help.” And for clearing things up. “You’re bringing your guitar, right?” Sam nodded.
Sophie finished the last details and headed to her room. She picked up her phone and called for room service. Going to the dining hall surrounded by people—certain people, wasn’t where she wanted to be at the moment. Besides, she needed to collect her thoughts, try to put Sam out of her head, and make sure she was totally ready for tonight.
* * *
Sophie should feel nervous with all the hustle and bustle. Parents and family members were straggling in, expectations high. But this was her element. She loved pulling all the pieces together—the practice, the costumes, the set. The proud moment when it all came together.
She breathed out a little prayer. For your glory. . .
Megan helped coral all the kids behind the scenes, making sure all their costumes were straight, dabbing on bits of rouge and lip gloss.
Okay. Sophie let out a breath and smiled at them, giving a thumbs up.
“Welcome everyone. First, I’d like to thank all of you for entrusting your children to me this week. I think I’ve learned as much from them as they’ve learned from me.” Someone in the audience let out a whoop. She smiled.
“And now, let’s begin.” She lowered the lights and beckoned Bradley, a middle schooler to the stage.
“Caesar Augustus told everyone they had to be counted. And so, everybody had to travel to the town they were born in.”
Joseph led Mary who waddled in trying to hold the pillow under her gown.
“Come along Mary. We’ll be in Bethlehem soon.” As they walked down the center aisle, Joseph pretended to knock on doors.
“Can anybody let us stay here? My wife is gonna have a baby.”
They came to the stable where those dressed as cows and sheep stood, convincingly mooing and baaing. The audience laughed. Mary hid behind the set and dropped the pillow and returned.
“And Mary gave birth to a boy, and she wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger.”
“Shepherds were watching their sheep in the fields.” Several sheep started bleating as two shepherds shooed them with their crooks. “And suddenly there shone a bright light.”
Darby ran out before them, catching her halo as it tilted. “Hey! Look up! See that star shining? My dad made that for Miss Sophie.” How could Sophie have missed the beautifully hand carved star at the peak of the stable? A light shone through it, casting beams of light.
“Dudes, it’s Jesus! Come on. You gotta see him!” Darby waved them to the stable. The audience erupted in laughter.
Sam sat on a stool in front of them and strummed chords. The familiar words of Away in a Manger filled the air. Parents joined in as they watched their children do hand motions to the words.
Sophie looked at Sam. His easy, gentle way with the guitar. His deep voice leading the words. She felt her heart slowly shift. She wanted to be angry, but any bitterness evaporated when she looked at him. This. Joining together on a common goal. She wanted this forever.