16

JOHN AWOKE AT FIRST LIGHT, alarmed and anxious about getting home. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his shirt. He was staring out the window when he felt Ruth’s hand on his back. She mumbled something. He reached down and patted her hip.

“It’s very early,” he said. “Go back to sleep.”

She did.

Outside, he found the morning unclear, somehow milky. Certainly his perception was being affected by the quality of his thinking. He caught sight of a young eagle slicing through the haze over the pasture.

The rain during the night had been heavy. It had been more of a storm than he had expected or been aware of. Tree limbs were down in the road, garbage cans had been upset and their litter still blew about, and Oliver’s efforts on his fence had been erased.

At the house, Lisa was up and sitting at the kitchen table.

“Well, hello,” she said, leaning back in her chair.

“Morning, Lisa.” John was thrown by her being up but glad to find coffee made. He poured himself a mug. He didn’t want to talk.

“I’m glad you’re back safe and sound,” she said. “In one piece and all that.”

“This is the part where you tell me you’ve been up all night.”

“As a matter of fact—”

“May I remind you that I’m sixty-six years old?”

“So, I’m not supposed to be concerned because of your age. That was quite a storm.”

He sighed and grinned slightly. “Thanks for the concern. It’s good to know someone is worrying about you.”

“Where were you?”

He knew she knew. “I’m tired,” he said. He started for the glass door to the deck. “I’m sorry you were worried.”

“Were you with Oliver?”

Upon hearing this question, he understood that she knew more than that he had been with a woman. She knew that the woman was very young. “No, I was with a friend, a woman friend. But of course you know that.”

“How do you think this looks?”

“Tell me.”

“Dad, she’s half your age.”

“She’s less than half my fucking age and I don’t need to be reminded of it.”

“Dad—”

“Who the hell are you to stand in judgment of me?”

“I just—”

“Tell me, please. And tell me what’s going on around here. Tell me why I’m the only one happy that you’re pregnant.” His onslaught was calm and steady, but an onslaught nonetheless.

“We’re all happy,” she said.

If he’d had any doubts about the uneasiness surrounding her pregnancy, they were all but gone now. She showed no surprise or, more importantly, confusion at his accusation. He thought she shouldn’t know how to reply. He was sad.

Lisa collected herself. “Dad, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything. I was just worried. The storm was so bad.”

“I guess it was.” He looked over and saw that the sofa had been slept on.