31
OLIVER SAID NOTHING on the way back down the mountain. He sighed and made clicking sounds to fill the gaps when he couldn’t keep Katy talking. They reached the bottom and the main highway, then Katy and Oliver were silent all the way to the Turners’. John did his best not to speed.
When they walked in Lorraine was awake, in her wheelchair in the front room, but still in her gown and robe. John studied her face, concerned with her health, but she had only the look of someone who had overslept. Inwardly, he laughed at himself for trusting his diagnosis; what a doctor.
“Huzzah, she’s up,” said Oliver.
Katy gave her a hug and a kiss.
Lorraine adjusted her robe, smoothed it down to her knees. “So, where were you three off to?” she asked.
“Just out for a drive,” Oliver said.
“Nice morning for it,” she said. Then, “Anyone interested in an early lunch?”
“No, thank you,” John said, “but don’t let me stop you. Go ahead and eat. You must be starving.”
Lorraine rolled away into the kitchen. Katy tagged after her, trying to help by pushing.
John opened the glass door and sat on the steps leading down from the deck. Oliver came out and joined him.
“You okay?” Oliver asked.
“Yeah.”
“It’s pretty rough.”
John looked at him. “It’s that, all right.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Want to talk about anything? You really ought to learn to talk about things.”
“I’m too old to learn.” John looked into his friend’s eyes. “You?”
“Me what?”
“You want to talk about anything?”
Oliver looked at the beach and the sky. “It’s going to be a warm one.”
John lit a cigarette.
“We went to the doctor yesterday,” Oliver said.
John took a drag and tapped the ashes onto the step by his feet. “Yeah?”
“Everything’s okay.”
“Good.”
They sat watching the ocean. People appeared here and there on the beach. A large ship came into view. A squadron of pelicans skimmed the surf. John stepped on his cigarette.
“So, Lorraine is fine?” John said.
“Actually, it was my appointment,” said Oliver.
John nodded. He showed no surprise. There was no surprise to show. “And?”
“Seems I have a problem.”
John started to pull another cigarette from the pack but slid it back in, put the pack back in his breast pocket.
“Gastrointestinal lymphomas.”
John just looked at him.
“They thought it was an ulcer at first.”
John nodded.
“I’m glad all these tests are over.”
“I’m sure.” John put his arm around Oliver and pulled him close. “I didn’t notice you gone ever.”
“Newport’s not that far away.”
“I’m sorry, my friend.”
“Chemotherapy, they say.”
“Yep.” John rubbed his neck. “I am so sorry,” he said just under his breath.
“You think it’s worthwhile? The treatments, I mean.”
“Yes, I do.” John brought his arm back and clasped his hands in front of him.
“If you’re suggesting I pray, I’m afraid I can’t do it,” Oliver said.
John looked at his hands and smiled “I wasn’t hinting at anything.”
“I never developed a taste for the divine. Never quite able to make that ‘leap of faith.’”
“I don’t think you can be damned for being honest.”
“Let’s hope not. What was it Twain said? ‘Heaven for the climate; hell for the society’?”
“How’s Lorraine taking it?”
“She’s a trooper. She was upset. She had to take her sleeping pills last night. First time in a while.”
“What does she use?” John asked.
“You’d have to ask her.” Oliver stood. “Come on, let’s go back inside.”
John followed. Before he was through the door completely, he had his pack of cigarettes out and crushed in his fist. He tossed it into the wastebasket.
“What’s that all about?” Oliver asked.
“Just seems about time I quit.”
Katy came from the kitchen carrying a platter of sandwich quarters. Lorraine was behind her.
“I’m glad you ignored my claim of not being hungry,” John said.
“Well, it is approaching the lunch hour.”
John took a bite of a little sandwich and looked at Lorraine. “What sort of sleeping pills do you take?”
“I don’t know what they are. They’re in the medicine chest. I can go look.”
“Don’t bother,” John said. “It’s not important. I was just curious.”
“They sure knock me out.”
John walked toward the kitchen. “What is there to drink around here?” He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of orange juice.
Lorraine rolled in. “Oliver told you.”
“Yep, he told me.”
“What do you think?”
“What is there to think?”
“I know I sound stupid.”
“No, you sound concerned, worried. I know how you feel. Helpless, angry, hollow.” He downed a glass of juice. “I know my saying this doesn’t help at all.” He put the glass down. “Anybody out there want juice?” he called.
“No,” came the voices.
“What about you?” he asked Lorraine.
“No, thank you.” She sniffed a little.
“Maybe I should take Katy home and leave you two alone for a while.”
She nodded.
“I’m going to use the bathroom first. Tell Katy we’re about to go.”
In the bathroom, John opened the medicine cabinet but saw no medicine. Remembering Lorraine, he pulled open the lower cabinet under the sink. He found Seconal Sodium pulvules.