Chapter Twenty-Four

 

ANNA AND GERRY WERE DELIGHTED when end of term came round and Anton and Gideon arrived home for a month’s vacation. The house was bedlam again for the first few days of their arrival, as they raced madly up and down the stairs and out into the garden with doors being opened and shut with tremendous gusto. I helped Anna to pick up socks and shoes, together with various other garments, discarded from the young virile bodies of our effervescent and gregarious heroes, from various corners of their rooms and I thought Boarding schools were meant to make boys tidy ... Even Francesca lay in her cot, looking wide eyed at all the goings on and I’m sure, enjoying every minute of the fiasco ...and of course, the boys spoiled her rotten. ...and she loved it. After the first week, however, things gradually returned to normal with musical concerts in the magnificent front hall and the sound of violins invaded every space. Fiona thought it was a world of magic.

I was still heavily engaged with Freya and had less time than the others to enjoy the wild, capricious, if wonderfully happy times that the boys’ presence afforded us. The house was alive again and I welcomed that, so full heartedly.

“Amy?” It was Gideon who met me on the stairs as I came from Freya’s room, laden down with various coloured towels. The colours were codes on what part of her body they were used, starting with the light colours at the head and face, working down to the black and grey towels for the legs and feet. “Amy ...How is Freya?” he asked in a very soberly and unusual manner for him. “I mean ...Is she any better?”

I sighed and tried to fold one of the towels, but it dropped to the floor and Gideon picked it up.

“Thank you Gideon ...Yes, I think she is a little better and it is very kind of you to ask. . Would you like to go in and see her?”

He shied away as I spoke.

“Well ...No thank you Amy ...I don’t want to disturb her,” he said and I could see him blush.

“Oh! You won’t do that Darling. I’m sure she’d love to see you and she has had her breakfast.”

Gideon shook his head slowly and sorrowfully.

“I don’t think she wants to see us, Amy,” he said “Well, perhaps Anton but ... but not me.”

“Why Gideon ...What ever makes you say a thing like that?” I asked, feeling almost sure of the answer I would get and which would have come as no surprise.

“Well I called in to see her ...you know ...the evening we arrived back home. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done, but I was concerned ...not having seen her for some time and I thought she might like to know how Anton and I got on at school.”

He hesitated for a few seconds and then offered to help me carry the towels to the laundry room and I was glad of his help. The towels were mostly for bath use. There was six of them and they were getting heavier as I dallied in the corridor.

“And wasn’t she?” I asked as I piled the laundry across his arms.

“Was she what, Amy?”

I raised my eyebrows and laughed.

“Wasn’t she interested in your schooling then?” I asked, pretending to be totally surprised at Freya’s lack of concern.

Gideon didn’t answer but he began to fidget with his toe on the carpet pattern.

“You’ll make a hole in that, young man ...won’t you?” I teased and he swallowed hard. I knew he was worried about something.

“Amy,” he said again, very softly.

“What is it Gideon? What is it you want to tell me?”

He turned away from me quickly as I spoke.

“Forget it Amy, It was nothing. I think she may have been tired, that’s all.”

I grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him round to face me, rather forcefully, I regret to say.

“We WON’T forget it Gideon ...Now tell me exactly what happened.”

He looked at me and there was fear in his eyes.

“You won’t scold her Amy, will you?” he asked rather sheepishly but I ignored his plea.

“TELL ME, GIDEON ...Tell me what happened. I have to know.”

He shifted from one foot to another and moved the towels from his arms to a nearby chair in the corridor

“Well, I went in to see her, as I said I did ...and she seemed to be lying on her back, but somehow, I didn’t think she was asleep ...I mean, her eyes were wide open and I could hear some sort of a noise ...somewhere in the room. I went to touch her hand ...that was all Amy. Honest … that was all I did.” I patted his hand and as I put my arms around him, he began to cry. “Then she spat at me,” he sobbed, “She spat right into my face Amy ...and I ran out of the room. I thought she had started laughing at me as I was running, but I glanced back quickly and she was sitting up in the bed ...just staring ...staring ahead. She wasn’t laughing at me at all. Amy ...Amy, do you think I might be ill or something?”

I hugged him closer but he cried all the more and eventually I pulled him into one of the empty bedrooms and made him sit down.

“You’re not ill Darling and it was very kind of you to do what you did. I understand. . Really I do.”

“But Amy ...you don’t understand. I don’t think anyone would understand,” he said as he wiped his eyes and blew his nose in his handkerchief.

“Tell me then Gideon ... TELL ME and make me understand?” I said and held him at arms length as I stared into his sad eyes.

“You won’t tell any of the others, if I do ...will you Amy?” I crossed my heart and he twisted his mouth slightly as he looked down at the floor. “The laughter wasn’t from Freya ...It seemed to come from that rocking horse in the corner. You know, that big old hand made thing?”

I smiled tenderly at him and I could feel my heart beating against his head as I held him close to me and stroked his lovely blonde hair.

“I understand Gideon. I understand everything ...”

Gideon was the first person to verify what I had thought all along and although I was grateful that he called in to see Freya when he did, I was also sorry for the response and treatment he received for his kindness and consideration. It made me wonder if Anton had made a visit and if he did ...did he receive the same hospitality? However, I was more confirmed in my assumptions and I suggested that I should take Gideon’s handkerchief and wash it after all the tears he had shed into it ...making it sound like a great joke, but he took me by surprise when he folded the hankie neatly into his pocket again.

“Not that one Amy. ...but this one, if you don’t mind. I don’t want that Mummy should see it.”

He handed me a second handkerchief from his trouser pocket as he left the room and went to collect the towels he had left in the corridor. It was full of green slime.

 

***

 

“Amy, we thought it might be rather nice if we invited young Robbie up here for a week or two ... or more if you like, a little holiday, you know ...might do him the world of good and he is part of our trio, what do you think?”

Anton’ suggestion took me completely by surprise and he giggled as he nodded and shook his head in self-approval of his invitation, but Gideon rebuked him.

“Robbie plays beautifully on his own Amy, don’t listen to what Anton tells you.” he said, but Anton defended himself immediately by saying that he, too, thought that Robbie was a gifted pianist and that he had only giggled when he thought of the fun they all had playing at Stella’s place.

“He’s a natural,” Gideon added, “Just has to look at a piece of music and he can play it. Not many people can do that you know, but Robbie can.”

I gathered that my young nephew had made an impression with the boys and that they both obviously liked him and held his musical abilities in great regard, but I thought they were going over the top …just a little ...to please me, however it made me happy and I wished Stella and George could have heard them in their appraisals. Naturally I was thrilled at the prospects of seeing Robbie again, if Gerry and Anna agreed that he should come to Scotland and stay for a little while at Glencara. He was THE man in my life…

 

***

 

Anna and Gerry were delighted at the prospects of Robbie’s visit and were very anxious to meet him too. The genius from the South, as they called him and I was sure by that time that Stella’s ears were burnt to a frazzle ... My only worry was Freya ... how she would take to Robbie and I was beginning to think that perhaps she felt the boys were getting too much attention already, since she could obviously hear the music from her bedroom, whenever they played and practised, but on the one occasion when I offered to take her downstairs to hear them properly, all I got was a spitting session and a load of dissatisfied grunts.

I was therefore thrown into confusion when I took Anton in to see her and she smiled at him . . .Was it because he was with me and not on his own, I wondered? But then I dismissed that idea quickly as Freya was no respecter of persons. She would have spat at the Pope if he had come to visit her and it didn’t suit her to see him, I am sure. The only thing I could deduct in Anton’s acceptance in that chamber of horrors was his hair-colouring. It was different entirely from Gideon’s. Anton was dark and not in the least Aryan looking, whereas Gideon was the typical Aryan youth. Perhaps there was something in this, because Freya herself was dark. Even her skin was darker than most children I had nursed, but the pigment didn’t seem to be that of an Oriental or even an Italian or Spanish person. It was a strange darkness, unique to our own little Freya, because sometimes it was darker than at other times and there were occasions when she looked positively jaundiced.

Freya obviously loved to be different, I knew that very well ...but I resolved to try to trade on that quality of vanity that she had in the hopes of getting through to her in some way. Perhaps I thought if I tried to make her feel special she may came away from her state of appearing so morose and unsociable and become human for a change even if I was aware of the gigantic task ahead of me, however Robbie’s forthcoming visit brightened my outlook and somehow, nothing seemed so dull ... not even the formidable Freya.

Nevertheless, in order to make her feel more in contact with the rest of the family, I suggested it would be better if she came downstairs when the concerts were being given, but Gerry wasn’t too happy about that and it was only after Anna intervened, thinking it might be the solution to the Freya problem, that he agreed and gave way to my plan, if only very reluctantly. I don’t think it was anything to do with the child’s disability that made Gerry act in the way he did, although I know he didn’t like to look at her any more than he had to, as I never once saw him in her bedroom talking to her, even if he was most anxious that she should be given every attention. I rather think he felt he had to pay for his past indiscretions, but try though I may, I could never see the arrogant strutting medical officer that he had told me he once was when I watched him walk quietly through the house or stroll casually in the garden.

It was therefore agreed that Freya should come downstairs for the concerts on condition that she remained close to me in the first of these occasions until she became used to being in the crowd and I thought it best if everyone pretended not to notice her in any particular way, but just to let her feel that she was one of the family. I was more afraid than any of the others on the first of these occasions as I didn’t want her spitting or hissing at anyone, but when I mentioned this to Steven when he came to the house the evening after we had made our decision, he simply grinned and told me ‘ to give ‘er a smack aran the ear’ole ‘ if she did, putting on his best Cockney accent for my benefit. I could just imagine me taking his advice and I could imagine less, the response I would get from Madam Freya herself.

 

***

 

“Are you making much progress with her, my dear?” Anna asked as she patted Francesca in an effort to stop her crying.

“It varies Anna,” I said, but I don’t think she heard me for the screams of her offspring.

“What was that you said dear?” she asked again and I spoke a little louder.

“It varies,” I repeated, “Some days she seems to be making headway and then at other times, it seems as though she has never left square one. ... It is a battle of wits, I think Anna.”

I said and I wanted to add that a visit from her wouldn’t go amiss, but then I knew she was busy with Francesca and would be for some time until Fiona could be trusted to look after the child on her own. Anna was a very careful and precocious woman ...and I think perhaps it was her fear of what could happen to a child, when she thought of Freya, that made her tread carefully when entrusting her beloved daughter to anyone ... and more so now that Freya was mingling with the rest of the family. There would be no spitting or hissing near Francesca, that was for sure, but just as I was thinking that, I saw Gideon smile at me and glance towards Steven and I felt a little happier. I was beginning to wonder what exactly was his greatest attraction … Was it Freya or me ...or could it possibly stretch to include Fiona, but I wondered in silence and thought that I might be a little jealous. What a complex creature I was turning out to be.

Gerry said something about the holiday at Skye, but before I could answer, he was called away to the telephone and Anna very courteously continued the conversation.

“Oh! You must do that journey again sometime Amy ...and soon,” she added smiling at Aggie, “And perhaps Aggie would like to go with you too, eh?” I was about to say how impossible that would be since Aggie was my relief in taking care of Freya when Anna quickly spoke again before I had the chance to discuss this point ...”The three of you, of course,” she concluded and smiled at everyone around. I chatted on as if I found her suggestion very considerate and gave her the impression that I couldn’t have agreed more, but I had serious reservations in my mind, which I hoped she hadn’t detected in the tone of my voice, however I need not have worried, Anna rambled on talking at high speed about everything and anything that came into her mind, but her nerves were more easily detectable than mine, as this way of speaking was so very unlike her usual manner.

“I’m looking forward to meeting young Robbie,” she said suddenly, as if in an afterthought when the conversation began to wane, “I hope he’ll like it here and that the weather won’t be too cold for him. How tall is he Amy? Would one of the boys’ coats fit him if he feels the cold too much?”

I was aware that Anna was trying to be kind, and that her nerves were frayed, but I assured her that Stella would make sure that Robbie was well wrapped up and suitably clothed for his visit to the Highlands. She smiled. I could see her blush a little and I felt unkind for my comments, as I added that I thought she was very considerate to think as she did.

“It will be lovely to hear the three boys playing,” she said and smiled at Anton, but Gideon grinned in his usual mischievous way and I’m sure I heard him whisper something about a pillow fight whenever the visitor arrived, but Anna had turned her attention to Francesca again by this time.