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Sarah moaned and rolled over, her hand tangling in Tank’s fur. “Lie down.”
He nudged her again with his wet nose.
“All right. I’m getting up.” The damn dog had an internal timer she could set her clock by. She sat up, head spinning. The half empty bottle of Crown stared accusingly at her. Oh man, she’d tied one on last night.
Tank ran to the back door and whined.
“Okay, okay.” She stood, her stomach churning. She needed water, something bland to eat and then more sleep.
Tank whined again.
First, she had to take her dog outside. She stumbled to the back door and opened it. Tank ran outside and stopped, staring back at her. She should work with him more on going out alone, but he got so upset if she were out of his sight. She was pretty sure he feared she’d disappear like Adam. “Okay.” She stepped into her backyard, wincing as the sunlight hit her face. “Why did you let me drink so much?”
Tank sniffed around the yard, ignoring her.
“Some friend you are.”
He peed and ran back to the door.
“Done?”
He stared at her, wagging his tail.
“Great. Let’s go back to bed.” She wouldn’t get any arguments from him. At eleven years old he was more than happy to sleep most of the day. Although having worked for the military until he’d been wounded in the gunfire that’d killed Adam, he was also used to exercise. She’d bring him back out later, after her nap.
He followed her into the kitchen. She dumped a scoop of dog food in his dish and dropped a piece of toast in the toaster. She drank some water and went into the living room to put away all reminders of her binge last night.
Her eyes fell on the papers scattered over the end table. Flashes of her scribbling and crying flickered through her brain like an old, home movie. She picked them up. They were letters to Nick. There was also the one she’d put in her nightstand. Thank God, she hadn’t dropped these in the mail. Talk about pathetic. Even if Nick had sent Ethan a letter, he’d take one look at these and run screaming. No man wanted a desperate woman and she was beyond desperate in these letters—lonely, scared and clingy. Exactly, the kind of woman Nick avoided.
Her phone rang and her traitorous heart once again skipped a beat, hoping it’d be Nick. Ethan and Nick were good friends. Ethan might break his rule and give Nick her contact information without her consent. She found the phone on the floor by the couch. It was her sister again.
“Hey,” she answered, trying not to sound as disappointed as she was.
“How you feeling?” asked Maisie.
“Good.” She paused. “Like shit. I drank way too much last night.”
“Did you—”
“No, and I’m not going to.” She grabbed the letters from the table.
“I think you’re making a mistake.”
“My life. My mistake.” The toaster popped and she went into the kitchen. She tossed the letters in the trash as she put her toast on a plate and buttered it lightly.
“I know, but enough about that.” Maisie’s voice was excited.
“What’s going on?” She took a bite of her bread.
“You...well, Peter...well...we—”
“Maisie spit it out. What did you and your husband do now?”
Peter helped Sarah manage her company and he did all the things outside of the house that she hated doing—couldn’t do because of Tank. He was a great guy, a great husband and a great employee, except...when he pushed too much. She was pretty sure most of that started with Maisie.
“There was a contest and—”
“Tell me you didn’t.” She took her toast into the living room and flopped on the couch. “Please, tell me you didn’t waste money entering the company in one of those charities—”
“It wasn’t a waste because we won.” Maisie was almost screaming now and Sarah winced.
“Quieter. Speak quieter.”
“Sorry.” Maisie lowered her voice, but not much. “I’m just so excited! We won.”
“What did we win?” She sighed—another hundred dollars and a free hotel stay which she wouldn’t accept.
“Five hundred thousand dollars!”
“What?” She stood, hands trembling. Her company did well but an additional half million would be wonderful. She could help so many more animals with that money.
“You heard me. A half million dollars!”
“Oh, my God.” She dropped back onto the couch. The ideas of what she could do with that much extra cash making a whirlwind in her head but then reality splashed in the center. “What do I have to do with the money? What are the stipulations? What kind of scam did you get us involved in?”
“Calm down. It’s legit. You can do whatever you want with the money as long as it goes to helping animals. The charity is the Norman Jay Animal Rights endowment.”
“Oh, they’re huge.” And reputable. This was fabulous.
“Yeah and you won. They love what you do for animals especially our K9 veterans.”
“I can use the money however I want?” She could help service men and women adopt the animals they fell in love with overseas. She could set up subsidized housing for veterans and their pets. There were so many great ways she could expand.
“Yep. You have to give them an itemized expenditure list but as long as it goes for animals they don’t care.”
“That’s wonderful.” Her mind stumbled over itself trying to think of the best way to spend this money. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I hope you’ll be more open to us entering the company in other competitions.”
“You know the only reason I don’t want you signing us up is because they usually require me to accept the reward. I’m surprised that Norman Jay is okay with Peter going in my place.” She sat on the couch. “I’m happy, but surprised.”
“Ah...”
Her fist tightened on the phone. “No, don’t say it, Maisie. Don’t.”
“It’s a half million dollars.”
She flopped onto her back. “I can’t. You’ll have to refuse.”
“We...You are not turning down $500,000. You know how many animals you can help with that. Let alone the publicity.”
“I know but...I can’t. I can’t leave Tank.”
“You can. I’ll watch him. He’ll be fine.”
“No. He won’t.” Her heart was racing. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to accept the award, stand in front of all those people and make a speech. Have them all looking at her. She hated being the center of attention, ever since that party at Adam’s parents’ house—all the pitying looks and false smiles. She’d only made it through the Viewing because she couldn’t see their faces and even if she had, they’d wanted to fuck her, not pity her.
“Calm down.” Maisie’s voice was firm but gentle. “You can do this. Peter will be there with you and I’ll be with Tank.”
“I’ll have to be gone too long.” These events were always out of town.
“Only four hours or so.”
“It’s here?”
“Yes, in the city. You’ll go, eat dinner and accept the award. I’d suggest staying and enjoying the party afterwards, making some contacts but if you can’t, Peter will bring you home.”
“I...I don’t know.” She’d still have to make a speech.
“Sarah, I think you need to do this. You’re getting worse—”
“It’s not me.” But it was. Some of her self-imposed isolation was her fear and they both knew it.
“You’ve barely left the house in four months.”
“There’s no reason to go out and Tank—”
“Would get used to you leaving if you did it once in a while.”
“Stop, Maisie. Just stop.” Tank nudged her arm and she rolled over burying her face in his neck.
“Think of all you can do with that money. All the dogs like Tank you can save.”
Her heart raced. She didn’t want to do this.
“It’ll only be a few hours. Three. Three hours for half a million dollars.”
She had no choice. She rolled over, staring at the ceiling. “I guess, I can do that.”
“I know you can.”
“When?”
“In two weeks. I’ll come by and we’ll look at dresses online.” Maisie’s voice was filled with excitement. She loved to shop.