November 4, 10:06 P.M.

Dear Tara*Starr,

This is a whisper letter. If we were actually talking, I would have to whisper, since it’s after ten o’clock at night and I’m supposed to be asleep. (My parents always know where I am at ten o’clock. I’m in bed.) So I’m writing this under the covers, with a flashlight, and I feel like I’m whispering to you.

Thank you so, so, so much for calling tonight. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! And please thank Barb again for me, okay? I can’t believe you guys called as soon as you read my letter. I know the call was expensive, and I’m pretty sure you had to give some of your money to Barb to help pay for it. You know what? I’m going to pay you back. Is it okay to send cash through the mail? I’m not going to mail you coins, I’ll just fold some bills into my next letter. I better not do it in this letter. Mom is still upset, and I don’t want her to get suspicious of anything right now.

Tara, do you know how good it felt to talk to you and Barb about what’s going on with my parents? I’ve been feeling so lonely. And so alone. I feel like I don’t have my family anymore, except for Emma. My parents are lost, at least to me. (There’s always been a distance between my father and me, but now there’s one between my mother and me too.) And I keep worrying about Emma. All this stuff is too big for me.

I’ve really been thinking about what Barb said. That I should go to my guidance counselor. But I’m not sure. You know how Mom feels about keeping things in the family.

Well, now I guess I better tell you what happened after Mom came into the kitchen and caught me on the phone with you and Barb. First of all, you should know that she wasn’t upset because I was talking to you. (You know my mom likes you. And my father doesn’t dislike you that much. Mom was upset because she heard me telling you what she considers private family business. She believes that family business should stay in the family. That’s the guidance counselor problem. She was also upset because it was after dinner and Dad hadn’t come home yet, so we’d eaten without him.

So guess what I did after Mom made me get off the phone. I don’t think you’ll believe this, but I asked Mom if she and Dad are getting a divorce. I mean, I just asked her straight out. I said, “Mom, are you and Dad getting a divorce?” I was really proud of myself for asking, but the result was kind of disappointing.

Mom said, “No, that’s not what’s going on.”

So I said, “Is Dad having an affair?”

And here Mom got really upset. She said, “That sounds like something Tara would say.” And then she cried.

So then I said, “Mom, please. Just tell me what’s going on. Please.”

And Mom sighed. “It’s between grown-ups.”

At least I asked.

I can hear footsteps in the hallway now, so I better end this letter and turn off the flashlight before I get caught.

I think maybe Dad just came home.

Love,

P.S. Thank you again for calling. It was so great to talk to you in person. I really miss you, Tara. (Barb too.) You’re my best friend and always will be.

P.P.S. You know what makes me happy? We started a poetry unit in English, and we’re writing our own poetry. Even when I’m feeling my saddest, just thinking about my poems makes me feel better.