Thank you for your craft instructions and for reminding me that scissors are sharp. I’ll pretend I’m not like TOTALLY offended. I also wanted to remind you to be careful of glue, it’s pretty sticky … and also AIR is pretty INVISIBLE and WATER is pretty WET!
You know what? I can’t believe you think I can’t handle a simple craft job like making a unicorn head. I’ll have you know I’ve made heaps of unicorns in my time, and I know HEAPS about them. I’m basically a bit of an expert when it comes to unicorns. For your information, unicorns aren’t really these fancy glittering things with wings and swirly horns that YOU think they are.
The first unicorns were actually a subspecies of goat crossed with a narwhal, which is why they smell like seaweed and popcorn. I should know, because I’ve actually ridden one. HAVE YOU?
Now don’t forget to bring the unicorn butt. See YOU tomorrow with my awesome unicorn head. Time to shine!
Yours craftily,
Jimmy Cook