Good morning and all that. Today is the big day! You will notice I have brought this AMAZING unicorn bottom. Look at the multicoloured swishy tail! Look at the light-up glitter fur! Look at the sparkly hooves! One question for you: where is the unicorn head? I can’t see it. Did you put it in the storeroom so it wouldn’t get squashed? You should be careful about that, I think it’s a portal to Mars.
Also, I’m wondering why you don’t have shoes on? And why are you sitting very still, staring at the wall? This is very strange. Did you have an ‘accident’ on the way to school?
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
