Dear person who says they’re NOT Jimmy,

Normally I would be really upset with you. I mean, because of you, I have to go to the Book Parade today dressed as a unicorn bottom, without a head. Just the bottom. It’s hardly my idea of an awesome costume. All my friends will be dressed as wizards and princesses and butterflies and me, Alice Toolie – jazz ballet champion, Readathon winner, 1st place in Science Champs, sparkle princess and person voted Most Likely to be Followed By 1000 Cute Kittens – will come to the Book Parade as a unicorn bottom. It’s pretty bad. It might just be the very, very WORST thing that’s happened to me EVER.

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But you know what?

It’s not as bad as standing in baby sloth poo, losing your shoes and then having some wild dog steal the costume you were working on all night so you end up on the BEST DAY of the school year, BOOK WEEK PARADE DAY, with no costume and smelling faintly of sloth poo.

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That’s REALLY bad. So, normally I would not be thinking this was a good time to shine... but it might be the RIGHT time to shine. You know what? I’m going to surprise you (and myself) because if I have to go out there in front of the WHOLE school dressed as a unicorn bottom then I’m going to be the best unicorn bottom that the world has ever seen.

And if THAT’S not an inspirational character, then I don’t know what is. And you know what else? You’re going to do the same. Sure, you’ve got no shoes and you do still smell a bit like baby sloth poo, but you know that old saying, behind every rain cloud is a flying cupcake! I’ve got the perfect idea for you. Let’s go to the lost property and find you a spotty shirt and a hat that looks like it was knitted from cat fur.

Yours troolie,

Alice Toolie

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