Firstly, thank you for your tip regarding the deep space portal in the sports storeroom, that explains why the footballs are always going missing. Secondly, I’m sorry to say, your plans to keep me from becoming library monitor are not working! I’ve already got two more signatures. Ruby Foo agreed to sign after I gave her my bubble unicorn slap band and then Lucas Terrazzo signed because I told him it was a petition to get a class ocelot with three eyes that can read minds and spit hot Kookie-Kola at your enemies. He thought that was a great idea and now that I think about it, so do I! Only one more signature to go!
Yours exceptionally,
Jimmy Cook