OMG! That is totally illegal! As a library monitor, I can tell you right now that you have told Lucas Terrazzo a big PORKY PIE LIE! There is no such thing as a three-eyed ocelot! Actually, maybe there is, but we’re certainly not getting one. So that means his signature is also invalid. Also giving Ruby Foo your bubble unicorn slap band is bribery! You’re in soooooo much trouble Jimmy Cook. Not only have you got an overdue library book but now the police will probably arrest you.
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
