Fine. I have taken Lucas Terrazzo and Ruby Foo’s names off my petition. It’s actually your fault that I even had to bribe them in the first place. I know you’ve been telling everyone NOT to sign and lying about me, saying I have space lice! I’ll have you know, they weren’t space lice, they were REAL earth lice from that stinking captain’s hat I was always wearing. Anyway, I don’t have lice anymore and you will notice I am now wearing a brand-new SPACE EXPLORER HELMET complete with official space logo (that I invented).
Anyway, I have a deal for you: I will stop trying to become a library monitor … if you let me borrow books again. I really need to borrow this book on space mould. Apparently, mould is a REAL problem in space and the International Space Station is pretty much covered in it. I’ve actually heard that in space mould can grow wild and take over entire planets! Here’s three things I bet you didn’t know about mould:
1. It’s really dangerous, but can also save lives (you need it to make medicine).
2. Mould can eat basically anything but NOT McDongles hamburgers.
3. Some mould can actually walk (and some can even run!).
So, you can see why I really need to know everything about it before I go to space. The last thing I want is to get up there and get totally trampled by walking mould.
Yours definitely,
Jimmy Cook
P.S. Also would you KINDLY take down all those wanted posters about me and that Princess Snow Cone book I didn’t even borrow!