I heard your upside-down writing club was very successful. So, well done, I guess. I didn’t attend because I was doing very important library monitor business and plus, I can already write upside down. I actually WON the state upside-down letter-writing championships about three years ago. Anyway, it’s great you’ve finally figured it out.
Now, back to business. I can see you haven’t given up your ridiculous dreams of becoming a library monitor. (I also see you got two more names on your petition – including Jenny Philpot, so I am totally not speaking to her anymore!) But the truth is, you wouldn’t like being library monitor. It’s a very serious business and wouldn’t suit you at all. For example...you are wearing a saucepan on your head today. That is not something a responsible person would do. (Why do you even have a saucepan at school???) It’s time to face facts, Jimmy Cook. You are a library book thief who will never be a library monitor :( That’s like asking the world’s worst robber to be chief of police. It makes no sense. So, I’m sorry to say, you will NEVER get that last signature, so stop trying! You will never be library monitor... EVER! EVER! EVER!
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie