BLINK BLINK! I’m totally ignoring you, of course!
BUT FINE! I’ll respond. The reason I wasn’t replying isn’t JUST because I’m giving you the cold shoulder, it’s because you literally destroyed my hopes and dreams and childhood and everything by getting me FIRED as library monitor when I was basically the best library monitor the school had EVER seen! It’s not even because you totally destroyed the author visit by insisting that the really old photocopier repairman who was carrying a bag that said PHOTOCOPY REPAIRS was just Noel Templestein in a disguise because he’s soooooo famous (which we know isn’t true!).
It’s not EVEN because you insisted on growing space mould on a sandwich and putting it in the library fridge without a proper sign because you were soooooo worried people would steal your special experiment. The reason I am NOT replying to you is that THIS notebook is for official library monitor business and WE are NOT official library monitors anymore!
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
