I open the door, Theresa’s laugh billowing out of the kitchen from some joke that Matt probably told her. The guy can be hilarious when he’s not too crude for someone like Theresa.
Am I really that different from when we used to hang together? I get the domesticated thing, settling roots and being a dad, but I didn’t think my personality had changed that much. But I even cringed at a few of the things Matt said during dinner.
Matt smiles over Theresa’s shoulder when we enter the kitchen.
“Found ice cream,” I say, raising it.
“Oh good.” Theresa pushes up from the table and turns, stopping when she sees Palmer and Adley with me. “Oh, and you brought extras.”
I hope that’s okay. Sorry for interrupting.
I translate Palmer’s sign language for Theresa.
“Of course. There’s plenty.” She puts on a fake-ass smile that I’m sure even Matt can see through, and he doesn’t even know her.
“Palmer?” Matt says, rising to his feet from the table. “Nice to meet you.” He signs.
She blinks for a beat along with me. You know how to sign?
“A little.” He continues to sign as he speaks, missing a few words, but overall doing okay. “In high school, I had the option to take sign language or Spanish, and I already knew I sucked at Spanish, so I gave sign language a shot.”
This is Adley. Palmer puts her hand on our daughter’s back.
Matt crouches down to her level, putting his hand up in the air. “Give me five.”
Adley smacks it like she does with her uncles, harder than most three-year-olds.
“Whoa.” He shakes out his hand.
Palmer laughs, and I glance at her, wondering where that flirtatious sound came from. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve been around Palmer and a man who wasn’t someone she’s related to. She got pregnant and wasn’t interested in sex, then after Adley was born, she always said how disgusting she felt. At some point last year, Palmer went on a girls’ trip with some of her cousins, and from listening to their cryptic talk, I think maybe Palmer hooked up with someone, but I wasn’t there to see it.
“I like her already. Teaching her how to inflict pain.”
The two of them laugh, and Matt steps aside, pulling a chair out for Adley first then Palmer.
“I wish you would’ve told me they were coming,” Theresa whispers while cutting the cake.
“It was a spur-of-the-moment thing,” I whisper back.
“It’s just that I wanted to get to know your friend, and now…”
“What?” I stop scooping the ice cream and stare at her.
“Nothing. Let’s just get this over with.” She takes two bowls over to the table and passes them out, adding a sweetness to her tone I only ever hear when she’s hiding something.
“Palmer says it looks delicious,” Matt translates since both of our backs are facing them.
A growl stops short from erupting up my throat.
Theresa turns away from the counter and smiles. “Thank you.”
“Chocolate is my favorite,” Adley says, using her spoon to dig into the cake.
As Adley eats her cake and ice cream, Matt and Palmer continue to chat using sign language.
So, why did you pick Hudson to train you?
Matt thinks for a moment before signing. We were friends before you came into his life. Even though he’s a pussy now, he knows the sport better than anyone else.
Palmer is quick to respond. Are you suggesting I took him away from something?
Matt shakes his head. No. He could still be out there doing tricks.
I hit Matt’s arm to gain his attention. I told you, I’m happy. Leave it.
“Could you translate?” Theresa asks me. “I feel like the odd man out.”
“I don’t know either.” Adley piles another spoonful in her mouth. She’s learned a lot of sign language quickly, but when the hands move too fast, she can’t follow.
“Then I guess we can have our own conversation.” Theresa elbows Adley and laughs.
Palmer stares at Theresa for a beat and inhales a sharp breath. I’m sure she’s annoyed about what Theresa said, having no idea what it was like for Palmer growing up and even now with her implants. Theresa’s comment was insensitive.
Palmer’s gaze lands on me, and she nods toward Theresa. Tell her I’m sorry.
I shake my head.
Tell her.
No, it won’t do any good. Just carry on.
Matt’s spoon drops into his bowl, and he signs. Do you two fight like you’re a couple?
We both turn to him. No, we sign in unison.
Matt laughs.
“What’s so funny?” Theresa looks between us all.
“Just these two. They must give you comic relief.”
“Yeah, all the time.” Her tone is sarcastic, and the table grows quiet for a beat.
Palmer quickly finishes her cake and ice cream, urging Adley to finish hers. Come on, it’s almost bedtime.
Matt touches Palmer’s arm, and she turns in his direction, a smile already on her face. You’re leaving so soon?
She needs to go to bed.
“I’m not tired,” Adley says.
“You will be when your head hits the pillow,” I tell her.
“No, I won’t.”
“Yes, you will,” I say.
Adley scoops up a small amount of ice cream, taking her time eating it.
This is like dinner and a show.
Palmer laughs at Matt’s quip and signs back to him. You should see the two of them fight over the television.
I lift my hands to join the conversation. Maybe if you sided with me more often, she wouldn’t think she could fight back with me. I am her father.
Matt’s jaw drops. Whoa, you sounded like my dad there. Scary.
Shut up. I sign, growing more annoyed.
Come on. Palmer puts her hand on Adley’s arm. You can take it home with you.
Palmer stands and picks up Adley, who’s fussing as if she doesn’t want to leave. Matt gets up from his chair, and I narrow my eyes, wondering what the hell he’s doing. Surely he understands that Palmer is mine. Well, not mine, but there’s no room for him in our situation. She’s my daughter’s mother, which means he needs to find someone else to fuck around with while he’s in town.
I’ll walk you back, Matt signs.
Palmer smiles and points toward her house. We’re right next door. I’ll be fine.
Who is going to hold her ice cream?
She stares at him for a moment and nods.
I kiss Adley goodbye, and her small arms tighten around my neck. God, I love her so much. She’s worth every day that I don’t do a stupid trick on the halfpipe. The three leave, and I watch through the window as they make their way over to Palmer’s house. Palmer slips, and Matt steadies her, almost dropping the ice cream, but of course, he saves the day.
“Are you going to stand there all night?” Theresa asks from the kitchen.
As I turn my head in her direction, Matt walks into Palmer’s house.
What the fuck is going on?
“Jesus, Hudson, what am I missing?”
Stripping myself away from the window, I join Theresa as she cleans up, packaging the leftovers that she’s more than welcome to take home.
I don’t respond because I’ve never felt whatever this is stirring inside me. I’ve never felt this feeling that’s brewing under my usual casual demeanor. Matt is a friend, and Palmer isn’t looking for anything serious. Why not let her have some fun while he’s in town? But something inside me doesn’t like it.
“Hudson!” Theresa says louder.
“What?” I run my hand through my hair, pulling on the back of my neck. “I just don’t want Matt to use Palmer.”
She scoffs. “From what I hear, it’d be the other way around.” She puts the lid on the ice cream, and I’m tempted to return it right now to interrupt the two of them next door.
“What’s that mean?”
She turns around and puts her hands on the counter on either side of her. “I’ve heard rumors about that girls’ trip she took with her cousins. That she was looking hard to hook up with someone, and that she was with different people every night.”
Irritation sparks like a match in my chest. I could see her meeting one guy and spending the trip with him, but she’s never been the type to hop from guy to guy. “That’s not Palmer.”
“Of course you defend her. That’s the reason I never told you.” She puts the leftovers in her bag. Good, because I wasn’t going to eat them.
“First of all, I don’t need to defend her because even if it were true, she was single and could do who and what she wanted. Regardless, rumors are rarely true.”
She huffs and shakes her head. “Am I in the middle of something I shouldn’t be?”
“What do you mean?” I grab a washcloth and wipe down the table, especially where Adley was.
“You know what I mean. Do you have feelings for Palmer?”
“I love Palmer, but I’m not in love with her. She’s my best friend and the mother—”
“Of your daughter. I get it. That’s what you always say, but the man I saw tonight wanted to reach across that table and rip Matt’s head off for flirting with his best friend.” Her eyebrows rise, asking me to answer to my reaction that I haven’t even deciphered yet.
“It’s just me being protective. That’s all. We have a good thing going with co-parenting Adley, and I don’t want anything to disturb that.” I start on the dishes, wishing we could end this conversation.
“And where does that leave me?” She grabs a dish towel.
I hand her a pot once I’m finished washing it. “You’re my girlfriend—I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
“How far can we go? Because from where I sit, the merging of our lives is already causing a disturbance for me.”
“For you?” I laugh. “How are you disturbed by my relationship with my daughter and her mother?”
The pot slips from her hands and clatters to the floor. We both reach down to pick it up. “Sometimes I don’t know if it’s ignorance or stupidity with you.”
We both stand, and I stare at her for a moment, wondering where the woman from this morning is. “Spit out what you really want to say, Theresa.”
She puts the pot on the counter with the dish towel. “Tonight was about us having your friend over. And as long as you live next door to her, we’ll never be able to be a real couple.”
“They just came over for dessert.”
“And you’ve been distracted since they arrived.”
“I borrowed their ice cream. It would be rude not to let them have some cake.” Maybe it’s a weak excuse, but whatever.
“You could have gone to the grocery store. You didn’t have to go next door and borrow it.”
I scrunch my eyebrows because that makes no sense. “But—”
“See! I wanted to feel like a real couple tonight, where we entertain your friend, and I hear stories about your youth and all the stupid things you did. But instead, I got to sit at a table not understanding what you guys were saying because you were all signing.”
“I apologize. I should have done a better job filling you in, but that was only at the end of the night, Theresa. The rest of the dinner went great.”
She’s quiet, and for the first time with her, I’m not sure how to react. We’ve never had a conversation with this much honesty, at least on her part. Where do we go from here?
“I just always feel…lacking with her. Like you wish…”
“Hey.” I place my hands on her hips and pull her toward me. “Palmer and I had our moment, and we decided to remain friends and raise our daughter together. It’s the reason we live close but separate. If there was anything there, I wouldn’t be standing here with you. I’m not that type of guy.”
She looks up at me. “Really?”
“Yes. I want you here and in my life.”
Her arms slide around my middle, and she steps into me. I tighten my grip on her, and she sighs against my chest.
I look over her head at Palmer’s house, watching her shut the blinds to the window that faces my house. I inhale a breath and kiss Theresa on the head.
I like Theresa. A lot, but fuck, I’m pretty sure I just lied to her.