Matt texted that he’d be waiting up by the halfpipe for me rather than meeting me in the lodge. Which means one of two things. One, he isn’t looking to hook up with anyone, and his mind is only on snowboarding. Or two, he already knows who he wants to hook up with.
I take my board to meet him, and I’m not surprised when I arrive, and a bunch of locals are cheering him on as he does his run. Probably half the reason he wanted to come here is for an ego boost. I’m sure it works—if people thinking you’re a big deal makes you think you are too.
I rest my board in the snow and sit, waiting for him to come back up. I missed his first two tricks, but all the locals can’t stop saying how awesome he was.
“Remember, he’s been doing this a long time. Don’t attempt any stupid shit,” I remind them since a lot of them here are novices.
“Such a buzzkill, Hudson. We’re not stupid.”
I nod. “Well, I just wanted to say it in case anyone was feeling adventurous.”
When Matt gets back to the top of the mountain, he smacks hands and smiles at their praises. One thing I’ve wondered about over the past few years is whether I would be as fearless as he is. You have to be in order to be successful in this profession. I tell myself I quit because of Adley, but it could be I never had the guts.
Matt plops down beside me. “What did you think?”
“I missed the first two tricks, but you got a lot of height on that last one.”
“Yeah, I’ve got an extra pep in my step today. If I could’ve come out here last night after dinner, I would’ve…” He picks up some snow and tosses it in the air.
“Tofu stir fry or chocolate cake does it for you?”
“More like a cute brunette.”
My gut twists. I should’ve known.
“Adley? I know she’s cute, right? She’s got my blood, so what did you expect?” I laugh, but Matt stares at me because he obviously wants to have this conversation.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had to have the “are you sure” conversation with a friend. My only problem with Matt is that I know he’s not looking for anything more than sex, and Palmer says the same, but I worry about her getting hurt.
“Go ahead,” I say, not wanting to delay this any further.
“Is there something between you two?” Matt asks, staring me in the eye.
Although I don’t spend a lot of time with Matt anymore, I know him, and he would never cross the line if I asked him not to. I could be honest and say that I didn’t like seeing the two of them together. So much so, it caused a fight with Theresa.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. “Hold on.”
Pulling it out of my pocket, I take off my glove and put in my password. It’s from Palmer.
There’s no answer, which doesn’t surprise me because that’s Palmer. When the words are flowing, she goes into her writing cave, only poking her head out occasionally.
“Theresa?” Matt asks.
I pocket my phone and put my glove back on. “Palmer. She had a good writing day today.”
Matt smiles. “That’s good. She told me she was going to call her editor today and accept defeat.”
I nod. “Guess not anymore. Anyway, it’s fine. You can ask her out. She’s Adley’s mom, and we’re best friends, but that’s where it ends for us. We’ve never been romantically involved, except for the night we conceived Adley.”
“So, I can pursue her?”
I laugh and give him one long stare. “Ask her out on a date?”
“She’s your baby mama. I’m not gonna disrespect her.”
My eyebrows lift. “I’ll warn you that she might want you to disrespect her a little.”
He sits up. “Is that your way of telling me she’s kinky? What should I know about?”
I push him on the shoulder. “I meant that she’s not really a relationship girl.”
“All the better. But I really wanted to check with you first because last night you looked…”
“What?” I ask, my gaze straying to the halfpipe where some kid just fell on his ass after he came down from a trick.
“Jealous? Like we were leaving you out. Then again, Theresa is a bit…uptight?”
At least he’s giving me the out to say it’s Theresa and not him and Palmer until I can get a handle on whatever these feelings are I’m having. “She’s particular, yeah.”
“Does she not like Palmer?”
I shrug. “I think she’s wary. She and her ex don’t have a relationship like me and Palmer.”
“You mean they aren’t this century’s version of the Cleavers?” He tosses snow at me.
I shake my head, picking up some snow and throwing it back at him. “I get that it’s unusual, but if we’re both cool with it, why do other people find it weird?”
He shrugs. “Something tells me Theresa likes control, and she can’t control your situation.”
“Yeah, maybe. She mentioned that it bothered her that I’m right next door to Palmer, but I’m never moving. It’s too convenient living right next to Adley. It’s as close as I can be in her life without actually living with her.”
He nods and gets up on his board with one foot strapped in, then he moves to get in line for the halfpipe. “I think you might want to prepare yourself for a bumpy road, because you and Palmer can’t live like you are forever. Most women would struggle with it. In all seriousness, if I was into Palmer, and let’s say I wanted to marry her, it would probably feel like I’m marrying you too, and I wouldn’t be cool with it.”
As always, he makes his way to the front of the line. I try to concentrate on his run. It’s the reason he’s here and the reason he’s paying me, but all I can think about is whether he’s right. Our situation is unconventional and not everyone in our lives is going to like it. The question is, do I give a shit? Which would mean how much do I care about Theresa? Enough to overhaul my entire life? I’m not so sure.
After Matt and I spend the majority of the day working on his height and landings, we head back down the mountain. I’m meeting Palmer for Adley’s weekly lesson and some ski time with my little girl. He’s probably coming down the mountain with me to get Palmer to sleep with him while I’m with Adley, but he told me he just had to take a break.
Palmer is already at the fence line with Adley all bundled up and her board resting on the wooden divider between the skiers and non-skiers.
“She said she doesn’t board?” Matt asks as we approach.
“Palmer?” I laugh. “No. Been trying to get her to for years.”
“Huh.”
“Ready?” I ask when we approach, but I can already tell from Adley’s face that she’s not happy to be here.
Palmer puts her hand on Adley’s head and signs Someone woke up from their nap cranky.
I bend down to talk to my daughter, but the first thing I hear is “Hey, beautiful,” from Matt to Palmer. I glance up and see Palmer’s cheeks flush and not from the cold weather. Her dark hair is down, and she’s got on a knit cap. Her lips are pink and rosy.
She waves and smiles at him.
I turn my attention to Adley because I can’t keep fixating on them. I poke her in the stomach although her big jacket might make it so she can’t feel it. “Come on, do you not want to go snowboarding with me today?”
“I’m tired,” she whines and walks into my arms.
I hold her tightly, my hand running down her back. “How about we take it slow? We’ll do a few runs, and if you don’t wake up a bit by then, we’ll call it a day and get hot cocoa in the lodge?”
She pulls back from me, and her small smile makes my heart grow larger.
“Okay?” I ask since she didn’t answer.
She nods. “’Kay.”
“Say goodbye to Mommy.”
She walks over to Palmer and hugs her leg.
“I’ll bring her home after.”
“Does that mean you’re free?” Matt asks Palmer.
“Um…” she says, and I’m surprised because she rarely speaks out loud around people she’s not close to.
“I thought the book was pouring out of you. You should go write,” I say.
Matt gives me a look as though I’m the worst wingman ever. “One drink in the lodge.”
She looks at me as if she needs permission.
I hold up my hands. “Don’t look at me. Your conscience will make the decision.”
She rolls her eyes and turns to Matt, nodding. “Sure.”
I have no idea why it irritates me so much that she feels comfortable enough to speak out loud with him.
“Great. Let me lock up my equipment, and I’ll meet you in the lodge.” He turns back to me. “Have fun shredding.”
Matt holds his hand out for Adley to give him a high five, but she curls into me more as if she doesn’t remember him from last night. Her snubbing him shouldn’t make me as happy as it does.
“Have fun, you two. We’re out.” I pick up Adley’s board and mine.
We make our way to the bunny hill. One day soon, I want to get Adley up on one of the bigger hills just to test her out. She’s capable. Most people think it’s crazy to start a kid snowboarding so young, but most little ones are actually really good at it. And believe it or not, in some ways, it’s way easier than teaching an adult beginner.
As we get to the top of the bunny hill, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I sit Adley down on the ground, her board strapped to her feet, and take off my gloves to see who it is.
My head rocks back. I don’t really want to get into this right now.
My gaze goes to the bottom of the hill where I can see the lodge entrance, and sure enough, Matt is walking through the doors.
The three dots appear then disappear. I wait a few minutes but assume she got distracted by her classroom of students or another teacher. I pocket the phone, get Adley up on her feet, and we snowboard down the bunny hill.
As I figured, after a few runs, Adley’s excited and doesn’t want to stop, so we continue until the lights turn on.
“Hot chocolate?” I ask after we finish the last run of the day.
She claps her mittens together. “Yes!”
I walk to the lodge and put our boards on the outside storage rack, thinking it won’t take too long. As soon as I carry Adley inside, I hear the giggle that’s been drilled into my head for years, and I turn toward the big leather chairs by the fire.
“Mommy!” Adley points at where Palmer and Matt are sitting, each having a drink and what looks like appetizers.
I lower Adley to the floor, and she runs over to Palmer, climbing into the seat with her, eager to tell her how well she did on the slopes. Matt turns to me. I nod and head to the bar to get our hot cocoa, then I join them, interrupting their time together. Oops.
Yeah, I really need to address whatever is going on inside me every time I see them alone together. But I’m just not ready yet.