Matt doesn’t really need me anymore. He’s figured out his kinks by now, but he’s paying me, so I show up on the halfpipe, give him a couple of things to work on, then we usually end up heading to the slopes to shred a few runs or to the lodge for a drink.
“I’m exhausted,” he says after his fifth run. He lies down on the top of the hill as we stare down at the halfpipe. “You should go for a rip. When’s the last time you rode the halfpipe?”
I don’t deny it’s tempting. Watching the young kids trying shit and the excitement when they land a trick makes me envious, but then I think about Adley. And I think about not seeing her grow up because of something stupid I did. “Nah.”
“Hey, Matt,” two women say in unison, waving at him as their eyes eat him up.
He just gives them a halfhearted wave. “Either I’m getting way too fucking old, or women these days are looking a lot fucking younger.” His gaze follows the women as they put their snowboards in the snow and sit to watch people on the halfpipe.
“It’s called jailbait, and you are old.”
He tosses some snow at me. “I remember when I was just coming up, and Grady Kale was the old fucker at the Winter Games in Korea.”
I nod, remembering. Although Matt is just as cocky as he was then, he’s matured a lot. But I think every kid as good as Matt, especially at such a young age, is cocky to a degree. They earned their right to be. And I think you need to be in order to launch yourself toward danger at the top of the mountain. You have to believe you can pull it off.
“Now you’re the Grady, and there are younger versions of you.” I gesture toward the halfpipe.
“Truth.” He stares at the guys and girls who are more than a decade younger than him. “It’s sad as fuck.”
“It’s not bad, you know.”
He glances at me as though he doesn’t know what I’m referring to.
“Stability. Domestic life as you refer to it. There’s a peace to growing roots.” I can’t believe I’m actually admitting it since I never wanted to settle down in one place. Not once in my life. Even if I met someone, I’d hoped they’d want to travel the world like I did.
Matt shakes his head. “You’ve been brainwashed.”
I realize there’s no getting through to Matt. He’s lived the lifestyle longer than I ever did, and maybe if Palmer had never gotten pregnant, I’d be telling some other guy the same thing Matt is telling me.
“But I’ll tell you one thing, Palmer is great,” Matt says. “She’s so easygoing. You hit the jackpot as far as baby mamas go.”
If he only knew how high-strung Palmer can be about certain things. He’s never seen her lose her shit. Being a parent can do that to you. Like when Adley was an infant, and she wouldn’t sleep for multiple nights, or when we tried to wean her off the pacifier, or when we potty trained her.
I never knew how much patience being a parent required, and sometimes you just need a time-out. But Matt wouldn’t know anything about that. And if I’m honest with myself, I like it when Palmer gets a little crazy and needs a break because I like being her Superman and swooping in to save the day. I’m sure to some people that sounds bad, but it goes both ways. I lose my shit too, and she’s always the one to help me.
“Yeah, she’s great,” I say.
“I have to ask again because we’re going on a date tonight, and I just…I can’t shake the feeling that I’m interfering, getting myself in the middle of something. That maybe there’s more between you two?” He arches an eyebrow.
This is my chance to tell him to back off. That since he entered the picture, I’ve become a jealous bastard and am currently blowing up my own relationship because I’m hyper-focused on the two of them. But Palmer’s not mine, and I can’t take this away from her. Plus, there’s still Theresa to consider.
“Nah, man, it’s cool.” He studies me for a beat, and I play off my discomfort with a laugh. “I swear, it’s cool.”
“All right, then tell me where to take her. Someone at the hotel told me some restaurant named Terra and Mare downtown is the one to go to?”
I forgot that Matt has no idea who Palmer is in this town. If he ever planned to stay long term, he’d learn what her family means to this town and all the different hands that would be in their relationship. I don’t even realize I’m laughing until Matt speaks again.
“Is it a shit place?” he asks, not understanding.
“It’s her uncle’s restaurant. Go there, and you’ll be in Buzz Wheel that night and be inundated with her family members wanting to know what’s going on.”
“Seriously? At Glacier Point, the owner came up to me, and when I said I was here to train with you, he said he was Palmer’s uncle too.”
“She’s got a lot of aunts and uncles plus over twenty cousins. Most of them live in Lake Starlight for at least part of the year. Her one cousin is Easton Bailey.”
His eyes widen. “The Chicago Colts player?”
I nod. “Plus, another cousin married that professional soccer player, Rylan Greene. His family is from Sunrise Bay, the next town over.”
He sits up straight and shakes his head. Matt’s a big deal, especially in the snowboarding arena, but the Winter Games are only every four years, so he’s not nearly as well-known as Palmer’s cousins. I don’t mention the fact that her mom’s twin is the famous singer Phoenix Bailey and her husband, Griffin, is an esteemed music producer.
“Damn. That’s impressive. No wonder she doesn’t get all googly-eyed like so many other women around me.”
That comment right there makes me suspicious. Is Matt only pursuing Palmer because she’s not fawning all over him?
“I feel like I really need to make sure this is a good date now. Maybe we should go to Anchorage.”
I nod. “You’re safer there than anywhere around here. Even Winterberry Falls has informants who will gossip about you guys to Buzz Wheel.”
“What the hell is this Buzz Wheel?”
I take off my gloves, dig into my pocket, and pull out my phone. “It’s an app that posts the town gossip. Anyone who’s a Bailey is always in there, along with other people in town. No one knows who writes it. It used to be an online blog that would erase each entry after twenty-four hours, but now that it’s an app, you can read any article you want.”
“Fucking small towns.” He hands me back my phone.
I nod and put it back in my pocket, zip it closed, and pull on my gloves.
“One more run and I’m done.” He gets up and walks over to the top of the halfpipe where he takes the liberty of going ahead of everyone.
I get on my board and make my way down the hill to meet him at the bottom. I hate the fact Matt’s going to be alone with her tonight. I know Palmer—she might even sleep with him. Fuck, the image of Matt having his hands on her, grinding inside of her, kissing her skin is agonizing.
Jesus. I slide to a stop at the bottom of the hill. I’m in so deep, I don’t know how to climb my way out. Where is all this coming from? Jealousy isn’t my thing. It never has been.
Damn it all to hell. I might need an exorcism.
I walk into Palmer’s house later that day. “Hello!”
“Up here,” a voice other than Palmer’s calls.
I groan because I recognize that voice, and this one’s always giving me shit.
I climb the stairs and follow the sound of laughter to Palmer’s bedroom. Adley is lying on the bed, enthralled with some television show.
“Hey, kiddo,” I say, sitting next to her.
“Daddy!” She climbs into my lap but continues watching television, leaning her head against my chest.
Harper is curling Palmer’s hair while she sits in a chair facing her vanity mirror, watching.
“What’s all this?” I motion to the two of them. I know, but I want Palmer to tell me.
“Don’t you know, my cousin has a hot D-A-T-E with a snowboarder.” Harper waggles her eyebrows.
At least she spelled out the word date. I’m assuming for Adley’s benefit.
“The other day it looked like you wanted to be the one out with the snowboarder.”
Harper glares at me with the curling iron still in Palmer’s hair.
“Harp!”
“Shit. Sorry.” She quickly loosens the barrel and pulls it from Palmer’s hair.
“Now you swear in front of my kid?” I say, arching an eyebrow.
Harper and I have a unique relationship. She’s the classic feisty redhead who speaks her mind about everything. And usually, when I’m alone with her, she’s telling me that I’m an idiot and saying cliché things like, “shit or get off the pot” or “fish or cut bait.” I’m not sure Harper would be capable of being only friends with a guy. She’s the horniest woman I’ve ever met. She’s always talking about sex or men or her hook-ups. That’s not a judgment. She’s single and an adult, she can do what she wants. But I think to her, Palmer and I are like a rare species she just can’t wrap her head around.
“Like you don’t ever swear.” Harper rolls her eyes and continues curling Palmer’s hair.
I can tell Palmer is reading our lips in the reflection of the mirror because her cochlear implants aren’t in. Through the mirror, she signs to both of us. Cut it out.
Harper stares at her in the mirror. “Why? It’s fun getting him all riled up. What was he like in bed?” she whispers the last part so Adley won’t hear, but she isn’t paying us any attention anyway.
Palmer rolls her eyes. Missionary only and doesn’t go down.
Harper balks and turns around to stare at me.
Fuck off. I sign at them both.
Palmer laughs, knowing it’s not true. Hell, lately I’ve been beating off to the few moments of that night that I remember, plus I’ve filled in the blanks with some of my own imagination.
Harper puts down the curling iron and sprays Palmer’s hair with an obnoxious amount of hairspray. Palmer stands and takes the towel off her shoulders, and it’s then I see that she’s wearing a dress.
A dress?
Palmer doesn’t wear dresses. At least not unless it’s a wedding or something. She’s a jeans-and-T-shirt girl, shorts in the summer. Most of the time when she does have to dress up, she wears pants. A dress makes things especially accessible. Only one slide of the hand up her leg, and you’re inches from her core.
Panic rises inside me, making my chest tight. Matt will take advantage of this dress.
“You’re wearing a dress?” I ask since she’s facing me.
She looks puzzled then walks to her closet, her bare leg sliding out from the fabric.
Fucking hell, there’s a slit. In the dress.
“Yes, she’s wearing a dress. I picked it out. It looks great on her, doesn’t it?” Harper gives me a shit-eating grin.
I squint at her. Of course she’d choose a dress for Palmer. All you have to do is straddle a guy and slide the underwear to the side and bingo. Harper’s right that Palmer looks hot as hell though. I haven’t seen Palmer this done up in a while. She’s had back-to-back deadlines for the past year, and the book she’s working on now has taken a lot out of her. Not that she isn’t gorgeous in her sweats and sweatshirts with her hair thrown up in a messy bun, but this is a showstopper, and Matt’s going to love it.
What are you doing tonight? Palmer signs then grabs her boots. At least they will cover up part of her legs.
She sits next to me on the bed, and her perfume smells delicious. I want it all over me after a night with her. I want to smell it the next day on my sheets.
Wait. What the hell was that?
“Theresa is coming over. I can take Adley,” I say, my voice a bit strained.
Adley sits up straight. “No, Daddy. Harper. We’re making cupcakes.”
“I can make cupcakes too.”
Palmer shakes her head and raises her hands. You and Theresa need time together. I saw her at the hospital, and you’re going to lose her if you don’t put the effort in.
I’m not surprised that she saw Theresa’s pissed-off expression. She notices everything Theresa does.
Palmer grabs her cochlear implants from the vanity she was sitting in front of and puts them on.
“Plus, Adley wants me to babysit her.” Harper holds out her hands and Adley scoots across the mattress over to her. “Right?”
“Right!” Adley screams.
Palmer laughs. “Don’t burn down the kitchen,” she says while signing.
The doorbell rings, and Harper turns so Adley can climb onto her back.
“We’ll get it because you’re going to make a grand entrance,” she says to Palmer.
Harper and my daughter leave the room, leaving me alone with Palmer. She bends down in front of the mirror, fixing her makeup.
“Don’t go,” I blurt before I can think better of it, and Palmer stills.