I blink to make sure I’m not seeing things, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s rescued me when I didn’t realize I needed saving. Did Hudson somehow realize that I should be writing my book and not be on a date?
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I have the same question,” Matt chimes in, and Hudson and I turn in his direction.
“Is it Adley? Is everything okay?” I ignore Matt, but I’m pretty sure if it was her, Hudson would’ve called and not just shown up.
He looks at Matt. “I’m sorry.” Then he bends down again and takes my hands. “This might sound crazy, and if I’m in this alone, then so be it, but Palmer…”
I swallow past the dryness in my throat. Why does this feel like a proposal or something? But that’s ridiculous. Neither of us believes you need a marriage license to spend your life with someone.
I stare at him, because I should be able to see the intention in his eyes. He’s always been transparent to me, but right now, I’m confused.
“And here’s the entrée…oh shit.” Linus stands next to the table with another server holding out two plates. Linus’s eyebrows raise when he sees Hudson crouched down next to me.
“Well, at least I’m getting a good meal,” Matt says as the server places his dish in front of him.
She does the same for me, and Linus stands there frozen, apparently not sure what to do.
Hell, I don’t know what to do.
Matt picks up his fork and digs into his meal.
“Lately, these feelings…” Hudson trails off again. He’s got that nervousness he gets when he’s trying to be open with me. Like a shelter dog who looks like he wants you to pet him but can’t trust you yet. Maybe he needs to hear that.
“What is it? It’s me.” I squeeze his hand.
He nods a few times as if he’s silently convincing himself to speak whatever it is he came here for. “I don’t want you on a date with Matt. I don’t want you to sleep with him.”
“Mission accomplished,” Matt grumbles over his mouthful of food.
“I don’t want to sleep with Matt either,” I confess.
“Great. What a perfect date,” Matt says, sarcasm loaded in his words.
“What about Theresa?”
Hudson shakes his head. “We broke up.”
My shoulders sink. “I’m sorry.” I wasn’t always her biggest fan, but he seemed to really like her for a while.
A smile tips his lips. “You’re not understanding…we broke up because I want you.”
The air whooshes from my lungs. My heart flips, and my stomach feels as if a million little tumblers are inside. “Oh.”
“You could’ve told me, man,” Matt interrupts.
I want to put up my hand and shush Matt. But I’m still processing the fact that my best friend sees me more as than a friend and might be having some of the same feelings I’ve had lately.
Hudson turns to Matt. “I’m sorry, man. I never thought…I mean…”
“Yeah, I suspected I should’ve just stayed away. I knew it on the hill the other day.” He shoves another forkful of food into his mouth.
“I was still figuring it out.”
He chuckles and leans back, swallowing his food. “It’s all good, man. I’d never would’ve stepped in if you’d said anything.” He wipes his mouth with the napkin, picks up his wineglass and downs the rest, then stands. “I’m gonna head out. You two…well…” He looks at both of us. “Good luck.”
He shakes Linus’s hand and thanks him for an incredible meal, telling him that he’ll be back for another meal before he leaves town. The two of them continue to talk and walk out, leaving Hudson and me alone.
The room closes in, and I can barely breathe now that this impromptu surprise is sinking in. I stand, and Hudson follows suit.
“Palmer?” he asks, looking worried.
I put up my hand, keeping my back to him. This is a huge step. A step that could fuck up everything we’ve built.
“What’s the matter? You don’t feel the same way?” I hear him coming closer to me.
I shake my head, turning to face him. “That’s not it. I’ve been feeling something too. But if we…we could…you know…mess it all up. And Adley.”
He takes my hands. “Adley has two parents who love each other. Two parents who have been in denial about their feelings for one another. Two parents who could raise her under one roof with both of us there when she wakes in the morning and to tuck her in at night.”
Hope surfaces in his blue eyes. It all sounds so nice. Like a fairy tale, but fairy tales are just that, stories someone wrote. I know that better than anyone.
“And if we sleep together and then all this”—I motion between us—“just evaporates? What then for our daughter?”
“Is that what you think?” He drops my hands. “That I’m saying all this because I want to have sex with you? Jesus, Palmer.” He turns away from me.
I close my eyes, step forward, and place my hands on his back.
“It’s never been about sex with you. I fucking love you, Palmer.”
He says the last part so softly that I place my cheek lightly on his back, closing my eyes as if it’s going to let me process this abrupt change in our relationship. His back rises and falls with his breaths, and I relish the smell of him. A smell that’s always felt like home to me.
I owe him my honesty.
“I’m scared for her,” I admit. It’s easier to say with his back to me. “I don’t want to fuck her up.”
He turns around, circling his arms around me, and I wrap my arms around his waist. “She’s my number one priority. You know that, right?”
I nod, because we both agree on one thing—Adley comes first, always.
“But I don’t want to deny myself anymore. I want you, Palmer, and if you want me too, then I want us to give this a try. If you want to keep it from Adley until we have some more time to discover what could be, that’s fine, but I’m not going to just take a back seat like I did all those years ago.” He places his finger under my chin and eases my face up to look at him. “I know you’re scared, but you’ve always been able to trust me, right?”
I nod.
“Then trust me and jump into this with me. Let us explore this without any walls up.”
I lose myself in the depth of the love pouring out of his eyes. “I…”
He lowers his head to mine, his lips so close, his breath tickles my nostrils.
“Trust me,” he whispers.
I nod. “Okay.” I inch a little closer, but he draws back.
“Say you love me.”
“Hudson,” I sigh, and he chuckles, inching back when I rise on my tiptoes to reach him. He’s not going to let this go. I feel as if there’s nowhere left to hide anyway, so I speak the truth. “I love you. I always have.”
His finger moves, and he cradles my face, tilting it up to look at him. “You’re gonna love me so much more now.”
I shake my head. “There’s that ego.”
“You love my ego.” He lowers his head to mine, the tips of our noses touching. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
I slide my tongue out to lick my lips. “Okay.”
He tilts his head, and he places a feather-light kiss on my lips. My eyes close, and those tumblers jump around in my stomach again.
The kiss doesn’t stay sweet and tentative for long. My hands slide behind his neck and his fall to my waist, tugging me flush against him. Our lips press more firmly to one another and I’m not sure whose tongue seeks entrance first, but they glide against each other and the sultriest moan rumbles inside me.
God, he’s such a good kisser. That’s one thing that’s never left my memory.
His hands run up and down my back, pushing me into him as if he can’t get me close enough. I’m not objecting. I want to climb him, Velcro myself to him, so we’re never not touching.
He strips his lips from mine, and his lips travel to my ear. “Is Harper staying the night?”
“She wasn’t planning on it.” My fingers run through his sandy-blond hair, loving the sweet kisses he’s giving me under my ear.
“Can she?”
“We can call and ask.”
He pulls away, and I reach for him. “Call her.”
“We can go home. Adley will be asleep.”
He shakes his head. “Ask her.”
I hate to admit it, but I like this bossy side. I walk over to my chair, immediately aware that we’ve been making out in the middle of a restaurant kitchen, and pull out my phone.
I send the text, not sure what Hudson is thinking. If we go to his house, Harper will probably see us.
She probably assumes it’s Matt, and I’m not going to correct her.
Hudson stands back, his hands in his pockets, waiting for my answer. I nod and put my phone back in my purse. He grabs my hand, winding us through the kitchen.
“See you two,” Linus says, and I barely see the smile on his face before we’re through the restaurant.
Hudson is on a mission, but he stops me outside the lobby’s ladies’ room. “Go inside and I’ll text you.”
“What?” I shake my head.
“Trust me?”
“Well, yeah, but…”
He opens the door for me. An elderly woman scowls as she’s walking out, and Hudson is quick to apologize. His expression says for me to follow the directions he’s giving, so I let the door close.
While I’m here, I might as well look at myself and make sure my makeup is all right. Ten minutes later, I’m pacing the length of the restroom and becoming worried, but my phone finally dings with a text.
My back falls against the wall, and I put my hand over my heart. He got us a hotel room?
My phone lights up with another text.
God, he is smart, because if we got ratted out in Buzz Wheel, that would be the worst. Especially after I was on a date with someone else, and he just broke up with Theresa. Linus knows enough not to say anything. We made a pact years ago not to give away each other’s gossip to that stupid app. I can only hope that everyone in the kitchen was too busy working to notice Hudson and me kissing.
I slide out of the bathroom and look both ways. There are a few people lingering in the lobby, but I don’t recognize them, so I head out, trying to think of how to avoid being recognized as I make my way to the bank of elevators. Then I realize if I really want to be careful, there’s only one way.
Turning back around, I head down the hall to the stairway. I walk up the four flights of stairs, open the door to the hallway, and peek out. It’s empty, so I push the door all the way open and rush down the hall to door 434.
Nerves rack my body as I raise my fist to knock on the door and pause.
You can do this. It’s Hudson.
I’m about to knock when the door swings open.
Our eyes lock and a warm smile bursts across Hudson’s face. “What are you waiting for?”
“You.” I step in, and the door closes behind me.