IT IS AROUND THIS TIME that Enid reminds me in a late-night call that the second doorway must be closed. The Volkov incident was a major disturbance. She implies that we are lucky to have survived its opening.
‘But Simone is safe now,’ I say, mystified by her call. ‘Volkov is dead. She’s talking to me about what happened, and she’s even implicated Nada Sarrazin in a statement to the police. That must mean that whatever you’re doing with her is working. She’s starting to process what happened to her.’
‘You are not using your brain, Ms Dante,’ Enid says in her singsong voice. ‘The simpler conclusion to be reached is not always the correct one. Her silence had value − it meant that she was still protecting herself. Her friend has not returned.’
Yes, of course, Roxy is still gone. Recalcitrance suddenly seems pointless and childish. From far away the tinny voice’s slowed-down cadences lull me into acquiescence.
‘The doorway is still open. The man, the woman, the child – their fates are linked. To go beyond what our minds can fully grasp; this requires courage.’
A chute of silky darkness deposits me on grasslands dotted with wild flowers. Above me is a blue sky with shimmering clouds perpetually rearranging themselves in a multi-hued palette. A freestanding stone portico with three openings is mysteriously embedded in the landscape. When I get closer I see that the wooden door in the second doorway stands slightly ajar, and I know that the skulking shadows are waiting for me.
‘Do you have that kind of courage Ms Dante?’
Pull yourself together. She’s a hypnotherapist; it’s just long-distance autosuggestion. Salty sea air roars past me as I open a window. When I look around again there’s nothing out of the ordinary.
‘Is this like a test?’ I ask, leaning my cheek against the cool wall, the phone to my other ear. ‘Do I fail if I don’t do it?’
‘Call it what you will,’ Enid says, unperturbed. ‘The gods have granted you a momentary reprieve. Nothing is timeless. If you do not do this, Simone will not be able to hold herself together.’
‘What are we talking about here, Enid? Do I have to walk barefoot over hot coals or something?’
Her sigh comes down the line. ‘You must go to the Prioress, and you must convince her to let Simone follow another path.’
‘Now I know you’ve lost your marbles.’
‘No, I have not lost my meubles, Ms Dante. It is my emperor’s palace, as you call it, which gives me access to another way of thinking, a palace of the mind. In this palace there is a room for you and there is a room for Simone. There is only one interleading door. The Prioress has a plan. She will follow this plan because she believes it is in her interest to do so unless she is persuaded not to, or her plan comes to fruition, or the girl is no longer available to her. If you let Simone walk out the second doorway, it will be almost impossible to get her back.’
‘Oh, give me a break, Enid. You don’t expect me to actually believe this hocus pocus, do you?’
‘I can only tell you what my mind tells me. I see the second doorway standing open. It can only be closed by the Prioress, who was once Amporia, the Great Leader’s wife. Everything started at that place, and it must be ended there. The great circle of life consists of many smaller circles.’
‘How do you suggest I get in to see her? I haven’t exactly established a good rapport with that little dictator she sent in her place.’
‘I have a letter that Marie left behind with her personal effects. Because of the letter the Prioress will agree to see you.’
‘I don’t have the time to go running off to Europe on some pointless mission to a cult Prioress who’s got her own warped agenda. I’m not going anywhere, I’m staying home.’
‘Put your fax machine on,’ Enid says softly, a moth in the dark. ‘It is a translated copy. Then you will know almost everything.’
I don’t want it, I want to shout, but my voice is trapped, strangled.
Click. She’s gone.
My dear Marie
How pale and wan I found you! It saddens me to hear what passed today. I have been here so much longer than you. I can help you. To disagree with the Great Leader is to show your humanity. I also believed I knew better when I first came. I too was a silly goose who suffered from being a smug and prideful person. My rich family and their prideful wasteful ways led me to believe I was superior to everybody else. It was only when I bowed down to our Lord Jesus’s supreme will that I understood that He had led me to this sanctuary from the outside world so that I could find my true self, and that my intellect was hampering me from seeing the truth. It was the path He wanted me to tread. I understand now that I was chosen from millions. He saw something in me I did not see in myself. I was no longer jealous of the women cycling freely past our fence and stopped thinking about my family; they had chosen to turn away from Jesus. My path was different.
Your rebellion has hurt the Master, and hurts us all too. He has sent me to share my experience with you. The path to happiness lies within these walls. I have experienced it personally; I am living proof of the way of light. You must trust the Great Leader: he is the tangible expression of Jesus and always knows best. Jesus is strength and we are weakness.
If you can give up the Devil’s music, then you can give up all other prideful wasteful activities and grow closer to Jesus. Ungodly music is the Devil’s clever way of luring us away from our true being. In a few weeks your pain will be forgotten; you will see how selfish and vain you were to question Jesus’s commands. The Great Leader is Jesus’s vessel, Jesus’s commands flow through him to us. We few are the chosen ones; the light is within these walls. There is nothing out there that you can learn that you cannot learn here, of humility and grace, while you serve Jesus. Jesus cares about you; that’s why he sent you to us. You must cease this dancing with the Devil!
Your sister in the love of our Great Leader
and Jesus the Lord of all,
Amporia