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ROSE HURRIED DOWN THE hall, tugging her tunic over her head while trying to juggle her boots. She had wriggled into the rest of her clothes as soon as the door to the underground springs had closed, but the moment she could leave, she did.
How dare he! How dare he sit there and act like nothing had happened.
Her heart was still racing, as her mind screamed with humiliation and, she cursed herself, excitement. The thought of what had just happened angered her as much as it embarrassed her.
The rough texture of her shirt rubbed against her wet skin, as she nimbly finished tying her belt. Her feet, still bare, flinched at the uneven flooring of the castle, but she did not slow her pace.
She vowed that she would not think of seeing Theo, seeing him in his wet undergarments, fighting off her watery blows as he tried to calm her.
It was not the first time she had seen his chest or his back, but something about the way he had been covered with the steam of the hot springs, and the way the light had flickered off his chest....
“No!” she admonished herself. “No, stop thinking about it! This is exactly what you know you cannot do!”
Rose was relieved that she was still alone as she hurried through the castle. She knew they had guards keeping watch, but she had been lucky enough to avoid them.
In fact, she suddenly realized as she looked around, she was lost.
“How stupid can you be?” she asked, chastising herself. Rose looked around the unfamiliar halls of the palace, uncertain of where she had made a wrong turn. “Great.”
She took a few moments to put her boots on, and then tried to recall her steps. Invariably, she had to stop herself from thinking of everything that happened before she left the hot springs.
Finally, she saw a familiar marker.
The tapestry of Queen Lucia hung proudly against the cold stone of the castle walls. The penetrating eyes seemed harrowing as they gazed down at her. Rose watched as the first gleam early morning light—or maybe the last of the moonlight—as it illuminated the Queen’s gaze.
From where Rose stood, she saw a look of quiet judgment, almost a motherly look of sorts. It was as if Lucia knew of the dark secrets of her heart, the ones that she might have sung to the dragon, but still tried to silence inside her own heart.
“It’s a lovely tapestry, don’t you think?”
Rose didn’t move as Juliette came and stood beside her. “It was a wedding gift from one of our ambassadors who lives in Einish.”
“It is beautiful,” Rose said, as she stared at it. She didn’t feel the need to admit it made her unnerved.
“There aren’t many of these tapestries in the world anymore,” Juliette said. “The lady who made them died several years ago. She was a very skilled weaver. She used to work at some of the tournaments around the Einish border near Rhone.”
“What happened to her?” Rose asked, more concerned with establishing rapport with the new Queen than finding out more about the weaver’s fate.
“She fell in love with one of Rhone’s knights, from what I heard, much to her father’s dismay. It wasn’t too long before they married and had children.”
Rose felt an uncomfortable amount of jealousy at the woman’s happiness.
“The tapestries of Lucia are thought to have magical powers,” Juliette continued. “Of course, I don’t believe that. But when you see it, there are moments when you have to wonder if it’s not true.”
Rose nodded. “I will agree with that,” she said. “I’ve met Titania, Lucia’s daughter who lives out in the Greek territories, near the Aegean. This picture reminds me of her.”
“Lucia was known for her charms, before they ended up costing her.”
“Titania told me that she made Benedict, one of King Arthur’s wandering knights, a knight of Rhone. He became King after he managed to dispose of her.”
Juliette giggled. “There’s always more to the story,” she said. “In the version of their story I have heard, Benedict and Lucia, coming from their different worlds, had trouble deciding how to rule the people of Rhone. Benedict had the advantage in war; Lucia had her fairy power. He wanted to rule through force, and she wanted to rule by magic. He went along with pleasing her for a long time, but as it grew harder not to feel like her equal, her partner, and even her king, he used Magdust to gain power.”
“And that’s why he imprisoned her?” Rose asked. “Because she wouldn’t bow down to his wishes?”
Juliette smiled. “Have you ever been in love, Princess?”
Rose felt the familiar fury at the question, but she knew Juliette was asking it out of ignorance, not to make her feel bad.
“No,” she answered. “And please, call me Rose.”
“It might be hard for you understand. Love between two people almost has a life of its own. Some poets have compared it to dancing, where there is a give and take, a leader and a follower. Other philosophers have said that it’s more like a sword fight.”
“I’ll take that one over the dancing,” Rose said. She grinned. “I’m better at fighting.”
“With all the fighting you’ve done, from the tales I’ve heard, you should know that there is a time for peace.”
“Of course.” Rose nodded.
“It is the same in marriage, when two people are in love. Sometimes one person leads, and the other must submit.” Juliette sighed. “I don’t think either Lucia or Benedict were able to handle the submission part that comes with love.”
“I don’t blame them,” Rose scoffed. “It’s a sign of losing.”
“When you truly love someone, it is more a sign of trust.” Juliette smiled. “When Benedict had to earn her love, I imagine it was very hard for him to trust her. What if he wasn’t able to keep hold of her affection? That was why it was easier to dispose of her in the end. If it wasn’t for the matter of the kingdom, he likely would have just left her.”
Rose looked back up at the Queen, and suddenly she saw her sad, judgmental eyes in a new light; Lucia suddenly came across as too proud, too stubborn, and too aloof. She never had to earn Benedict’s love, but she was free to be the judge of whether or not he was worthy of her.
“Well,” Rose said, after a few long moments of silence, “I guess either way you look at it, at least the tapestry is beautiful.”
“Beautiful things can hide ugly secrets,” Juliette said. Rose cringed, thinking of her own heart, hidden by her outward charms. “But you’re right about the tapestry.”
“Do you come down here to look at it a lot, or did you just happen to be passing by when you found me?” Rose asked, happy to find a way to change the subject. She did not want to think about true love and marriage, real or legendary.
“I usually wake up early to say goodbye to the moonlight,” Juliette admitted. “Even though it has been over a year since the sorcerer who enchanted me was killed, I fear I will wake up to find this has all been a dream, and I will turn back into a swan at moonset.”
“I can tell you it’s not a dream,” Rose told her. “If that makes you feel better.”
Juliette giggled again, making Rose wonder how young she was. She seemed very innocent. Derick was a few years older than Philip, but Rose had a hard time imagining that Juliette was much older than she was, if Juliette was older at all.
“There’s just so much in my life I couldn’t believe before,” Juliette said. “I mean, not too many people end up cursed.”
“Tell me about it,” Rose muttered.
“And now, here I am,” Juliette continued, oblivious to Rose’s increasing discomfort, “pregnant, with a husband who loves me, and a stronger kingdom coming out of our two lands. It is a miracle.”
“See?” Rose said. She gave the Queen a kind and sad smile. “If it’s a miracle, then it’s not a dream.”
“I’ll take comfort in your observation, Rose,” Juliette said, her eyes lit up with happiness. “And I thank you for it.”
“You’re welcome.”
Rose shifted her feet uncomfortably as Juliette put a hand on her belly, where, inside of her, her child grew. Rose did not want to think about how much she envied Juliette.
“Speaking of observations, Juliette,” Rose said, deciding it was time to change the subject once more, “I was wondering if you would be able to point me in the direction of my room? I seem to be a bit lost.”
“Sure,” Juliette replied.
Despite Juliette’s kindness, Rose was glad, moments later, to be free from the Queen’s presence. And that, she told herself, is why I don’t want to get married.
Juliette was a very lovely lady, and Rose was sure she was a nice person. But what did she really know of the world? Of another’s suffering? Juliette was just a pretty queen who could empower the nation by having children. Rose doubted Juliette would ever play a real, decisive role in her nation’s future again, and she even suspected that Juliette would not mind if that were the case.
Rose tried not to sigh. It was also possible Juliette would not even notice her secondary role. Juliette would just do what she had been talking about earlier; she would see it as part of a loving marriage, and submit.
Rose frowned. She knew she certainty had no desire to do that.
But as she approached the door to her room, she knew she was not being completely honest with herself.
Theo was standing outside her door.
The sight of him, fully dressed, with his hair still sticky with steam and sweat, caused a pool of heat to settle into her belly. Her mind was flooded with that moment back in Poiyana, when she had surrendered, when she had submitted—when she had closed her eyes and waited for Theo to kiss her.
Not only had she wanted it, she had willingly hoped for it.
Rose watched as Theo raised his hand to knock on her door, and waited again. She realized he did not see her in the shadows of the hall behind him. He thought she was already back in her room.
He faltered just as his hand poised to knock.
Rose held her breath. Her whole body went rigid as she watched him, wondering if he was going to knock on her door.
She wondered, if she were on the other side of the door, if she would open it.
Slowly, eventually, Theo dropped his hand.
He ran his hand through his ebony hair and then shook his head. He slowly backed away, before he headed down the hall in the other direction. He never saw her.
The instant he was out of sight, Rose hurried into her room, suddenly distraught. The heat in her belly cooled into nausea, and she felt dizzy.
Rose was not fooled; she knew the answer to her question. She had wanted him to knock, and she wanted to believe that she would have answered. Part of her wanted to go find him again and tell him what she was thinking.
Rose fell back against the door, the rough wood. “No, no. That’s stupid. I’m not going to say anything.”
“Not going to say anything about what?”
Mary’s voice, rested and relaxed, so much at odds with her own reality, jarred against Rose’s exasperation.
Rose looked over toward the small fairy, who was lying down on one of the bigger pillows on her bed.
“What’s wrong, Rose?” Mary asked, sitting up.
Rose shook her head. “Nothing,” she insisted. “How are you feeling? Did you get enough rest?”
Mary glowered at her. “I’d be better,” she said, “if I knew you weren’t lying. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Rose felt the heat in the back of her neck. “I don’t want to talk about it, Mary. It’s too embarrassing.”
“I could always do a truth spell,” Mary mused.
“Now I know you’re teasing me.” Rose gave her a small smile. “I know you would never betray me.”
“Rose.” Mary sat up against the fluffy pillows. “I’m worried for you.”
“Please, don’t worry about me right now. We have a lot prepping to do before we leave tomorrow.”
“Rose,” Mary said. “Come and lie down. Your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are glassy. You’re feverish.” Her wings, thin and delicate against the last shadow of night, fluttered. She held up her hand against Rose’s forehead.
“Little mother,” Rose murmured, giving Mary a pat on the head, ruffling the short ginger locks affectionately.
“Let me help you sleep, Rose,” Mary said. “You’ll feel better. After all the weeks on the road, you need to get some quality sleep. I can attest to the comfort King Derick has been kind enough to offer us. I’ve barely wanted to move since we’ve come.”
“I know you needed it,” Rose said. “After all the healing you’ve done for Theo, I’m well aware you needed it. I know it took a lot out of you, fighting against the dragon magic.”
Saying his name was a mistake. Rose took another deep breath to steady herself.
“I might be rested, but you’re the one who needs it now, Rose.”
“No. I’m too afraid of what I might dream of,” Rose told her.
“You know, you never did tell me the full story what happened back in the Serpent’s Garden,” Mary said. “But I never thought it was that terrifying to you.
“I sang to the dragon,” Rose reminded her. “I told you that.”
“It wasn’t just singing,” Mary pushed. “I know you, Rose. I’ve watched over you since the day you were born. Something has changed, and you won’t tell me what it is.”
“It’s awful.” Rose pressed against the door, allowing herself to slide down to the floor, her head falling to her chest. More of her hair escaped the quick bun she had tied back earlier.
“I know you have had a hard life, but I have been there more often than not,” Mary said. “Let me help you, Rose.”
“You can’t,” Rose told her. “It’s me. I’m the problem.”
Mary looked at her with an expectant look.
“It’s less than six months until my birthday. I don’t have much longer.”
“We’re getting there, Rose.”
“I still want so much more out of life.” Rose sighed. “I am grateful for you, and the others. I just want ... more.” She felt the lump in her throat tighten again. “When I went to go see the dragon, and I sang, I sang Queen Lucia’s song. About how she wanted love, someone who would be worthy of her love.”
“Is that what you want?” Mary asked.
It was harder to answer, now that she knew more about Queen Lucia and her complicated relationship with Benedict.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Rose shook her head. “I’m not worthy of love, Mary. Not really. I’m cursed. I can’t offer someone a future, or a family. Not until the curse is broken. I just want the curse broken, so I can be free.”
“I think someone will love you even if your curse can’t be broken,” Mary told her softly.
“I don’t want someone to love me like that. Like this,” Rose said. “I do have to kill Magdalina if she refuses to free me from her curse, remember? I have to destroy her, to save myself.”
“You will be protecting the rest of your family, and likely others, from her wrath,” Mary said.
“Even though that’s likely true, there is the matter that if I don’t make it, anyone who loves me will be devastated.” Rose sniffed. “Magdalina has to be the cruelest person who ever lived, to make me suffer like this.”
“She was very adamant about making your father pay,” Mary remarked. “It seems she did a good job of that.”
“Why? What did she want the King to pay for?” Rose asked. “She couldn’t have been that upset, just because she was not invited to my party.”
“It wasn’t just that she was not invited,” Mary said. “Everything that could have been done to shield you from her was done. The King didn’t even want her to know of your birth.”
“Why?” Rose asked. “Why was he afraid of her?”
“I don’t know for sure,” Mary said. “I heard him talk about breaking a deal with her once. That was it. I didn’t hear any details. And that might not even be why she’s so upset with him, really.”
Rose thought of Theo again. “He hates Theo, too, doesn’t he?”
“The King never liked him, precisely because you did,” Mary said. “He was upset with him for telling you the truth about your curse, and all the resulting grievances you gave him. You were a perfect child, Rose, before you found out about everything. Once you knew the truth—”
“I was never the same.” Rose put her head in her hands. “And the King blames Theo for that.”
Mary nodded. “He didn’t like that you demanded that Theo would join you and your siblings for classes, either. He felt he should have stayed in the church and let his family take care of educating him. You were lucky you insisted, Rose, or you might not have Theo by your side today.”
“I’m the one who’s letting him pursue his revenge,” Rose said. “Theo might be more lucky if I hadn’t.”
“Life is never free of pain, Rose,” Mary said softy. “But we each get to choose what kind of pain we experience.”
“Sometimes it’s not a choice,” Rose said, thinking how Theo just stood there, in the hot springs, as he looked at her with that strange expression on his face. She wanted to go back to that moment and reach for him instead of run from him, back to that moment when her heart had fluttered so dangerously. “I would never choose this.”
“No one would choose to be cursed as you, Rose,” Mary said, patting her hand.
Rose nearly jumped. “Yeah,” she agreed, her voice listless.
She decided not to correct Mary. She could not imagine confessing her dreams of letting herself fall in love, without fear that the fall would lead to only despair.
There was nothing to be done, Rose thought, desolate once more. She would just go on, as she had always gone on.
“Mary?” Rose looked over at her longtime friend. “It’s morning. Let’s go over what we need to take care of before we leave here tomorrow. Derick and Philip wanted us to take care of some trouble while we travel through the forest.”
“Rose,” Mary said, “please, go to bed. You need to rest. You’re exhausted. I’ll see to everything today.”
“No. There’s so much to do still. There are so many questions to answer.” Rose shook her head, but as soon as she stood up, the room began to spin.
She barely realized she was still awake as Mary whisked her off her feet. The last thing she heard herself say was, “Please don’t let me dream, Mary,” before there was nothing but darkness.