My eternal love to Mom, for always believing in me, no matter how lofty my dreams, and to my brother, for keeping a roof over my head while I finished this book. Kurt, you kept my writing skills sharp distracting me with our other projects—here’s to many more!
Boundless gratitude to my incredible agent Larissa. From our earliest interactions your warmth and sincerity shone through every exchange. The first draft I sent you was pretty rough, but you saw its potential before anyone else, and I'll never forget it. Thank you for sifting through its flaws and helping me cut and polish the heart of this story, then finding it a home. You are a kind soul and fierce advocate, and I couldn't have achieved this dream without you.
Endless thanks to my wonderful editor Katie Dent. Your enthusiasm for this story was so infectious, it renewed my love for this book and powered me through the last of the many, many edits. Your finishing touches truly grounded my afterlife and balanced out the despair with hope. Thank you for sheperding this story out into the world with the kind and thoughtful touch it needs.
Thank you to everyone at Titan Books for making me feel so at home, even across the pond. Props to Natasha MacKenzie for designing my dream cover, literally—I used to daydream about seeing the title on a headstone, and you must’ve read my mind!
Thank you to my mentor Roma Panganiban for all your insight and inspiration. You helped make Mal better—by making her worse. I will forever cherish every comment you left that had me screaming with laughter.
Thank you to Brenda Drake and the team behind Pitch Wars for the life-changing opportunity. You all worked so hard for so many years to uplift writers like me. Pitch Wars was such a special program, and I hope we’ll see its like again someday.
Thank you to my dear friend Isi for all your encouragement and wisdom. You are a beautiful badass, like Buffy Summers.
Shout out to Jordan Link, Emily Abdow, the Cephalosquad, and my Avengers of Color friends who adopted me in spite of not making it into that program. Thank you for beta reading, weathering the query trenches together, and all the laughter.
Thank you to Mrs. Hendry and Mr. Larson, my high school Creative Writing and English teachers, for being gentle and encouraging cultivators in the garden of young minds. I wrote the first words of this book in your class, Mrs. Hendry! (Needless to say they did not end up in the final version, but eventually, that nameless narrator and “Ainsley” evolved into Mal and Evie.)
Much love to Cole for letting me ramble on.
Finally, no thanks to the former residents of Casa Basura, no thanks to my college Creative Writing professors who tried to steer me away from the fantasy genre, and no thanks to my old coworker who tried to mansplain publishing to me. I made it in spite of you all, though I made good use of your ghosts. Have a nice life!
But to end on a sweeter note—thank you, dear reader. I hope this story brought you as much catharsis as it did for me. Remember: you deserve to live.