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What am I doing? I’ve lost my mind!
Cammie chewed her bottom lip as Lucky steered his truck with a white-knuckled grip. She’d practically attacked him outside of Hell’s Belle. If her Grandma Opal was still alive and found out what she’d done, she’d skin her hide for being so... so... wanton. She couldn’t help it, though. She’d adored and, yes, lusted for Lucky Masters about as long as Kenzie had craved Chance, but she’d done a better job of hiding it than her friend had in the early days. A realist to the core, she knew the older boy hadn’t even acknowledged her existence, but as they’d gotten older, listening to the voice of reason had gotten harder to do.
She wasn’t his type. She wasn’t busty and wild. She wasn’t a drinker. She hadn’t even finished the one drink she’d ordered tonight. To tell the truth, it had tasted about as appetizing as dog spit. Grandma Opal had raised her to respect her body and save it for the man who recognized her as the treasure she was. But Grandma Opal didn’t understand just what Lucky Masters did to her. And Grandma Opal hadn’t known her time was limited.
No, she didn’t have a sick friend, but she’d been so scared and had just wanted to tell someone what was going on. She’d needed comfort, but didn’t want the pity that would have come with it. So she’d told Lucky her friend was sick. It had helped a little to talk about it, even though she was still keeping her sickness a secret from everyone.
She’d realized something as she’d spoken the fears out loud. Life was short, and nothing was sadder than a dream escaping you because you never even bothered to reach for it.
She wanted to love Lucky Masters and to be loved by him. She’d waited so long, hoping he’d see her in a new light someday and ask her out. Well, she didn’t know if she had the time to wait any longer. Her medication wasn’t doing its job well. Lucky might never put a ring on her finger, but she’d rather die having made love to the man she’d wanted for over half her life than die a virgin, never knowing what it was like to be that intimate with someone her heart ached for.
The truck careened around a corner and traveled down a narrow lane bisecting rows of mobile homes. Lucky didn’t lay off the gas until he brought the truck to a screeching halt outside a white, aluminum-sided double wide. “It’s not much, but there’s a bed.”
Cammie swallowed hard at the mention of a bed. She was going to go through with this. She was going to sleep with Lucky Masters. Excitement and fear swam around in her head as the tall cowboy got out and made his way around the front of the truck to open the passenger door.
“You sure you wanna do this?” he asked, holding out a hand.
Licking her lips, Cammie nodded. She would not leave this world without knowing what it was like to spend the night in Lucky’s arms. She placed her hand in his bigger one and allowed him to help her out of the truck.
“I’ve never brought anyone here,” he murmured softly as he fit a key into the front door and pushed it open. “I know it’s an eyesore. Hope you don’t mind, but you’re not the type of lady to take to a motel, and I know your grandma would probably pull a gun on me.”
Cammie laughed at the image of her grandmother holding Lucky at gunpoint. “Maybe a frying pan, but no gun... and Grandma Opal passed away last year.”
Lucky stopped abruptly inside the door, nearly causing her to run into him. He turned to look down into her eyes, his own coated in genuine sincerity. “I’m sorry, Cammie. I guess I should have known that.”
“It’s fine. There was a small ceremony at the church. It was her time, you know?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Shadows formed over Lucky’s eyes as he closed the door behind them and looked around the room they stood in. It appeared to be a combination living room and kitchen with minimal furniture and no homey touches. “I guess we all have our time.”
Judging by the haunted tone in his voice, Cammie safely deduced he was either thinking of the woman who’d killed herself after sleeping with him three months ago, or his own mother who’d passed away recently. She wanted to offer condolences, but knew it would ruin the mood, and the surge of courage that had given her the fortitude to shove Lucky against the wall at Hell’s Belle and set forth this adventure would not last forever.
“Hey.” She gently palmed his jaw and redirected his gaze down into her face. “Don’t forget what we came here for.”
He stepped back. “I don’t know about this, Cam. I don’t want to be your regret.”
Cammie almost laughed. He was her regret. Every day, she regretted not having the courage to go for what she wanted. That ended now.
“Tell you what,” she said, pulling her T-shirt over her head to expose the lacy red bra beneath. “I’m going to bed. You can join me or not.”
She turned and headed down the narrow hall to her left, hoping the sight of her meager chest in the sexy lingerie did the trick. Lucky had been with a lot of women, and she didn’t doubt half of them, maybe more than half, had better bodies than her. But she wasn’t unattractive, and knowing a nearly naked woman was getting into his bed had to have some effect on the man, regardless of whether he was trying to be a gentleman.
An open door showed a full-size bed in a room decorated with prize belts from rodeos Lucky had competed in. Cammie stepped inside, kicked off her heels and shimmied out of her jeans beside the bed.
“It just had to be a matching set,” came a rough voice from the doorway.
Cammie grinned as her heart pitter-pattered with nerves. She’d never even worn a two-piece bathing suit in public, and now she stood in Lucky’s bedroom in skimpy red lace lingerie, pulling back the dark blue cover on his bed to expose the white cotton sheets beneath.
Lucky’s warm hands, roughened from years of ranch work, came around her waist, and Cammie jumped, not realizing he’d moved from the doorway so quickly.
“Sorry,” he murmured as his lips tickled her neck.
“You’re fine,” Cammie said, her voice rushing out in a whisper as her nerves kicked into high gear. She prayed he couldn’t hear the frantic beating of her heart as he turned her around with a gentle push of her hip and pulled her tight against his chest to devour her mouth.
Cammie melted into the kiss as his tongue dipped and explored. He tasted of liquor and dreams, a flavor Cammie thought could definitely become habit-forming as she felt herself falling backward. Her back hit the soft mattress and Lucky’s weight settled on top of her.
She opened her eyes to stare straight into blue orbs smoldering with hunger, looking down at her as if she were the tastiest morsel ever created. Cammie licked her kiss-swollen lips as her mind reeled. She’d fantasized about this moment for over a decade, but never thought she’d have to state the obvious. “You have on too many clothes.”
Lucky chuckled as he rose to his knees, kneeling between her legs. “That I do.”
Cammie watched in awe as he quickly pulled his white T-shirt over his head, revealing a lean, chiseled chest buff from years of working ranches, and then unfastened his belt.
“You sure about this, honey? We’re about to reach the no going back point.”
She nodded, her voice frozen in her throat. He was beautiful, and he was with her. Even if it was just for one night, it would be a memory she would take to the grave, smiling all the way. Lucky Masters had left Hell’s Belle with her, not anyone else, and he was going to make love to her in a place he’d never brought another woman. She was in his home, a place she’d wanted to see since she was a child, desperate to know every detail about his life. There would be no regrets no matter what happened when the sun rose because right now, she was living a dream she’d feared would never become real.
Lucky kissed her softly before rising from the bed to discard the rest of his clothing. Fully nude, the six-foot-one blond was an imposing image, but the hand he ran over her hip and stomach as he rejoined her on the bed was gentle.
“Now you have on too many clothes,” he said with a grin before covering her mouth with his and sliding his hand underneath her to unhook her bra.
As air hit her freed breasts, Cammie arched her back impulsively, earning a groan of appreciation from Lucky as their chests met.
Lucky trailed away from her mouth, sprinkling kisses along her body from jaw to stomach, taking time to kiss each nipple and dip inside her navel. Cammie’s breath caught as he tasted each sensitive spot and grabbed his head, determined to hold him in place, but he eluded her as he trailed down, pulling her panties away from her body as his lips and tongue sampled every inch of her thighs.
Cammie’s nerves kicked in as he made his way back up her body, air tickling the wet flesh he left behind as his mouth explored. He settled over her, their two bodies perfectly aligned, and pushed a wayward lock of hair back from her face. He smiled softly, then reached for the jeans lying on the floor.
Had he changed his mind? No! This could be her only chance!
Cammie gripped his biceps and pulled him back down on top of her.
“Baby, I gotta g—”
“Now, Lucky. I can’t wait.”
“But—”
“Now!” She raised her pelvis, unsure what else to do.
He entered her body as he sealed her mouth, catching the gasp of pain that escaped as he broke Cammie’s barrier. Not noticing her reaction, he drove in and out as his tongue dueled with hers. Cammie focused on the kiss, losing herself in the sensation of tasting him until her body adapted to his.
“This feels so damn good,” he groaned against her lips. “You’re so freaking tight.”
Unsure whether that was good or bad, Cammie continued doing the only thing she was experienced in. She kissed Lucky with every bit of passion she had inside, pouring years of pent-up longing into each dip of her tongue.
As a tingling sensation built deep inside her, she had to pull away from Lucky’s mouth and bury her face in the crook of his neck as the pleasurable feeling grew more powerful, threatening to drown her. Just when she reached the highest point, Lucky groaned and fell against her, his weight barely supported by his elbows as he breathed heavily against her ear. Panting herself, Cammie rubbed the smooth skin along Lucky’s back, already dreading the moment he would exit her and break the magic spell that had made him hers for the too brief moment in time.
“That was good,” he said breathlessly as he withdrew from her, kissed her forehead, and rolled onto his back.
Cammie studied him, his body gently lit by the pale sliver of moonlight shining through the blinds covering his bedroom window. Sweat glistened on his perfectly sculpted chest as it rose and fell. One hand covered his brow, obscuring his face in shadow. She could see the talented mouth that had explored her body and itched to reach out and trace the smooth lines.
The hand that had been resting on his flat stomach reached over and caressed her thigh. “You can stay the night, and I’ll take you to work in the morning. Hell, it’s morning already, but we can catch a few hours’ sleep,” he said as he raised his upper body off the bed and tugged at the covers.
Cammie shifted, allowing him to pull the sheet from beneath her so they could get under it, grateful she could cover up. Now that the act was over, she felt exposed and embarrassed to be naked with him. She reached for the sheet, eager to cover her bare body. “Do you have an alarm clock? We should set it f—” She stopped as she noticed him staring at a splotch on the sheet.
“Are you on your period, Cam... or is this what I think it is?”
Embarrassment heating her face, Cammie grabbed the sheet. “I’ll wash your sheets, Lucky.”
“I don’t care about the damn sheet,” he snapped, snatching the bunched material back. “Tell me this wasn’t your first time.”
Her face grew warmer, but her body grew cold as she registered the angry undertone in Lucky’s gravelly voice. Feeling vulnerable, and afraid to grab for the sheet again, she pulled her knees to her chest and crossed her arms over them. “It’s all right, Lucky. I wanted to do this.”
“Well, I didn’t.” He punched the mattress and turned away from her, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to sit with his back ramrod straight. “You didn’t tell me I’d be taking your virginity. That was a fucking deal breaker!” He turned his head, looking in her direction but not meeting her gaze. “Did I hurt you?”
“I’m all right,” she answered, voice shaking as her bottom lip wobbled. This was not the way she’d pictured the moment after in her fantasies.
“Good.” He rose from the bed and snatched the sheet off. “I could have seriously hurt you. Why didn’t you tell me? How in the hell can you even be a virgin? You’re twenty-eight years old.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore,” she pointed out, and instantly regretted it as he speared her with a dark look that glistened with so much anger she could see it in the darkness. “And there’s nothing wrong with waiting. Kenzie was a virgin until Chance, and she’s the same age as me.”
“Kenzie’s been in love with Chance since she was ten years old. She probably saved herself for Chance,” Lucky snapped. “What reason would you wait so damn long and then blow it on—” He shook his head as he backed up a step, wadding the sheet in his hands. “Hell no, Cammie. I’m not your freaking Prince Charming. I’m not the kind of guy you bring home to meet the family or walk up to the altar with. Being your first will not change the way I am.”
Cammie’s eyes burned. She’d told herself she knew this and would be happy with the one night with Lucky, but having him say out loud that this was just sex and he didn’t want anything else from her made her realize that deep in her heart, she’d hoped for the very thing he was warning her would never happen. Like a silly teenage girl, she’d hoped he’d feel something when they joined, something more than the physical pleasure that came with the act.
“I’m sorry this was such a horrible experience for you,” she managed to say while fighting back tears. “I’ll walk home and never bother you again.”
“Like hell you will.” He crossed over to the closet and yanked a plaid, button-down shirt off a hanger before tossing it in front of her on the bed. “Go take a hot bath. It might help keep you from feeling sore when you wake up. I’ll change the sheets while you’re doing that. You can have the bed tonight.”
Holding the offered shirt to her chest, Cammie slowly stood from the bed and crossed the room. Her body hurt, unused to the exercise it had just been put through, but she took care not to let it show as she covered herself with the shirt and stepped into the narrow hall.
“Cammie.”
She turned to see Lucky standing next to the bed, seemingly unashamed by his own nudity.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, but this wasn’t right. A man should know whether he’s taking something this important from a woman so he can make the right decision. I never would have done this with you had I known I’d be your first.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” Cammie replied, her voice a rough whisper as tears slid down her cheeks.
She entered the small bathroom and locked the door behind her. Flinging the shirt that smelled of the man she’d just given everything to into the corner, she ran water into the tub and sank down into it, allowing the warmth of the water to chase away the cold that had spread through her limbs from Lucky’s verbal attack.
The moment she’d dreamed of for so long had gone from fantasy to nightmare in a second. Though she’d hoped for it, she’d known there was a chance Lucky wouldn’t develop feelings for her. But she never expected him to be angry with her over sharing what she’d considered to be a beautiful, special experience with him.
Tears now streaming down her cheeks, she rested her head along the back of the tub and closed her eyes, but they quickly snapped open as a frightening thought entered her mind.
They hadn’t used any protection.