Every second of the night before reeled in her mind and she was nearly back on the street in front of Liz’s, beneath the stars with him. Until the receptionist called her name, dragging her mind back to the earth toned sanctuary.
“She’s ready for you now, Ms. Laurich.”
The woman escorted her to a cozy room with a cushioned bed in the center that looked like a massage table. This place continued to surprise her. It proved to be nothing like what she’d imagined. Julie had expected a cold, clinical doctor’s office with sickly yellow walls and all kinds of sharp medical tools and zit poppers.
If anything, the next hour and a half looked as if it would be a much-deserved spa day more than anything else.
Once she was under the crisp, clean covers, she let their warmth tuck her in until her lids lolled at half-staff. She’d gotten so comfortable that she nearly missed the light creak of the door opening.
Julie exchanged tentative smiles with the doctor.
“I’ll just need to go over a few things with you before we get started, but first, please fill this out for.” The doctor passed Julie a thin clipboard with a single form on it. “It’s mainly a few medical questions along with the purpose of your visit and you found out about us.”
Once she’d completed the questionnaire, the doctor immediately went to work, preparing and smoothing and kneading at Julie’s “moderately oily” skin.
It was a fair analysis. Very, professional and legit-sounding, Julie determined. Beads of sweat had been known to creep up a couple of times a day on her forehead and nose. No sense in disputing that.
So, she took it at face value. Plus, Julie couldn’t help feeling like she’d time-warped into Seattle Grace—minus all the emergencies. The woman did favor Meredith Grey, if you closed one eye and tilted your head to the side, with her blonde hair and self-deprecating smile.
“Relax. I’m just going to get started,” said softly, sweetly as she engaged Julie in light small talk about the weather and the upcoming Memorial holiday.
The doctor seemed down to earth, like this sort of procedure was no big deal. Like she’d done it a million and one times. She even had a doctorly twinkle of confidence in her eyes, and teeth that competed valiantly with her stark white coat. All of which put Julie’s reservations about the process at ease.
A simple chemical peel, Liz had said. She’d be in and out. People got them all of the time and were better for it on the other side.
As tired as she was, Julie decided she was in good hands. She’d catch up on a few Zs while the good doctor worked, and wake up transformed.
That was the plan, anyway.
At first, her skin tingled with a cooling sensation as the esthetician cleaned away the excess oil from her face wash and moisturizer. Her eyes slitted open at the stretchy snap of latex gloves as Meredith squeezed her slender fingers in one by one. Still, Julie dozed. Rather, daydreamed, her mind filled with images and recurring fantasies of Nico in the shower, then her and Nico in the back of his big black truck.
She’d even gotten carried away with the vision of him picking her up for lunch from her new branch where she was the newly promoted branch manager. The fantasy reeled her in deeper as she relaxed.
“Soothing” and “mild” were the words Meredith had used when she explained the process to Julie. Better yet, when she pacified her. Damn near hypnotized her with claims of relaxation and illusions of unveiling her as a spanking new head-turner.
Dr. Meredith clicked on a small desk fan and let the feathery breeze cool over Julie's face as she ripped open a towelette and applied it to her tingling skin. For a few seconds, the air mixing with the application gave way to a refreshing faint fizzing. Sort of like effervescent bath bombs or peppermint tea. It was soothing.
“This is nice,” Julie muttered.
Then, about five or so minutes in, the light tingling sensation escalated to a piercing million-needle scorcher that was anything other than “mild.” And all of a sudden, she realized Meredith the skin magician would be true to her words. People would look at her alright. Only they’d stare and gawk, bugging their beady eyes out to see the scalded redheaded finch.
“What the hell is happening to me?” Julie said, terror in her voice.
“It’s completely normal to feel a light prickle.” The magician, no the evil sorceress, said. But her attempt to calm Julie was futile.
At the sides of her face, she could hear her flesh sizzle. Her eyes darted up at the ceiling in zigzags, then to Meredith, then back to the ceiling. The sound of her throbbing heart pulsed in her ears. She had to get out of there.
Julie bolted upright and nearly head-butted Meredith. She hastily tossed the sheet to the ground. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough. She bee-lined to the restroom as visions of those naked, hairless dogs kept reeling past her shielded eyes. She ducked and weaved to avoid direct eye contact with other humans.
In the time she’d been in the white dungeon, the lobby had filled with people who must have been sadistic freaks.
With both hands, Julie burst through the door to the restroom and dunked her head beneath the faucet. After what felt like hours dousing handfuls of water over her raw skin, she came up for air.
It wasn’t as bad as she’d imagined. Sure, she was still red around the edges, but her skin hadn’t fallen off and she still looked human; albeit, a mad version with an affinity for way too much blush.
Through the mirror, Julie watched as the door squeaked open and the sweet olive-skinned receptionist who’d offered her the coffee earlier snuck in quietly.
“Is everything all right?” she whispered, her voice tranquil and delicate. “I brought you something.”
Julie turned and eyed her tiny outstretched hand, but she didn’t move.
“It won’t hurt you, I promise. It’s just an aloe vera wipe. Cools the skin and heals the tissue.” She took two tentative steps closer to Julie, eying her with each move as if Julie were a rabid dog who might attack at any time. But it didn’t deter her, as the girl reached out for Julie’s face and waited for consent before touching.
“May I?” she asked.
Julie nodded, still apprehensive about the whole situation, but there was something gentle about the woman’s voice. Something trustworthy.
When the girl’s dainty fingers grazed her cheek, Julie steeled herself in place and studied her for answers.
“Don’t worry. It looks like it was just too strong. You have such beautiful, delicate skin. Give it a half-hour and it’ll be a cheery blush. People will think you’re really excited about something, or that you went for an early run.” She offered a earnest smile that reached up and pulled at the corners of her warm brown eyes.
“Thank you.” Julie’s words were barely audible, but the girl nodded.
Julie didn’t know why, but she felt a wave of emotions wash over her. Mostly appreciation. The girl couldn’t have been more than nineteen or twenty, but the way she’d tended to her, the way she was so careful with her feelings felt motherly, nurturing.
And in that moment, Julie missed her mom.
They used to talk a couple of times a day, but lately she’d been dodging her mom’s calls. Though she meant well with her pep talks, they had a distinctly reverse effect since Patrick left.
The same words that used to give her a good ego boost left her deflated. Every compliment to her or dig against Patrick, or heaven forbid, mention of her cousin Sophia’s upcoming baby shower, only highlighted what was missing in Julie’s life.
No one wanted to be good at being alone. And if Patrick didn’t deserve her, who did? Who was this great guy that Mom kept saying would come along at the right time?
She was ready now.
After a few minutes, Julie worked up the nerve to leave the restroom. She gave the girl a grateful hug, slipped out of the place in as stealthy a fashion as a woman with her worries on display could muster, and dialed her mom the instant the car door closed.
“Is that you JuJu Bean?” Her voice echoed through the car on Bluetooth.
Julie hooked a hard right out of the parking lot. “Yeah, Mom, it’s me. Had your coffee yet?”
“Already on cup number two. Now, what are you doing up this early? You’re all right now, aren’t you, honey?” God she had missed the sound of her mother’s voice.
“I’m fine, just checking in on you.”
Julie pulled into traffic behind a red minivan moving at the speed of snails on hallucinogens. She’d just missed the green light. Damn, she was going to have to haul ass to make it to the gym on time.
“Uh huh.” She paused and Julie braced herself for the proverbial foot-drop. “Any word from…Patrick?” her mom asked, tiptoeing lightly.
Though not light enough. Good going, Mom.
“You know, regret is a funny thing,” her mom said all cryptic, as if Julie was supposed to know what that meant.
It may have been the hour, or the mention of his name, but even saying it in a sweet mom voice wouldn’t make it palatable. Julie was tempted to keep the peace, but this was getting to be too much. Something had to give.
“Seriously, Mom? This is why I haven’t called you. Can’t you just see how I’m doing and not ask about him? It’s hard enough as it is, but when you keep bringing it up, I’m back at square one. And maybe I’ve got more things going on in my life that have nothing to do with him.”
“Lord have mercy, Julie. What’s gotten into you? Is it that time of the month? Everything going all right at work?” her mom deflected. For her, nothing had ever been about Julie, per se. Maternal rights outweighed privacy and, apparently, the ability to feel emotions or desires that weren’t hinged upon a man.
Julie wasn’t her mother. She wanted someone to spend her life with, but she could be without a man.
“Look, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I don’t want anything. And I’m fine, so you can stop worrying about me. I’m fine. I’m always fine.”
“Don’t hang up.” A breathless desperation laced her mother’s words.
“Why, Mom? What else could you possibly say that you haven’t already said?” She hadn’t meant to sound so irritated and detached, but her mom had a way of picking at old wounds.
“I…I just wanted to see if you’d stop by this weekend, that’s all. But I can tell you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. It’s okay, honey. Call me when you can.”
The sadness in her mother’s voice killed her. Julie hated that her mother was alone. She worried about her all the time since her dad passed away. Why couldn’t her mother try again? Why wasn’t she enough? Her mother had given up her dreams for their marriage, but she was still alive. Why not pick up where she left off?
Her mother sounded fragile and desolate, and it pierced Julie’s heart. She’d only wanted to talk for a few minutes and tell her mom how much she missed and loved her. As much as she hated it, Patrick had become her trigger point. A button her mother had become an expert at pushing.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll be there. Just let me know what time and if you want me to bring anything.”
Julie could almost hear the smile in her mother’s voice. “I’ll make that taco soup you love so much with the jalapenos and yellow onions. I was just down at the farmer’s market and picked up a good batch. Ooh and I’ll even do that cucumber-tomato salad for a starter.” Just like that, her mom was jubilant.
As she inched past a fender-bender on the side of the road, rubber-necking nostalgically about Nico as the traffic let up, she found that she felt good, too. “That’s awesome. I can bring the wine. Want anything special, Mom?”
“Surprise me. You pick. You kids always seem to know the good stuff. I think there’s a love movie marathon on, too. It’ll be just like old times. The Laurich girls back together again!”
“Sounds fun,” Julie said. It surprised her more than anything that she actually meant it. “I’m pulling up at the gym. Can’t wait for this weekend.”
“All right, honey. I love you.”
“Love you, too.” Julie ended the call. She had braced herself for the worst, but somehow things had turned around.
As she parked her car, checking the time on the dash, Julie was pleased to be five minutes early for once in her life. She glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror. Not only had her complexion cleared to the rosy blush the receptionist had promised, but she was in a much better mood. This workout was going to be epic.