Blake took two sips from the heatable Campbell’s soup container she’d grabbed off her desk, grimaced at the now tepid tomato soup, and tossed it in the trash before heading back out into the main hallway of the Livingstone family practice. Another attempt at eating down the tubes. She blamed lack of time, but truthfully, she didn’t try to make time. Her angry, growling stomach had become less of a nuisance lately, as if it had learned that protesting resulted in nothing.
Blake crossed to the main hub of office operations where the three medical assistants they employed were headquartered behind a rounded counter. One assistant passed by her with a patient in tow, another was pecking away at a computer with her two index fingers, and the other, Yvonne, her medical assistant, rose from behind the counter, handed Blake her small laptop, and breezed past her toward the exit.
“New patient in two,” she said. “I’m going for lunch. Rubio’s. You want your usual salad?”
“No, thanks. I’ll grab something around here.”
“Soup?” Her young face was crinkled with the sarcasm that had drenched her question, her top lip curling upward just enough for Blake to see her braces.
Blake adored Yvonne, and most of the time, her knowing Blake so well worked out fine. It helped them remain in sync and work effectively together. But at the moment, their close rapport was annoying her. “Maybe.”
Yvonne rolled her eyes. “I’ll bring you a salad. You don’t want it, don’t eat it. Someone else gladly will.”
“You better hope so,” Blake said, walking toward exam room two. “I wouldn’t want you to waste your money.” Yvonne mumbled something Blake couldn’t make out and Blake wished again that everyone would just leave her alone and let her do her job. Her mother was constantly on her case, questioning her health and state of mind. Her father, who was more like Blake, respected her privacy and left her alone to her face. But he voiced his worries to everyone else and it seemed everyone in the practice was focused on her, asking when she last ate, slept, took time to herself. She didn’t understand the problem. She was doing what her family wanted. She was working hard and busting her ass to be able to take over the practice. What was the problem?
She knocked softly on the door to exam room two, wondering if she should even take a lunch at all after she saw this patient. She decided against it, knowing if she did she’d end up thinking about Mexico and the clinic and…Cam. She’d rather work than dwell on what she couldn’t have.
She walked inside the room. “Hello,” she greeted politely. She didn’t glance up completely before turning to close the door behind her. Then she opened the laptop, focused on the awakening screen, and moved toward the small counter where she normally sat. “I’m Dr. Livingstone.” She set the computer down and smiled over at her patient.
Her heart stopped.
She started stepping backward, her hand over her throat. She hit the rolling stool and nearly fell.
“Cam.” She blinked at her rapidly, the sight of her too fantastical to be real. The way she looked was equally as fantastical. She was wearing a dark, designer skirt and matching jacket. The blouse between the two was as crimson as her lipstick. Her black as night hair was styled with a wet look and it set off the glimmer in her matching irises. She was made up and dressed to the nines. From her perfectly arched eyebrows, alluring smoky eye shadow and her seductively mascaraed eyelashes, to her well-tailored suit and her shiny black designer heels. The sheer shock of her presence was enough to bowl Blake over. But seeing her like that, like the absolute drop-dead gorgeous woman she was, left Blake feeling brainless. “What are you—” She searched for words. Stammered. “I don’t—you’re—here.”
“I have an ailment,” Cam said. “And I heard you’re the best doctor around these parts.”
Blake waited for a grin to crack her well-poised face. A playful lift of her eyebrow. But neither showed. She appeared to be just as serious as she was sexy, and Blake wasn’t sure what to make of her presence. So she persevered in the best way she knew how. As a concerned physician.
“If you’re not feeling well, I can get someone else in to see you.”
“I want to see you.”
“I—it wouldn’t be professional for me to see you.”
“I don’t really care.”
Blake fought again for the stability and formality she’d always had in precarious situations. This situation, however, seemed to be far more formidable than any other she’d faced before. Her heart was pounding and adrenaline was racing through her, enough to make her hands tingle like they should be moving to save someone, like she should be moving to save someone. Just like she used to feel when she did her rounds in the ER. And yet Cam was sitting there on the examination table, luscious legs gracefully crossed, not showing the slightest sense of injury or illness.
So why do I feel like I’m about to jump out of my own body?
“I’ll go get another doctor in to see you.” It would be her mother. Her father had already left for the day to tend to his sick brother. Her uncle was gravely ill, and his condition was the reason why she’d had to return home so suddenly. She thought briefly about how she would explain to her mother the reason why she couldn’t treat Cam, who was, ironically, one of her favorite authors.
“I won’t see anyone else.”
“Cam, I can’t—”
“No one else can help me.”
Blake clamped her mouth closed. “Pardon?”
“No one else can help me, so there’s no need to go get anyone else. I won’t see them because it’s pointless. So, it’s either you or…no one.”
No one else can help her?
“I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“I want you to help me.”
Blake forced down a swallow and cleared her throat. “Okay. How is it that I can help you?”
“I told you, I have an ailment. I hurt.” She pulled her burning stare away from Blake as if what she’d just said was somehow too revealing. Blake took a step closer, alarmed.
“You’re in pain?”
“Yes.” She whispered like it was difficult to get the word out and her gaze remained fixed on the wall.
Blake crossed to her, full of concern.
“Where is the pain?”
Cam was quiet. She eased out of her suit jacket and placed her hand on her chest. “Here.” She finally looked at her and her eyes were large and glistening. “I hurt right here.”
Blake started to speak, to question whether or not she meant that literally, but then stopped, realizing it didn’t matter. If Cam felt anything like she did, then she was hurting in every way possible, the cause something that even modern medicine could not fix. That kind of pain was very real and she wanted to help her in any way she could.
Blake struggled with her stethoscope, her instinct as a physician still piloting her. Regardless of what was causing her chest pain, Blake needed to examine her. Cam, however, reached out and stopped her. “No. Not that way. I don’t want you to listen to my heart.” She took her hand and placed it on her chest. “I want you to feel it.”
Blake’s breath shook as she looked into her eyes and felt the subtle thudding of her heart.
“Can you feel it?”
“Yes.”
“Can you feel how fast it’s beating?”
“Yes.”
“It’s because you’re touching me. Because you’re here with me. Can you feel that?”
Blake swallowed. “Yes.”
“Can you feel how it aches when you aren’t touching me? When you aren’t with me? Because it does, Blake. It hurts so badly sometimes I think it’s going to give out on me completely. For a while, I was hoping it would. That way the pain would be gone. But I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want to walk around without a heart, with a hollow chest. I want to feel. Even if it’s awful and agonizing. Because there are moments when it’s worth it. Like now. Like the way I feel when I’m with you. And I don’t ever want to give that up.”
“Cam, I—”
“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t speak. Don’t think. Not right now. Just feel.”
She pressed Blake’s hand firmer against her chest. “Feel me, Blake. Feel my love for you.” She reached out with her other hand and cupped Blake’s jaw. The heat of her palm and the soft caress of her thumb caused Blake’s body to melt and she made a small noise as she exhaled and fell into the lure of Cam’s gaze. Cam pulled her to her and they stared into one another without saying another word. With just the beat of Cam’s heart between them.