Riley was ready for Josh when he got back. The police had called; they had tracked his father down—drunk, of course—and he was being held at the downtown station, charged with reckless endangerment, driving under the influence, the breaking of restraining orders, and whatever the fuck else.
"I'm going to talk to him."
Josh crossed his arms over his chest, fingers rubbing over the red mark on his elbow. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"
"I have to."
"I'm coming."
"No, Josh." Riley shook his head, carefully choosing his words. "It's not that I don't love you for wanting to help, but I need to do this alone, once and for all."
A shadow crossed Josh's face, his gaze lowering to the floor. "I'm so close to leaving you. At least, my head is really fucking close, and the last few days have almost been my breaking point. You walk out this time, and I don't know if I'll be here when you come back."
Riley's brain stutter-stepped inside his skull, and his pulse quickened. "You can't leave me, Josh …"
"I don't want to. All I want is to support the man I love. Why is that so wrong?"
"It's not. I just …" The moisture behind Josh's eyes made Riley pause, the rapid fluttering of his heartbeat battling the composure he was trying so hard to maintain. Josh's intentions and feelings were too damn clear, too harsh on Riley's aching heart. "You have to wait in the lobby. You're not coming in with me."
"If that's what it takes, I'll do it."
Riley was grateful for Josh's quiet in the car. He wanted to blurt everything out, all the stress and the fear and the hurt, but he needed to be strong just a little while longer. Eventually the silence became deafening, and he was relieved when Josh finally spoke.
*~*~*
"Tell me." Josh's gaze wandered from the passenger window to Riley's face. He didn't want to upset him, but …
"I don't even know where to start."
"Your father would be a really good place."
Riley sat straighter in his seat, his gaze never straying from the road. Josh wasn't sure what he had expected, but some kind of reaction, at least. He waited as Riley cleared his throat and sighed. "He's an abusive, alcoholic, egotistical, bigoted asshole."
"Sounds like your boss."
Riley's face remained blank. "He's Adams to the tenth degree."
"Then why the hell do you stay with the asshole? Why you won't just break the contract? Is he familiar, or safe, or—?"
"I know it sounds kind of stupid."
Josh laid a hand on Riley's thigh, fingers lightly scratching over the denim. "I love you. Nothing you say is stupid."
Riley seemed to take strength from Josh's words. His jaw unclenched and the tone of his voice softened a little when he spoke. "He's a lot like my father. He doesn't do or like emotions or weakness. You look weak in front of either of them and it's automatically a black mark against you—if they don't write you off completely. Neither of them have any respect for non-Alphas, and I knew if Adams didn't respect me, he wouldn't give me any high profile cases while he had me locked into this damn contract."
"Why wouldn't he just fire you?"
"He knows I'm brilliant."
They exchanged small smiles and Josh was thankful for the tiny respite in tension. "I tend to agree."
Riley sighed, long and slow, while his thumb tapped out a pattern on the steering wheel. "He keeps me to handle all the boring, mind-numbing crap he takes in just for the money, cases that will never make the news. He couldn't care less about any of it, but it brings him dollars and a good reputation. "
Josh knitted his eyebrows together. "So you're hiding?"
"Only from my father. To keep his crazy from invading my life."
"Why would he even look for you, then?" Riley's hesitation was palpable, and Josh felt like a schmuck. He squeezed Riley's thigh, massaging away the quiver in his leg. "Sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"Money. My P.I.—"
"You have a P.I.?"
"Mason."
Josh wanted to give his head a shake. It was all he could do not to reach over and throttle Riley. "Mason is your … okay, whatever. What does he have to do with this, and, hello … you have money?" Josh knew Mason, liked Mason, but why the fuck did it seem like everyone knew things about Riley that he didn't?
"Mason's been keeping an eye on my father since I first moved here. Apparently he's lost two jobs in the last six months. He's broke and probably needs money for booze and who the hell knows what else. I think he's probably off his meds, too."
"Meds?"
"He has issues with psychosis."
Josh pinched his lips together. He felt as if his brain was playing racquetball against the sides of his skull. What the hell kind of shit had Riley been dealing with all his life? "Jesus Christ, he sounds like a serial killer. How the hell did you keep all this …" Josh paused, took a breath, and tried to calm all the what-the-fucks bashing around in his head. "Why does he think you have money?"
"Because I do."
"What?"
Riley shifted his leg away from Josh's fingers then rubbed the back of his neck. "Can we leave that for the next conversation? Deal with this one first?"
"Okay. Don't want my brain to explode anyhow." Josh took Riley's hand between his, rubbing his thumb over Riley's knuckles. Riley was frustratingly stubborn but had always been very competitive. If he wanted to touch Riley—even for his own selfish needs—then he was going to just damn well do it. "I always wondered why I never met your parents in college or law school."
Riley's gaze remained focused on the road, but at least he hadn't pulled his hand away. "Mom died when I was twelve. Dad wasn't the type for visiting, not that I wanted him to, anyhow."
"He must have really hurt you."
Riley shrugged indifferently, and Josh hated the blank look that returned to his face. "Not just me. I could take care of myself."
"Who—"
"My grandma ... he …" Pain shadowed Riley's face, his jaw tightened and his tongue licked across his lips before he continued. " … threw her down a flight of stairs."
"Oh fuck, babe." Josh shifted his arm, rolling Riley's hand so it was palm up. He entwined their fingers together and gave Riley's hand a firm squeeze. Riley's fingers were stiff, but he didn't pull away. "Was that in our last year of law school?"
"Yeah. Nearly killed her. That's when I got the restraining order and sued his ass."
"Did he go to jail?"
Riley shook his head, his teeth frantically worrying his bottom lip. "She wasn't well for a long time after that, and I wouldn't let her testify against him." His tone was flat and void of emotion, his words as far-off as his gaze. Josh squeezed his fingers again. "Guess I should've, because now ..."
When they stopped at a red light, Josh took the opportunity to stroke his fingers over Riley's cheek. Riley flicked his head to the side, his sad smile forcing a matching one from Josh when their eyes met. "Everyone's fine, sweetheart. Is your grandma alright?"
"One step at a time, Josh. Please."
Josh leaned in and kissed Riley—just a chaste brushing of their lips together to show his acceptance. "I love you. I can wait."
And he could wait because, really, what choice did he have? He could understand Riley's hesitation to keep talking. He was already under intense stress and pressure with the situation waiting for him at the police station. Josh could tell Riley was trying to keep his emotions at bay, and he'd never had so much respect for anyone in his life. Riley was truly amazing in what he'd accomplished, and Josh was so happy to have been a part of his remaking.
To learn so much in so little time after all the worrying and wondering had Josh's mind spinning a little in his head. It was almost mind-blowing how much he hadn't known, and probably still didn't know, about Riley. Josh loved him to death, and if Riley hadn't been driving, he would have been crushed in Josh's arms, fated to possibly never be let go so that no one could ever hurt him again.
He relaxed back into his seat for the rest of the ride, just letting everything sink in, but he never relinquished his tight grip on Riley's hand.
*~*~*
Josh had, of course, been at the police station before with clients, but walking in with Riley while he had such a personal intention was an entirely different experience. He worried about Riley's state of mind, his psyche fragile from all he'd been dealing with. Not that Josh knew what it all was, but it was still taking its toll. Riley's admissions in the car had embedded themselves deep inside Josh, and he hoped his continuous questions hadn't added to Riley's strife. He stood back while Riley spoke to the officer at the desk, his tone even and cool—his professional voice. Josh was proud of him, loved him more than he thought possible.
Abusive. Alcoholic. Egotistical. Bigoted asshole.
The words Riley used to describe his father were ones neither one of them had ever used to describe a client, at least not all together. There had been so much hatred and contempt in his voice, his manner, his body language. More than Josh had ever experienced even after so many years with him.
Josh's protective nature—or was it his possessive one?—wanted to take Riley home and squirrel him away, not let anything or anyone hurt him again. He knew it wasn't logical or practical, but fuck it, he'd do whatever it took to keep him from harm. All his doubt and insecurity had turned to overwhelming love and respect for Riley's fortitude to deal with so much by himself. Josh still didn't like the secrecy or Riley's need to keep it to himself, but at least he understood it a little more.
*~*~*
His father was just down the hall. After all their years apart, all the space between them, and despite Riley's having grown from boy to man, he still felt fear and anxiety when he walked toward the room his father was in. Riley had cashed in a few favors to get to see Robert Callahan, but despite its being on his terms, Riley was still nervous as hell.
He'd told Josh to wait in the lobby, some all-consuming desire to take care of things himself overwhelming his need to have Josh close. He made it halfway down the hall, trailing behind the officer in charge, before he suddenly turned back. Josh's gaze was immediately on him when he reappeared, as if he'd been waiting and hoping Riley would change his mind. Had Riley not already made the decision, that look would have definitely swayed him in that direction. He held out his hand and Josh was by his side in a second, fingers twisting around Riley's shaking ones.
"Thank you," he whispered, gaze shifting to his shoes. "I don't know what I'd do without—"
"You'll never have to know."
"Is there a problem, Mr. Callahan?" They both turned to the voice behind them, the waiting officer's face clearly displaying his impatience. "Is your friend coming too?"
Riley went from grateful to angry in a matter of seconds. "My lover is coming too, yes. Do you have a problem with that?"
"Ri …" Josh's fingers tightened around Riley's, forcing him away from the red hot rage that threatened to swallow him whole and back to the present.
He swiped a hand over his face, drawing in a shaky breath before turning back to the officer. "I'm sorry. We're ready now."
The man nodded, gave Riley and Josh one last once-over, and then turned away. He led them to a room at the end of the hallway, opened the door, and stepped aside so they could slip past him.
Riley's breath caught in his throat at the first glimpse of his father. He struggled to exhale, the hand wrapped around his silently reminding him to breathe. His father hadn't aged well. He was thin; beyond thin, actually, his body a mere shell of the big, booming man Riley remembered. His cheeks were hollow, and more than a few days' stubble covered his jaw and neck in gray, bristly patches. His skin was sallow, almost yellow in the light of the room, the dark circles and wrinkles around his eyes well beyond something a good night's sleep would cure.
"Doesn't … shouldn't he have a lawyer present?" Riley managed to stutter.
The officer shrugged. "He didn't want one, and it's not like you're interrogating him, right? I thought he was your father."
"He um … no, I won't be interrogating him. Just having a chat."
"Well, are you gonna come in or stand there all night lollygagging, boy?"
The gruff voice startled Riley, but Josh's fingers kept him grounded. Riley turned and fixed his gaze on Josh, his lips curling in a small smile of reassurance; then he let Josh's hand slip from his. "Nice to see you, too, Dad."
He was proud of the way his voice didn't waver, his words rolling cleanly off his tongue without a stutter or stammer. Staying in control was the key element in dealing with his father, because if Robert thought he had the upper hand in any way, he'd exploit the fuck out of it.
"Don't imagine this is a social call. Did you finally come to your senses?"
Riley was barely in the room, but it was close enough for his father to cut to the chase. It was probably better that way. "And what exactly are you referring to?"
Robert snorted and leaned back, his thighs touching the table edge as he balanced on the back legs of his chair. "You didn't get any smarter with age, did ya?"
Josh made a huffing noise behind Riley, but he stayed where he was. Riley was thankful he wasn't rushing in to defend his honor, though it did make him feel better to know Josh was there backing him up.
He moved further into the room, resting his bottom against the window ledge in the corner while the officer moved back, shutting the door behind him. Josh stood alone by the door, feet shoulder width apart, arms folded across his chest, and a look of pure disgust on his face. Riley could tell he was geared up to attack should the need arise.
"Gonna introduce me to your fag friend?"
Josh growled and stepped forward. "Listen, asshole. You can't talk to him like that—"
Riley raised his hand. "It's okay, Josh. Dad's right, actually. I should introduce the two of you since you're practically family."
"Over my dead body." Robert sneered and sucked air through his teeth.
"That works for me." Riley felt a sudden surge of confidence race through him. The man who'd seemed so frightening and huge when Riley was a kid, who had made him cower in his room and flee the state to get away from his wrath, was just a normal man—an old, pathetic man. "You know you broke the restraining order, right? That's not a small thing. Not to mention trying to run over one of my friends."
"Fuck the restraining order. I don't give a goddamn about your cowardly bullshit order, Riley. And I obviously didn't do much damage if your friend is standing here."
Riley cocked his head to the side, anger rising, churning up his stomach. "You hit the wrong guy, asshole, and since we know it was you, you'll be going to jail this time around. No fucking restraining order or getting away scot-free."
Robert made that disgusting sucking sound again. "So is the old bird still alive?"
"None of your fucking business. I know what you want, and you've failed. How does that feel, by the way? Having your son tell you you're a goddamn failure? You fucked up. You weren't man enough to take me down with your blackmailing bullshit, and now you're finally going to pay the price you should have all those years ago! You're a bastard, and you'll always be a bastard. I hope they put you away for the rest of your miserable—"
He didn't realize he'd taken his father by the shirt collar, was shaking him and yelling in his face, until Josh grabbed his arm.
"Think it's time to go, babe."
With one last shake and a hard shove to his father's chest, Riley snapped his spine back into shape and pulled Josh close. "You're right. I'm done with this. I'm done with you. See this man here? He's everything you're not, and I love him."
"You disgust me."
Riley smirked, chuckling low in his throat. "Then we at least have that in common, don't we? Take care, Dad. Not that I do."
*~*~*
Riley couldn't get out of the police station fast enough. He dragged Josh by the hand behind him, forcing himself to ignore the questioning, judging looks of the people they passed. It was the first time they'd held hands in public except for the occasional brush of fingers at the beach, or a more-buddy-than-lover arm around the shoulders at the park or on the street. It wasn't that they were shy about being affectionate, but Riley had always been too afraid someone from the office or courthouse would see them. He wasn't ashamed of who he was, and Josh had always been out at work, but the attitude of Adams and his cronies at the law firm and the added bonus of trying to avoid his father were just too much. Riley had never taken that step out of the closet since he'd begun working and it felt pretty damn good.
Josh had always been understanding, especially after he'd met Riley's asshole of a boss in person. But that didn't lessen Riley's guilt over not being able to show Josh he loved him whenever—wherever—they wanted. When they reached the car, Riley turned to face Josh, slipping a hand behind his neck and gazing into his eyes.
"Thank you."
Josh grinned, beautiful brown eyes twinkling with emotion and pride. "You never have to thank me for supporting you. I hope you get that now."
Riley kissed him, tender but lingering, with enough meaning and emotion to take bother their breaths away. "Yeah, I do. Mind if we head somewhere else before we go home? Got a little more patience for me?"
"More? For you? Hmm … I dunno, I might have to think about it." Josh's teasing grin stopped Riley's heart, his lover's fingers sliding into his hair as they tipped their foreheads together. "Do I get you all to myself when we get home?"
"Definitely."
"Then I've got all the patience in the world for you."