CHAPTER NINETEEN

DISCIPLINE

“It’s hard when you feel down and you think, ‘Why is the world doing this to me?’ But you have to pick yourself up again.

That’s what makes you a better athlete.”

—Jessica Ennis-Hill | @j_ennis
Olympic gold medalist, founder of Vitality Move events,
and Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire

Rarely will you find a woman who’s succeeded in creating the life of her dreams who doesn’t also have a strong work ethic. Oola is not for the faint of heart or the undisciplined.

But what is discipline, really? It’s doing what must be done—even if you don’t want to at that moment. It’s battling through the daily grind, putting in the extra hours, using sheer force of will.

But it’s also doing things consistently—like practicing the piano sixty minutes a day. Writing one more chapter of your book every week. Or saving something every month for early retirement.

YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL THE DISCIPLINE YOU NEED

If you think about it, there are already habits you follow, tasks that get done, and stuff you consistently spend time on. Unfortunately, they’re often counterproductive to the goals you want to reach. Take social media, for example. If you’ve ever clicked over to check out a friend’s post on Facebook, then found yourself down a rabbit hole still following links an hour later, that’s sixty minutes you didn’t spend on accomplishing your dream life.

If you spend $5 every day on a coffee on the way to the office, then another $12 eating lunch—that’s $340 a month that you could have invested in for your future.

Sound familiar? You already have habits—maybe just some wrong ones.

So what if you spent the same amount of time, energy, and focus on new disciplines that would get you closer to your goals? You could still have coffee every day (we’re not crazy), but make it at home six days a week and limit that venti, blended caramel macchiato quad-shot (topped with whipped cream) to just once a week. You could still check out Facebook for a few minutes, then spend the remainder of the hour exercising to get fit, or meditating to lower your stress level.

Do that for twenty-one days and look at the new you that emerges.

COURSE-CORRECT WHEN NECESSARY

Of course, there will be challenges to keeping up with your disciplines. The clutter of life just happens. Your job is to be persistent, course-correct if necessary—but always stay focused on your bigger goals.

Other times, you’ll need to instantly tap into the power of discipline to push through an obstacle . . . or simply survive.

• • • •

SEEKING OOLA

NAKED AND AFRAID

by Debbie Harris

It was the morning of my thirtieth birthday, and I had never felt more lonely and lost. As usual, I celebrated my birthday alone. Well, not entirely alone; as a result of rotating work schedules that kept my husband and me apart, the evening of my birthday was spent with my three kids.

As I gazed around the room, looking from the outside in, it appeared as if I had it all—the career, the car, the house, the family, the typical suburban life. Yet I felt diminished. In my pursuit of the ideal life, I had neglected my own passions. And by failing to take care of myself, I began a downward spiral of self-loathing. I developed a negative body image, which constantly challenged my self-worth. I wasn’t happy.

I had spent my twenties climbing the ladder; my work as an elder-care professional was my life and I had let it define my being. However, in my pursuit of professional success, I felt as though I had lost myself. After what seemed like a lifetime’s effort of taking care of others, I felt I was losing my own life in the process. I knew I had to start living a life that actually felt good; a life I could sustain and that I knew to exist in my heart; a life that I was proud to say was mine and where I could be the truest version of “me.”

Reflecting on my life, I reviewed the vibrant dreams and aspirations that laid dormant for over a decade and watched as they returned in full color. The first goal I set was to run a marathon. I knew nothing about marathons—not even the distance. I realized there was nothing stopping me from running but me. Like a rocket waiting to launch, I felt as though my fuse had been lit and I was on a mission: to live and to find my true self.

Over the course of the next year and a half, running became my obsession. Running was the one thing that gave me clarity and allowed me to fully be myself. I started small, running a half-mile without stopping. I became disciplined, increasing my distance rapidly. In a three-month period, I ran six half marathons, four marathons, and one triathlon. The miles I had put under my feet . . . the endless hours of nothing but myself versus my mind . . . the voices telling me to stop—the 1,500 miles changed and energized me, giving me the strength and an appetite for more.

Having once looked in the mirror disgusted by a reflection that seemed to show my own self-doubt, unachieved dreams, self-hate, and negative self-talk, I began to see something new, something strong, something powerful, something that helped me fall in love with me again. My inner voice had shifted from doubt to one that encouraged me, pushed me—a voice that made me be better. I had become my own biggest fan, and nothing felt impossible.

In the midst of my own transformation, I was flipping through the TV channels late at night and came across the show Naked and Afraid. At first glance I was horrified.

A man and woman surviving naked in the wild for twenty-one days? I thought to myself. Ridiculous.

Yet here were complete strangers stranded in a dangerous and desolate location without food or water . . . and they were completely naked. Their only prize was their pride and sense of accomplishment.

I was captivated.

In fact, I said to myself, If this thirty-one-year-old mother of three from Wisconsin can find the discipline to do this, I could go on to do anything!

I applied and was accepted.

My preparation for the show involved more than just learning how to start fires. I began to experience my life more deeply and with more passion than before. I took time to closely observe my children—the magic they held, the captivating blue of their eyes. I paid more attention to my body. I would lay in bed at night just thinking, soaking in the familiar warmth and comfort. Everything I ate I appreciated more, knowing that I would soon be hungry. I savored every bite. I took nothing for granted.

Before I knew it, I was on a plane heading to Guyana in South America. I committed to staying fully present; I didn’t want to miss out on a single moment of this experience. I knew nothing about what was to come but I did know these two things: I was going on the adventure of a lifetime, no matter how insane it sounded to others; and I was determined to accomplish my goal to finish all twenty-one days in the jungle, surviving naked with nothing but one item and a random naked stranger.

During my twenty-one days in the jungles of Guyana, I endured the harshest environmental conditions I have ever experienced. Physical pain, extreme lack of food and clean water, endless nights without sleep, and exposure to every environmental challenge a jungle climate can offer became par for the course.

Through it all, I felt more alive and grateful for my life than ever before. In fact, I created a daily discipline of gratitude—being grateful for available water, that the fires hadn’t gone out, and that the palm leaves that made up our A-frame shelter had kept the rain off of me in the night. I would meditate and practice affirmations. One of my favorite quotes kept echoing in my head: She believed she could, so she did.

The habit of discipline paid off in constantly working to improve our living situation. We regularly hunted for food, finding grubs in the nuts of the kukrit palm. We cooked fish, snake, even small reptiles. Every morning I awoke expecting to feel closer to death, but in reality I never felt more alive.

After twenty-one days, I emerged from the jungle—having discovered a discipline I never knew I had, and experiencing renewed gratitude for life. On the flight home, waiting to hold my babies in my arms again, everything I thought of seemed foreign: a bed, a chair, a fork, a glass to put water in, people, lights, running water, the list goes on. Three weeks of the daily grind doesn’t seem long and typically flies by pretty quickly, but three weeks living primitively in the jungle seemed endless.

As I returned to my former life, I began to create new disciplines around the gratitude that had kept me going in Guyana. I realized that community and giving back, random acts of kindness, volunteering—these are the things that I’ve become more conscious of and grateful for.

You always hear about a “near-death experience”—one that awakens the soul of a person to live their life with greater passion and to pursue their dreams. My twenty-one days in Guyana was a “near-life experience,” challenging me to live life to the fullest and giving me an awareness about myself and about possibility that I never had before.

• • • •

Hopefully, you don’t have to find yourself naked in a South American jungle with a complete stranger like Debbie did in order to discover the discipline within you. The discipline you need to change your life is already there.

You are more disciplined than you realize. For instance, if you don’t think you have it in you to pick up a second (or third) job to get out of your current financial mess, you do. Let’s use an extreme example to prove the point. What if the only way to save your child from a life-threatening disease was to earn the money to pay for treatment? Would you find the discipline within you to make that happen? You would.

Discipline in the short term is one thing, but there will be moments in your life when you’ll want to develop enduring discipline to achieve a long-term goal.

LIVING OOLA

FREEDOM

by Lindsey Elmore

When I left Alabama for pharmacy school in San Francisco, it was the farthest I had ever lived from home. I was terrified and I cried the whole flight. I was a complete wreck when I landed and a friend of my mom’s picked me up at the airport. She had to pull over twice between Oakland and Napa to let me throw up on the side of the road. I had never been so scared to do anything. For two more days, I cried. I listened to David Bowie songs on endless repeat and was sure my life was over. Finally, I stopped and stared at the city skyline and said, This is my dream, and I can’t believe it’s here. I will do this.

I managed to go to the first day of orientation and reality hit me. I was about to take out loans, big loans, to pay for this education at the number one pharmacy school in the U.S. Earlier that summer, I’d been on the phone with the loan company. When I told the loan officer I needed $56,000, she replied, $15,000?

“No, $56,000,” I said. And that was just for the first year’s tuition and living expenses. Every year after that, I’d need to borrow more.

I was a blessed kid. My grandmother and grandfather lost every penny to their name in the 1960s when they opened a service station, but through discipline and hard work, they saved every bit of money they got from then on. They taught me these same lessons, but I also benefited from their resolve: I never worried about clothes or food or shelter as a child. In undergraduate school, I had a full academic scholarship, and my grandmother paid for rent, books, and more. I had it made; all I had to do was put gas in my car and food on the table. Suffice to say that I didn’t understand or truly appreciate the value of money.

As I sat in orientation, I heard the dreaded news, “If you take the loans and don’t finish the degree, you are still responsible to pay back all of the money you borrow.” I was in the audience making lists of pharmacy schools closer to home, trying to see if they took transfer credits; I honestly did not know if I would finish the journey to a doctorate in pharmacy in San Francisco.

Then came the moment. I knew as soon as I cashed that first student loan check that my fate was sealed. I stood there with the check in my hand. Oh, crap, I thought. This is real. I just accepted $56,000 from the almighty U.S. Government and State of California, and they expect to be paid back.

I cashed the check. I was “all in” and failure was not an option.

Four years later, I graduated at the top of my class, with two years as class president under my belt, a couple of national honors, a diploma—and a going-away prize of $157,000 in debt.

For two years, I effectively ignored it, hoping somehow it would magically go away. I paid some minimum payments here and there, but during my time in residency (which is like purgatory after pharmacy school), I chose forbearance on most payments. This means I basically told the loan lenders that I didn’t have the funds to pay the loans and would get back to them later. They said sure, just know that you are still accruing interest. I ignored the interest. The number was so big already that I couldn’t fully grasp it, so what’s a little extra interest on the top?

When I finally finished residency, I got my first real job and was making more money than I ever had before. People told me, “This is your big chance to pay off the loans. You’ve never had any money. Continue to pretend that you don’t. Pretend you’re still living on a residency salary, and put everything else toward loans and retirement savings.”

I did that. I wrestled my way down to $120,000, and the grave reality of how interest compounds and builds and makes debts never disappear sunk in. I aggressively pursued the debts with the highest interest rates and still didn’t seem to be making any progress.

Then I got even more serious. I tightened up my budget, forgot about retirement, and committed 10 percent of my income toward extra monthly payments for loans.

My family noticed my increasing discipline toward paying off my loans (which thrilled them because I was never disciplined with money). Then my grandmother—my dear, wonderful, giving-beyond-
every-form-of-giving grandmother—came to me with a deal: she said she had an inheritance she’d been saving for me, but that I could have it now if I put all the funds toward repaying my student loans. This generous gift got me down to almost exactly what I had taken out in my first year of pharmacy school—about $56,000.

It was then I started running. I got a bit (okay, a lot) obsessive-compulsive about checking my loan app, and each loan I paid off was a personal victory. Every extra dollar I had went to loans.

In August 2014, our company brought in the OolaGuys for an event. They talked about goalsetting, personal accountability, and the importance of being awesome in 7 key areas of life. On December 17, 2014, at that event, I stood on stage and vowed to pay off the final $32,000 in student loans I had remaining by December 31, 2015. At this point, I had a strategy, a method, and the drive to be rid of this monkey on my back forever. I didn’t know if I could—I only knew that I had to.

And I did. I called my grandmother with the news and we cried. She had been worried for years I would never pay off my loans, and there were times that I had the same misgivings. After graduating with $157,000 in debt, I ultimately paid $220,000 for my education to be a pharmacist. It took so much discipline to not drive through that coffee line, to not go out to eat at that new restaurant, to not stop at the mall, and to not take that trip with my friends. But, there is no better feeling than freeing myself from debt, and I have never carried debt since.

I admit I had help along the way: my grandmother and the fact that my degree gives me good income. Even so, paying off debt still took discipline. It was a choice between another pair of shoes, one extra glass of wine at dinner, a new gadget, or more money paid toward my debt.

I can’t tell you how much I have grown through this: from the scared girl who landed in San Francisco to the powerful, debt-free woman I am today. I not only received my doctorate in pharmacy, I got a bonus “adulting” degree in finance and discipline. Being free from debt is unlike any other freedom. With financial stress behind me, I can focus on the horizon and the bigger dreams that are in front of me.

• • • •

Could you, too, be disciplined enough to achieve the OolaLife of your dreams? Patience and persistence are the keys. But you’ve gotta take that first step. Here are some tips to get you going.

SIMPLY START. Life happens. We get that. But some women find that after the clutter of life is over for the day, they’ve done nothing to move their life closer to their dreams or goals. Don’t let this be you. Every day create a task list of three or more things that you will do to move closer to one or more of your goals.

If you’ve wanted to start an investment account and begin saving for your future, spend thirty minutes reading online reviews of the top five companies—then choose one of them and open an account at their website. Want to travel internationally? Spend twenty minutes applying for a passport online, then call three local places that can take your passport photo. And if one of your goals is to eat healthier, spend ten minutes going through your cabinets and refrigerator, tossing all the junk food that’s just too tempting.

One, two, three. Done. In just sixty minutes on a random weekday—when life is busy and chaotic and overwhelming—you’ve just moved forward on three of your goals. Simply start, and see how much you can accomplish.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF FOR TWENTY-ONE DAYS. Experts say it takes twenty-one days to establish any new habit. By practicing a desirable new behavior every day for three weeks, your brain actually becomes “reprogrammed” to automatically take those steps that will get you to your goal.

Well, imagine if you created one new habit every ninety days—like going to the gym three times a week, or saving 12 percent of your weekly paycheck, or writing in your gratitude journal. You would begin to see your goals achieved easier and faster than you thought possible.

To help you create your first new habit, check out the free “Oola 21-Day Challenge for Women” at our website: www.OolaLife.com/women. You’ll get daily reminders, tips, and inspiration to keep you on track for a life with less stress and more balance.

BE PERSISTENT. Some goals are so big, they won’t be completed tomorrow. Be patient. But also be disciplined enough to continue doing those things that will get you to your goal.

A balanced life doesn’t occur overnight. It occurs over time. It’s composed of seasons when you’ll have to be out of balance. Sometimes your life will have to get a little sideways. Persist through these seasons. Course-correct, if necessary—but be patient and proactive if you want to achieve the balanced OolaLife of your dreams.