“As hard as it is and as tired as I am, I force myself to get dinner at least once a week with my girlfriends, or have a sleepover. Otherwise, my life is just work.”
—Jennifer Lawrence
Actress
Most women don’t have enough fun in their lives. They’re busy in their careers. They’re busy with their kids. They’re busy running a household. And they can easily think of twenty-seven better ways to spend the money it would cost for a weekend getaway or that dream vacation to Paris.
Perhaps this describes you.
But what you may not know about is the positive physiological effect that fun has on your body, mind, and spirit. Unwinding with friends, laughing through a funny movie, and taking time off for leisure activities or an international trip literally changes your physical and mental state for the better.
First and foremost, it reduces cortisol, the stress hormone—which makes it easier to cope with nerve-wracking situations. But it also boosts serotonin, the brain chemical that regulates mood, memory, and sleep. This reduction in your stress level actually reduces mental strain and the physical drain on your body, too, leaving you more energetic and clear-headed, and with better concentration and focus. Even the American Psychological Association touts the benefits of having fun.
Most important, however, will be the impact on your key relationships. Sharing good times with others helps you form bonds and social connections—one of the fundamental needs of humans.
With all these benefits, the crazy thing is how many women we meet who believe—now that they’re adults—they somehow shouldn’t have fun. Reading a book, soaking in the tub, enjoying a glass of red wine, getting a pedicure—these are easy, everyday fun things you can do to unplug, unwind, and chill out.
WHAT KIND OF FUN IS ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?
If you’re one of those adult women who has told herself, Someday I’ll have fun . . . like when I’m retired and sixty-five, be aware that you can still be super-productive and fun-loving—in smaller ways, on a limited budget, and with (or without) your kids in tow.
Guys have mastered this art of disconnecting and having fun. There’s Monday Night Football, Saturdays at the golf course, and Tuesday’s softball league. While they’re having fun, they’re not taking care of other responsibilities . . . are we right? Waiting until you have the spare time, the kids are grown, and there’s enough money in the checking account means you’ll probably have forgotten what fun even looks like.
So, a major goal for you on your journey to Oola should be to decide what you’ll do for fun—on a weekly basis, over occasional weekends, during your annual vacation, and especially for those once-in-a-lifetime “before you kick the bucket” experiences.
The OolaGuru routinely travels around the world knocking line items off his bucket list—from riding a camel in Dubai, to swimming with a baby elephant in Thailand (both in the same week!), to surfing in Panama or simply driving the OolaBus with the windows down and his Oola hat on backwards meeting people and collecting dreams. He’s been to over fifty countries and he’s run marathons on four continents. But the interesting thing is that he had to learn from the OolaSeeker how to have simple fun every day. He recently put a ping-pong table in his backyard and has committed to evening walks with his wife.
The OolaSeeker, on the other hand, has always been the master of finding free fun every day. You’ll see him hiking with his kids in the summer, snowshoeing in the mountains in the winter, and pretty much road-tripping whenever he has a chance. What he learned from the OolaGuru is to start knocking off those big “bucket list” items. He recently completed a solo trip through Spain—working at a winery outside Madrid and running with the bulls in Pamplona. He took a couple of his daughters scootering through Croatia, drifting in a Jeep on the beaches of Santorini, and sipping coffees in Turkey.
The key is to plan, schedule, commit, and figure out how to fund these major life experiences you’ve always dreamed of. Get out the calendar and pencil something in over the next twelve to eighteen months. Spend an afternoon online learning more about your options and discovering the excitement that’s in store for you. Research ways to do it cheaper. Focus on getting what you want, and you’ll be surprised at the little opportunities that come along to insure you not only get to pursue that activity—but you get to do it in a way that’s much more fun than you originally planned.
What’s on your bucket list? And how can you enjoy simple fun every day?
• • • •
SEEKING OOLA
CHASING IT
by Jen Davis
When I was just a little girl, running wasn’t exercise—running was FUN! I would run through fields of flowers and weeds, chase the boys, play tag, run around the playground—and I would never get tired. No one had to ask me to do it and I wasn’t counting calories burned or distance traveled. It didn’t require an app or special running gear. I did it simply because it was fun!
Something happened in adulthood. Exercise became work, an obligation; one of a number of things on my overflowing to-do list that rarely happened. And when it did, it wasn’t like I remembered. All that ran through my head was, I’m not fast enough. My legs aren’t long enough. This sucks. Am I going to damage my knees? I don’t have a running coach. I’m out of breath. How come I have to stop and take a break. HILLS!
I would see my neighbors, impeccably outfitted in the latest workout fashion. Whether they were running alone or pushing a stroller, they seemed to run effortlessly, as graceful as gazelles with hardly a hair out of place. I would see others on social media posting times, accomplishments, and pictures of their medals. I was looking for encouragement; however, looking around just caused me to compare, feel less than, and further away from the fun I once associated with running. The negative self-talk danced around in my head every time I strapped on my shoes and reluctantly went out the door.
It is said that comparison is the thief of joy; in my case that was so very true! It wasn’t until I stopped competing and comparing myself to everyone else, and just started running my own race, that I rediscovered the absolute pure joy of running like I had remembered when I was that little girl.
It was then that I realized that I—yes, me—am a real runner just like the rest of them! And what makes me a real runner is that I get out and run. I just started to be me: real, flaws and all.
Don’t be like the rest of them, darling, swam in my head. Just be you!
I took the competition out of it all. I stopped posting my mile times and distances. I simply grabbed some comfy shoes, bright socks, and random funky running gear and hit any trail without a plan. No destination in mind, just the curiosity of what’s over that hill, around that tree, or can I climb that rock to get to the other side? Jumping in puddles, getting dirty, leaping over streams, flying down a mountainside, tripping over my own feet, creating my own trails, jumping off things for an epic adventure are all part of my daily runs.
I have tapped into my childlike sense of wonder. I stopped taking myself, and life, so seriously. I find fun in every day and in every mile. I realize I have one life to live, and I am only here for a short time, I might as well make it FUN! The zest for life is strong within me . . . my daily runs now feel as if I am on one huge, epic, never-ending adventure and all I ever want to do is explore and learn. It’s no longer, I have to run, but I get to run!
FUN is out there. I found mine on a quiet trail with my feet moving underneath me. For others, it might be something else. Whatever it is, that thing that puts a smile on your face and makes you lose track of time—chase that.
• • • •
None of us truly knows how many days we have left on this amazing planet, so take time to enjoy life every day . . . and quit waiting for “someday.” Yes, that even means on the crazy-busy, kids-screaming, rush-hour-traffic kinds of days—especially those days! Make time for fun. The only thing better than having little doses of fun every day is turning fun into your full-time gig.
LIVING OOLA
I BOUGHT A GOAT
by Jennifer Webster
I was speeding down I-44 in what seemed to be the getaway car. I was so nervous I almost felt as if I had stolen her, even though I bought her fair and square. I had feelings of excitement mixed with disbelief: “What the hell did I just do? Am I losing my mind?”
If my name was Thelma, I would’ve named her Louise.
I looked in the rearview mirror to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t. A goat was in the back seat. Floppy ears and with what seemed to be a puzzled look on her face. I think she was having a similar experience: “Why the hell did I get in this car with a city slicker?” They don’t make car seats for goats. Her chance of survivability was fifty-fifty, so I understood her concern.
My husband and I didn’t grow up on a farm. I’ve actually never been on a farm. In fact, I knew nothing about farming or raising goats. But this goat in the back of my Jeep Grand Cherokee was where our journey of becoming organic farmers began.
I have been a workaholic since birth. I literally had to schedule fun on a color-coded, heavily labeled, perfectly organized calendar. I got my first job at sixteen. I was a cashier at Walmart, and I got my first paycheck and some praise to go with it, then I was off and running. I was the girl who missed out on the parties and fun so that I could cover the weekend shifts. The more I was praised the more I worked. Soon, I was juggling forty hours a week and cruising through high school by taking college credit classes. I was driven, smart, and a 100 percent workaholic by the time I graduated. If my schedule wasn’t crammed and people weren’t noticing, I wasn’t happy. I thought fun was for lazy people—and I wasn’t lazy.
Before I knew it, I was married, dragging babies all over, and trying to balance it all. I was the “career woman” that society talks about. The word that best defined me at this point in my life was the word “too.” I had too much on my plate, with too much guilt, and I was too exhausted to even think straight. My life was a daily cycle of trying to do everything for everyone and not finding satisfaction in anything. I felt empty and I felt lost. I felt depressed for the first time in my life.
What does a crazy-busy career woman do when she is about to lose her mind? She buys a goat.
It all started with a documentary I had watched with my husband a couple months earlier. This film opened my eyes to what is happening to food production and got me thinking about the quality of what we put in our kids’ mouths. My husband and I joked about raising our own food for our family. What started as a joke turned into a passion for healthier living for my family. Some women get hooked on Keeping Up with the Kardashians or who’s getting the rose. For me, I was hooked on YouTube videos and blogs on farming and raising my own food. My family is the most important thing to me. I realized that I was missing out on the best parts of their lives and feeding them from whatever fast-food joint we passed on the way home from work. I was done.
And I bought a goat for my husband for Christmas.
Today, 7 years later, we are the proud owners of 10 dairy cows, 4 pigs, 100 chickens, 16 geese, 5 ducks, 12 dairy goats, and 26 rabbits . . . wait, make that 32 . . . whoops, now it’s 48 . . . that thing they say about rabbits is real. You get the point. Remember the movie We Bought a Zoo? Well, I bought a goat and that turned into full-time farming and what feels like a zoo. Eventually, my husband quit his job, and this is now what we do—and we couldn’t be happier.
With gratitude, I reflect upon the last seven years. I feel free of my workaholic ways. My husband and I are closer than ever as we work together toward a common dream. The family has bonded over hard work, fresh air, and dirty hands. We now realize that fun isn’t always fancy vacations and theme parks. Fun can be found right in our own backyard . . . in an early sunrise on the porch, from a fresh cup of coffee on a cool fall morning, in a soft chair after a hard day of work . . . or rolling down I-44 with a goat in the back seat, chasing your dreams.
• • • •
Clearly, Jennifer has mastered the art of fun (and farming). But how many women never get to experience a life-changing episode like that because they simply don’t see the value in fun? Even Type-A personalities need to unplug and take time off. Here are some tips for having Oola-quality fun.
DISCOVER WHAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR FUN. Don’t think, Someday I’ll have fun. Make a list today of what you like to do . . . a list of what you would do if you had all the time and money in the world and no responsibilities of any kind.
If you’re out of practice, make the discovery process part of your fun. Grab some lifestyle magazines that look interesting, jump on Pinterest, and spend an afternoon breezing through photos. Start adding ideas and pictures to your “bucket list” journal—or keep a running list on your smartphone to remind you to plan fun new activities.
Some people love to share with others as part of having fun. We challenge you to merge what you love to do in a way that positively impacts others. If you love quilting, why not create some quilts and donate them to a local raffle? If you’re a golfer, why not join Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and take a kid golfing? There are countless ways to share your fun with others and make the world a better place, too—even if it’s only one interaction at a time. Of course, if it feels like work or just another deadline you have to squeeze into your schedule, don’t do it. Oola means balance. Don’t let fun time become just another item on your to-do list and be a source of stress.
DON’T USE FUN TO AVOID TASKS YOU HAVE TO DO. One cautionary note about having fun is to always be sure it’s part of a balanced life where other responsibilities are being handled in due course. Don’t use shopping, workouts, craft time, and other fun stuff to avoid important or unpleasant tasks you have to do.
Confronting your dad, tackling that project at work, sitting down with a debt counselor—you can’t put these challenges behind you if you’re binge-watching season five of NCIS or hanging out at the mall.
You’re better than that. Your future is waiting for you to clean up, confront, and complete before you move on.
DETACH COMPLETELY. When you do have authentic fun, be sure to detach completely. Don’t feel guilty thinking, There are forty-nine other things I should be doing right now. With others pulling at your time, remember, you deserve this time. You’ve earned it. It’s good for you. And ironically, it’s good for those around you, too. Enjoy it.