For some women, the feeling of being penetrated by two penises at once can bring them to an almost instantaneous orgasm. But you don’t have to have a threesome to make this happen. You and your partner alone can stimulate both your vagina and your anus. For instance, while you’re having vaginal sex, he can insert a finger or toy into your anus—or vice versa—to give you that “full” sensation.
If you do want to try it in a threesome, this kind of sex can lead to an incredible orgasm for all parties. For you, it will provide the feeling of being “full” that can be arousing and orgasm-inducing on its own, and for the men, it allows them to both be stimulated not only by the vaginal or anal sex alone, but also by feeling the thrusting of the other man through the thin membrane that separates the vagina and the rectum. Just remember, if the guys are going to switch positions, have them put on new condoms.
Whether or not you want to try anal sex, adding another partner may be a way to add a spark to your sex life. For some, polyamory is a way of life. Unlike an affair, in the healthiest versions of these relationships, those involved enjoy having at least one steady partner and possibly one rotating sexual partner at a time with everyone’s full knowledge and consent. But in the tips that follow, you’ll find out how you can engage in polyamory while maintaining a primarily monogamous relationship.
Threesomes occur when three people get together for sexual play. The combination may involve two women and one man, two men and one woman, or three men or three women. The choice is up to you, your partner, and your combined sexual preferences. Sometimes the desire for a threesome arises out of one partner’s desire to experiment with the opposite sex, or if a partner is bisexual, to have his or her sexual needs met by someone of the same sex.
To have a successful threesome, it’s important to pay attention to the needs of your partner and set some ground rules you’ve discussed before beginning. Will there be penetration? What kind is okay? Is kissing okay between the new person and both partners? After sex, should the third party go home or should they sleep over? Should the threesome happen inside the home or at a neutral location like a hotel? Addressing these questions before finding or inviting a third party to join in will help prevent uncomfortable situations or hurt feelings afterwards. After your threesome, talk about how you feel about the experience. And be honest. You may find that it’s something that you want to do more regularly or you may discover that it’s caused issues that need to be resolved to rise to the surface.
Threesomes can be a fun way to spice up your sex life, but they can also be a quick way to ruin your relationship if both parties are not secure and fully on board. Be honest with your partner if you don’t want to do it, and encourage your partner to be honest about his feelings, too. Never agree to something just to make your partner happy, and make sure your partner does the same.
One unique type of threesome involves three people in a room, but it typically involves you getting hot and heavy with a third party instead of with your partner. In cuckolding, a man watches his wife or girlfriend be penetrated or pleasured by another man, often someone who is bigger or more sexually capable than he is, while he watches and masturbates. The man who is in the relationship is known as the cuckold, the woman as the hot wife, and the third party as the bull. And while it may seem counterintuitive, the introduction of this new lover may draw the couple closer together, as the new person can cause the brain to release the neurochemicals of new love or attraction.
If you’ve tried a couple threesomes or foursomes and you and your partner find they do wonders for your sex life, you may want to take things to the next level by becoming a swinger and finding a couple (or couples) that you can swap partners with for the night. Though this type of swinging can happen spontaneously, if you’re interested in checking out the lifestyle, do a little Internet research and start messaging those who seem in the know on polyamory-focused message boards. Strike up a friendship with one of those people and they may help you be able to find a swingers club in your area where you’ll be able to meet other couples who are open to the experience. While no penetration usually occurs at these Eyes Wide Shut-esque parties, pretty much anything else goes. It’s typically only at the on-premises, invite-only, prescreened parties where penetration happens, and where no alcohol is permitted.
Can’t find a party? Throw one of your own. Though sex parties and orgies—sexual activity that occurs between more than three people—are often organized by local swinging clubs, you can encourage one to happen naturally if there’s a lot of sexual tension in the air. It can start innocently with a game of Kings, Truth or Dare, or even Spin the Bottle, and then progress into something much more sexual.
Or, if you have friends who you know are open to the idea of such a thing, throw a “key party.” At these parties, all of the first guests who arrive put on a necklace with a lock on it, and then each new guest who comes to the party removes a key out of a bowl or hat. Each key corresponds to one of the locks and that’s the person that they’ll be partnered with, at least at the beginning of the night. Once passions start heating up, you never know what sort of swapping might happen.