CASE EXAMPLES: ADMISSIONS OFFICERS CRITIQUE WINNING ESSAYS
To show you how some applicants have answered the essay questions, we asked the b-schools for samples of “winning” essays. To show you what worked about them, we also asked the admissions officers to provide a Critique.
As you read through the essays, keep in mind that each was but one of several submitted by an applicant for admission. Moreover, they were part of a package that included other important components. One essay alone did not “win” admission.
One other reminder: The purpose of including essays in this book is to give you a nudge in the right direction, not to provide you with a script or template for your own work. It would be a mistake to use them this way.
Obviously, this collection is by no means all-encompassing. There are thousands of winning essays out there; we just couldn’t include them all.
Editor’s Note: Personal details, such as names, companies, and institutions, have been removed from these essays to protect the identities of the applicants. The essays have not been otherwise edited since they were submitted by the applicants.
Question: a) What are your specific career goals immediately following graduation? b) What skills, competencies, and experiences do you have right now that will help you attain those goals?
Following graduation, I plan to become involved in projects that link business principals and models with innovative social programs, particularly those that support positive youth development. Most of my work life has focused on adolescents. I have worked for various youth service organizations, provided clinical services to youth and their families, and managed a program for young teens. Ultimately, I want to start a new organization that focuses on youth entrepreneurship, meaning that youth are supported in their efforts to innovate, organize and implement their plans. Learning about well-developed concepts in for-profit industries is essential for achieving my goals. The challenge will be to create ways to apply those principles in the non-profit sector.
As a social worker, the difficulties my clients face frustrate me less than the funding system within which services operate. Inefficient bureaucracy, weakly established means for linking research with service development, and turnover in funding limit my ability to expand and/or improve services. For example, the money that presently supports the program I manage was awarded to foster the development of “models” that prevent youth involvement in substance abuse and other risk behaviors. After two years of delivering services and refining the program, we have created a workable model. However, now that we have established ourselves and are capable of expansion, our contract is set to expire. In the search for new funds, there are two options: apply for one large grant or several small ones. Either option is likely to require that some parts of the current model be dropped or altered to meet the requirements of the new funders. This turnover in funding has a domino effect—management and front-line staff leave, which in turn disrupts operations. The social service organizations that house various programs are similarly effected, as staff positions come and go. The resultant organizational instability makes it nearly impossible to seek or develop alternative sources of capital, and the cycle repeats itself.
A related problem is the difficulty applying performance measures to non-profit entities. In nonprofits, results cannot be linked solely to revenue and expenses. Current tools for evaluating social service programs focus on concepts developed by social scientists. While those tools are essential for assessing clients’ needs and developing programs, they are not adequate for measuring the performance of an organization over time. By combining new knowledge about various business concepts with my background in social science, I will be able to develop alternative ways to address this problem.
My MSW degree provided excellent clinical training and allowed me to gain skills in program development, evaluation, grant-writing and staff supervision. Over the last three years, I have tested those skills as a program manager. I have felt prepared to handle most youth and family concerns, staff issues and general oversight of daily activities, but I need further training in operations, marketing, application of technology, and strategy. I am obtaining an MBA to fill gaps in my current skill set, learn about venture start-up and expand my worldview. Babson’s focus on entrepreneurship throughout the curriculum, and the opportunity for specialized training, will help me attain my goals.
This essay explained the clear direction that the student intends to take upon graduation. The student did a good job of connecting her prior work experience and education to future career goals. This is especially important when candidates are making a career change or are seeking employment in an environment or industry that is outside the norm for MBA recruiting. The student identified areas where MBA knowledge and skills would be an asset, recognized her lack of knowledge in certain areas, and succeeded in demonstrating to the admissions committee why the MBA—specifically the Babson MBA—was the appropriate next step in her career progression.
Question: a) What are your specific career goals immediately following graduation? b) What skills, competencies, and experiences do you have right now that will help you attain those goals?
For the last decade, I have helped guide the career of [Band A] from a college band into a professionally touring and recording entity with a national impact. This evolution has endured many growing pains, but the band has persevered because of my vision, passion, and work ethic. My vision of growth for the organization and for myself helped us discover and create opportunities that put us in a position to succeed. In addition, my vision of survival helped us withstand an avalanche of challenges that would have ended the careers of most other groups. Equally rewarding has been the complete nature of my involvement from the songwriting and recording to the supervision of manufacturing, distribution, promotion, and ultimately live performance itself, when the songs and the fans come together. I have always run the band like a business, adopting long-term growth strategies and learning from the management decisions that have contributed to the successes and failures of other bands that came before us. This application of professional intensity to what would otherwise be a hobby, and transforming it into something enduring and impacting, has been extremely rewarding.
Within a year of forming, [Band A] entered a radio contest and won first place out of 200 groups throughout New England, and this taste of success inspired a vision of further accomplishments. Everything started with education and elbow grease. I buried myself in every book I could find on artist management and band development. I opened a bank account and kept detailed financial records. I read Billboard and Rolling Stone, and spent time with most bands that passed through town in order to learn from their successes and failure. I developed a business plan that incorporated these lessons as well as some ideas of my own. The plan emphasized long-term and short-term growth strategies applied to recording, touring, and management. I even phoned hundreds of college venues, metro rock clubs, and studios to put the plan into action. Our collective musical ability combined with my appreciation for problem solving, my drive to succeed, and my desire to identify and face challenges has given the band a distinctive edge.
Since college, we have survived ten line-up changes, traveled more than 500,000 miles performing more than 1,200 concerts in all 48 continental states, earned a recording contract with [Record Company A], recorded three albums with some of the top producers and mix engineers in this country, and our music is featured regularly in films and on national television. [Band A] has earned its success on the strength of two underlying principles: the development of a good product, and the importance of being aware and thoroughly involved. I strive to be involved with every aspect of operations from the studio to the stage, and from the radio to the record store. A holistic understanding of how all facets of the industry come together has been an essential part of our growth and development.
Working and performing with [Band A] has been uniquely rewarding. It has allowed me to pursue an ambitious dream that blends a diversity of gratifying elements including artistic expression, self-employment, and the development and management of a business. Beyond rehearsal and performance, my responsibilities have included book keeping, cash flow management, payroll, tax preparation, maintaining the mailing list, establishing and maintaining a product distribution network, booking tours, negotiating performance contracts, coordinating recording projects, securing product endorsements, coordinating charitable concert events, conducting interviews, and making other public appearances. I feel I have an aptitude and appreciation for management, and if recognizing management ability is the first step in assembling a career in management, the next step is discovering an appropriate application of that potential. To this end, I have three specific interests that I would like to explore in graduate school.
I want to consider applying my abilities to the non-profit sector as my grandfather did with [Nonprofit Organization A], or my mother continues to do with [Nonprofit Organization B]. My personal and professional interests could be combined in museum management or involvement with an arts or social service foundation. Contributing to society and enhancing our culture by supporting the arts, in addition to helping an organization run more productively and efficiently, are important concerns of mine.
I also want to explore entrepreneurial opportunities. One of the most satisfying aspects of my tenure with [Band A] has been overseeing the evolution of the group from a college band into an enduring and financially viable entity. This was accomplished through hard work, a vision of growth and survival, and an appreciation for the ways in which the different elements of an industry combine. I would love the opportunity to foster this kind of development in another setting.
Finally, although my career in music has precluded further exploration of the international dimension of my personal and academic development, my appreciation of foreign cultures is great. I lived in France during my junior year of High School, backpacked through Europe for two months before college, and majored in International Relations at Brown. Adaptation, exploration, and communication in a foreign culture are one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced, and I look forward to doing it again. Babson would be an ideal environment for me to discover professional opportunities that are aligned with my interests.
I have enjoyed my career as a professional musician and artist manager, but I am ready for a change that would permit a more personally and financially stable lifestyle. The experience of completing Babson’s MBA program would help me hone my general skills and interests into a specific field. It would enhance to my unique business background by proving to my future employers and peers that I am an experienced and well-trained leader and decision maker.
This essay demonstrated the need for business skill in an unconventional environment in a way that was believable, convincing, and persuasive. This student showed the admissions committee that although he had not worked in a large or even midsize company, his experiences could be linked to many business situations. The student demonstrated leadership abilities, teamwork experiences, and the recognized need to run his band like a business. The student’s self-awareness of both skills and limitations gave the admissions committee a clear understanding of the candidate and what he would bring to the community: artistic creativity, outside-the-box thinking, flexibility, leadership skills, an understanding of running a business, and the experience of traveling throughout the country.
Question: a) What are your specific career goals immediately following graduation? b) What skills, competencies, and experiences do you have right now that will help you attain those goals?
In order to achieve my career goals, I have outlined my strategy for success by mapping my career goals at specific time intervals over the next fifteen years. In addition, my professional and personal experiences coupled with a Babson MBA will ensure my future professional success.
In three years, my career goals are to be a Babson MBA graduate, to attain a post-graduate entry-level position as an Associate in the credit derivatives group at [Bank A], and to begin to give back to my community by serving it. The completion of the Babson MBA program is the most critical component for achieving my career goals. As a newly graduated Babson MBA student, I will begin my new career structuring transactions in the credit derivatives group at [Bank A], as it is the number one ranked credit derivatives dealer in the world. My wife will continue to work for a few more years so that her income can allow me to accept a post-graduate entry-level salary. I know that the best place to start a new career is at a large bank with top-notch expertise in a specific area (credit derivatives). This will not only provide a challenging work environment due to high customer flow, but also will allow me to learn a new business from the best credit derivatives professionals in the industry. Additionally, to successfully attain my career goals, I need to ensure that I have the right balance with my personal life. As such, the next phase of my personal growth progression is to begin to serve my community during this time interval. My first priority is to raise money for cancer research. Initially, I will solicit sponsorship to raise money in cancer bike rides and also contribute separately from my own pocket. Also, as I was an underprivileged child without a role model at critical points in my life, I will begin my involvement as a role model for [Nonprofit Organization A]. to provide a source of guidance to children without fathers. Hopefully, I can guide a fatherless child to make the right choices by teaching him the lessons I have learned from my mistakes rather than having to learn the same lessons from his own mistakes. Also, as I am acquainted with the VP of Finance of another university from past business dealings, I will be seeking his advice (as he is well respected in his industry) on a proper strategy to gain membership to the Board of Directors or to a board of a similar university. I have a strong desire to freely lend my expertise to the VP of Finance of a university or university system to assist in minimizing interest costs and maximizing asset returns through the use of municipal debt and derivative products.
In five years, my career goals are to be promoted from Associate to SVP at [Bank A], to continue to nurture and grow my professional network, to continue my community service and to allow my wife to transition from her current career at [Bank B] to her new career as a full-time mother and part-time gymnastics judge/coach. By this time interval, I will be quickly promoted to SVP as I demonstrate my business acumen and leadership ability to management. As a SVP, I will be a senior member of the credit derivative group at [Bank A] and I will be positioning myself to manage the group in the near future. Also, I will continue to work hard to maintain and grow my existing professional network as it will be important to strengthen existing and to develop new professional allies. I will continue to be involved in raising money for cancer research and I will use my seniority at [Bank A] to make it an organizational priority to raise those funds. I will also continue to work on attaining the university board membership and to be involved with [Nonprofit Orginization A]. Most importantly, this is the time interval when my wife can choose to become a full-time mother to our children. In addition, I’ll encourage her to begin the pursuit of her passion to become a gymnastics coach and judge.
In ten years, my career goals are to be promoted from SVP to MD of the credit derivatives group at [Bank A], to maintain and grow my professional network, to continue my community service and help my wife manage our family. By this time interval, I will be promoted to MD and will be managing the credit derivatives group at [Bank A]. I will continue the aforementioned community service projects and will have gained membership to the [University A] (or similar university) Board of Directors. Additionally, I will have a hands-on approach to helping my wife manage our family. I will be actively involved in every family member’s life by providing encouragement, life guidance and friendship. I will be actively involved in my children’s lives from their parent-teacher conferences to sporting events. I will continue to encourage my wife to pursue her gymnastics dreams.
In fifteen years, my career goals are to seek out a smaller investment bank (such as [Bank B] or [Bank C]) to change the direction of my career, to maintain and grow my professional network, to continue to provide community service and to stay actively involved in each family member’s life. By this time interval, I will have excellent experience from a top-notch bank to leverage into a position at a smaller investment bank. I will strongly desire at this point to move to a smaller company because they tend to allow employees to place more emphasis on family and life balance. As such, I will be starting a new credit derivatives group or taking over the management of an existing credit derivative group (or another type of derivative group) at my new company. This new position will allow me to devote more time to my family and community service.
The work experiences that will help me to achieve my career goals have evolved from [Bank B], [Bank C] and [Company D]. At [Bank B], I had the opportunity to be a part of a municipal derivatives team of four professionals that consistently generated significant annual revenues and also improved the municipal derivatives market through constant innovation (for example, we were the first municipal derivatives desk to introduce a municipal bond option program called “MuniCHOPs”—municipal call hedging option program). From this experience I learned that I have the entrepreneurial spirit and can work well with a team under stressful circumstances. From my [Bank C] experience, I have learned that companies and employees may differ culturally. Upon my departure from [Bank C] to gain managerial experience at [Bank D], I assumed that [Bank D] was culturally similar to [Bank C]. However, I learned rather quickly that while [Bank D] was an excellent bank, it was also a conservative regional bank. In fact, [Bank D]’s conservative culture was the antithesis of [Bank C]’s entrepreneurial culture. As such, I realized that my entrepreneurial spirit and ambition were not appropriate for the culture of [Bank D]. This experience will remain with me because I have learned that companies, as well as employees, may be different and those differences must be recognized in the implementation of strategic managerial objectives. From my [Company E] experience, I have honed my entrepreneurial, communication, leadership and business relationship skills.
Also, my personal growth experience will help me to achieve my career goals. From my personal growth experience, I have learned that strong relationships are the most important component to my personal and family happiness. As such, the nurturing of strong professional relationships, thereby increasing my professional network is just as important to my professional success. As an experienced professional it is important to teach and develop younger professionals unselfishly, to foster a team-oriented environment, and to continuously maintain open lines of communication with former colleagues and business school classmates. Additionally, I have learned that balancing my life between my professional and family goals will contribute to my professional success as well. This will enable me to avoid both professional and personal regrets and pitfalls, thereby maintaining a high level of happiness. Also, as part of balancing my life, I am no longer motivated to professionally succeed by only the prospect of making money. But rather, I am motivated to succeed so that I can provide my family with the things that I never had as a child: family happiness, a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood, life guidance and a finer appreciation of life.
A Babson MBA will provide a diverse student body, an excellent selection of academic courses and the opportunity to begin a new career. The Babson MBA program offers a culturally diverse student body (38% international, 62% domestic, according to Business Week Online) that is similar to today’s culturally diverse workplace. This prepares the Babson MBA student to learn how to understand and accept differences among culturally different group members under stressful circumstances. Hence, the Babson MBA student is better prepared to assimilate into a team environment at a culturally diverse company. Additionally, Babson is known for the entrepreneurship program. As such, I am interested in exploring the decision making process of the student that desires to be an entrepreneur. As one who has taken risk by starting a derivatives consulting company and worked (and will in the future) in a fast-paced entrepreneurial environment (but never had time to appreciate the moment) I want to develop friendships with those that have similar interests. Thus, I will have an opportunity to study the entrepreneurial spirit through the bond of those friendships.
Additionally, I am looking forward to formally learning finance from the Babson MBA program. As I believe that having a strong technical base is important, I look forward to scheduling Valuation (FIN 7000), Risk Management (FIN 7504), Portfolio Management (FIN 7530) and Advanced Derivative Securities (FIN 7550). Also, as I will be a senior level manager, I am interested in learning about leadership and organizational behavior. As such, Strategic Management (MOB 7000), Negotiations (MOB 7120) and Implementing Strategic Change (MOB 7500) are important to my interests in learning about leadership and management. Finally, my first elective priority is to ensure that I am scheduled for the Marketing for Entrepreneurs course (EPS 7574) so that I can meet fellow entrepreneurs.
It is of paramount importance to me that a wide variety of financial services firms recruit MBAs at Babson. As such, recruitment from various financial services firms will ensure that a diversified set of career paths is available. For example, as previously discussed, my targeted employer upon graduation is [Bank A]. However, if there isn’t an opportunity to join [Bank A] in my chosen field (credit derivatives), then there are other potential employers that recruit at Babson that I can explore for opportunities in credit derivatives including [Banks B, C, D, or E]. Then there are smaller financial services firms that I can also explore career opportunities (in credit derivatives or another area of derivatives) at including [Banks F, G, or H]. At the moment, I do not have entree to a career outside of the municipal industry at any of these financial services firms.
As I have been in the municipal industry since I was a junior in college (13 years), I have a strong desire to grow professionally by beginning a new career in a different segment of the financial services industry. However, due to my longevity in the municipal industry coupled with an undergraduate degree from [University F], I have found it difficult to break-through to a new career in a new industry. As such, the prestige of the Babson MBA program, the success of Babson’s alumni and my successful track record will be, in combination, the mechanism that allows me to shatter the glass ceiling that I have encountered.
My carefully planned career path and professional/personal experiences in combination with a Babson MBA will ensure that I am successful in my next career.
This essay, although too long by normal standards, covered a lot of information for the candidate. It is a good example of a student with clearly defined career goals, a plan of how he intends to achieve those goals, and clear articulation of how the Babson MBA is going to assist him in attaining those goals. Due to the fact that this student had a unique situation with regard to his work and prior education, degrees of latitude were afforded with regard to the length of the essay. This is not a strategy I would recommend for candidates; try to stay within the recommended word limit. This student clearly did the necessary research and was able to weave certain details of the program that supported his goals into the essay. Again, I advise caution in taking this approach; the last thing the admissions committee wants to read in an essay is what’s in their course book. However, the relevance of what is stated directly supported the student’s goals and made a clear connection.
The Weatherhead School of Management at Case Western Reserve University is a model of innovation and diversity. From our cutting-edge, Frank Gehry-designed building, to eighteen areas of concentration, including Bioscience Entrepreneurship and Nonprofit Management, the school is noted for being ‘forward-thinking’ and innovative in its approach to management education. The admissions committee, therefore, keeps these hallmarks in mind when reviewing and admitting candidates to the full-time MBA program.
“The committee purposefully constructs a class profile that mirrors the school’s innovative and diverse nature, considering nationality (45 percent of the class is international), gender, ethnicity, work experience, and educational background. However, beyond the rudimentary demographic information, the committee also considers the ‘gray area’: What makes one candidate stand apart from the others? What qualities has this person demonstrated that guarantee involvement in activities outside the classroom? How do you know this person will be effective in the numerous team settings? It is through the essay questions that the committee is able to ‘see’ the candidates—not just for what they have done academically or on a standardized test, but for the people they are and that they wish to become.”
Question: Describe your motivation for pursuing an MBA degree. How does it fit with your short- and long-term career goals?
My earliest impression of community service may have been the pins my grandmothers received for giving blood. My desire to help others was embedded by my family and manifested itself through a combination of three things: 1) my public policy education at [University A], 2) an introduction to the nonprofit sector at a seminar in D.C. through [Nonprofit Organization A], and 3) an internship at the [State A]’s 4-H Office. These experiences solidified my desire to work in the nonprofit sector.
My career thus far has entailed a rapid assumption of responsibilities. [Nonprofit Organization B], a national advocacy organization, hired me as a Development Assistant, and soon I was promoted to the newly created position of Prospect Researcher. As such, I was responsible for identifying and qualifying funding sources and setting up a “research shop.” At [Nonprofit Organization C], a five-hospital system with numerous ancillary services, I conduct prospect research for twice as many Development Officers. I also have fundraising responsibility for [Program A], and I write grants for [Center A]. As a result of my career growth and increased responsibilities, my salary doubled in just under two years.
Three and a half years of nonprofit experience so far has exposed me to a variety of nonprofit organizations. Although their missions, size, and my role in them have varied dramatically, there are similarities that are current issues in nonprofit management. So focused on their missions, nonprofits often lack the qualities of a well-managed business. Some nonprofits walk a precarious financial tightrope, and others have significant human resource problems. These weaknesses compromise their effectiveness and their ability to tackle important social problems.
These kinds of administrative issues are almost always known quantities, but nonprofit managers often lack the skill sets and experience to know how to approach solving them. I believe the MBA from Weatherhead and a certificate from the Mandel Center will provide me with the unique background needed to balance the mission of an organization with its responsibility to operate effectively. The curriculum is the most comprehensive and practical of any of the schools that offer this combination, and I look forward to working with and learning from dynamic teachers and taking part in the Mentor program. Now is the right time to pursue my MBA because I believe am ready to contribute to organizational health in a strategic way, and business skills will equip me to move to this level and be effective.
With a degree from Case Western and the Mandel Center, I will gain a solid mix of business skills and understanding of the special issues nonprofits face. In the short-term I see myself as a Development Director or senior manager helping ensure both the fiscal and programmatic health of a community agency that depends on charitable dollars for its operating budget. In the long term I hope to work on the cutting edge of nonprofit management theory or become involved in the funding side of the equation as a grant maker or an advisor to high level donors looking to leverage their charitable dollars. The Weatherhead School offers me the best path to achieving the same satisfaction my grandmothers got from giving blood—helping nonprofit organizations help others more effectively.
Paragraph 1: The essay begins with a well-constructed introduction, which gives good insight into the candidate: focus on community service, importance of family, educational background, breadth of work, and internship experience. This paragraph gives a solid picture of the candidate in just a few sentences. It serves as a good foundation for the rest of the essay, which elaborates on the various facets of the candidate.
Paragraph 2: In detailing specific work experiences, the candidate is already highlighting the skills and talents she can contribute as a student in our program. Additionally, the assumption of new/different responsibilities and an increase in position and salary illustrate that her abilities are recognized and rewarded by the organizations for which she has worked.
Paragraph 3: Here, the candidate demonstrates her ability to analyze organizations with regard to basic business functions. This paragraph is also a preliminary introduction to the motivation aspect of the question.
Paragraph 4: This paragraph is the “heart” of the essay; it details the motivation for the degree, and it highlights aspects of the school program and how they fit with her goals. This paragraph has been perfectly set up by the three previous paragraphs.
Paragraph 5: This is an excellent essay summary that gives specific answers with regard to short- and long-term goals. The final sentence brings the essay full circle, back to the reference of how her desire for community service evolved.
Summary: This is a well-constructed essay that remains focused on the topic while giving the readers insight into the person behind the application. Specific examples of work experience and elements of the program that fit her goals give the impression of a candidate who has evaluated her own situation, set goals for her career, researched the options, and made an informed decision about what she is looking for in an MBA.
Question: How will your background and experiences enhance the quality of the entering class of Weatherhead MBA students?
Moving from rural Tennessee to suburban New York at the age of twelve was not an easy thing to do. Trying to blend in during this fragile stage of life was a challenge; “y’all” was not a part of the typical middle schooler’s vocabulary in New York. However, this change in lifestyle at a young age laid the foundation for a passion to meet different types of people and experience various lifestyles and cultures. In college, I had several experiences that enriched me. From taking a class taught by Maya Angelou to scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef during my semester abroad, [University A] provided the perfect slate for an undergraduate experience filled with meaningful experiences.
One of the most worthwhile experiences I have had, however, took place after I received my diploma from [University A]. Being chosen to serve my country for ten months in a [Nonprofit Organization B] program was one of the greatest honors I have received. Describing one of the projects that my team worked on will help illustrate the lessons I learned and the memories that I take with me into each new experience in my life.
My [Nonprofit Organization B] team, comprised of twelve individuals from eleven different states, lived for two months in a three-bedroom house that had been repossessed by [Nonprofit Organization C] after the tenants had violated the rules of living there. We lived in a neighborhood in which drug deals on the corner were common occurrences. We would build houses for [Nonprofit Organization C] during the day and return at night, exhausted and sore, to walk down the street to the community center and help the neighborhood kids with their homework. In this unique life experience, I literally lived among the people whom I was serving. I did not work all day and then return to a place of security, equipped with the amenities I was used to in my life. That was not an option.
Never before had I been so close in proximity to the very root of the problem that we sought to eliminate by building houses for the poor. No longer could I judge those on “the other side.” I was one of them. They were one of us. I was reminded of the premise that Maya Angelou taught her class around—“We are more alike than we are different.” Although she had made us recite that each week in her class, it was three years later when I was living it. She was more right than I had ever realized.
My background, shaped by these types of experiences, will add to the diversity of the class beginning this fall at the Weatherhead School of Management. Not only am I eager to share my own life experiences with others but I am also equally excited to be challenged by those who have had a very different past. The exchange between myself, one who wants to apply an MBA to the nonprofit sector, and another student, perhaps one who is ready to improve his managerial skills for the consulting field, has the potential to be outstanding. I know I would contribute to the diversity of a class of individuals, each from a different background with a different set of skills, all ultimately seeking the same thing.
Paragraph 1: The first sentence, simply stating a fact of her life, already draws the reader in to the essay—thinking of a twelve-year-old girl trying to “hide” her southern accent from her New York classmates. This reference point sets up nicely the following sentences, which exemplify her interest in meeting different types of people and discovering different cultures.
Paragraph 2: Here the candidate sets up the remainder of the essay. Also, as this experience is not one that many people will have shared, it reminds the reader of her uniqueness—in both pursuing the volunteer work and being selected for the program.
Paragraph 3: In describing her living conditions, the candidate speaks to her ability to be flexible and adaptive—twelve people in a three-bedroom house, living in a neighborhood far from her own life experience. The detail enhances the commitment to community involvement. She is not a “weekend” volunteer, but chose to live a lifestyle that would put her in daily contact with those she hoped to help.
Paragraph 4: This paragraph illustrates personal growth gained from her experience. The ability to enter a challenging environment, adapt to difficult surroundings, and appreciate the experience as one of growth and learning is exactly what an admissions committee would hope for with all candidates.
Paragraph 5: This summary paragraph brings the focus to the question at hand, with the candidate reiterating not only how the experience enriched her and will allow her to contribute to the class, but also her eagerness to learn from others with varying backgrounds.
Summary: The essay is effective in two ways. First, it demonstrates self-knowledge and personal growth—both of which are important for candidates to possess and embrace to fully take advantage of the MBA experience. Second, it details a nonwork experience. While the volunteer experience is certainly valuable (and valued by the admissions committee as they look for students to enrich our community), some candidates do not feel that they should write about nonwork accomplishments. They believe that because they are applying to business school, they should focus on business experiences only. However, most every school wants/expects students to have a balance between school and their personal life, so it is beneficial to learn about what they’ve done in the past.
Personal Statement: What special contributions do you believe you will bring to the Drucker School? Why is a Drucker School MBA important to you?
What special contributions do you believe you will bring to the Drucker School?
If this is going to be a personal statement, I might as well put “me” all over this statement. So, “out” with the generic and “in” with something a little different. I feel that I bring the following qualities and contributions to my Drucker experience.
Leadership
How do leaders become better? By learning from those who have been where you are trying to go. These leaders can show you the way, so you may lead others. I feel that Drucker provides those experienced leaders, both teaching the classes and sitting next to me learning. The exciting idea about graduate school is the fact that you are not merely gaining experience from internships and lectures, but the most experience will probably come from my study group members and classmates. As far as I know, there isn’t anyone applying to Drucker from my company. So, my experience in the retail industry will probably enlighten my classmates, hopefully, for the better.
I’ve been involved in leadership opportunities most of my life. From co-captain of my basketball team to VP of my chapter of [Association A], leadership has taught me responsibility, courage, and strength. I know how it feels to have the entire weight of an expensive project on your shoulders. I feel that it is very important to have leadership experience in a program that relies so heavily on group participation. In every group, you are not always the leader. But after participating in these roles, I understand the role of a leader. By understanding, I believe that I can be more effective and cooperative in a group.
Resolve/Don’t Quit Attitude
There have been so many times in life that I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and say, “That’s it! I can’t do it!” But I have always had that voice inside pulling me back together, telling me that I can make it. “Just hold on a little longer.” I know for a fact MBA programs are not easy and Drucker is no different. But I know that I have the strength and resolve to pull through. Strength also comes from those around you. My “don’t quit” attitude will definitely rub off on others, encouraging them that we can do this together. With all the group projects and study groups involved in the program, there is no choice but to pull for each other.
When I was eighteen, a car accident left me paralyzed from the neck down. Doctors counted me out from the first day out. They said that I would never walk again and would have to look at buying a more permanent wheelchair. I told everyone in the room that day; “I am walking back to school in the fall”. When everyone counted me out, I decided then and there that I couldn’t give up. Why attempt to do anything in life, if you don’t think you can be successful at it? Regardless of how many times you may think you have failed, barring death, you can try again with the knowledge gained from the previous attempts. I have been told that a leg that has healed after being broken is stronger than it was before. Through relentless physical therapy and prayer, I carried my own books into my dorm room to start the fall of my sophomore year of college. Broken temporarily, but stronger indefinitely.
Creativity
With the current status of the economy, creativity will be a “must-have” in whatever industry you enter. I’m glad I have it. You have to think outside of the box to figure how you will first find your niche in the job market. Product development is the area of marketing I aspire to enter, once I receive my MBA. My creativity will flow into every aspect of my Drucker experience, from group projects to on-campus organizations.
As a member of my marketing association, I helped create our theme and exhibition for the national convention. Using items laying around campus, such as street signs, pieces of tarp, and plastic tubing, we re-created a construction site in a New Orleans convention hall. I do believe that I have the ability to make something from nothing at all. I enjoy taking a look at everyday items and finding methods of improving upon them.
Sense of Responsibility to self, family, and community
Accomplishments are not simply for you. When you gain a degree, you have a responsibility to your family and community also. I feel a great need to use my knowledge to help others around me. There are so many underprivileged youth in Southern California that could use the encouragement of people like me to inspire and show them the path to greater aspirations, beyond simply sports and entertainment.
While at Drucker, I plan to participate in numerous community service activities, [Nonprofit Organization B] and [Nonprofit Organization C]. But I must use my added knowledge from a Drucker MBA to go back to those communities that gave so much to me, in South LA and Compton. I do not want to be the only person to benefit from my degree. I want the world to receive the wisdom and kindness that was passed down to me.
Sense of the Big Picture/Ability to bring people together
Have you ever met a person that could enter a conversation and understand where everyone was coming from? I feel that I have the unique ability to view issues with an open mind and relate to someone’s opinion without sacrificing my own. My belief is the key to communication, in a community as diverse as Southern California, is listening. Being able to hear exactly what someone is saying and why it is being said, in the tone/fashion they are presenting that idea.
International students, statistically, dominate the graduate school arena. You find this highly affirmative in the state of California. With the diverse backgrounds and languages we come from, it is imperative effective communication is present to bring about common understanding. The Drucker program is passionate about group work and participation. I know that I can come into a group setting and be productive. Looking beyond language/cultural barriers to see the big picture, both in class and in life, to bring us all together.
Charisma
The first time I heard the word “Charisma” was watching Earving “Magic” Johnson of the LA Lakers. Sports broadcasters were amazed at the way “Magic” could begin to speak and everyone would listen. Yes, I know. I could have used great leaders of the past or present, but “Magic” was different. Outside of his great basketball ability, he was an average guy. But, even after basketball was over for him, he could lead in political, economic, and social issues with the same passion and following. That’s charisma. And I believe that I’ve got it. When it’s time to take on a project, I can light the spark within and ignite those around me. Just like “Magic”.
Why is a Drucker School MBA important to you?
Importance of a name vs. UCR
When I attended college for my undergraduate studies, my priority was to attend a school that I could afford. [University D] provided me with a reputable education and a full four-year scholarship. But [University D] was one of the lesser known of the [University System] campuses. I felt that it cost me some exposure to opportunities that might have been available if I attended a more prominent school. That’s where Drucker comes in.
To me, Drucker has the name and national attention that I was not able to receive in my undergraduate years. In 2001, Drucker was ranked in the top 20 of MBA programs nationwide, in US News and Reports. The opportunity to have a MBA that means a lot to Fortune 500 companies, combined with your Claremont, Ca. location, makes Drucker a very desirable place to be.
Small school—make a BIG impact
If you throw a rock in a lake, the ripples are not quite as large as if you were to throw a stone into a small pond. I believe the previous analogy suits the effect of a counselor, a professor, and especially, an active student, in a small school environment. Given the opportunity, I think that I could both impact, and be impacted, by an education here, at the Drucker School of Management. A smaller school gives all those included greater means for interaction and learning. Simply from comparing the information sessions I attended, Claremont appeared to care more about the quality of their students and the integrity of the management program.
Coming from a small school, such as [University D], I appreciate the extra time and effort campus faculty and staff had to offer. I realize I have grown far more than my counterparts that attended larger school systems, like [University E] or [University F]. I have learned that within a smaller school lies a great opportunity to participate in multiple organizations. But when participating in those organizations, it’s not just attendance in meeting or paying dues. It is not large and non-productive. You can actually accomplish projects and make an impact in the community.
Not just a Drucker MBA, a CGU graduate degree
Here’s the clincher for me. I am delighted that you are able to take courses at other schools within the Consortium of Graduate Studies. Business is a field that, I believe, encompasses all other areas of study. Psychology has always been a field of study I felt was important to further my understanding of human behavior. If I could better understand human behavior, I could then determine marketing strategy based on possible consumer behavior. By taking classes in psychology or economics, I feel I could gain a more global idea of marketing and strategy. My MBA would be enhanced by the chance to not only learn from Drucker, which is great in itself. But, I can also participate in seminars and courses within the entire Consortium.
Investment with a strong return
All in all, I would be an excellent candidate for the Drucker MBA program. I possess the drive, intensity, and endurance to withstand the rigors of a semester system at full speed. Community service and social integrity are, and will always be, very important to me. My MBA degree will be part of a long journey, full of people that taught me many great things. The rest of my journey will be spent implanting my knowledge into others that can follow our lead of creating change in boardrooms and classrooms.
I want [my] focus [to] begin in marketing with product development at a consumer product corporation. Later, use that knowledge to help struggling Los Angeles areas in community development projects. For, I believe that the two areas deal with the same thought process just different outcomes. I want to motivate more corporations to invest in their communities to spark a chain reaction of social consciousness at the business level. I hope that Drucker is the school that can help me on my way.
The Drucker MBA Academic Committee found that this personal statement accurately portrays the “real” student, who has a personal approach. Since the Drucker Graduate School of Management offers a very personal approach to educating future ethical business leaders, it is important to create a mutually beneficial match between student and classroom, and to be able to gain a sense of an applicant in the personal statement—something that gives the “between-the-lines” type of information that cannot be obtained in an application for admission.
This student portrays his knowledge of the Drucker School and its ideals as well as how he will personally contribute and adapt to the culture of the school. Through abstract traits, the student defines what those qualities (leadership, attitude, creativity, sense of responsibility, big-picture concept, and charisma) mean in the world of business. He then elaborates further to explain how, through specific examples, he will contribute those qualities to make the classroom a well-fostered learning environment.
The Drucker MBA Academic Committee is interested in knowing what strengths and skills a student will bring to the classroom, as much of the Drucker curriculum is integrative and interactive among other students and faculty. It should also be noted that as an academic committee we strive to enroll students who will not only bring much to the classroom but also gain much from the classroom. This student gives a very clear picture that his admission into the MBA program would be mutually beneficial to himself and the Drucker School.
Additionally, through his response to the importance of a Drucker MBA, it is obvious that this student understands the value of brand recognition by acknowledging the name and reputation of the Drucker MBA. As an academic committee, we want students who will be proud of their efforts during MBA course work and who will take that pride into their leadership business roles. We want alumni who will support the school in more than monetary ways. Alumni can play key roles in public relations, recruitment, and overall advancement of the Drucker reputation. This student appears to understand that we are “A Different School of Thought,” and he believes those differences will be worth the investment of his education.
Personal Statement: What special contributions do you believe you will bring to the Drucker School? Why is a Drucker School MBA important to you?
What do I bring to the Drucker School?
As an undergraduate, there was a schism between humanities and business majors. We were completely polarized into either the pre-professional group or the liberal arts group and the most common response to hearing that my major was Comparative Literature was the question, “What are you going to do with that?” Even then, I felt strongly that the pursuit of humanities was worthwhile because, through it, I learned about life and about people. I was introduced to interdisciplinary education through [University A’s Honors Program], and then was drawn to an interdisciplinary major that emphasized critical thinking. It took some time working to really answer the looming question of what I was going to do with my degree. But, after a few years, I was able to make the connection between business and my humanities education and realize that it takes a good understanding of people, as well as an interest in them, to be a good manager and effective leader.
Another challenge of this system is that there is little regular employee evaluation, which is compounded by our president living in New York. I have taken a leadership role in addressing many of the human issues, from showing appreciation to employees and customers, suggesting actions to help employees grow and develop and mediating disputes, while trying not to violate our structure and philosophies to administering benefits. Recently, we completed a job at a university in Utah in which we applied our technology to a new market for the first time building a specialized lab for an electron microscope. The timeline demands and scheduling, plus the stress of the learning curve on a new project, created a dispute between two employees who happen to be brothers. One, uncharacteristically, left the job completely and came home early, while the other finished the job. When they each came to me to tell their side and get my support, I was able to listen and be empathic without taking sides, and then suggest that they think about what they could change to make to prevent the situation from reoccurring. I was happy with how I handled the situation, and how they handled it. They have made some adjustments for subsequent jobs and I have made some suggestions for each of their continued development.
I am very proud of the manager I have matured into over the last several years. In my early twenties, I believed that career advancement was best achieved by moving around every couple of years and trying new things. More recently I have come to believe that real personal growth is achieved more by staying and putting down roots, than by moving. In a sense both perspectives are valid. By moving around and trying different positions, I gained great technical skills and an understanding of many different industries and departments. By staying in a position that offered little external structure, I learned to motivate and manage myself and to build solid relationships. Ultimately, it is the combination of technical skills with personal skills that will determine my success as a manager. At this point in my life, I can say with confidence that I have developed both skill sets and am ready to pursue a degree in management.
Why a Drucker MBA?
My interest in a Drucker MBA originated from personal recommendations of people I have greatly respected. I had initially heard of the Claremont colleges in high school. The teachers and administration of the private academy I attended strongly advocated Claremont because of the personal attention and focus on teaching. Later, when working for [Company B], one of the managers who happened to be an alumnus encouraged me to consider the program. Most recently, I consulted my boss’ wife who is an Executive Vice President of Strategic Technology at [Company C]. Of all of the schools I was considering, her strongest support went to the Drucker program. I found that especially surprising since she herself had earned her Executive MBA at [University D].
After I began researching the Drucker program for myself, I was drawn to interdisciplinary approach and the concept of business management as a liberal art. I believe the philosophies of the school closely fit my own, as I do not believe that business can be successful and ethical when isolated from the human elements. Quite early in my career, I went through layoffs with three different companies. One company distinguished itself in my mind by continuing to hire up until the day prior to the layoffs with no regard for the effect on the employees. Since then I have been fortunate to work at companies such as [Company B] that took great pride in their management skills and philosophy, even when faced with difficult decisions.
Because of my liberal arts background I feel much more at home with the Drucker Program than with some other programs I have investigated. Even through the application and information gathering process, the experience has been much more personal than with other schools. The core philosophy mixed with distinguished faculty and thoughtful support programs makes the Drucker MBA program very rich. Possibly the biggest point of differentiation, and thus the biggest attractor, is the focus on leadership and management. These skills are so absolutely timeless that whatever happens in the economy, whatever changes arise over the next twenty years, they will be excellent preparation. Accounting or marketing practices may change over time, new technology comparable to the internet may emerge, and the investment to acquire leadership and management skills will still have been well worth the investment.
The academic committee is able to gain a sense of the student’s personality from this essay. It is critical for the Peter F. Drucker Graduate School of Management to enroll students who are pursuing an MBA for reasons greater than increased salary and career advancement. Because the Drucker MBA has a liberal arts approach to management, the school aims to graduate students who are socially responsible and have goals of becoming leaders and managers. The Drucker School is a school of management, not just business. The student who wrote this personal statement is clearly focused on becoming a better manager, not just advancing her career or salary.
This student comes from a nonbusiness academic background but has worked in business for ten years. With this type of background, the student can bring a different perspective to the classroom that will increase its diversity and perspective. She understands the importance of building business skills to complement her nonbusiness background. The academic committee also notes that this student has given very specific examples of goals she has set and of ways she has practiced her personal leadership skills. It is valuable that she realizes that rectifying the weaknesses in her technical skills can make her a better leader and manager. Thus, the classroom will lend itself to teaching those technical skills and will give opportunities for her to practice those skills. The Drucker MBA program is a highly integrated team atmosphere both inside and outside the classroom. This student shows that she works well in a team environment by giving specific examples.
Time management is a critical skill for part-time students who also work full-time. Based on personal examples of things this student manages in her career, we recognize that she can successfully handle the demands of working full-time while attending school part-time. Additionally, she explains her understanding of the Drucker School and why we are “A Different School of Thought.” This is imperative because students who enroll in the Drucker MBA program need to understand that we educate future business managers and leaders. We take a different approach to education by providing a small, personal environment taught by world-renowned faculty. Students who understand and appreciate this approach reap incredible benefits from their Drucker MBA.
Note: The four Tuck essays included are each in response to this question. See this page for detailed information.
Question: Please respond fully but concisely to the following essay. Although there are no restrictions for the length of your response, most applicants use 1,000 words or fewer. Your response should be typed and double-spaced, with your name on each sheet. There is no right or wrong answer.
A well-known, multinational mining company has a long-term contract to extract precious metals in an impoverished region of a developing country. Over the past decade, the operation has proven very profitable to the company. Recently, there have been peaceful, but highly disruptive, protests by members of communities adjacent to the company’s property. The ruling military dictatorship has been unresponsive in meeting the local communities’ needs. The local communities are now demanding a share of the mining operation’s profits in the form of approximately U.S. $8 million to provide clean water and basic sanitation for the surrounding villages.
You have recently been promoted and sent to this country as the expatriate general manager responsible for the operation. The mine is assessed U.S. $20 million in annual taxes by the local government. This year you will show a U.S. $50 million after-tax profit if you elect not to address the request of the local community. Your team has worked very hard this year. A U.S. $50 million profit is the minimum level to ensure that your team meets its bonus plan.
“Argue for your limitations and they’re yours.”—Anonymous
A great leader possesses two indispensable traits: the ability to recognize his or her own limitations, and the ability to recognize the motivations and competencies of others that can help exceed these limitations. Coupled, these traits provide a powerful capacity for problem-solving. As the manager of a mining operation in a developing country, my problem-solving skills are now challenged.
MINING OPERATION—SITUATION ANALYSIS
Assumptions
To better define the parameters within which I am working, I make the following assumptions. My team is composed primarily of ex-patriates in management, with local citizens comprising the balance of the workforce. The bonus plan allows managerial participation only. The dictator is concerned with holding onto power, and maintaining his $20M tax revenue. We are nearing the end of the fiscal year; therefore, I can forecast that the $50M minimum profit will be achieved, if unforeseen costs are not incurred. Finally, the $8M demanded by the community has been confirmed as the amount required in order to meet their priority needs, which are, in fact, basic sanitation and clean water.
Business Strengths
The operation is productive enough to achieve $50M in after-tax profit this year, allowing us to benefit from the bonus plan, which enhances management’s productivity incentive. Ties to the surrounding community exist through local employees. The government is a stakeholder via its tax revenue. My team possesses managerial and cultural experience specific to operating in this community.
Business Weaknesses
The community sees relatively little benefit from the operations of this profitable foreign corporation. This inequality, combined with government disinterest, has led to operational disruptions. The government is unconcerned with community needs, yet we pay $20M in annual taxes. The bonus does not benefit most local workers, hence, they have little productivity incentive. Although they represent a tie to the community, this is not currently leveraged. A lack of clean water and sanitation results in chronic illness amongst employees, detracting from productivity. Finally, the company lacks technical knowledge and experience in community development.
Several significant opportunities exist. Creation of a profit-sharing plan to include the local workers could create incentive and provide added economic benefit to the community. My company is also afforded the opportunity to exercise social leadership—by making a real difference in citizens’ lives. This could conceivably increase productivity through improved employee health and morale. In addition, protecting the government’s tax revenue could act as leverage to induce positive government action.
Threats
Protests grow in frequency and severity, disrupting business operations. Community illness continues to threaten productivity. Bad publicity surrounding the situation leads to poor employee morale and decreased value in the eyes of shareholders. A looming threat is the potential precedent set by paying the full $8M. In this scenario, the bonus plan goes untapped, and assuming full corporate responsibility leads to further demands, by the same communities, and by different ones—in my company and in others. My operation’s potential profit would already have decreased by 16%. Similar events throughout my company and others would be financially unsustainable. It could present insurmountable obstacles to doing business in developing countries, that is, if limits are not set.
Resulting Elements of Plan
—Sustain and even increase productivity by:
—Decrease the risk of further operational disruption.
—Share accountability for community development amongst different stakeholders, not solely the company.
I propose a partnership of different parties that will share accountability for addressing community needs. A pilot program will be implemented, to identify and address the highest-priority need. The stakeholders in this program will be my operation, corporate headquarters, an NGO, and the government. The company will contribute funds, as will, if at all possible, the government. The NGO will provide technical expertise. My operation will aid in project management, in conjunction with community representatives and the NGO. The community will provide an in-kind labor contribution. In addition, a profit-sharing plan will be added for the employees, starting with the new budget cycle.
Importantly, the company’s initial financial contribution should come from corporate, not the local branch. This is because the financial structure does not take into account these unforeseen costs, which are necessary to operate effectively in the country. A cost-benefit analysis should be provided, showing that this contribution can increase productivity and minimize costly risks such as operational disruptions, bad press, weak employee incentive, and poor morale—all of which lead to reduced operating margins. Another selling point is the publicity possible: our corporate collaboration with the social sector, working to improve lives in the communities in which we operate. This publicity could increase employee morale and shareholder value.
Corporate action takes time. The argument to decouple the “social costs” from the financial structure was made. If the change is not fast enough, my branch will provide the first installment for the pilot, from next year’s budget. Any perceived time lapse will be made palatable to the community via the expansion of the bonus plan and through strong community engagement in planning for the pilot. Initial funds will also pay for NGO selection. Once identified, the NGO will be convinced to participate because of the benefit to the community, but also the unique partnership—an opportunity to tap into the private sector to accomplish its own goals.
My branch will act quickly on several fronts. Strong links to the community will be developed through local workers, who will act as community representatives, and help identify others from outside the company. Through these links the community will be engaged. With the NGO and branch management, they will prioritize what portion of the project should first be implemented and how. The sell to the community should be based on the fact that the pilot program is a necessary first step. The community will benefit from it and the proposed profit-sharing plan. If successful, further projects may be possible.
The government must be persuaded to provide partial funding. This should be presented as an opportunity to increase government popularity, e.g. security, and ensure its continued tax revenue. The story line: their lack of participation will make country operations increasingly difficult financially, and possibly unsustainable. Diplomacy (e.g. the local US ambassador) should be used to apply cautious pressure to the government using this stance.
In the long run, corporate can decide whether to expand the program. In this case, foundations and aid organizations could be contacted as potential donors. Implementing the pilot program gives corporate time to evaluate the issues, identify other donors, and reform the financial structure appropriately. Insight will be gained from the pilot, aiding their decision-making.
This collaboration creates value beyond what I alone could have created. Each constituency contributes different, but complementary abilities. Corporate social responsibility is acknowledged, but limited by sharing accountability with other parties. Profits are maximized by quelling operational disruptions, maintaining and expanding worker incentives, and creating strong employee and community morale.
CONCLUSION
The leaders of multinational corporations have the opportunity to enhance operations, and financial performance, by addressing social issues. Partnering with social-sector organizations can be an effective model for doing so. It is a way of exceeding corporations’ own limitations and effecting positive social change. Those who do not address social concerns will increasingly find their financial concerns are at risk. Kofi Annan stated this eloquently, “Thriving markets and human security go hand in hand; without one, we will not have the other.”
This essay presents a clear, thoughtful analysis of the situation, with a creative, compassionate, and mutually beneficial solution. This candidate’s solution depicts a realistic situation of working with the corporate headquarters, a nongovernmental organization, the government, and local citizens. Throughout the essay, the candidate maintains a serious yet optimistic tone, often referring to the dilemma as an “opportunity.”
My past experiences are surprisingly relevant in my analysis of this case. As a civil engineer, I am well aware of the importance of clean water and basic sanitation infrastructure. While on active duty with the U.S. Army, I worked as an officer in [Location A], [Location B] and [Location C] in positions that involved a significant amount of community interaction. In [Location A] I was an environmental advisor to the General responsible for all U.S. Army facilities. I managed environmental programs and responded to [Location A residents’] complaints about sewage runoff into local rivers, hazardous waste spills and leaking underground oil storage tanks. The U.S. Army hires many local civilians to supplement the active duty and U.S. civilian staff, so I received more than enough feedback from local sources. In [Location B], I worked as a construction equipment maintenance officer and frequently traveled to [City A, Location B] and [City B, Location B] to purchase repair parts, which taught me the importance of maintaining good relationships with local businesspeople. In [Location C] on a peacekeeping tour, I planned future road and bridge repairs, which were often restricted by U.S. policies forbidding nation building. Each repair project had to be justified by military patrol requirements rather than local community desires, although projects that met both needs were definitely the most rewarding.
As a student of cultural anthropology, I’ve studied the mechanics of societies, hierarchy of needs, issues of globalization and perceptions of wealth, poverty and happiness. Although specific cultural details in this case are not presented, a relativistic analysis of the situation would yield some explanations for the conflicting views of the mining company, the local community and the dictatorship, all of which are worth considering before making any decisions. And as a current resident of [Location D] and former resident of [Location E], I’ve become accustomed to living and thriving in multi-cultural environments.
The following are the potential courses of action I would consider as general manager of the mine. Some are mutually exclusive while others could be performed in unison. I’ve divided these courses of action into three categories: those involving the company directly, those focusing on the local people and those involving outside agencies.
Company Options
People Options
Outside Agency Options
After deliberation on the above options, I’ve decided to pursue the following four-step course of action:
My constituents are the mine’s employees, corporate executives, stockholders and directors. I would explain to them that my decision was based on thorough research and analysis of many alternatives. No company works in a vacuum, or can afford to focus solely on maximizing profits at the expense of the corporate reputation. A local population without clean water and sanitation infrastructure is not in the company’s best interest, as the spread of disease will lead to decreased productivity locally with negative publicity impacts that are potentially far greater.
Bonuses are incentives that vary based on economic and social trends, and the performance of the company, but are rarely guaranteed. The biggest immediate concern for many employees will be the 10% decrease in bonuses, resulting in negative feedback and maybe even some resignations. Based on my analysis, a confrontational rather than cooperative solution to the protests would have resulted in a greater than 10% impact on future profits and bonuses. I would strive to make this clear to all constituents.
Depending on the actual success of the infrastructure improvements, I would also propose to the corporate marketing executives that our resolution of this problem be highlighted in future marketing campaigns to demonstrate the company’s attention to human welfare issues. Similar campaigns by other companies have increased market share by adding intangible value to the companies’ products.
This essay utilizes the candidate’s skill and experience in engineering to develop a realistic, thorough, yet simple solution. The analysis demonstrates a careful and thoughtful consideration of the pros and cons of each action from the viewpoint of the various constituencies. The essay demonstrates a keen understanding of the writer’s responsibilities, but doesn’t downplay the needs of the locals, validating that they affect the company’s success.
The following pages contain samples of real essays submitted to the Tuck School of Business that answer their killer long question. Sometimes it’s easier to learn from one’s mistakes. For that reason, two of the essays we offer you are poor examples of how to respond to this question.
Notes from the flight over:
Positive negotiating tools:
We have the Long-term contract as an asset.
Local government receives 20 million in taxes from mine.
Local workers comprise a meaningful percentage of local residents.
Undesirable issues:
Local communities want $8 million for clean water and basic sanitation.
Local communities protesting disruptively (assume that protests affect earnings).
Military dictatorship unresponsive to local community needs.
Option 1: Do nothing
Results: Company makes $50 million
Team hits minimum level for bonus
Locals still unsettled
Option 2: Bribe the Dictatorship
Actions: Pay the military to crush the protests
Results: Potentially improved profits (provided that new profits exceed bribe).
Real problem still exists, but exacerbated by force.
Dangerous precedent of graft.
Option 3: Negotiate w/ local gov’t
Actions: Taxes aren’t progressive, offer them a 1-time cut of profits above 50 mil. This would be in exchange for an up-front payment to community for water, along with a percentage of the taxes going to the community for water.
Do some goodwill PR w/ the community (not related to the water). Keep the local government identified as the source of the clean water to avoid setting the precedent of having to pay for municipal improvements.
Results: If local govt and community play along, protests subside, and after-tax profits increase. Run the risk associated w/ the precedent of paying a higher tax rate.
What’s an ex-pat GM to do?
Looking back, there was so much I didn’t know at the time. Yes, of course I knew our business, and I earned my promotion. I was even fairly well versed in a pseudo-expatriate lifestyle. Still, it was a situation that required a good deal of metered guesswork, instinct if you will.
I was busy fighting my way up the chain of command in the States, and I ran into an obstacle. Nepotism can be a bitch. When you lose the opportunity for up, out starts to look pretty good. I started to fish around for opportunities elsewhere, and the board caught wind of my new direction. They slapped together this package for me, what I now refer to as the Heart of Darkness deal, and sent me on my way. Jumping to General Manager created a world of new challenges, and removed any permanent obstacles to internal ascension. The expatriate element of the deal even sounded sexy at the time.
I was on a plane with my family before I could research the new locale. I was told that my predecessor had left for personal reasons, and needed to be replaced immediately. I later determined that he had been too closely tied to the country’s military dictatorship, and the board wanted him out. When I grabbed the reins, my division was finishing up Q3 and getting ready to head into the home stretch. They were on path to hit the $50 million minimum level for their bonus plan, but they had been working like dogs to get there.
Local communities had been peacefully protesting for the bulk of the year. Those protests reduced the number of able-bodied workers that we had in the mines, and restricted the daily flow of material. It was clear from the start that the division had been running at 110% of their normal efficiency in order to hit 85% of their financial goal (the minimum target for bonuses). If I would last as their GM, I would have to sweeten the pot—to reflect the work that they had been doing.
When I first analyzed the situation, I came to the following conclusions: On the positive side of the table we had a long-term contract on the land, and the local community depended heavily on us for their survival ($20 million in annual taxes, and jobs for a large percentage of the population). On the negative side we had the local community protesting for $8 million of spending in cleaner water and basic sanitation, and an unresponsive military dictatorship running the state.
On the plane flight over I hashed out three basic plans on how to approach the situation. The first and simplest idea was to stay the course. Without any change in direction, my division would hit the minimal level required to receive bonuses. The protests were of a peaceful nature, and it was unlikely that the protesters would attempt any form of local coup with the national, military dictatorship in place. While this approach was the simplest to accomplish (bearing in mind that I still had a division to run), it did nothing to address the limited bonuses that my employees would receive, or the quality of water and sanitation in the local community.
My second idea was really just a childish whim. It wouldn’t take much to bribe the military dictatorship into crushing the local protests. Besides my own personal compunction against using force to quell peaceful protests, there was the slippery slope of providing graft to a military dictatorship. It was not an option. I mention it only because, as I later discovered, a similar idea was the cause of my predecessor’s downfall.
After more serious thought, I came to the realization that I would never find incremental success with a company that was perceived as an outsider to the local community. While the vast majority of our workforce was comprised of local workers, very few locals were employed in managerial positions. This was a reflection of the dearth of college-educated people in the local community, but nonetheless branded us as a foreign operation.
I believe that intelligence thrives in many forms. While the local community did not have many citizens with the hard quantitative knowledge that I would need for group managers, I was certain that there would be a healthy selection of locals who could positively assist the division in relations with the community. I tasked the division’s management team to find a handful of entrepreneurial and politically savvy workers, and hire them as cultural liaisons between the division and the community. At the time I didn’t realize how critical this decision would be.
While I was waiting for my team to hire the new liaisons, I progressed onto what I thought would be the ultimate plan. The structure of our taxes to the local government was simple. The $20 million tax was a flat fee, levied as a form of lease payment for the land that we used. I presumed that I could dangle a progressive tax carrot in front of the local government to change the rules of the game a little. My plan was to ask the local government to front the $8 million needed to improve the water and sanitation for the local community. In exchange for that up payment, I would give them a healthy 10% cut of all after-tax profits in excess of $50 million until they received a total of $10 million. I intended to have our liaisons focus on improving the community’s opinion of the company, while maintaining the view that the local government paid for the improvements. I didn’t want to set the precedent of our division paying for capital improvements to the local community, for fear of an annual conscription being dedicated to that cause.
All I can say is; I am damn glad that we hired those liaisons before I put the preceding plan into action. I completely misjudged the characteristic of the local environment. My liaisons keyed me into a few pertinent facts. For starters, the local government did not have the $8 million to take care of the improvements that the community was requesting. Secondly, regardless of the wording of the deal, the local government would have balked if we started progressive tax payments one year and then tried to rescind those payments after the $10 million goal was reached. Finally, without having any association to the sanitary improvements, the local community’s opinion of our company would not improve at all. I would have removed the temporary obstacle of the peaceful protests in exchange for higher taxes, and we would still be viewed as outsiders.
I spent a week trying to immerse myself in local culture and customs through lunches and dinners with our newly hired liaisons (time was short). While I didn’t consider myself an expert on traditional rituals or history, after that week I had a much better appreciation for how our division could work in harmony with the local government and community.
The plan that we created went as follows: Our liaisons were personally connected with many officials in the local government. Through their personal relationships, we learned that the government would respond quickly to a public challenge to match funds for the sanitary improvements. Since the local government did not maintain surplus funds from taxation, the plan was to ask for matching funds in the form of a tax cut to the corporation. Our division would then spend the matched funds on local improvements (in the name of the government). While the liaisons assisted our PR department in crafting a local campaign to issue the challenge, I worked with our accountants to free up some assets to back the challenge.
The prior year’s assessment of our physical plant had revealed that much of the capital equipment in our mining process was decades old. At the time, we used an archaic effluent treatment procedure to separate waste material from rocks potentially containing valuable ore. This outdated procedure was 70% slower than modern techniques, and dumped a considerable amount of silt into a local river. While the silt was harmless to humans, it had an aesthetically undesirable muddying affect. There was also the long-term issue of the silt collecting in the river near our plant. Every three years we would have to have the river dredged just so we could continue operations.
Replacing the old process with a modern solution would cost $20 million dollars and take several years to fully implement. No one in the chain of management that preceded me had a long-term commitment to this division, and therefore, they applied capital improvements to areas that would yield faster results.
With the end of the year rapidly approaching, I realized that we could publicly commit to this capital improvement without booking any of the charges to the current fiscal year. By tying this capital improvement to the fund-matching challenge, we could get the local government to free up some of our tax money for other sanitary improvements. Best of all, the investment would increase our productivity, and the amortized cost could be spread out over a 10 year period.
Our liaisons helped us to design a powerful publicity campaign to chide the local government into the fund-matching plan. The liaisons knew the right tone to take with each local medium (e.g. TV, radio, newspapers, and community meetings). Within an extremely short period of time, the local government was making counter proposals publicly to call our bluff. The timing was perfect, as we had just received approval for the new effluent treatment plan. The rest is history. We presented the new effluent treatment plan to the public, and the government followed through with the matched funds (in the form of a tax cut).
The protest quickly subsided. My division was able to pull their numbers up to 92% of goal, which resulted in a healthy increase in bonuses. Within three years, the new process was fully implemented and the group was running a full 30% more efficiently than with the old process. Our relationship with the local community and government improved dramatically. We had created a precedent for reduced taxes and community improvements. Since such a large percentage of the local community worked for us, it was often possible to find ways to improve our infrastructure while benefiting the community. In the end, we had a more profitable and more stable division simply by becoming better integrated with the local community.
Of course now that everything is running smoothly I am starting to look for new places to grow. My kids are getting old enough that I want to bring them back to the States for school, and my success here has opened up some new opportunities at the head-office. I will probably move on to a new post soon. Looking back, I see what a great learning experience working in this environment was. I hope that whatever path my life follows next will prove at least as challenging.
I read this essay and wondered if it was a joke. The essay attempts to craft the answer in a fictional narrative, but instead depicts the writer as insensitive and thoughtless—the antithesis of the characteristics that Tuck is seeking. The fact that this candidate mentions “pay the military to crush the protests” as a potential option offers a window of insight into his character. Other tongue-in-cheek, colloquial expressions such as “nepotism can be a bitch,” “sweeten the pot,” and “call our bluff” are apparently meant to be humorous, but instead depict the applicant as immature—somewhere between not serious and ridiculous. This candidate’s solution for the mining dilemma is based on forming a liaison with the local government to “chide the local government into the fund-matching plan”—not a very realistic or creative solution, and one that shifts the negotiations from the GM to the liaison. The essay concludes with the message that now that the problem is solved, he will be moving on, likely back to the United States and a new, advanced post. Throughout his essay, this potential candidate presents himself as not serious, vulgar, flip, arrogant, and uncommitted.
Business leaders often come across different situations with an ethical dilemma being involved. Successful leader should be able to find or to create a new choice not obvious at first sight. Besides, leader should consider ethics as a part of the equation, as an aspect of the management process.
First of all, we should identify the stakeholders. They are my team, local communities, ruling dictatorship and my company shareholders. My ultimate goal is to find an ethical and mutually beneficial solution.
In general, I see the three variants of possible action:
My first variant is to address the needs of local community by giving the money required for satisfying their needs. In this case I’m giving up the interests of my team. In fact, our excellent results this year became possible only due to our team spirit and emotional momentum built. In other words, I should do my best to satisfy my team. In fact, an esprit de corps is at stake. Besides, there is a great risk that talented employees left without appropriate incentives will leave the company for job that pays better probably in another country. This in its turn will lead to lower profits next year.
The second variant is to ignore the interests of local community and pay the bonuses to the team. But our business cannot exist without local community that is the source of workforce for the company. Moreover, our company is the part of local social environment. Ignorance of the local needs will break the harmony of our business “ecosystem.” Tension will grow and our operations will become less efficient or even impossible as a result.
My third option is to decline the tax imposed by the government or to dispute the amount to be paid. However, these solutions may turn out to be dangerous both for me and for the company’s property. In this case, the ruling military dictatorship is likely either to cancel the contract or to hamper the progress of our business.
To make the right decision and elaborate an action plan as well as plan of communication with all parties involved, let us consider all pros and cons.
It is usually very difficult to change the rules of team compensation in a large multi-national company. For instance, [Company A] in Russia alone profits more than U.S. $50 million per year, which is less than 1% of the company’s total net profit. Certainly, nobody will change the corporate compensation policy if local team doesn’t meet the goal. Having U.S. $8 million paid to communities, I can try to save the team bonus but company management will hardly compromise with me. Though there is a small probability of such an outcome. Anyway, there are two options: either team receives bonus or not. Keeping in mind my strategy to avoid dilemmas, I have to retain the profit level required for the bonus to be paid. If all this fails and my efforts turn out to be in vain, I will resort to the company’s management so that the problem could be approached as an exception to the company’s rules.
With just bare figures in mind, not paying money for the local needs looks very attractive. In Russia for instance, corporate management style today is far from ethical. As recently as two or three years ago there was a miner’s camp in front of Russian Government House. In such a way mines workers protested against delays in wage payments which exceeded twelve month. This particular example shows that ethical dilemmas in Russia are often being resolved not in favor of ethics. Being a well-educated and intelligent person I understand very well that such social unconsciousness is one of the main problems of developing Russia. I don’t want to seem cynical, but probably being ethical pays back and no doubt gives chance to sleep better. That’s why I need to do my best to satisfy the demands of local community because that’s my duty as a member of prospering society.
Turning back to our problem, I want to emphasize that there are lots of ways to be socially conscious without paying U.S.$8 million right now. People have been waiting for help for a long time why won’t they wait for one more quarter? The good idea is negotiating with community leaders the donations plan that will assume not lump, but monthly or quarterly payments effective from the next quarter. Acting this way I’m securing my team bonuses and achieve ethical balance and harmony in the business “ecosystem.” At the same time it is crucial to persuade management and shareholders that local communities should be supported to provide an effective business process of an enterprise.
To rebel against draconian taxes is not as absurdly as it may seem at first sight. Actually it is the local authorities that should take care of the people. I don’t want to say that tax should not be paid, but it is necessary to discuss the purposes of the subsequent spending of the money collected. In fact, such close interaction with the government should be a part of our integration into the local social life. Being a part of the area infrastructure that gives jobs and contributes to the country’s budget we have the right to influence the funds allocation. In developed countries this right is usually exercised by lobbying but under military dictatorship the only way to do this is to make a deal with the dictator.
Satisfying the local needs by the government is the most desired outcome. We have killing argument to use in our speech: we can raise the dictatorship’s reputation. All we have to do is to declare that the dictatorship demonstrates exemplary social consciousness with respect to its people. This declaration will be heard as we have an authority recognized in the World community.
To summarize all said above, I see the following action plan:
First of all, I’ll try to convince the government to take financial responsibility for local demands using the arguments discussed. Partial compensation of local needs is also good deal because it’ll give us time—at least couple of quarters. If it fails, I will resort to the second step.
The second step is negotiation with local leaders aiming at postponing of our financial help. I can also propose different “indirect” compensations for local community. I can create more jobs for local people by opening new departments, for instance, local company for our mining machinery services. I can found joined committee for local area development that will be financed not only by our company but also by the government, and different international funds. I can implement new technologies of water and air purification for the region using the experience of our other branches worldwide.
If all this doesn’t work, I’ll try to obtain the bonus from the company on exceptional basis assuming that we are giving the money to satisfy the demands of the society.
After all, if all my efforts are in vain I’ll pay the bonus to my team because first of all I’m the leader of the team and its normal functioning is my responsibility given by my management and shareholders.
This essay suffers from a host of problems. The candidate demonstrates an unrealistic assessment of the situation and his abilities. If the writer’s initial plan, which involves delay tactics, doesn’t work, he states, “I’ll pay the bonus to my team.” Statements such as “keeping in mind my strategy to avoid dilemmas,” “not paying money for the local needs looks very attractive,” “probably being ethical pays back and no doubt gives chance to sleep better,” and “People have been waiting for help for a long time why won’t they wait for one more quarter?” present a character who is incapable of solving problems, unethical, and insensitive.
Question: Please give us an example of when you exhibited creativity in a personal or professional setting. Please describe your thoughts and actions. (500-800 words)
“We have a perceptual problem around efficacy,” said the packaged goods company president. It was my first day on a new assignment for their hair thickening product, and he was explaining that their launch had been followed by a year of flat sales. “Although the product has clinically-proven efficacy, centuries of snake oil salesmen have created incredible skepticism in the market.” His challenge: redefine efficacy to distance ourselves from “potions and lotions” and increase market share.
After a month of brainstorming ways to convey efficacy, we conducted one-on-one interviews to test our ideas. Man after blading man expressed angst over his hair problems, but none of them had done anything more advanced than the combover. “You see, we need to convince them there’s a product good enough to warrant doing something,” the president said.
I was not convinced. The more we tweaked the message to stress clinical efficacy, the more we had to caveat it to satisfy the FDA; the more we touted real results, the more we sounded like a late-night Infomercial. In my mind, we were just undermining our own efficacy message. We needed to find another angle to attack this problem.
While the client continued testing messages, I took a week to reflect and explore. Looking for insights, I studied [Company A]’s success, learned the psychology of plastic surgery, and read a history of hair color marketing in The New Yorker. It was in the article that I found an inspiration, for it described how [Company B] refocused its marketing on emotional rather than physical benefits—hence the tag line “Why? Because I’m worth it!” Reflecting on this example, it occurred to me that perhaps we were focused too much on what was going on top of men’s heads, and not enough on what was going on inside them.
Curious to explore this further, I recruited a psychologist specializing in body image to review the interview transcripts with me at my office. What we uncovered was surprising—almost all men have high levels of concern when they first notice their hair thinning. However, over a short period of time, their concern fades due to internal acceptance, external reinforcement of worth (“honey, I love you just the way you are”), and general aversion to appearing vain. As a result, most men are resigned to their fate before they have time to do any serious exploration of options.
With this information, I reframed the question from “how do we redefine efficacy” to “how do we get men to act before apathy sets in.” To answer this question, I used existing research to develop a quantitative, visual description of how men flow through the entire decision process. Along with the decision steps, I showed the most frequently mentioned reinforcers or blockers of action at each step in the process.
Although this system dynamics approach is typically used for complicated industrial problems, it was perfect for this puzzle. First, it made it simple to see the apathy cycle we had identified. Second, it highlighted that men who broke the cycle most often did so because of the encouragement of a friend, not the existence of effective products. Third, it showed that the overwhelming benefit to men who had acted was a sense of control—regrowing hair was an aspiration, but taking control was their inspiration.
These findings suggested three important steps. First, we had to reach men before they became apathetic. Second, we had to assure them it was “normal” to do something about hair thinning. And third, we had to emphasize that taking action was taking control. To bastardize [Company B]—“Why? Because it beats sitting back like a defeated old man!”
When I shared this new interpretation with the president, he understood my earlier skepticism of the efficacy dilemma. Within two months we replaced the efficacy-focused advertising with a new campaign emphasizing the importance of acting early to treat thinning hair, and the associated feeling of control it creates. In addition, we adjusted our media purchases to hit younger men who were early in the recognition to resignation cycle. Finally, we developed a program encouraging existing users to share their experiences with friends.
Through creative approaches to the problem, I drove significant change. At a product level, within a year sales grew by 18% and the average customer age dropped from 33 to 28—a good indicator that we were driving men to act sooner. At a company level, I introduced new tools and disciplines which have been successfully applied to other tough marketing problems. And at a societal level, I helped thousands of men find a better hairstyle than the combover!
This one was fun to read and is a great example of working smarter, not harder. The student’s task seemed like a typical consulting engagement, but he was able to look at an old problem with new eyes. As he phrased it, he “reframed the question.”
Creativity is often thought of as a moment of inspiration; in this case, the candidate accompanied that moment with some impressive follow-through. He hired the right kinds of experts, modeled the decision process of the customer, and adjusted strategy based on his findings. Intuitive leaps are important, but so too is the ability to implement, and this student showed both. Wouldn’t you want him on your team?
Question: Please describe an impact you have had on a group or organization.
I joined the Board of Directors of [Company A] in 2001 for a two-year term. [Company A] is a non-profit treatment, education and research center that provides traditional Chinese medicine health care to approximately 700 people each month. Most of the center’s clients are low-income or homeless and suffer from life-threatening illnesses such as Hepatitis C, HIV, AIDS—and Cancer. The medical attention that people receive at [Company A] supplements the traditional treatments they receive and allays the severe side effects that accompany such treatments.
When I joined, [Company A] was in a dire financial situation. California’s budget for AIDS research had been slashed and the public funding that had provided 45% of the organization’s budget in 2000 would only cover 20% in 2001, at the same level of operation.
As a Board member, I focused on development, with the goal of ensuring the organization’s long-term success. My first action was to identify and cultivate individuals and foundations capable and likely of meeting the organization’s operating expenses in the short-term. After developing a list of potential investors and in collaboration with the Executive Director and founder, I developed a three-year $400,000 proposal to the California Endowment to fund ongoing initiatives.
As is the case with many community-based nonprofit organizations, the staff and board at [Company A] were unaccustomed to tailoring a pitch for their programs and had an opportunistic approach to fundraising. They had never had the bandwidth to aggressively seek funding and were unable to communicate about their work with people who weren’t already familiar with Chinese medicine. With little background in the subject, I was especially sensitive to this tendency and set out to remedy it. I led an informal media and communications training for the Board to help them craft the pitch for their work and develop the proposal for [Endowment A]. The training I conducted generated incredible momentum around fundraising and jumpstarted the Board of Directors. If the proposal we developed is approved, this funding will support [Company A] after my term has expired. If not, the process of developing a pitch and creatively raising funds will still have sparked action on the part of Board members who had long since stagnated in their roles.
At each Board meeting, I update the Board on fundraising progress and lobby for a stronger focus on fund development in this difficult economic climate. Ancillary conversations with individual Board members have ensued and I finally am seeing the results. Raising funds has become a focus for the board and long-term funding strategy has become a reality during my tenure. Since I’ve given them communication tools and encouragement, the Board has taken on aspects of fundraising from which they had previously shied away. Surprisingly enough, the work has become more fun as well—we have rallied around the common goal of raising money for [Company A]’s important work. In this situation, I am most proud of the fact that my impact is going beyond the immediate task at hand and is actually affecting behavioral change.
My work has also led to bringing back to life a nascent Cancer support program. The staff at [Company A] had never developed a long-term project with measurable impacts and needed guidance in order to sustain a fledgling program. I coached the Executive Director, presented a strategy to the Board, and created a map for a program that now serves cancer survivors in two low-income San Francisco neighborhoods, Bayview and the Mission, where residents have some of the highest rates of Cancer in California and the lowest rates of health care access. To date, the program has served almost 100 people and is receiving significant recognition and support from the Western medical community.
With state funding evaporating and demand for services skyrocketing, [Company A] still is in a difficult situation. I believe that strategically raising funds and developing programs are critical to surviving this challenging time and I’ve made it my mandate to communicate these priorities to the Board of Directors. Despite the fact that I only recently joined the Board and that my experience with Chinese medicine is minimal, I’ve succeeded in making the organization more financially viable and effectively managed.
This essay is a wonderful example of how people can highlight leadership and organizational skills outside their work environment. So often, applicants think of community service as a box to be checked rather than a chance to really show their stuff.
It’s clear in this essay that the applicant cares deeply about the work of the group, but she doesn’t spend a lot of time just talking about that; she takes us through a compelling situation and describes how her actions had an impact. We always ask ourselves, Would this situation have turned out differently if the applicant wasn’t there? The answer in this case is an obvious yes. She also does a very good job of focusing on the context of the situation—the challenges faced by the organization, the ambiguity inherent in cross-cultural situations—without being accusatory. This is impressive.
I’d ask all applicants to look at how succinctly this candidate describes the situation and how much time she devotes to articulating her process. Our job as admissions officers is to search for the “how” behind the “what,” and this student made the “how” very clear. You can easily imagine her leading another organization to enhanced success.
Question: Describe an ethical dilemma and how you resolved it.
Within the past year I faced a situation where I had to quickly decide whether to compromise my ethics to aid my company in its attempt to win a much-coveted new business pitch. My decision not only impacted me, but also my colleagues, and could, quite possibly, have impacted my company’s reputation and revenue.
An understanding of the context and pressures involved best sets the stage for my quandary. My healthcare communications company performs project-based services for pharmaceutical clients. As such, we often participate in new business pitches where our team will present our thinking, strategies, and concepts to the potential client with the goal of winning the business. Preparation for these pitches is intense, involving many hours spent researching the product and its market, analyzing the competitive landscape and unique product issues, brainstorming strategies and tactics to meet the identified needs, crafting creative concepts, and rehearsing for the presentation itself. All the above are typically done within two weeks leading to a one- to two-hour pitch. In essence, a pitch is a high-intensity event where my team is challenged to create the most innovative solutions and present in a way that wows the client, outclasses the competition, and secures additional income for the company.
I discovered competitive intelligence at a pitch purely by chance. While the client took a break and we set up in the room, I discovered our two competitors’ pitch binders on a chair. Pitch binders traditionally include a company’s strategies, tactics, and, more importantly, a proposed budget for the client’s consideration. Herein lay my dilemma.
My quandary was this: should I a) quickly peruse the competitors’ pitch binders, allowing me to then tailor my own team’s presentation, thereby gaining a competitive advantage, or b) leave the binders untouched, ignore the opportunity availed, and trust in my team’s strengths to win the pitch and beat the competition? With my colleagues shortly aware of what caught my attention, the temptation and pressure to peruse the competitive binders heightened.
I faced a dilemma in a situation that did not afford lengthy consideration. I had to make a firm decision quickly and convince my colleagues of the ethics of the decision, whichever path I chose. In the end, I determined to act upon my basic instinct that it was unfair and ethically wrong for my team to review the competitors’ pitch materials. I made a decision I was ethically comfortable with and my faith in our capabilities and strategies for the client won over the temptation of an easy assist. With my internal ethical conflict decided, how then to convince my colleagues not to peruse the binders themselves?
My next challenge was to state my own personal stance and call upon the ethics of my teammates to make similar decisions. Not only was I one of six presenters, but I was also not the most senior individual. My superior could have made a different decision, which would carry more weight and sway my colleagues. I therefore determined to convince my superior of the merits of my decision to create a strong voice with the team. By acknowledging the temptation, yet clearly stating my thought process and the questionable ethics, I successfully convinced my superior and the rest of the team followed our lead and concurred. I left the binders where I found them, reassured the team that we could and would win the pitch unaided, and proceeded with the presentation as planned when the client returned.
In the end, my team prevailed in winning the business—without the assistance of a peek at the competitions’ materials. I have never questioned my decision, and aspire to adhere to my ethics in the future as well as I did in this situation. Had we not won the business, I would still be confident that my actions and those of my team were both ethical and fair.
The Rutgers Business School graduate admission process does not, in general, require an interview. Therefore, the essay takes on an even greater importance by providing the admissions committee with the opportunity to obtain a sense of the applicant’s writing and critical thinking skills. At the same time, it offers the applicant an opportunity to showcase those talents.
The term “business ethics” was once considered an oxymoron. In today’s business environment the exact opposite is true, and companies, as well as graduate programs, are looking for individuals with strong ethical and moral character. Our essay topic is by choice very broad. We are looking for not only the identification of the ethical dilemma, but also the candidate’s reasons for choosing this particular example and the resolution of the problem.
The candidate in this example faced the age-old dilemma regarding the potential acquisition of competitive intelligence. In business, does the end always justify the means? Is winning the only important criterion, regardless of the cost? Clearly, for this individual, the answer was no. In making that decision, she also exhibited a strong faith in her product, her company, and the presentation skills of her colleagues and herself. This is particularly important to our program, which demands team presentations and cooperative efforts throughout the MBA.
The applicant also offered a glimpse into her leadership skills, another area that we consider important in the review process. After making her own decision as to the proper way to proceed, she also had to convince her senior colleague and the rest of her team to follow suit. This took courage and conviction, strengths that will serve her well in our rigorous program.
We also evaluate the writing skills of the candidate. Business communication is an important skill and a required element of our MBA program. This individual wrote succinctly and on-topic without overembellishment, abilities that will be appreciated by both professors and employers.
Question: Describe an ethical dilemma and how you resolved it.
One of the first lessons I learned as a consultant is to maintain the integrity of the client-consultant relationship. The relationship is a fragile one, with the client revealing the inner workings of their operations, politics, and strategies to perfect strangers. While client confidentiality rules are most times clear cut, maintaining client integrity becomes a bit more complex when the client is your own firm.
Upon graduation from [College A] in 1998, I sought to apply my economics degree and math minor in a challenging business position. I accepted a position at [Company B]’s Economic Analysis Group (EAG) in [Location C], the global headquarters for [Company B]’s transfer pricing practice. Transfer pricing is the economic principle that exploits differences in global corporate tax rates to maximize profit within multinational corporations. My role as a research analyst was to assist in justifying the prices charged across borders among subsidiaries of large multinationals and maximizing global corporate profits within the rules of global tax laws.
The EAG was a relatively small group by [Company B]’s standards, and communication was very open among the 40 professionals. It was tradition to circle the large boardroom table every Friday morning during staff meetings to share tales of complex transfer pricing issues. Most managers and partners paid little attention to the analysts as they described their projects. Six months into my tenure, however, the managers and partners began to look up from their scribbles and notes and pay close attention when it came my turn to speak. They all knew that I had been assigned a highly sensitive and “secret” project—one that directly affected their compensation.
I joined [Company B] at an interesting time in the firm’s history. [Company B] and [Company D] had already announced their split, but the corporate divorce had only recently made it into arbitration. [Company B] was looking to get as much money as possible for grooming [Company D] into the firm that it had become. I became part of that unique firm history when I was assigned my most delicate project—valuing the historic split between [Company B] and [Company D].
The project itself was not much different than other transfer pricing studies that I had performed. What was different, however, was the secretive nature of the assignment. Only one manager and I knew the details of the engagement in the [Location C] office. I was instructed by the legal department in [Location E] not to discuss the matter with anyone, especially the partners within the firm.
The [Company B] partners had a personal interest in the outcome of the split. One global partner in particular, [John], was extremely interested in the effect of my research on his compensation. I had worked with [John] on multiple projects before, and by nature he was a challenging and persistent individual. During informal meetings in his office for client work he would make a passing joke or question about my secret research. For the most part these comments were easy to brush off. That all changed, however, once we left the office for a client trip.
Soon after I was assigned to the [Company B] split, I was asked to go on a client visit with [John]. Our goal was to visit the headquarters of a new client, a pharmaceutical delivery systems manufacturer in [Location F]. The client’s transfer pricing issues were challenging and included valuing and shifting ownership of their intellectual property to a lower tax jurisdiction in [Location G]. This was my first on-site client trip and our goal was merely to collect facts from top management as we started the valuation process.
The train ride to [Location F] was pleasant enough. We conducted our business at the client and the interviews went extremely well. [John] even complimented me on how prepared I was and how I handled myself. Halfway through the trip home, however, [John] cornered me on the firm split, directly asking me about the details of my special research. My face turned bright red and my stomach dropped.
I initially ignored his question and tried to change the subject. He persisted and asked me to be a “team player”. I responded firmly, “[John], I am not allowed to divulge client information ever, regardless of whom the client is. You know that. If you have any specific questions about this research, please ask [Mike] (the director of the tax practice in [Location B]).” He was a bit stunned, but sat back and was quiet the rest of the way home.
I was nervous about how terse I had been with a partner. I was still relatively new to the firm and was already working with [John] on several projects. Upon my return, I spoke with the manager whom I was working with on the split. She shared with me [John]’s persistence in questioning her on the same issues. She commended me on my response and told me not to worry about [John]. Her counsel turned out to be true. [John] didn’t get any easier to work with, but he did cease the constant pestering regarding my research on the split.
Looking back, I am proud of how I handled myself in that difficult situation. I set my own ethical precedent that integrity is essential in my professional life. Overall, this challenge has helped me mature and develop strong interpersonal skills in difficult business situations. I continue to build on this lesson in my interactions with clients and internal consulting teams.
The essay often plays a key role in the application review process. Applicants have the opportunity to showcase their skills in both writing and critical thinking. A well-written, well-conceived essay that both stays on point and offers a unique story can clearly enhance the applicant’s potential for an offer of admission.
Our essay topic asks the candidate to define “ethical” from his or her own perspective; determine whether a particular incident or experience was, in fact, a dilemma; describe the thought processes that were used in resolving the issue; and identify that final solution.
The applicant in this example was faced with a number of challenges and articulated them very well. He was young and relatively inexperienced when this incident took place. However, despite his youth, he was in a position of access to sensitive, confidential information that was desired and of great personal importance to more senior members of his firm who could have a direct impact upon his future with the company. Should he use his newly found “chip” to better his own position and cross the ethical line, or should he maintain his own level of ethical behavior and risk a professional backlash?
In a concise, well-written, thoughtful essay, this candidate clearly described the thought processes he utilized in making his decision and the options that he considered. The ethical boundaries that the applicant maintained in a challenging situation identified him as the type of individual who would be a very successful MBA candidate and the type of future business leader needed in these uncertain times.
Question: Please submit an essay describing what you learned from your experience as a member of a team whose project was not completed successfully.
I took the job of Chief Technology Officer with a growing investment firm, as opposed to one that is fully established, in order to take part in the design of the business. With the company in its nascent stages, many processes were still developing, and my newest undertaking was no different. My task was to design an efficient procedure for creating “Wealth Plans.” These plans are the trademark of the firm, and remain its best sales tool. At that time, however, they took up to a month to prepare, and each one was different in content and design. These factors made the recognition factor negligible at best, and made the design a start-from-scratch process with the commencement of each and every plan.
Having seen these plans convince clients that our firm was their best choice, I recognized the value of their prompt and thorough completion. These plans are expansive; covering everything from the clients’ investment profiles to their tax and insurance needs, and the majority of developmental delays stemmed from a lack of organization and permanent design within these modules. I would take the best parts from all previous plans, put them together in an intelligent format, and streamline the process. Looking back, it seemed simple at the time.
Originally, I had started the project on my own, and, quickly, I realized that my skills alone would not suffice. My talents as Chief Technology Officer were up to the task of programming and spreadsheet design, but I learned that expertise is not valuable in a vacuum. Without assistance from other professionals, the plans would be quite lacking in terms of content outside of my proficiency. If each module had been complete, my earlier assumptions of fast closure would have been justified. Unfortunately, not only the content as a whole differed in each instance, but the actual formulas and design of individual modules changed almost randomly from plan to plan, as well. I noted the content and flaws of each module, prepared a summary and an action plan, and took them to my supervisor.
We assembled a team consisting of a CPA, a portfolio manager, an MBA, and me (a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer) for the task of establishing plan design and protocol. Our first meeting produced a schedule for completion, an outline of what we thought would be appropriate content for each module, and the decision that would ensure our failure—our steadfast focus on function over form. By concentrating fully on the function of the plans, we ignored the pitfall of oversophistication that would have frustrated most clients.
We progressed quickly as the members contributed individually to the overall proposal and directed the design of any modules that fell under their bailiwick. As the technology guru, it was my duty to translate the ideas and needs of each section into workable spreadsheets and programs. Though intricate in design, each instance would be simple to complete and identical in order and design to the plans of other clients. While recommendations and exceptions would always be unique to a specific client’s situation, the majority of the plan now only required simple data entry on the part of our employees.
With the finished program loaded on our server, we were ready to present our accomplishment. However, wanting to recoup time spent in development of this project, we decided to take it directly to our firm’s sales team for use. Upon completion of the first plan (finished in five hours instead of a month), I had been ready to celebrate our success amid smiles and a few free beers. To our surprise, we were met with the sales team’s look of confusion.
We failed to remember that these plans are first and foremost a sales tool. The plan itself was flawless, and we showed everyone the amazing leaps in creativity and utility that had been made. But, unless you had been working on it for a month with the experts who devised each module, I truly doubt you would be able to comprehend it. To the sales team, this was 20–30 pages of overly analytical, unnecessarily complicated material that would confuse our clients instead of closing deals. We had developed the plan with our own needs in mind and had ignored its true audience.
Stepping outside of the confines of a project, job, or even an industry is essential to true progress and a proper perspective. The sales team and I spent another two weeks enlarging the fonts, rewording jargon, and adding a bouquet of colorful graphs. We ended up with a plan that was just as technical, but far more suitable to our clients. I had thought our progress and teamwork to be remarkable, and, if we had originally focused them in the right direction, they would have been. While I learned that you need to keep your audience in mind at every step, another important lesson was that of goal setting.
We started with the objective of streamlining the production of plans. In hindsight, it would have been more intelligent to first finalize the design of the plans in terms of their end goal—bringing in new clients. Intelligent people who are willing to work hard and well are not enough to ensure success. Without a solidly thought out purpose, long term setbacks increase, and, without leadership, that purpose cannot be determined.
Identification of a successfully designed and implemented plan or project is generally simple for the business professional, faculty member, current student, or hopeful applicant. However, such a task can be difficult when asked to identify an experience that did not conclude as intended.
This essay question demands honesty and introspection. It also gives members of the admissions committee an opportunity to evaluate the applicant’s attitude toward working on teams, an important component of the Rutgers Business School MBA program.
In a very readable and well-written essay, this candidate gives readers the opportunity to follow him as he assessed a new project, attempted to complete it on his own, and then realized the need to form a team of experts in order to bring the project to conclusion. We are then made aware of the steps that the members of this group took as they reviewed their new assignment, made preliminary evaluations, implemented action plans, and presented their results.
Throughout the essay, the applicant honestly points to errors in thought and process that ultimately lead to the initial lack of success. More importantly, he clearly identifies the new learning that took place and how it was immediately used to redesign the project and meet the needs of the populations for whom it was intended.
The admissions committee believes that the willingness to admit error, learn from initial mistakes, and take corrective actions, along with the critical thinking that also took place, are traits that will assist this candidate throughout the demanding MBA program.
“A great essay? Much like a great MBA candidate, a great essay is the right combination of excitement, interest, knowledge, focus, and ability. Essays are but one window into the person that will walk the halls of the business school for a couple of years and wear the distinction of being a Tulane alumnus for life.
“The Freeman School at Tulane is a very special place. Consequently, we are not looking for well-rounded candidates; we look for unique people that have special abilities. Here a group of about 100 students are divided into teams providing international representation from several geographies, different economic and political hemispheres, and different academic arenas. The interaction between these groups, combined with the academic challenge, is the foundation to the Freeman MBA. It is a core experience that will change the way in which one views the world.
“The Tulane MBA is all about changing the student’s worldview, while equipping the individual to make decisions. Tulane students start the MBA program by learning great interaction and trusting skills.
“Tulane’s team structure, in an intensive core program, builds on the diversity presented in the MBA class to shape a unique MBA experience. I bring up this point because it is insight into how one can deal with other people, cultures, and ideas that the most recent Freeman School essay considers:
Describe one person that has made a profound impact on your life. What skills did that person possess? How did others react to this person? What has been the outcome of your experience with this person?
“This is not your typical ‘tell me about yourself’ question. We enjoy a lot of information about the applicant including resume, references, and transcripts. Frankly, we could probably tell applicants a lot about themselves that they don’t know. However, the point of an admission application is to assure that you will benefit from the experience and that the group (peers) will benefit from your presence.
“We look for an applicant that can learn from the experience of another. Central to learning from another individual is the ability to recognize strengths, skills, and weaknesses. Interestingly, these skills also translate to management skills as one seeks to understand the needs of an organization—and build a coalition of people to achieve success.”
During my tenure at [Company A], I had the opportunity to work with and learn from the company’s senior executive, [James]. Inside the structure of a small firm, I was able to work closely with [James] on a daily basis and experience his management style.
[James] and I have very similar backgrounds and a similar outlook towards life. Although I am younger than [James], our lives have followed a very similar path. We both grew up in the same town, attended the same high school, and both went to [College C]. From our similar background and outlook, I was able to capitalize on [James’s] management experiences and learn a management style that suited my own values and utilized my attributes.
Three principles from [James’s] management philosophy have had a great impact on the development of my management abilities. The first and most frequently stressed principle was the necessity to never allow oneself to lose sight of the larger picture. The second principle was that a manager’s success depends on how well they are able to utilize their colleagues’ strengths and talents. The third principle was that in order to excel, you must consistently reinvent and improve yourself.
While working at [Company A], I dealt daily with the analytical side of commercial mortgage backed securitizations. In my role it was very easy to become overly focused on the technical side of a project and forget the project’s overall purpose. Early in my career I had a habit of becoming too focused on a particular issue in the securitization process and would not be able work past the issue until I had it solved. After a few frustrating weeks of spending nearly all day and night in the office in order to meet simple deadlines, I met with [James] to discuss my dilemma. [James’s] approach was simple and quickly became part of my decision making process. His approach was to step back from the technical dilemma, look at the project as a whole and ask, “Does this provide value to the client?”. This simple question helped direct me toward the issues that mattered the most instead of wasting time on the details that were insignificant to the outcome. [James]’s big picture outlook also stressed the importance of a proper work/family balance. Even while committing himself to running the company, [James] never forgot the importance of quality family time. With the proper balance, he was able to spend significant time at work and still devote himself to the raising of his family. The family values that were demonstrated at [Company A] showed me that it is possible to find the delicate balance between work and family time.
Another one of [James’s] strengths was his ability to draw from his colleagues’ strengths and talents. There were multiple ways that [James] utilized his employees’ talents, but there were two ways that I found particularly valuable. The first was his belief that there was only so much that could be learned from training and watching others. Under [James’s] direction at [Company A], employees gained a substantial amount of authority very early in their career. His belief was that after a certain level of fundamental training, the best way to truly learn the process was to go into the field and implement the process for the client. He had a theory that if he hired good employees, they would be able to figure out the details on their own as long as he taught them the fundamentals. The [Company A] employee had substantial authority over client interaction and the final product sent to the investors. The second belief was that in order to create a stronger company, he needed to make his employees well rounded. He wanted to expose his employees to as many different situations as possible in order to find out where their talents lay. If you were interested in a different part of the securitization process, [James] tried to let you have as much exposure to it as possible. For example, when I told [James] that I would benefit from more exposure to the investment banking side of the securitization process, he contracted me out to a client in New York. He rented an apartment in [Location B] and I spent a winter working with a large investment bank learning how a deal was run from a banking perspective.
The third principle that I learned from [James] was the need for continuous self-improvement. His theory was that self-improvement was a critical factor in being successful. At [Company A] there was typically a week or two of downtime when work was slow after the end of each quarter. [James] devoted these four to eight weeks per year to training. He implemented case studies. Employees were expected to run through difficult business deal scenarios in order to sharpen their skills. Employees were encouraged to enroll in real estate training classes via the Internet. On a one to one basis, [James] enjoyed teaching employees about different aspects of the industry and about the results of his most recent revelation. No questions were considered too basic to be asked and he made sure that there was always an atmosphere where employees felt comfortable enough to walk into his office to ask a question.
[James’s] patience and professionalism earned the respect of both clients and employees. His ability to give employees substantial authority and recognition resulted in a stronger team that produced a high level of success.
Both my work related and personal decision making skills have benefited from my time with [James]. Whenever I face a decision, I am now more thorough in my analysis and pay special attention to how the situation fits into the context as a whole. As a result, my decision-making abilities have not only improved, but I find myself wasting less time on insignificant details and I have gained a more macro level viewpoint. I have been able to employ a similar employee development strategy to [James’s] when I was put in charge of training new analysts in the [Location D] office. The result of the strategy was that the analyst spent a significant portion of their training in the field and was able to gain a much more practical understanding of their role. Finally, I have tried and am currently trying to follow [James]’s example of consistent self-improvement. I held the same principle of self-improvement before I worked for [James], but my time with [James] certainly helped it to grow. Under [James]’s example of self-improvement I have been able to improve both my personal and work related skills. When I wanted to improve my financial skills by enrolling in the Chartered Financial Analyst program, he encouraged me by allowing me to stop traveling for the month prior to the level one and two exams so that I could both work and study out of the [Location E] office. I am fortunate to have had [James] as a mentor. The skills that I have learned from him will forever impact my personal and business life.
Getting it right: This essay illustrates some very strong writing skills, conveys a clear message, and articulates attributes that we look for in a Freeman MBA candidate. The candidate recognizes some clear traits presented by the individual he admires: “never allow oneself to lose sight of the larger picture”; “a manager’s success depends on how well they are able to utilize their colleagues’ strengths and talents”; “consistently reinvent and improve yourself.” Wow—any of these lines would be fitting captions for a motivational poster!
The applicant also recognizes where he fails to measure up to the behaviors presented by the individual—“I had a habit of becoming too focused”; “importance of a proper work/family balance.” The applicant recognizes the perspective of his peers when dealing with them professionally and socially. He further articulates the skills he has learned as a result of his relationship with this person.
While this essay is clearly structured around a person that has shaped the applicant’s professional life and attitudes, it does an excellent job of conveying the applicant’s ability to recognize some core skills that will be very useful in an intensive MBA experience like the one offered at the Freeman School.
One person that has made a profound impact on my life is my former manager, [John Brown]. I had the opportunity to work with [John] as he preferred to be called for fifteen months; and his personal and professional skills made a huge impression on me. I adopted him as my mentor. [John] holds a Bsc. in Electrical Engineering, and an MBA from [Country A].
[John’s] tenacity of purpose and determination to succeed against all odds saw him overcome an earlier setback of three failures, before passing the entry examination into the university for his undergraduate studies. [John] taught us to take failure as a learning experience. [John] was honest in his dealings with both colleagues and subordinates. He was continuously seeking the welfare of his subordinates much to the annoyance of his colleague managers.
[John] had excellent negotiation skills, and was very adept at bringing others to his point of view. He had an extraordinary level of drive and energy—devoted equal time to the minutest detail; he have memo drafted several times to correct all the mistakes. [John] always considered various options before making a decision—he always explored the “what ifs” of all alternative decisions. His final decisions were ultimately guided by the interest of the company with an eye for the bottom line. Occasionally, he would invite us to dinner or lunch after a very stressful working time. He made it a point to know each person’s family members by their names and will always inquire about their welfare. He advised us to be innovative and take decisions in his absence, but made it a point to give him the feedback at the earliest opportunity.
Most staff held him in high esteem, and treated him with a lot of dignity and respect. His opinions were highly respected by top management. It was not surprising that all requests he recommended to top management were approved.
One of the outcomes of my experience with [John] has been my decision to pursue an MBA. He always talked about the impact of MBA experience on his life and career—he fueled my desire to have the MBA experience. I have also realized that hard work, determination, and honesty pay off in the end. Most importantly, I now see failure as a learning experience—it is easier to take risk.
Short but sweet: One essay submission to the Freeman School requires the applicant to provide a true Reader’s Digest version of the topic. In business school, students spend a lot of time learning about the executive summary—a short statement that contains only the pertinent facts. This international student conveys several important management skills in this essay. Equally important, he responds to the essay question completely.
He was born in a small town, in a small country, [Country A], in the 1920s. In those days, the locomotive could still stir excitement among the people, the extended family was still the most important social network, and farming was a way of life. Those were also turbulent days. Once again, civil wars and local generals who vied fiercely for power plagued the country. The [military] would come in and try to impose order, then they would leave, only to come back and leave again. Out of this turmoil emerged the National Guard and its controlling leader, [General B]. Between 1936 and 1979, the country remained under the thumb of the political dynasty established by this general. Civil and political liberties were violated, public graft was practiced with impunity, socioeconomic injustice increased, and in spite of all this, the economy grew and even attained a degree of modernization.
The small town boy, [my grandfather], grew up in this environment. But he grew up to be an honest man of renowned integrity and bravery. He defied the [ruling] dynasty and for this he paid a heavy price, enduring imprisonment and humiliation at the hands of his jailers. Gradually, as it became clear that opposition was futile, he turned away from politics and threw himself into his private work, gaining a reputation throughout [the continent] as a talented administrator and banker. He rescued from ruin some of the largest corporations in the country and made them thrive. He then went on to serve in the upper ranks of the [regional banking authority], helping make the region’s common market a success. As his own professional successes accumulated, he was invited to join the leadership staff of [an international bank], where he played a key role in bringing developmental assistance to [the region].
I am his first grandson, and he is my role model. His shoes are too big to fill, but I will at least try to follow in his footsteps. No other individual has had a more profound impact on my life. I grew up watching this man make difficult choices that others might have avoided because they were too risky or costly from a personal perspective. In 1979, he became involved in the national struggle to overthrow the oppressive [ruling] regime, and soon thereafter left his position at the [international bank] to join the government of the [new political party]. He served as the Revolution’s first president of the [government bank], later became a member of the [leading political party], and later still served as [my country’s] ambassador to the United States. He shared the revolutionaries’ desire for socioeconomic process and justice, but he rejected their political authoritarianism. Acting on principle, he left the [new (leading) political party] government, and returned to development banking. I respect and admire that.
By 1983 there was much discontent with the ruling government within [my country] and there was international pressure for the [new (leading) political party] to hold free elections. My grandfather was chosen to be the presidential candidate for the opposition, which was fully backed by the United States. As the campaign began, so did negotiations with the [competing party] for free and transparent elections, something my grandfather had always dreamt for [my country]. The more he campaigned around the country, the larger the masses grew and the faster his popularity rose. He also became a serious threat for the ruling party. The [competing party] sabotaged his campaign by inciting violent mobs wherever he went. His supporters would attempt to fight off the mobs to no avail, and on one occasion a mob leader managed to injure my grandfather by throwing a sharpened rock at his forehead. And yet, he pressed ahead in the face of such adversity; and continued to demand conditions that would prevent fraud on Election Day. When these conditions were not met, he decided to stand on principle yet again. He left the race. As a consequence, the [competing party] was victorious at the polls. I respect and admire that.
My grandfather returned to politics when an armed opposition movement formed to overthrow [this] regime. Known as the [opposition], this movement needed a person with integrity and public support. My grandfather was that person. He believed in the cause of freedom and accepted to be a member of the [opposition directorate]. But he soon grew disenchanted with the [opposition] leaders, whom he found to be intolerant and whose methods he found questionable. “Abuse of power,” he often would say to us kids “is wrong, no matter who the abuser is whether is the [new political party] or the [opposition].” He resigned from the [opposition directorate], knowing full well that many would criticize his decision and that some would even malign him. I respect and admire that.
At every critical point, my grandfather could have had power and wealth had he chosen to play along, but instead he chose to do what he felt was the right thing. Countless times during his career in business and politics, he was offered the chance to blur the line between the two for personal gain. He resisted, and kept them separate. And countless times, people who had no power or influence appealed to him directly or through intermediaries for help. He always found the courage to give voice to their grievances. Market women who were left holding worthless currency, political prisoners doomed to rot in jail, poor farmers who had been dispossessed of their tiny plots, mothers whose sons had been wounded in battle and had no prospect of rehabilitation for lack of resources, they all knew him as the man who would listen and respond.
I often meet strangers who, when they realize [who] my grandfather is, tell me how much they relish having met him, or how grateful they are that he helped them without even knowing who they were. When I was younger, I used to wonder why every time my grandfather visited [my country], the media would seek him out and people on the streets would rush to embrace him. Now I know.
Now I also understand that my grandfather’s difficult choices are his legacy to me. In a world filled with political and corporate scandals, I carry this inheritance with deep satisfaction and pride; and in my heart and mind I hear his voice, encouraging me to pursue great professional accomplishments but never at the expense of my own humanity, principles, or honor.
These days, long after the locomotive has been retired to the museum, my grandfather is using a computer to write his political biography. If this book turns out to be only half as powerful as the conversations, the advice, and the stories he gave me when I was growing up, it will be a great book indeed. And when I give this book to my children, I will tell them that I am trying to live according to the standards set by its author. I will tell them this was my grandfather, your forebear, a man who was great yet humble, brave yet wise. I will tell them that we are all at our best when we affirm that such men can still be made.
Missing the mark: It is terribly important to read the question—not only for the idea but to see what the admissions committee is asking. We purposefully imbedded some key words in the essay question to hint at the direction an applicant should take. We wanted “profound impact,” “skills,” “reaction,” and “outcome” to be articulated in the essay response. This essay was a wonderful exposition on a clearly interesting individual; however, the focus of the essay was to convey the life story of the applicant’s grandfather. It is not until the third paragraph that the reader encounters the applicant’s reaction to his grandfather’s actions: “I respect and admire that.” The essay—although beautifully crafted—failed to provide a clear insight into skills that the applicant has learned as a result of his encounter.
Question: If you were a character in a book, who would it be and why? What do you admire most about this character, and how does it relate to you personally and/or professionally? (300 words maximum)
Atticus Finch, as portrayed in Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird, most accurately exemplifies my beliefs and my code of conduct. He embodies a strong moral compass with a composed and firm disposition. Although Atticus seems mellow and even old-fashioned, many of his beliefs are quite revolutionary. He is a hard worker who is an active parent with his children as well as an active member of the community. Raising his children with his own strong sense of morality and justice, he is a strong believer in family. A lawyer by trade, he is a teacher of both his children and his community. Atticus sees people as individuals, regardless of race and background, maintains an open mind to new ideas and thoughts, and teaches through reason rather than force. He is a patient and consistent man. The code of conduct that he maintains for himself remains constant and disciplined no matter how awkward or uncomfortable the situation. His objective is not the pursuit of money and fame, but justice and truth. I respect Atticus Finch for his keen mind, his instincts, his eloquence, and his willingness to stand up to social oppression regardless of overwhelming opposition in what may seem to be a hopeless and futile situation. He is very deliberate and erudite in his actions and knows how to maximize the resources at his disposal to achieve his goals. I admire him for his courage to test the social paradigm and for his willingness to stand up for what he believes is right. Passionate, yet collected and composed, I conduct myself with beliefs which parallel those of Atticus in many respects. Using the resources at my disposal and proactively developing my skills, I work in a calculated manner to attain my future goals professionally and personally.
What makes this essay so effective is its simplicity. Within the first two words of the essay, the reader already has a positive impression of the writer. By identifying Atticus Finch as the literary character he most admires, the writer chooses someone who is easily recognizable and who is known for his strong moral character and social ideals. Before completing the first sentence, the writer has already created a strong impression in the reader’s mind, and the rest of the essay serves to strengthen the association. Remember that this type of essay is designed not to educate the reader on the applicant’s literary knowledge but rather to allow the applicant to create a strong association that illustrates who he or she is as a person.
Question: If you could pick three guests for a formal dinner, who would they be and why would you choose them? (300 words maximum)
If I could pick three guests for a formal dinner party, unconstrained by chronology and mortality, I would pick Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, and Steve Irwin, “The Crocodile Hunter”. Teddy Roosevelt and Winston Churchill have always intrigued me, because apart from their enormous accomplishments in public life, they led fascinating lives beyond the realm of politics—Roosevelt the big game hunter, conservationist, and hero of San Juan Hill; Churchill the soldier, war correspondent, and Nobel Prize winning author. My third guest, the zoo director and television personality Steve Irwin, strikes me as the ideal foil for the two elder statesmen. As an Australian and non-politician, he would strike a balance between these bastions of American and British public life and focus the conversation on the personal experiences that make Roosevelt and Churchill so fascinating. Additionally, Irwin, with his cheerful self-assurance, would not be easily overwhelmed by Roosevelt and Churchill’s domineering personalities.
With this triumvirate, I imagine the conversation moving from Teddy’s tales of his wild game safaris in Africa and the spectacular beauty of the American West, to Winston relating his great escape from the Boer prison camp and his experiences in the British Raj, with Steve Irwin trying to one-up them as he recounts the origins of his various scars and expounds on the art of crocodile wrestling.
While the political careers of Roosevelt and Churchill can, and do, fill volumes, it is impossible to capture on the written page the passion and energy with which these men lived their lives. With this dining combination, I would hope to catch a glimpse of it. I can’t think of a more interesting or remarkable evening than to be regaled by tales from these three exceptional men.
This essay and the essay that follows effectively answer a pretty common essay question. What makes these essays so effective is the way the candidates illustrate one or more elements of their personalities through the people they choose. In both instances, the reader finishes the essay knowing something about the candidates that might not have otherwise been evident in reading their applications. Steve Irwin, Teddy Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill illustrate the first applicant’s thirst for adventure, while the second applicant’s grandmother, political science professor, and John “Buck” O’Neill convey his strong sense of social conscience.
Question: If you could pick three guests for a formal dinner, who would they be and why would you choose them? (300 words maximum)
Guests at my formal dinner would be Robert Booth Fowler, John “Buck” O’Neill, and Harriet Marks. Professor Fowler is a political science professor at the University of Wisconsin—Madison who specializes in the intersection of religion and politics. He was the most passionate, creative, engaging and charismatic instructor that I have ever had. He continues to inspire me to be passionate about what I do, to act always with a determined vigor, and to devote much of my free time to the teaching and training of others.
My second guest, John “Buck” O’Neill, is a former Negro Leagues baseball player and manager who later entered the Major Leagues first as a scout for the Chicago Cubs (signing, among other players, Ernie Banks and Lou Brock), and later as Major League Baseball’s first black coach (with the Cubs, in 1962). He is almost uniquely qualified to provide living testimony regarding the intersection of sports and the history of American racial relations, both of which interest me greatly. If you saw Ken Burns’s documentary on baseball, you undoubtedly recognized Mr. O’Neill and his affable, gracious style, as being the show’s truest star.
Third, I would invite Harriet Marks. Mrs. Marks is my grandmother, who is recently widowed and seems a bit lonely. Although she has never expressed an interest in religion and politics or in American race relations—and has little understanding of baseball—I know that she, more than anyone else, would appreciate the invitation.
Question: What are two attributes of your character that make you unique? How do you expect these traits to make an impact on Chicago GSB and your classmates? (300 words maximum)
Incident number one: it was a sultry August morning in Manhattan. From the 27th floor of the [office] building, the downtown skyline sprawled before us. It was the [Company A] analyst training program, and I was surrounded by a group of highly talented, driven peers from some of the best colleges in the world. We were listening to managing directors tell us wild tales about multi-billion dollar deals they had worked on.
Suddenly the words echoed in my ears. “Have any of you ever been to the god-forsaken state of Iowa?” The room of 250 was silent. My retort practically fell out of my mouth. “Yes, I’m from Iowa!” A huge explosion of laughter and applause. The speaker, a famed “deal maker” from our Mergers & Acquisitions group, turned red. “I am now removing my foot from my mouth,” were his exact words.
Incident number two: I was in my senior year at [University B]. It was mid-December, and Wall Street recruiting season was in full swing. I trudged through the snow along 56th Street to interview with a major securities brokerage firm. To this day, I can still hear my interviewer as he took a final glance over my resume. “[Jenna], you’re very qualified for this job. But one question remains in my mind: what’s a nice girl like you who plays the cello wanna do on a trading floor?”
I have lived as a transplanted Iowan in New York and London for over six years, and I do play the cello. Through all the jokes and befuddled reactions I’ve received, I’ve learned that the most stimulating traits I can bring to a community are a well-rounded background and an open mind. This includes an appreciation and understanding of the rural and the urban, the domestic and the international, the artistic and the mundane. In gaining this appreciation, I’ve realized the overlap between these seemingly antithetic worlds and have come to understand the value of interactive diversity.
What made this essay effective was the candidate’s use of the narrative. Most essays I have come across on this topic read like a laundry list: “My years of consulting experience have provided me with the tools to be an effective team player”; “My years in public relations have really strengthened my communication skills”; and so on. There is no reason to spend time further illustrating things that are already covered in detail in the application. This writer was effective because she decided to focus on two seemingly insignificant parts of her life—playing the cello and being from Iowa. As a reader reviewing her essay, I may have noticed these two things about her, but I certainly would not have associated them with her open-mindedness. By effectively using some simple narratives, she left a lasting impression of what being from Iowa and playing the cello can contribute to an MBA program.
Question: Why are you seeking an MBA or IMBA at the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business? What do you hope to experience and contribute? What are your plans and goals after you receive your degree?
“[Jenna], you must go to the U of C. The faculty, the campus, the whole environment…,” raved F.H., one of my senior associates who happened to attend the GSB at the University of Chicago.
“I know,” I replied. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”
You have some very convincing alumni. However, I do not need much convincing. I have known for quite a while exactly why I want to attend the University of Chicago. Let me begin by providing you with a bit of historical context in which to better understand my motivations.
For the last several years, I have worked as a financial analyst at [Company A] in New York and London. By all accounts, I have excelled in my job. I have been consistently ranked and compensated in the “star” category, was one of only a handful of second year analysts globally to be promoted to a third year position in our London office (most were laid off), and the only analyst in the global investment bank this year to be granted a third year position in our fabled fixed income division. I have also been advised that I am a “shoe-in” for promotion to the associate position. However, I am opting to seek a place at the University of Chicago GSB rather than pursue further promotion within my firm. Why?
As an undergraduate at [University B], I majored in mathematics and reveled in the theory I learned. I subsequently became interested in finance, however it was not part of [University B]’s undergraduate curriculum. I then went to work on Wall Street, but always felt there was a gap in my education. That gap has grown in my mind to the point that I do not want to continue my career without firmly grounding myself in theoretical finance and the other business disciplines.
Given my math background, I want—and indeed need—the analytical rigor of Chicago’s curriculum and the practical and theoretical understanding of finance that it can provide me. While there are many other MBA programs out there, none can match Chicago’s combination of prominence in economics and finance, its legendary faculty (past and present), the flexibility of its curriculum, and its location in a city that is an international business center that has as much to offer culturally as any other in the world.
I am eager to gain exposure to a very diverse and international group of classmates at the University of Chicago, as well as their insight on the industries in which they have worked. I look forward to sharing a dynamic and thought provoking classroom environment with them.
I can offer my classmates a culmination of my solid investment banking background, well-trained and analytical mind, and genuine desire to learn by working with them and forming lasting friendships.
I owe it to myself to continue to seek rewarding challenges in thoughtful and intense environments. I hope to use the knowledge I will have gained at the University of Chicago to go into corporate bond research. That is my future ambition—and an MBA education from the University of Chicago will provide me with the foundation that I need to get there.
Please accept my thanks for your time and consideration. I hope that you will enjoy reading my application as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
This essay demonstrates an effective answer to the “Why an MBA?” and “Why here?” questions. The most common pitfall that people experience when answering this question is that they do not do an effective job answering the “Why here?” question. Applicants need to keep in mind that a university admissions committee wants to know that you are interested in that university specifically and not the five other programs to which you are applying. Convincing the committee that their institution is the best fit for you is critical to answering this essay effectively.
A less common problem is not providing a clear focus for your MBA. A common response I have seen is “An MBA is the next logical step in my career.” A statement like this does not answer the question. Have a clear purpose for why you want an MBA now. How is an MBA going to help you achieve your specific goals? Be clear about your purpose; speaking in generalities is the kiss of death.
The writer of this essay was effective because she was thorough and enthusiastic about why she wanted to go to the University of Chicago, and she was specific about the reasons she thought an MBA was important for achieving her goals. Providing an effective answer to this question is not a complicated procedure as long as you can be specific!
“The admissions essays serve several purposes in the application review process at the Tippie School of Management. Of course, they tell us something about the candidate’s ability to compose an essay. More importantly, the essays help us to know more about the applicant as an individual and to answer questions such as: What really matters to this person? What life experiences will he/she bring to our program? What makes this person ‘tick’?
“Our essay questions are quite straightforward, requesting information about the candidate’s career objectives, purpose in obtaining an MBA, and leadership experiences. The best candidates use these questions as a springboard to provide a more complete picture of themselves. We recognize that not everyone writes like a best-selling author. However, we expect the admission essays to be concise, to be free of errors, and to address the questions posed.
“Two essays are required in our application. Each of the essays below was submitted as part of the application for admission to the fall 2002 entering class and are responses to the following:
Give an example of a situation or an action that describes your potential for success in a professional environment.
“We selected them because each reflects the candidate’s personality, fleshing out our picture of them as a real-life person.”
“You have three qualities that will allow you to be successful in life: persistence, organization, and people skills.”
My mother told this to me when I was young and did not fully appreciate what it meant or why it was important. I just knew that I liked to set goals for myself, have a structured environment, and be around people. Now, after years of experience through work and school, I have a complete understanding of how and why these three things are so important. They will allow me to be successful in any of life’s activities and, in particular, a professional environment.
While working for [Company A], I inherited a territory that was suffering sales-wise. I knew that in order to make an immediate impact, I would have to focus my activity on the doctors and offices that would bring in the most business. One of my most important doctors, Dr. C., had a large population of patients with epilepsy in his clinic. It was my job to introduce him to the new anticonvulsant medication that I marketed and to convince him to keep it in mind for some of these patients. I knew my mission, so I prepared an initial call plan that included uncovering what his practice needs were at that time, combined with weekly visits and reminders.
At our first meeting, he took one look at me and walked the other way. After speaking with his nurse, I soon discovered that he did not believe drug reps brought value to his practice and, therefore, would not see them. At that point I knew he would be a challenge, and I was up for it. I devised a strategic plan to get myself in front of him. I decided to devote my time and energy to the “gatekeepers” by befriending the office staff and nurses.
Reverse psychology? It seemed the more attention I gave the rest of the office, the more curious Dr. C. became about me as well as my medications. Every week I would get to know each of the staff members and bring in candy or a lunch. I would always include full details about my product to prove the value I felt I could bring to the office, and also leave a friendly note for Dr. C. requesting he set aside a time for us to meet in person. The staff teased Dr. C. for not participating in my luncheon, and I believe the pressure from them (and from me) eventually broke him down. He finally invited me to sit down with him in his office to review all the details of the medication and discuss his needs at that time. The call went very well, but he did not make any commitments, so I continued with my original sales plan.
Over the next few months, I asked him to try the medicine with some of his patients. I offered examples and ideas of which patient types would make good candidates, explained the dosing schedule and potential side effects, reminded him of the numerous journal articles that praised the drug’s remarkable efficacy, and kept him abreast of the competition. He remained hesitant to use the drug, but with my persistence he agreed to let me organize a conference call with a leader in the neurological community who was having wonderful results with the medication. It turned out to be a fun and educational occasion, and I felt that it afforded me the opportunity to increase my credibility with this very important physician.
Later that week, I was pleasantly surprised to receive an email from Dr. C. thanking me for the event. He said that he felt the conference was very worthwhile and that he appreciated my efforts to bring him the information. Because of this, he promised that he would try the product with the next patient who had uncontrolled seizures. It took about six months, but we were finally at a mutual understanding and able to grow the business relationship.
Throughout my life, I have discovered that knowledge and hard work will be rewarded. Add to these, determination, organized planning, and the ability to develop and maintain relationships with people, and it will make an individual very successful. It is my goal to always remember my mother’s encouraging words and use these qualities in everything I do.
This candidate begins her essay with a quote stating the characteristics she demonstrates through the example provided—persistence, organization, and people skills. The level of detail she gives in her example is a little more than needed, but the essay provides insight into her approach to life that helps us evaluate her as a potential member of the Tippie MBA program.
The decimal point is a powerful little dot. With a mere step to the right or to the left, ten percent can change to one hundred percent, or to one percent. Who decided to give this amazing power to such a little speck of ink, a mere pixel on the screen? Honestly, I don’t know. But if I could travel back to the time when Mr. Mathematician decided to use a small dot for the decimal, I would raise my voice and implore him to use an asterisk. Make it noticeable; make it stand out; make it BIG!
Instead, I sat on a cold metal grandstand at [Speedway A] in [City B, State B], in May of 2001. I was now in my twentieth month serving as the Systems Integration Director of [Team C]. [Team C] recruits ordinary college students, fuses them together, and challenges them to design, construct, test, and race a solar powered car across a continent. This day, the team was eagerly racking up qualifying laps at a 2.1-mile closed-course racetrack attempting to enter [Race D]—a 2,400-mile race that followed Old Route 66 from Chicago to Los Angeles. We were right on track. We had built the best car in the team’s history; we had the healthiest list of sponsors the team had ever accumulated; and, we had a dedicated and eager team that had worked day and night and on weekends and holidays for almost two years to be a part of this great race.
But at that moment, as I suffered on that hard aluminum bleacher seat staring at my calculator screen, I realized that we were in serious jeopardy. The car wasn’t performing like it had over the last two months during testing. The numbers just weren’t adding up. My strategist murmured in my headset that things didn’t look good and we should pull our driver into the pits to check things out. Ten minutes later, my fears were confirmed. It was the battery pack. We spent a full day at the track infield going over the numbers, but they all led to the same conclusion. Our battery pack engineer had made a mistake. Somehow during the design, in one of the specifications, in one of the numerous equations, a one-tenth had become a ten. Almost instantly the ability to win vanished from our dreams and we seriously doubted our ability to enter [Race D].
Just five weeks before this discovery, our battery pack engineer had developed problems in his personal life and had left the team. He was our only expert in the area. His ability and his experience were forever lost. And now, due to race regulations, the 154 laps driven out of 165 that we needed to qualify were also gone. Our $16,000 experimental battery pack was toast, and so were the hopes of every team member. The race was in five weeks.
Five weeks. I knew what had to be done, and I knew I would do it. There would have to be a new battery pack, and every team member’s spirit would have to be relit. We would have to raise money, and we would need technology that had never existed before to appear, to work perfectly, and to be fully understood by our race crew. Our logistics team now had to plan for a car with unknown performance, and our public relations team had to keep our image high while still admitting the truth to our sponsors and to the public. These were the people I managed, and this was my challenge.
I volunteered to be the new battery expert, among other things. I bought French rocket launder batteries from a British company through an Australian product holder. My strategy team changed all their known values to variables; my electrical team completely redesigned the propulsion system. The mechanical design team re-built the battery enclosure. The race logistics team planned for the worst, and some key calls to compassionate corporations paid for the whole she-bang for a mere $20,000. Not a bad price considering that it took us two years to raise the other $730,000 to support the rest of the project.
We re-qualified, entered, and finished [Race D]. A mid-pack finish was more than we could have imagined. We were given the technical innovation award by the U.S. Department of Energy for our battery pack design, and our team won the award for Best Teamwork during the long stretch from Missouri through California. We were also presented with the award for best-looking vehicle design. And I am now referred to as “Captain” by my teammates. I learned to speak a little French, to become an electrical engineer, and to somehow lift high the spirits of thirty of my closest friends. For me, this was an experience of true leadership, that of bringing out the best in other people and succeeding in the common goal. If only I could just make the decimal point a little bigger.
This candidate’s essay is an excellent example of a creative, interesting story that illustrates important characteristics for success in our MBA program and in business. His initiative, self-confidence, teamwork, and leadership in a unique situation come through clearly. These traits are all qualities we seek in our students. His writing style brings out his characteristics as part of an engaging story.
Question: Describe your post-graduation career plans. How will your education, experience, and development to date support those plans? How will an MBA from the University of Michigan Business School help you attain your goals? (500 words)
I would like to pursue an MBA at Michigan in order to gain skills in marketing and corporate strategy for a career as a brand manager. Brand managers are the key link between the innovators in a corporation and the consumers in the marketplace. A broad knowledge of the firm, from Research and Development to logistics, is necessary in order for a brand manager to successfully develop a brand’s strategy. My educational experience in economics and English has provided me with the quantitative and qualitative skills necessary for a career in brand management. From my experience as a management consultant, I have had the opportunity to work with a broad range of departments within a wide variety of firms, and I would like to synthesize this knowledge and build upon it with an MBA so as to eventually become a brand manager for a large food and/or beverage firm. My ideal specialty area would be in ready-to-eat food products because of my interest in branded food products.
Michigan is the ideal fit for my background and interests for several reasons. First, coming from [College A], I am a strong proponent for women in business, and I have continued my support for career women at [Company B] as a leader of the Women’s Network in the Midwest and Canada. I highly value the Women in Business Initiative at Michigan. [Jane Doe], a fellow alum from [College A], a colleague at [Company B], and a member of the Women’s Leadership Council at the University of Michigan Business School, has frequently lauded the dedicated efforts at Michigan to support women in business.
Second, my interest is to work for a large food and/or beverage company, and nearly all of the major food and beverage companies recruit at Michigan. Also, the school has produced a large number of leaders in food and beverage companies such as [Jane Doe] at [Company A] and [John Doe] at [Company B]. I would ideally like to complete a summer internship at a company such as [Company A, B, C, D, or E], all of which have actively recruited at Michigan in past years.
Third, I believe that studying business at Michigan would allow me to build upon my existing skills and enhance them with solid marketing and corporate strategy work that my liberal arts educational background lacks. The breadth and depth of courses at Michigan appeal to me as well as the exceptional faculty members. The classes which fascinate me within the marketing and corporate strategy disciplines include “Strategic Brand Management,” “Consumer Behavior,” and “Strategy, Technology, and the Management of Innovation.” Professors for which I hold great esteem are [Professor A] in Strategy and [Professor B] in Brand Management. Lastly, I would like to get involved in the Marketing Club to learn from others with similar interests, and I would participate in the Consulting Club to share my knowledge and passion from my work at [Company B].
This is an excellent example of an essay that clearly let the admissions committee know the answers to three important questions about an applicant’s background and career objectives: Where are you coming from? Where do you want to go? Why is Michigan’s MBA program the most suited to help you achieve your educational and professional goals? This applicant clearly identified how she intended to build upon her liberal arts education and her professional work experiences to transition to brand management. In doing so, she showed us that she had a very good understanding of Michigan’s general management focus as well as the school’s relationships with recruiting companies and the prominence of our alumni in her chosen field. Further, she showed us that she has been involved in the women’s network at her company and that her commitment would continue as a student by getting involved in our Women in Business Initiative.
There are several reasons admissions staff really want to understand the answers to these questions.
Question: Describe your post-graduation career plans. How will your education, experience, and development to date support those plans? How will an MBA from the University of Michigan Business School help you attain your goals? (500 words)
On completion of my MBA, I plan to continue my career in the investment industry by working as a buy-side discretionary trader for an institutional asset management firm. I would like to specialize in international equities, with a possible overseas assignment. Longer term, I plan to pursue a career in buy-side client portfolio management, leveraging my operations background and applying the increased knowledge of sound business theory developed through my MBA experience. More specifically, I would like to work in a senior-level business development/client service position that would allow me to utilize my cross-functional knowledge to evaluate, initiate and develop long-term sustainable relationships with large institutional clients.
My active involvement in college extracurricular activities supplemented my education by focusing on two areas of interest. I pursued my interest in asset management through my involvement in the Student Foundation as a member of the Board of Trustees, where I oversaw the investment of our club’s $500,000 endowment, and through my internship with [Company A] as an assistant buy-side trader. I gained international exposure through two study-abroad experiences, minors in international business and affairs, and extensive international travel.
My work experience reflects a logical progression in an investment industry career. Working for [Company B] gave me a “big picture view” of asset management and an opportunity to discover which path I wanted to pursue. I discovered my strengths in leadership through project management, in sales through client service and sales support, and in quantitative application through research and performance data analysis. Working for [Company C] has given me invaluable experience in buy-side trading and a clear view of my near-term goal. My experience managing several significant trading relationships, ability to remain calm under pressure in a hectic environment, and confidence in trading $444 million on a daily basis will serve me well as I enter a more senior level of trading.
My education, work experiences and development to date have all prepared me well for my next challenge—that of obtaining an MBA. Six years of working in asset management has limited my exposure to other areas of business practice, and I believe a well-balanced MBA curriculum will significantly improve my knowledge base of different functional areas and provide me with essential business management skills. Michigan is my first choice because of its reputation of building deep expertise in every business function and maintaining a truly global perspective throughout the MBA program, addressing my primary goals in pursuing an MBA. I am particularly impressed with your faculty and especially look forward to taking Finance 640 with [Dr. A]. I find his research on the correlation between weather and stock returns intriguing. Michigan also demonstrates a strong commitment to providing a global education through its curriculum and international opportunities. I would like to participate in both The Global Project Courses and the William Davidson Institute summer assignment. I believe these are incredible opportunities, enhancing my education through “real world” team projects and international business experience.
This is a good example of an essay that describes the goals of someone who wants to return to the same industry after graduating from an MBA program. Most MBA applicants intend a career switch of some type, and the breadth of the MBA education allows them to make that transition. For those who want to return to the same industry, it is helpful for the admissions committee to understand why an applicant believes that getting an MBA will enhance his or her career in that industry. After all, why couldn’t the candidate just progress from position to position in his or her firm without further formal education? Additionally, since Michigan’s MBA curriculum is built upon a general management philosophy, the admissions committee wants to ensure that the applicant does not have too narrow a focus and will appreciate and benefit from the range of course work. For example, many MBA alumni wish they had taken more organizational behavior classes instead of those extra finance or marketing classes.
This applicant provides a very detailed description of career goals—more detailed, perhaps, than most applicants could. That is not the most important aspect of this essay, however. This applicant uses the essay to show us how her interests, skills, and goals have developed in the past few years and then describes how the logical next step is an MBA and, more specifically, a Michigan MBA.