My name is Rebecca Cassidy, but I go by Becca. I am twenty-seven years old, and I work as a dancer by the name of Scarlett in a club called the Midnight Raven. I enjoy listening to music, dancing, and long walks on the beach…
Am I selling it to you yet?
Honestly, I don’t think I’m even selling it to myself. Valentine had become my life, and anything in between Becca and Valentine was simply sleep and a bit of club dancing.
I don’t really know who Becca is anymore.
But this is what Cain asked for. He wanted to meet me as me… and I guess that means he wants to meet Becca.
I sat on the floor of Sasha’s living room. My hair was a mess of curls that I wasn’t too pleased with and Sasha herself was doting over me like a precious gem.
She was employing her fantastic skills of makeup on my face, but as she approached my face with foundation, I bit my lip.
“Erm, Sash… can you let my freckles shine through a little bit?” I asked bashfully.
She smirked, “Oh, does Cain like your freckles?” She teased, delicately painting a thin layer of foundation on my face.
I turned my eyes away from hers, “He told me that I should show them off more often…”
“What a dick! That’s so fucking cute.” Sasha grinned, and then I watched as her expression dimmed as she looked deeper into my eyes, “Are you sure about this, Val?” She asked softly, placing the makeup brush on a towel laid out beside us, “You can always tell him you don’t want to go, and we can watch movies here instead.”
My eyes softened and I pulled her into a gentle hug, careful not to cover her shirt in the freshly applied makeup, “I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t absolutely mortified… I haven’t been in a relationship since…”
“Yeah, since Finn was a shithead and decided to start doing heroin.” She interrupted and shook her head softly; she reached for a wet wipe and fixed a mistake she’d made. “But I am more worried now because Cain isn’t gonna just move into another room and call you his roommate while he gets high off his face. I mean… are you going to sleep with him?”
All of these were questions that I didn’t have answers to, and all of these possibilities scared the shit out of me. Is it wrong to sleep with him on the first night? I didn’t even know. These past few years where sex is a skill to be sold for profit… I didn’t know what it meant anymore. Was it actually, okay?
I sighed heavily and looked at the compact mirror that Sasha held in her hands. She was so good at this. My black and gold eye shadow matched perfectly with the deep red lipstick… and she left the constellation of freckles around my nose just visible enough.
Sasha brought over my dress.
It was a simple black dress with a deep V-neck that plunged nearly to my belly, and it had lace trim around the skirt. I pulled off my dressing gown to reveal a pair of lace undergarments. Nothing incredibly fancy, but pretty, nonetheless. Sasha helped me pull the dress on over my head and then squealed.
“Well, if he is stupid, you let me know. I’ll take you on a date and treat you right.” She laughed.
I walked to the hallway where a floor-length mirror leaned against the wall. I did look pretty. Sasha came over and giggled, pulling me toward the couch.
“He isn’t going to have a clue who you are. Ready for a date two fucking hours early. You can’t even get ready for work on time!” She laughed, her green eyes locked with mine, “Come sit and have a minute to chill.”
She was right.
I was chronically late to everything…
A nightmare to deal with. And here I was two hours early to a date with a man I didn’t know… or at least, a version of the man I didn’t know.
Now all that I can do is wait.
My whole body buzzed with anticipation as I pulled my car into the driveway of my megalomaniac boss’s Victorian mansion. I’d already gotten ready in one of my nicer black pairs of jeans, with a tan leather belt and a deep, crimson-colored flannel. My hair was left untouched by anything but nature, just the way I liked it.
I strode up to Lorenzo’s front door with a clear plan in mind. I had even rehearsed my words numerous times in my head, over and over ever since last night when I told Valentine that I couldn’t cope with her job.
I was going to pay her debt.
I was going to free her soul… no matter what it took.
And everything seemed to be going to plan… at first.
The way I sauntered up to his front door with the suave of a man on a mission.
The way I turned back to my car to click her lock and make sure the doors were fully sealed.
I cannot say, however, that turning to see Lorenzo’s greasy face staring at me from an open door to be part of my plan.
There he was though, all five-foot-seven of him. Standing at the entrance to his home with a massive shit-eating grin.
“Cain!” He hissed in a sickeningly friendly tone, “How nice of you to drop by!” I narrowed my eyes, warily staring him down. He was far too happy for anything good to have come of it.
“Come in, Come in!” He beckons me through the door, “I have some amazing news for you.”
I sighed, “I can’t stay long, Lorenzo. I just have something really important to discuss with you.”
His nose bounced on his face as he nodded quickly, “Yes, of course you do. And I have something that is probably equally as important to you.”
I stepped inside and allowed him to pull the door closed behind me. The usually brightly lit home was now cast in shadows as Lorenzo lured me toward his lounge, where the only source of artificial light was stuttering from a still frame on the television on the wall.
Lorenzo sat with his legs crossed before himself, now facing me. “Go on, Cain. I imagine you want to get this off of your chest quite urgently, or else you wouldn’t have shown up unannounced.”
Suspicion coated the hair of my eyebrows as I stared at him, drinking in that disgusting, greasy grin, “I want to make a transaction.”
His eyes shined in genuine intrigue, “A transaction? What could you possibly want to purchase from me…” His lips point upward into a sneer, “Wait, are you asking me for a private night with Valentine?” A howling laugh escaped Lorenzo, echoing menacingly throughout the halls.
“No… I want you to release her from her contract. I will pay for any financial losses. You will continue your work on helping her find her friend’s killer. I will work double if I need to and pay you in cash.”
I expected Lorenzo to laugh again, but he didn’t.
In fact, his face fell into some silent… contemplative stare as he looked me up and down, “You want to take over the financials for Valentine’s contract?” He queried.
I nodded once, stern and steadfast.
Lorenzo chuckled, a deep malevolent roll of his gravelly voice, “Cain. I think that you had better think long and hard about this one… I have a feeling that what I have to show you today, just might change your mind entirely.”
What the fuck was this bastard getting at?
The way his body language shifted proved to me that my offer was not falling favorably on his mind.
“After all, what I have to show you has actually bought you your own freedom.” Lorenzo’s voice boomed in the chamber as he reached for the slender black remote control and pressed play.
My eyes sealed to the video as it began to roll the familiar CCTV footage of my brother’s workshop…
But this time it was different.
This time there was more.
I stepped closer to the TV to watch, eyes narrowed to focus on any detail. I watched all of the movements that my brother had made, the ones that I had recognized, memorized. Then he changed. In the seconds where I expected the whirr of static and silence… it continued.
Conor was still seated at the desk, the book splayed out before him. But this time something triggers his attention to the door.
A customer?
Conor didn’t seem fearful. He actually seemed delighted. His face brightened as he smiles at a woman who approaches his counter.
It was Valentine.
I turned back to look at Lorenzo, “Why the fuck is Val there?”
He didn’t speak, only motioned for me to continue watching.
Valentine leaned over the counter, the leather of her cropped jacket pulling tight against her shoulders and her blonde hair curled to perfection. She smiled, flashing that horrible… fake seduction at my brother as a siren would to lure sailors to their rocky deaths .
Rage burned in my chest as she pulled a piece of chocolate from her purse and began to nibble.
Conor obviously teases her a little, and she giggled in response, then reaching into a separate compartment of her purse for another before placing the chocolate between my brother’s lips.
Then she stood on her toes and kissed him.
The blood in my body began to boil as I felt utter betrayal coarse through me.
And then, Val pulled away from him, flashing a saccharine smile and a flirty wave before saying a few words that left Conor giddy.
Valentine exited and Conor returned to reading, though it seemed his eyes fixed themselves on her form long after she had disappeared through the glass.
Lorenzo pushed the button on the remote to speed through a passage of time before he switched it back to normal speed.
Conor now looked breathless.
His eyes darted around as he clutched at his throat.
This part was all too familiar.
I wanted to reach through the screen and save him,to have been there for him…
And then he collapsed against his desk, dead.
Waves of nausea rushed over me as I felt whatever infatuation I once held for Valentine, shatter, crushed to dust in an instant. I growled and turned to Lorenzo with a fire burning in my eyes.
“What the fuck was that? Is that fucking real?” I snarl, my eyes fixed on his beady brown eyes.
Lorenzo smirked, his shoulders raising lightly in a huff of satisfaction. “My price for Valentine’s freedom is five bricks,” he said flatly, a long scraggly finger digging into his bulbous nose, “Though, I am sure you can see that your contract has been fulfilled. Your brother’s killer has been found.” He removed a wad of congealed snot and flicked it to the floor.
It landed with a sickening thwack on the tile.
I growled, looking down between my feet. “I need to speak to her. I need time.”
Lorenzo grinned widely, “Sure. But unfortunately, I cannot have retired employees on my premises unless they are inquiring about my business. So, Adam Hunt,you should be leaving immediately.”
An alarm on my phone began to sound, the sinister chimes of a call toward a fate that I wasn’t exactly sure I still wanted. I retrieved the singing device from my pocket and slid the alarm for silence.
Finally, I shot Lorenzo a deadly glare, and then proceeded towalk straightthrough the doors and out of the mansion.
My Charger sat there in the driveway, sparkling in the evening light.
An intense, morphing stare tethered my gaze to the shiny black coat of polish and tinted windows. That fucking car had served me no purposes other than speed and annoyance.
At this present moment, all I wanted was to pack up my life and hightail it out of this fucking place.
But something pulled deep inside my gut that told me not to. I told me that I had to keep myself afloat, and that I had to at least speak to Valentine first.
I was curled up on Sasha’s couch, listening to her rambling on about this new show she was really enjoying, but I couldn’t help but keep my eyes fixated on the window just beyond my red-haired friend’s face.
The sunlight was beginning to recede into the horizon, and I felt my heart leap with joy as I waited anxiously for my phone to ring. To ding. To do fucking anything.
Cain was never late.
And he never failed.
As the clock flipped from 6:59 to 7:00 a message finally popped up from Cain.
Cain: Here.
This was odd… he never messaged when he was here. He always called. I typed a quick message to let him know I was on my way down and then gave Sasha a big hug before rushing out the door and down the stairs to where Cain was usually parked.
There, in his usual spot, the Charger sat idling. Cain was seated in the driver’s seat, his head leaned back against the headrest with his eyes closed as though he was in stasis.
I felt a pang of worry in my chest as I pulled the handle of the passenger side door open.
A rush of cold, stagnant, suffocating energy rolled out like smoke from a hotbox. Cain didn’t move, his eyes opening only enough for him to be able to peer through the slits at me.
“Um… hey!” I muttered, unsure now if I should even get into the car.
What was wrong?
Had something happened?
He nodded to me. It was a kind of silent rejection that stung me to my core. Even when he was annoyed with me, he always shook his head and called me a pain in his ass.
What the fuck is going on?
A rush of anxiety coated my nerves, and I drew my right hand to grip onto my left forearm. I couldn’t help it but stand there and stare at him.
“Can you please get in the car?” Cain mumbled, motioning to the passenger side seat with a breath of ennui.
That feeling that I had before every single show that Lorenzo forced me to do began to crawl over my shoulders.
I choked back this morose fear that felt suffocating, and I slipped into the car. My sight blurred as a thin glassy film overcame them, my eyes instinctively locking to the floor.
The car hummed as Cain adjusted his position.
A heavy, frustrated sigh left him as he turned to me. He pinched the bridge of his nose, “I need to speak to you about something incredibly important.”
My heart thumped in my chest, but I nodded, “Yes… yeah of course.” I mumbled.
Cain turned off the car, and as the key pulled from the ignition, I felt my heart sink. The idea of the joy this night would bring shattered in his hands. The 6’2” man beside me, covered in tattoos and radiating this energy that snuffed any and every sense of who I thought he was, removed his phone from his pocket. For a moment, silence hung in the air like thick smog.
Then he turned his phone so the screen would face me.
Displayed on the pristinely cared-for screen was the face of a man that I absolutely knew.
I absolutely recognized him.
A well of bile began to build in my stomach and I glanced past the phone to see that Cain’s blue orbs had soldered to me in intense examination. His face rested against his fist, propped up against the doorframe by his elbow as he searched for my expression.
“I-I know him,” I muttered.
Cain’s eyes fell, almost as if he wanted me to lie and say that I didn’t.
Why would I lie to him?
“Can- Can you just fucking speak to me?” I coughed out, holding back my own frustrations that burned at the base of my eyelids.
“What is his name?” His tone was venomous, but shaky.
How could this man be so fucking terrifying and so fucking broken at the same time?
I racked my brain, searching for the name, “I- I don’t remember… Cain, I haven’t spoken to him for years, I-”
“WHY haven’t you spoken to him for years, Valentine?” Cain spat at me.
“Um… I think… I think he might have died?” I muttered, feeling my words catch up to me.
I knew he died.
I knew I was the one to kill him.
Why did Cain know?
How did Cain know?
“His fucking name was Conor. Conor Hunt!” Cain yelled, throwing his phone into the backseat. It bounced a few times and then fell to the floorboard.
“Y-yes…” My chest burned, “I remember now.”
Cain balled his hands into tight fists and slammed them against the steering wheel, “Fuck!”
I couldn’t tell if he was angry or dejected, but when Cain turned back to look at me, his thoughts were displayed directly upon his face.
Hatred.
Betrayal.
Anger.
Grief.
Through clentched teeth he finally managed, “My name is Adam Hunt…
You. Killed. My. Fucking. Brother.”
The thud of my heart against my ribs seemed to stop in an instant.
I was removed from this place of fear and anger and ascended the ranks into being downright destroyed.
I stared wordlessly at Cain; our eyes sealed together in some sort of shared agony. I had only been following orders.
Conor was just another customer… it was ages before Cain even started as my driver!
His eyes narrowed, sending shockwaves of torment throughout my soul before they closed completely, and then Cain’s body slumped back against his seat. His hands reached forward, gripping the wheel with all of his might and channeling himself into one final, broken sob.
“Cain,” I muttered, though my voice fell into the void of silence, never to reach his ears. I extended my hand to touch his bicep. I wanted to explain, but he ripped himself from my touch.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Valentine.”
I peeled back quickly, completely shoving myself back against the door behind me. Swells of panic opened fire throughout my body as I felt this rapturous pain envelop me.
And then he fucking did it…
He turned to me and delivered the most fucking devastating blow that I have ever felt in my life.
Cain turned to look at me, his blue eyes now stained red from the tears he was forcing from demanding release. He gritted his teeth, “I loved you, Valentine. I-” he shook his head quickly and faced away, staring out the window, “I fucking loved you.”
That was it.
That was all I needed.
The tears began to streak down my face as this delusion of peace that I had built in my mind finally came crashing down at swift speeds. My hand launched to clasp over my mouth, sealing within my palm the sobs that threatened to escape. I turned, searching for the handle. As I pulled, my weight against the door pushed it open and I practically fell from the car.
Cain’s hand shot out and he grabbed my wrist in perfect timing to prevent me from falling.
Eternities passed as the tight grip of his hand held me in place.
Then with all of his strength, he ripped me from where I dangled and then crashed our lips together.
A final seal.
The sparks from his lips sent waves of anguish through me and all I wanted was to fall into his arms and sob.
He was the first to pull away, and as he did… I knew it was over. He looked me directly in the eyes and said with complete and total conviction: “Focus.”
My heart ached, the tears morphed to those of sadness, and I nodded slowly.
Focus.
It was my safe-word.
It meant that whatever was going on, no matter the passion, no matter the feelings, it was shut down.
Halted.
Silenced.
Snuffed.
A million other fucking synonyms that meant that this was over.
My cheeks were soaked and warm as the heat from his kiss radiated at my lips.
I yearned for him… not just sexually, but wholly, and completely.
I nodded and scooted myself to the open door.
For a moment, I stood there.
This delusion of hope that he would beckon me back. That we could go on like this had never happened. That we could go on and have dinner like we were meant to… but he didn’t. As I closed the door, the ignition turned over and he drove away, leaving me and all of my broken pieces on the curb.