STEP 7
Discover how to motivate yourself.
This step supplies the energy and enthusiasm to keep you going. You will acquire the tools to jump-start yourself and help turn your attitude into action.
On my first day in junior high, my homeroom teacher handed me a note telling me I had to go to speech therapy class. I was shocked. For most of my life my family had been telling me that I would outgrow my stutter, just as one of my uncles had outgrown his. I’d shot up four inches during summer break, and none of my clothes fit. I’d attended speech therapy all summer, and my stuttering had decreased significantly. Based on all that evidence, I was sure that I’d outgrown the school’s speech therapy program.
I disliked speech therapy class because it made me feel different. Every year in school up to that point, I’d had to leave my classmates two days a week for the special training. They knew I had a problem. They’d heard me suffer through enough readings. I didn’t want to make it any more obvious than I had to.
My teacher, Mr. Brown, was cool. He didn’t make the announcement in front of my new classmates. He came to me and told me quietly. I told Mr. Brown that I didn’t need speech class anymore. He insisted that I go. I assured him that I would be right back because there must have been a mistake.
Reach into the Attitude Tool Kit
On the way down to the speech therapy class, I gave myself a pep talk. I’m not going to stutter anymore. I’m through with it. I speak clearly now. I’m not going to stutter anymore. I’m through with it. I speak clearly now. I didn’t think of the words I said as affirmations, but looking back, they fit the definition of a tool used for self-motivation. And they worked.
I was still repeating my affirmation as I walked into the room and up to the therapist, who was standing at the front of the class. My heart was racing, but my focus was intense. I looked the therapist in the eye and started talking faster—and more clearly—than I ever had in my life: “I’m Keith Harrell, and they told me to come here for help. But I’ve been in speech therapy for six years now, and I’ve practiced my therapy from my old instructor all summer, and I don’t stutter anymore. I’ve outgrown it. My grandma told me that the day would come when I would outgrow it and that day is here!”
When I finished my little speech, the instructor looked at me with a mixture of kindness and confusion. “I do have you on my list for therapy, Keith, but you’re right. It sounds like you don’t need it anymore,” he said.
At first I was confused. Then it hit me. I had gotten through that entire speech without stuttering! I was so focused on the words, I didn’t pay any attention to the delivery.
“That was great, Keith. Now I’d like you to read something for the class. If you can do that, we’ll know for sure that you’ve outgrown your stutter. It will inspire the other kids. I’m going to introduce you to them now,” he said.
“Class, hard work is going to pay off for you. Keith stuttered, and for six years he went to speech twice a week. He worked all summer, and he says that he doesn’t stutter anymore. I’ve asked him to read to you so you can see how well he has done.”
The entire time the therapist was talking, I was repeating my affirmation.
“Keith? Are you ready?”
I focused on the words on the page of the book he’d handed me, and I began reading. The words flowed out of my mouth. The kids in the classroom leaned forward in their chairs. Many of them had known me for a long time. They’d never heard me talk so clearly. My confidence grew as I read. For the first time, the other kids weren’t snickering or laughing at me. Some were cheering me on, because if I could do it, they felt they could too.
I had never before dared to look up from a page while I was reading aloud, but I did that day. I even threw in a few dramatic effects as I completed the story. I felt like an actor delivering an Academy Award–winning performance. There was applause when I finished. You can be sure I took a little bow too.
I was excited, but so was everyone else. “You don’t have to come to speech class anymore, Keith,” the teacher said. “I’m proud of you. We’re all proud of you. Would you come back sometime and read to us again?”
I told him I’d be glad to. Then I ran out of the speech therapy room and headed straight for the school office. I was so excited I couldn’t wait to call my mom.
As soon as she said, “This is Florence Harrell,” I said, “Mmmn, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmm, I don’t have to go to speech anymore!”
“Slow down, slow down,” she said. “You’re stuttering, honey.”
“No, no, I’m not stuttering. I’m just excited, Mom, because I don’t stutter anymore. I’ve grown out of it!”
I’d grown out of stuttering, and I’d grown out of my fearful attitude when it came to speaking in front of other people. I’d also grown out of any sense of being victimized by my speech impediment. That day I learned the power of affirmations, which are Tool 1 in your Attitude Tool Kit. Affirmations are statements of faith in our dreams, goals, and ability to take control of our lives. They are part of an array of helpful tools you can use to help you focus, build confidence, and eliminate self-doubt, fears, and other counterproductive thoughts. Other attitude tools include self-motivation, visualization, attitude talk, powerful greetings, enthusiasm, spiritual empowerment, humor, and exercise.
Attitude Tool 1
Self-Coaching Through Affirmations
Affirmations repeated several times each day, every day, serve to reprogram your subconscious with positive thinking. An affirmation is made up of words—words charged with power, conviction, and faith. Every time you speak, atoms of your body are affected; their rate of vibration is either raised or lowered. This process involves repetition, feeling, and imagining.
An affirmation is a method for affirming something positive in your mind. It may involve stating something that you think to be true even when all evidence appears to be to the contrary. An affirmation contains the elements of your belief, attitude, and motivation.
You send a positive response to your subconscious, which accepts whatever you tell it. When done properly, this triggers positive feelings that, in turn, drive action. Imagining is the process that allows you to see the affirmation in your mind. Once you can see it in your mind, you’ll be closer to achieving it in your life.
Affirmations not only help to keep you positive, they also stir the power within you. This power needs to be coached and guided to maximize your performance.
Learning to craft a custom-made affirmation can be a powerful tool in helping you create a positive attitude and transform it into positive actions. The statements you design for your affirmations must be positive and in the present or future tense. An affirmation is something you say to take control of your thoughts, emotions, and attitudes. To work well, it should have these five attributes:
Avoid using tenuous words such as try, wish, or hope in your affirmations. You want a statement that has the ring of an established truth, not a desire. “I am somebody!” has a lot more power than “I’m trying to be somebody!”
Look at this list of five events that might cause you to develop a bad attitude. Try to come up with at least one positive affirmation for each on your own. I’ve included my own examples to help you.
Now take a look at the affirmations I have provided and the ones you came up with. Most of them not only reflect a positive attitude but also offer a course of action. They give you something to visualize.
For many years, the young fighter Muhammad Ali told everyone, “I’m the greatest!” Today, few people would disagree that he was the greatest of his day and is one of the greatest in boxing history.
In the 1993–94 season, the Houston Rockets were struggling in the NBA playoffs. When they walked onto their home court and saw huge banners carrying the affirmation “We believe,” it helped inspire and motivate the players. Assured that they were not in it alone, that their fans and their city were behind them, the Rockets went on to win the championship that year, and the next year too. I’m sure that Akeem Olajuwon and his teammates had something to do with it too, but there’s no doubt that when the fans told the players, “We believe,” the players began to believe more in themselves, just as the Dallas Cowboys pumped up their attitudes for years as “America’s Team.”
Affirmations are such a big part of sports that we hardly notice them. What could be a more classic affirmation than the old cheerleading chant that goes “S-U-C-C-E-S-S. That’s the way we spell success!” Sports marketing has long embraced affirmations as a way to pitch products. Nike’s “Just Do It!” started out as an ad slogan and became a favorite affirmation of teams and athletes around the world.
Attitude Tool 2
Self-Motivation Through Discovering
Your Motives
The first step in motivating yourself is to discover a motive that moves you. The dictionary defines motive as “that which incites a person to take action.” A motive helps you take action to change your life. Basic motives for action include love, self-preservation, anger, financial gain, and fear. The three strongest are love, fear, and financial gain.
Brenda, a young single mother, used fear and love to help her daughter. In the process, she overcame a childhood phobia and discovered an unlikely passion and a new career. Brenda had always had trouble keeping up in school, and her weakest subject was always math. She enrolled in a remedial mathematics course at the local community college because she loved her daughter and feared she wouldn’t be able to assist her with her homework. She earned an A in the course, which inspired her to set a higher goal. She decided to earn her college degree.
“My earliest memory of school is being told I was stupid. It was in the third grade. I’d recently transferred into the class,” she recalled. “There was a problem on the blackboard, and I raised my hand. When I answered incorrectly, the teacher called me stupid. All the kids laughed. I just hung my head and fought back the tears. I always felt I wasn’t smart enough. I always feared I would end up a failure because I felt I wasn’t very bright.”
After barely graduating from high school, she worked at several low-paying, dead-end jobs and was barely getting by. Things changed after her daughter was born. She became highly motivated to set an example and to build a better life for the two of them. Knowing her options were limited without a degree, she returned to school and graduated with a degree in computer science. Brenda now works at a high-tech firm and tutors students in advanced mathematics. Because of her love for her daughter, Brenda put her attitude into action, overcame her fear of failure, and created a better life for her family.
I recently encountered someone who had learned to become his own master motivator by discovering his motives. I’d just taken my seat on a flight when the fellow next to me introduced himself and made the standard inquiry: “What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a motivational speaker and consultant. What do you do?”
“I sell pickles,” he said. “Do you know anything about pickles? Nobody sells pickles like I sell pickles. I love pickles! Did you know that the pickle comes from the cucumber family? There are hundreds of different kinds of pickles. There’s sweet, dill, sour, crispy, chopped, diced, relish, pickle juice, all kinds of pickles. You can eat pickles with everything any time of day. I love pickles. I have some pickles in my bag. I don’t think we’re going to have a meal on this flight, but if you get tired of eating pretzels, I can make you a pickle sandwich.”
At that time, the flight attendant asked if we wanted a beverage and he started asking her if she would like some pickles and if she thought anybody on the plane might want some. He had plenty for everyone.
When he took a breath, I asked him how he developed this pickle passion.
“I used to have a job in a different business altogether and I got laid off. I saw an ad in the classifieds calling for salespeople to sell pickles. I didn’t really know a lot about pickles, but I needed a job. At first, when I’d meet people like you on the road and they’d ask me what I did for a living, I’d just tell them I was in the food business. I was a little embarrassed telling people I sold pickles. But one day I realized that by selling pickles, I’d been given a new quality of life. My wife is happy. We have a nice home, a nice car, and the opportunity to be active in our community. I have a little boy who’s sick, but thanks to the fact that people are buying my pickles, my wife can stay home and take care of him. I love pickles. Don’t forget, if you need some pickles I can get you some. If anybody you know needs some pickles, call me and I’ll take care of them.”
The plane landed, and as we got off we shook hands and he handed me his business card. On the front of it was a big green pickle. I keep it in my wallet as a reminder of someone who understands the importance of self-motivation. The underlying motive is his love for his family. It’s important to discover what motivates you in order to have the passion you need to achieve your success.
Remember, the strongest form of motivation is internal. Motivation is not permanent. You need to do something every day to maintain your energy, focus, and enthusiasm.
The danger of relying on outside motivation is that it’s like listening to a John Phillips Sousa march. While it’s playing, the music will really get you on your feet, but once the music stops you’re likely to sit back down and wait for the next song. I want you to be able to keep on dancing long after I stop banging the drums.
The Art and Science of Human Motivation
Since people have different needs and different desires, they’re motivated in many different ways. When someone is powerfully motivated, it’s usually to fulfill a very strong need. Human motivation is a complex field that has been studied extensively by psychologists, behaviorists, and philosophers. Scientists have employed everything from electricity to chemicals that stimulate specific areas of the human brain to determine what motivates us.
The late Abraham Maslow, a psychologist and philosopher who pioneered our understanding of human motivation, is best known for his self-actualization theory. This theory holds that each of us has a hierarchy of needs that must be satisfied, ranging from basic physiological requirements like air, food, and water to emotional needs such as love, esteem, and, finally, self-fulfillment.
Maslow believed that as each level of need is met, we move on to the next higher level. If the most primary needs aren’t met, we have to stay focused on fulfilling those needs. If, for example, you are constantly cold and hungry, you are unlikely to be concerned about whether you are intellectually stimulated. After the primary needs for survival are met, Maslow believed our next priority to be personal safety, followed by social interaction, and then self-worth, self-esteem, status, and recognition. Last, but not least, is the need for self-actualization, or self-fulfillment—the need to realize our full purpose and potential. “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be,” Maslow wrote.
Motivation is the hope that puts attitude into action in an attempt to fulfill a desire or achieve a specific result. Self-motivation requires at least these five qualities:
Attitude Tool 3
The Power of Visualization
Modern studies of the psychology of peak performance have found that most great athletes, surgeons, engineers, and artists use affirmations and visualizations either subconsciously or consciously to enhance and focus their skills.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a reconstructive and cosmetic facial surgeon, wrote one of the first books that established the true power of visualization in controlling and maintaining a positive attitude. He was sixty-one years old when he wrote the classic self-help book Psycho-Cybernetics in 1960. He realized that a great many of the patients who had come to him so that they could look better were still insecure and unhappy even with their “perfect” faces. He understood that visualization was a powerful method for self-therapy.
In Psycho-Cybernetics, Maltz tells of a visualization experiment he conducted with a basketball team. He had five team members practice shooting foul shots in the gym for several days. Five others practiced shooting only in their minds, visualizing themselves shooting free throws and making each shot. After the five practice days, Maltz staged a contest between the two teams. The players who had visualized themselves making free throws did much better than those who had actually done it.
Today, more and more amateur and professional athletes are spending considerable time on their mental training. Pole-vaulters use visualization to see themselves progress through every step of their jumps. They not only visualize their goals, they also imagine exactly what their bodies feel like when they make perfect vaults. Research shows we learn faster with this type of mental visualization. Sports psychologists say that such mental training sends neuromuscular signals that lead to a stronger, more effective performance during the actual event or game.
Phil Jackson, former coach of both the Chicago Bulls and the Los Angeles Lakers, is a big believer in the power of visualization. In his book Sacred Hoops, Jackson notes that he encouraged his players to use visualization to calm themselves during time-outs in games. He advised them to think of a “safe spot” where they felt secure as a method for taking a “short mental vacation” before he gave them directions.
Jackson said that several of his players practiced visualization before games, thinking about what was going to happen and how they would react to it. Players said that pregame visualization exercises help them react more quickly in game situations. The coach said he generally did forty-five minutes of visualization at home before each game to prepare his mind and to come up with last-minute adjustments. While he was still coaching, Jackson said the value of visualization was “to link the grand vision of the team I conjure up every summer to the evolving reality on the court. That vision becomes a working sketch that I adjust, refine and sometimes scrap altogether as the season develops.” He also used visualization to calm himself and to detach himself emotionally from the game, because in his early years of coaching he had a tendency to argue a lot with the referees, which resulted in the team being penalized.
Nelson Mandela has written extensively on how visualization helped him maintain a positive attitude while being imprisoned for twenty-seven years. “I thought continually of the day when I would walk free. Over and over, I fantasized about what I would like to do,” he wrote in his autobiography.
Visualization works well with affirmations to improve your attitude and self-motivation.
It’s strange that we don’t feel odd or self-conscious using the same tools for developing a negative attitude. How many times have you visualized yourself failing and then gone out and done it? How many negative messages do you send yourself every day? What a dumb mistake! I’m not smart enough for the job. I knew I wasn’t good enough to get the promotion. I’ll always be a C student.
It takes the same amount of effort to create positive visualizations and affirmations as to create negative ones, but the positive motivational tools will move you forward, and the negative will hold you back.
Attitude Tool 4
Attitude Talk for Positive Internal Dialogue
Positive internal dialogue is what I refer to as “attitude talk.” I recommend attitude talk as a way to override your past negative programming by erasing or replacing it with a conscious positive internal voice that helps you face new directions. Your internal conversation—that little voice you listen to all day long—acts like a seed in that it programs your brain and affects your behavior. Fortunately, the information in our brains can be reprogrammed. We have the choice to take a closer look at what we’re saying to ourselves and start reprogramming for personal and professional success.
Attitude talk differs from affirmations in that attitude talk can only be heard by you, while affirmations are positive statements spoken out loud with power and conviction.
Protect Your Eye-Gate and RYM
(Renew Your Mind)
To reprogram our inner dialogue talk from negative to positive, we must protect our eye-gate. Consider three of the most common influences that can program us daily.
Staying positive gives you the mental toughness necessary to maximize performance and meet professional and personal goals. The RYM technique will turn your attitude around by changing your current thought patterns. You can quickly Renew Your Mind by reading something positive at least two times every day. You’ve heard it said, “You are what you eat.” Have you ever considered that you are what you read? A person who can read, but chooses not to do so, is no better off than the person who can’t.
The most positive people you will meet are often those who consistently feed their minds with positive insights from great writers. A good time to begin reading is in the morning when you are fresh and can retain the most information at an optimum level. Or take those last fifteen minutes before bed when your mind is active to fill it with encouraging material. Not only will you develop a good attitude, you’ll get a good night’s sleep while you’re at it! Throughout the day, make it a practice to RYM by reading and focusing on positive visual messages, uplifting quotes, posters, and books. Keep them close at hand. We all need continual positive reinforcement to combat the negative.
Win the Battle of the Mind
One of the biggest opportunities of my life came when I was invited to speak at the men’s conference at World Changers Church International. I had been a member of the church for eight years, and it was the first time I had been asked to speak. I considered it a tremendous honor.
And I felt tremendous pressure. This was different than speaking to corporate groups. How was I going to adapt my message to a Christian audience? Could I satisfy the people of God? Could I satisfy God?
I started preparing eight months out. I had ample time to get ready. And ample time to let negative self-talk beat me down. Self-talk has a way of starting the moment we wake up and whispering negative messages until we go to bed. As the men’s conference grew near and the pressure I was feeling mounted, the internal voices got louder. They drove me to my knees. I remember lying on the floor, as my self-talk repeated, “You’re not going to do well. Your message is not going to be effective. You’re in the wrong place. You normally don’t speak at church functions. You’re not ready. You’re out of your league.”
The day I was to speak, my self-talk woke me up early. It would not relent. The irony is, I knew about self-talk. I had written volumes on it! Yet, I was allowing it to defeat me. So I took hold of the situation and started to tell myself what I knew to be true. “You are ready. You spent hours and hours in prayer and preparation. You were chosen to be here. People will be blessed by your message.”
And guess what. The talk was successful. People were blessed and encouraged. When I allowed positive self-talk to replace the negative inner dialogue, I was able to move forward with confidence.
Below are some examples of negative internal dialogues. As you read them, compare them with your own conversations and add your own phrases to the list.
NEGATIVE INTERNAL DIALOGUE
EXAMPLES OF ATTITUDE TALK
Start listening to your internal voice. Every day, write down your internal conversation, both positive and negative. This exercise will help you gain control over the words that affect your attitude.
Attitude Tool 5
The Power of Words—WOW
The words we speak to others are just as powerful as those we speak to ourselves. As a well-known proverb says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Whether said in love or in anger, words leave a lasting impression. Therefore, you should be very mindful of the things you say, particularly in anger. Once released to the universe, words cannot be taken back. That’s why it is critical that we learn the concept of WOW. We must Watch Our Words.
It all goes back to the mouth-gate. Remember the words of your mother: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” The reason goes deeper than being polite. The tongue is the pen to our hearts. What we speak is programmed on the inside. Consider another proverb: “Out of the issues of your heart, your mouth speaks.” Clearly, there is a heart-mouth connection. What we feel and think within actually comes out in the form of our words. What we speak also reflects what is already in our hearts, based upon all the things we have come to believe about ourselves. If we find ourselves speaking judgmental and disparaging things about our circumstances or those around us, we know the condition of our hearts needs to change. The exciting thing is that by letting the past go and writing new positive messages upon the “tablet” of our hearts, what will come out of our mouths—from that moment on—will change for the good.
There is another reason to Watch Our Words. What we say from our mouth-gate enters back through our ear-gates, directly affecting our hearts, minds, and attitude. Whether these messages we speak are truthful or completely false, the actual words create images and perceptions that are believed within. Monitoring your mouth-gate includes the discipline of keeping the gate closed when appropriate and opening the gate to speak positive words on your heart.
Appropriate words will also uplift others. Start looking for opportunities to speak the right thing in the right moment. Whether you are in a departmental meeting or speaking to a family member, having the right words to say will affect your attitude and that of those around you. You are certainly more likely to get your point across. A right word today has the power to impact your success tomorrow.
In fact, you can create a direct path to success by what you say. Think about the words you speak. If they are average words, you can expect average results. Powerful, outstanding words create an atmosphere that shapes you and those around you into powerful, positive people who can accomplish anything. When you speak empowering words, you are empowered.
Attitude Tool 6
The Power in a Positive Greeting
Your words can make a difference in someone’s life the instant you see that person. There is incredible power in a positive greeting. There is power in the words that we use, the things that we say, and the things that we do. That’s why I advise you to use words that lift up your attitude and the attitudes of those around you. Most people greet each other with words that have no power or energy. For example, when asked how we are doing or how we feel, some average responses are “I’m OK,” “I guess I’m making it,” “I’ll survive,” “I’m hangin’ in,” “Is it payday?” “I don’t know right now, talk to me later.” One of my favorite responses was from a man I met in a lobby of a hotel. When I asked how he was doing, he responded, “I’m just getting out from under things.” Having some fun with this person, I said, “With that attitude, looks like you need to go back!”
He laughed and said, “You’re probably right!”
You can have a positive and lasting impact on another person’s life with small gestures of thoughtfulness or a few encouraging words. I was alone in an airport terminal somewhere in the wee hours of the morning waiting for a connecting flight when I heard someone whistling a cheerful tune that lightened my mood. I looked up to see that the happy whistler was a cleaning lady emptying trash cans. She looked to be near retirement age, if not older. I smiled and asked her how she was feeling.
“Brand new!” she said enthusiastically. “Every day I wake up is a brand new day for me, and for you too.”
I was struck by her level of enthusiasm so early in the morning, and also by her obvious sense of pride in the job she was doing. I have no doubt that she was feeling brand new because of her positive approach to life. She brightened my day simply with a positive greeting.
I try to spread the cheer too, by offering my own version of the cleaning lady’s “brand new” line. When folks ask me how I’m doing, I say “Super-fantastic!”
One important secret to internal motivation and being positive: When you’re feeling somewhat down-spirited, don’t tell people how you feel, tell them how you want to feel. By controlling what you say, using positive words with enthusiasm, you help to change your physical and mental state. Not only are the benefits self-rewarding, but you’ll recognize the positive impact you have on others.
While working at IBM, every time someone walked by my office and greeted me, I would respond with a big positive “I feel super-fantastic!” It wasn’t long before people started to ask how I felt just to hear if I would say something else. It became so popular that if I accidentally said, “I feel great!” people would be disappointed and ask if everything was OK.
I’ve been saying “super-fantastic” ever since. I was in New Orleans at a conference when I heard someone on the street say to his friend, “See that guy? Go up to him and ask him how he’s doing.” I slowed down. The man came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, and asked, “How you doing?” I enthusiastically replied, “Super-fantastic!” His friend across the street said, “I told you that was him! That’s Mr. Super-fantastic!”
People all over the country are now saying, “super-fantastic.” The daughter of a friend of mine even took it to her high school. If you were to ask someone from that senior class how they are doing, you would hear, “Super-fantastic!” I’ll never forget the person in my audience who, hearing my talk on using positive responses, came up to me after my presentation. He said, “Sir, I don’t mean to sound negative—” and I thought to myself, Well, don’t. He then said, “—but how can you tell people that you feel super-fantastic every day? That’s impossible!” I looked at him with a big smile and said, “I don’t have to feel super-fantastic every day. All I have to do is feel it today! The key is, if you don’t feel it, you tell people how you want to feel, and it won’t be long before you do.” The person smiled and said, “I think I got it.”
Most people enjoy working and living with people who try to view and live life for what it is—a beautiful gift. It takes an inside effort to make an outside difference. When you say, “Super,” it forces you to smile. And it’s pretty hard to fake “fantastic.” Say the words, and before you know it, you really will feel super-fantastic.
Attitude Tool 7
Enthusiasm, a Vital Tool for
Staying Motivated
Enthusiasm is another vital tool for maintaining a positive attitude and for staying motivated. Enthusiasm is to attitude what breathing is to life. Enthusiasm enables you to apply your gifts more effectively. It engages the spirit that moves within. The English word enthusiasm is derived from the Greek enthousiasmos, which means “inspiration.” The two root words are enthous and entheos, which mean “God or spirit within.”
When I talk about enthusiasm in my seminars, I ask my audience three questions: Where do you buy it? How do you get it? How much does it cost? I then do an exercise in which I divide the attendees into two or three groups, depending on the audience size. I challenge them to make noise, to let it go, to let out all of their enthusiasm for a full five seconds.
I turn this into a contest, telling them the loudest group will get a prize. What group do you think makes the most noise? The last group. It never fails. If there are three groups, the second group does slightly better than the first, but the last group always uses every ounce of its collective enthusiasm to give an outstanding effort.
Why is it that adults wait to compete before giving their best? After the exercise, most adults want another chance, which lets me remind them of the old adage that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. When I give this same exercise to children, there is no differentiation between groups. What group would you say wins? They all do. The first group is just as loud as the last group. Children don’t care who is watching. They love a challenge; they love to let go.
My friend Dr. Metcalf views enthusiasm as “sharing what you have inside yourself with others.” For me, enthusiasm is an internal spirit that speaks through your actions from your commitment and your belief in what you are doing. Enthusiasm means putting yourself in motion. In my speeches and seminars, I ask thousands of people each year “How many people like a person who demonstrates sincere, honest enthusiasm?” From the responses I receive, there is no doubt that enthusiasm is one of the most empowering and attractive characteristics you can have.
Attitude Tool 8
Connecting to Your Spiritual Empowerment
The ultimate level of human need extends into the spiritual realm. Just as we feed our bodies in response to our primary need to survive physically, we need to feed our spirit because we are spiritual beings. I reached this conclusion by reading one of the first and most successful motivational tools of all time, the Bible. A great deal of the self-help and motivational material available today springs from this source. In fact, I’ve been told that the word BIBLE is really an acronym that stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
The Bible, a global best-seller, includes these powerful words:
I will never leave you, nor forsake you.
—JOSHUA I:5
All things are possible to him that believes.
—MARK 9:23
Walk by faith, not by sight.
—2 CORINTHIANS 5:7
The Lord is on my side; I will fear not: what can man do unto me?
—PSALMS 118:6
Many people find powerful and positive motivation in their faith. I happen to be one of them. I’ve referred to the Bible to make the point that self-motivation is a serious and deeply rooted part of human existence. All of the well-known affirmations and positive motivational tools of today sprang from the Bible.
Attitude Tool 9
Lighten Up Your Life with Humor
Humor is a powerful motivator. The more humor and laughter in your life, the less stress you’ll have, which in turn means more positive energy to help you put your attitude into action.
While working at IBM, a company that at least back then was known for being rather conservative, I had one of the least desirable sales territories. I had to maintain a sense of humor to keep my sanity. One of my most challenging prospects was the manager in charge of office equipment at the Golden Grain Company. I’d been trying for months to get an appointment to sell him copiers or typewriters or a pencil sharpener, anything to make a sale, but to no avail. He was always busy, out of the office, or otherwise unavailable to me. I tried cold-calling him, but I couldn’t get past his receptionist.
One day, as I was preparing to make yet another sales call at Golden Grain, I told my friend Ralph about the difficulty I was having. Ralph was a salesman too. He specialized in copiers. He was the guy you called in to make the really tough sales. I told him I could use some help with Golden Grain.
“Hey, remember the day we switched coats and had everybody in the office in stitches? Why don’t we try that as an icebreaker with the receptionist?” he suggested.
Ralph and I were not exactly identical twins. Along with an obvious difference in skin tone, there was about a twelve-inch height differential. We were both wearing the standard IBM blue sport coats one day. He accidentally picked mine up off the back of a chair and put it on. The sleeves draped down past his knees. Just for laughs, I put his jacket on too. It fit like a glove. Literally, like a glove.
The people in our office had a good laugh, and Ralph thought it might loosen up the guardians of the gate at Golden Grain. I certainly did not have a better idea, so Ralph came along on my cold call. It turned out to be something of a wet call too. It was a hard rain even for Seattle, which is one of the soggiest cities in North America. To try to surprise the receptionist, Ralph and I swapped coats in the car. The mismatched twins walked into the office under a dripping umbrella. Ralph’s arms were invisible. I looked like a badly dressed goalpost.
The receptionist didn’t look up as we walked in—she was on the phone with someone. But she must have recognized my voice when I asked to see the vice president of operations. She looked up and seemed prepared to blow me off with another excuse.
When her eyes fell on Ralph and me, she exploded into laughter. I thought the woman was going to need oxygen. After she finally caught her breath, she told the person on the phone that they’d better come see this. Then she changed her mind. “No, you guys walk on through the door and go through the main office all the way to the boss’s office in the far corner. I want everyone to see this!”
For more than a year, I’d been the polite, well-mannered, nicely dressed IBM salesman who could not get past the receptionist at Golden Grain. As we went through the door into previously forbidden territory, I heard the secretary speed-dialing all of the Golden Grain managers, telling them to make sure and catch what was coming their way.
Ralph and I played it straight. We acted as though we could not imagine what they found so humorous. We didn’t smile until we walked into the office of the vice president and he greeted us with a grin. “If you have the guts to walk in here dressed like that, the least I can do is listen to your pitch,” he said.
Our act of humor enabled us to establish a key relationship with the company, which I believe IBM is still benefiting from today.
There are also health benefits to lightening up. When you’re able to laugh at life, your body muscles expand and contract, your blood circulation increases, and your digestive system improves. The body produces endorphins, which facilitate the healing process. I recently read that fifteen minutes a day of deep gut laughter is equivalent to five minutes of moderate jogging. Learn to lighten up. It’s an important step to staying motivated.
Attitude Tool 10
Exercising Will Help Keep You Motivated
Psychologist and researcher Diane Tice found that people use a wide variety of distractions to motivate themselves in trying to escape negative moods and the bad attitudes that accompany them. They read, watch TV, go to movies, or play video games to break their thought patterns. The problem is that unless you find a distraction that offers something uplifting, funny, or inspiring, your mood could get worse.
Tice found that one of the best ways to move to a more positive and motivated frame of mind was to exercise. A regular exercise routine can provide relatively quick positive feedback in the form of weight loss, muscle development, and a sense of doing something positive for yourself. Physical exertion moves us from a low-arousal state to a state of high arousal, according to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence.
Of course, it’s not always possible to drop everything and run to the gym or track when you find yourself a little down, but there are some simple, quick exercises you can do while standing in line or sitting at your desk. I suggest taking a sixty-second mental vacation. Close your eyes, look up, put a big smile on your face, and begin to think about someone you love or something you love to do. Hold that thought, capture the moment, and begin to feel the peace, the joy, and the power of that experience.
Now you are equipped to seek your personal and professional success by using the tools in your Attitude Tool Kit and by practicing these daily guidelines.
Attitude Tune-Up
Don’t forget, the best coach with the strongest power over your performance is the coach that lives within you.