Superstitious folks knew better than to let their guard down. Smooth sailing was a temporary state, and a storm was always brewing over the horizon. I didn’t have to see trouble to know it would come for me eventually. But I wasn’t a complete moron. I’d learned to count my blessings and enjoy the hell out of the good times before it all went to shit again.
And I had to admit…life wasn’t terrible at the moment.
I glanced over at the sleeping man beside me, loving the contrast of his raven hair on the white pillowcase. His lips were stained red and his eyelids were smudged with black pencil. I was sharing a bed with a goth male version of Snow White—and I couldn’t believe my luck.
The past few weeks had been a whirlwind. I’d spent my days schmoozing investors with fiscally attractive spreadsheets or poring over plans with city officials, and my free nights with Johnny, fucking like rabbits. We were very casual about our time together. We weren’t dating. This wasn’t a romance. If anyone was curious about our unlikely friendship, they’d probably buy our story that we were just neighbors who’d bonded over mutual friends. Oh yeah, and guitar lessons for Parker.
But the truth was, our mutual friends didn’t know about us, and guitar lessons weren’t a regular occurrence. Johnny’s schedule hadn’t meshed with Parker’s recently, so they’d only met twice since their lesson at the studio. Both times were at my house and on both occasions, I couldn’t believe how hard it was not to touch him. I supposed it made sense. There was no pretense between us when we were alone. I didn’t ask him to come over for dinner or swing by his place for a beer. Food and alcohol were the last things on either of our minds. We were more concerned with getting skin to skin as fast as humanly possible.
Tonight was a perfect example. He bent to greet Lullah with scratches and sweet nothings of the “You’re such a good girl” variety, then looked up at me with that sweet, devilish smile that made my heart flip in my chest. The second I closed the door, he shot to his feet and sealed his mouth over mine. We came together like magnets, twisting our tongues as we swayed and grinded feverishly.
We hurried up the stairs, tugging at shirts and belts on our way to the master suite. Clothes and shoes flew when we stepped into my room. We tumbled naked onto the bed, kissing, licking, and sucking in a manic fusion.
Somewhere in between, he swallowed my cock and brought me a little too close to the edge before I’d rolled on a condom and fucked him into the mattress. Then he was on top of me, hands around my throat, riding me like a bull at a rodeo. He had a dirty mouth, and he wasn’t shy about asking for what he wanted—a finger in his hole, a smack on the ass…but he waited for me to tell him when he could come. I didn’t know if we were playing a game, but I was too turned-on to care either way. I’d do pretty much anything he wanted to see that blissed-out look on his handsome face.
I drifted off for a few minutes with my arm slung around his slim waist and woke up blinking in the dimly lit room, pleased to find him sleeping soundly beside me. I didn’t get many opportunities to study him like this. Johnny was constantly in motion and when he was still, he wore armor to protect him. The makeup, dark clothes, and guitar were his shield designed to keep a wide variety of people away.
I was shocked I’d made it this close. Superficially speaking, I wasn’t in his sphere. But I had a feeling he liked the fact that I wasn’t really available. He didn’t want a real relationship. Boyfriends tended to want time and attention, and he wasn’t in a good place to give either of those things freely. He wanted sex, though, and with me, he could have his freedom and get laid often.
So maybe our low expectations and inability to commit was the bond that ultimately drew us together. We could relax, knowing neither one of us would be forced to let the other down easy with a gentle reminder that his career or my family life wouldn’t allow us to be more than lovers. That might sound grim, but damn, it was freeing in a way that maybe only Johnny could understand.
I gave in to temptation and pushed a strand of hair from his forehead when his eyes fluttered open. “Hey.”
Johnny moaned softly. “Were you watching me sleep? ’Cause that’s not creepy at all.”
I smirked. “I’m not going to apologize. You’re pretty when you sleep.”
“Pretty?” he snorted, rubbing his eyes before rolling toward me.
“Yep. It might be the lipstick.”
“I probably got some on your dick.”
“Charming,” I huffed, setting my hand on his hip.
He snickered softly. “What time is it?”
“Ten o’clock. It was a long day. We should clean up and go back to sleep.”
“I’m not tired now. Talk to me. How was your day, dear?”
“Excellent. After weeks of wrangling, we finally agreed on terms with the McMillan Group. They’re the sparkling water guys who want you on their bottle.”
“I remember.”
“How’s that going?” I prodded, caressing his ass.
Johnny shrugged. “No idea. That’s Charlie’s domain. I just show up wherever he directs us. I do know that they asked for four front-row tickets for our shows in LA, New York, and DC. Greedy bastards.”
“How does that work? They’re paying you to represent their water. You don’t owe them anything.”
“It’s a courtesy thing. You know, people do that kind of shit to be nice.”
I furrowed my brow comically. “Nice? What’s that?”
“Oh, please. You’re not the big, bad asshole you let everyone think you are. I’ve seen you be…nice.” He snickered appreciatively when I rolled my eyes. “Bartering for tickets must be a thing. Clay asked for a few too. Then again, he’s the type who’ll ask for forgiveness instead of permission every time.”
“True.”
“Justin was ready to punch him when he showed up yesterday, out of the blue, to take photos at the studio. We signed on to do the photo shoot, but we made it clear that Zero isn’t bending over backward to accommodate him. He has to work around us. We don’t have a choice with the water. We’re doing that photo shoot next week…or the week after.” He tapped his chin as if to jog his memory. “I’ll probably forget on purpose. And if they want me to actually drink it, they’ll have to send it to me. I’ll never buy it.”
“I will. I’ll buy a case.”
“Aw, that’s sweet.” He leaned in to nip my bottom lip. “See? You are nice.”
“No, I’m not. Ask anyone.”
“I don’t have to. I’ve seen you in action. When Parker and I finished his lesson the other day, I spotted Penny and Lullah chasing after you in the backyard. You let her tackle you and wrap a boa around your neck. It was sweet.”
I snorted. “Nah, that’s not sweet. It’s just a dad thing.”
“Then you’re a great dad.”
His matter-of-fact tone didn’t invite room for discussion, but I felt the need to set him straight. I wasn’t worthy of the compliment.
“I heard a saying once that you’re only as happy as your least happy kid. I think that’s true. And it’s probably also true that if you’re part of the reason that kid isn’t happy, you might be a crappy parent.”
Johnny glared at me. “If you’re talking about yourself…that’s fucking stupid. Your kids are happy and very well adjusted. You’re projecting guilt for no good reason. It’s like you want to beat yourself up. Is that some religious remnant from your youth? You’re divorced and gay so you must be a monster? Fuckin’ bullshit.”
I gaped in surprise. “Um…thanks?”
“You’re welcome. Quit fishing for compliments,” he chided.
“I wasn’t. We should drop this, but—” I released a long rush of air and stared at the striped chair in the corner of the room before meeting his gaze. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Does Parker still stutter when he’s with you?”
“No,” he replied quickly. “Almost never. But we talk about things he’s interested in. Once he gets going, he can’t get the words out fast enough.”
“Like what?” I whispered, holding my breath.
“Legos, space, season two of Discovery…that kind of stuff.” Johnny set his hand on my chin. “Does he stutter with you?”
I swallowed around a lump in my throat. “Sometimes. And I don’t know why. He also doesn’t talk to me much either.”
Our drive this morning was an example. I’d dropped my loquacious daughter off first and had spent the fifteen-minute drive to Parker’s school engaged in a one-way conversation.
“How are your guitar lessons going?” I’d asked.
“Fine.”
“Did you learn a song?”
“A couple.”
I’d waited for details, but they didn’t come. So I’d tried again. “Do any of your friends play bass or drums? You could start a band at junior high.”
“I d-don’t t-think so.” He crossed his arms and stared out the window.
Maybe I should have kept asking questions, but it felt like that wasn’t what he wanted. So I let it go. Probably another mistake.
I gave Johnny a brief rundown, hoping he might have some insight I was obviously lacking.
Johnny propped his head on his hand and gave me a serious look. “Let me just start by saying, I don’t know shit about parenting, but if I had to guess…he doesn’t know how to connect with you either, and it makes him nervous. He’s a perfectionist like you. No joke. The kid hates to get a chord wrong. It’s laborious. I respect that level of effort, but I have to tell him over and over to let it fly.”
“And does he?”
“No, he gets uptight and nervous, and I spend five or ten minutes talking about Star Wars to get him back in the game.”
“Oh.”
“Look, don’t get mad, but if you really want to know what I think, the problem is…you think it’s about you.”
I frowned. “That’s not true.”
“Yeah, it is. You’re saying, ‘What am I doing incorrectly?’ and ‘Why can’t I get through to him?’ when the real question should be, ‘How are you?’ ”
“I ask that daily!” I insisted irritably.
Johnny shrugged. “You ask it wrong.”
“Grr.”
“I’m kidding…sort of. Hey, he’s just a kid trying to figure his own shit out. This is just a thought, so take it at face value, but Parker might benefit from seeing that you’re not perfect.”
“I never said I was perfect.”
“No, but like I’ve told you before…you put on a good superhero act. Teenagers have to deal with a fuckton of sensory overload, and hormones don’t help. He doesn’t think the way you do. I bet you anything that he thinks you’re perfect and that you expect the same of him.”
I was truly taken aback. “That’s not true at all.”
“Like I said, it’s just an observation. I could be wrong. You look like the kind of guy who’d slay dragons and scare away monsters. If I were into sports…and I’m not, I’d want you on my team.”
“Thanks. I think.” I traced the ink on his hip bone with my forefinger, then asked in a small voice, “What do you suggest?”
“Suggest? I told you, I don’t know about parent stuff,” he argued.
“You know about people. You connect with him. How?” My tone sounded desperate to my own ears. “I do all the things you do. I talk to him. I ask him about his day and what he’s into and—”
“Yeah, but he thinks he has to tell you what you want to hear. He doesn’t have to please me or be afraid of failure. As far as guitar is concerned, he’s sure he’ll fail, so the bar is low. I’m easy. You’re not.”
“Geez,” I sighed, swiping my hand over my beard.
“Hey, don’t be hard on yourself. It probably comes with the territory.”
“I don’t know about that. Penny doesn’t seem to have any issues.”
“Penny’s nine. Her time will come,” he said sagely. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a downer. You shouldn’t listen to me anyway. I told you I don’t know about family things. I don’t have one.”
“At all? What about aunts, uncles, cousins…”
“Nope. My mom’s brother used to come around when I was little to check on her. They didn’t get along and after a while, he stopped trying.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Doesn’t matter anymore. I lived vicariously through TV sitcom families, so in some ways, I’m an expert.”
I smiled. “You’re smarter than you credit yourself, Johnny. What would you do if you were me? I’m open to suggestions.”
He bit his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Okay…do something as a family that you might suck at. Put yourself on even ground…if just for a minute. What are you bad at?”
“Nothing,” I quipped.
Johnny chuckled softly. “Basketball?”
“I won state in high school.”
“Rock climbing?”
“There’s indoor climbing at my gym.”
“Hiking?”
“Love it,” I replied.
“God, you’re a monster. How about board games?”
“Uh…”
He whooped and sat up. “Boom, there it is!”
I set my jaw stubbornly. “I’m not playing a board game.”
“Oh, come on,” he cajoled. “Which one do you hate the most? Monopoly, Clue, Life, Risk?”
“They’re all terrible.”
He eyed me shrewdly. “It’s Monopoly, huh? You get sent to jail on the regular, you never win the pot, and you can’t afford your rent on Boardwalk. Gotta be tough on a real estate dude.”
“It’s hell,” I confirmed.
“Then that’s the game for you!”
“Well, thankfully I don’t own it.”
“I’ll buy it for you. We’ll call it an early Christmas present.”
I rolled on top of him and ruffled his hair before giving him a noogie. “Fine, but you have to play with us.”
“Nah, that should be a family thing.”
“Chicken,” I taunted. “You hate it too, don’t you?”
“No, I wouldn’t want to make you look bad in front of your kids when I kick your ass.”
“That wouldn’t happen.”
“Right, ’cause it’s a family thing…I’m not playing,” he insisted stubbornly.
“It’s a four-person game. We need you.”
“Three people can play, and what happened to your rule about keeping your private life separate? I don’t like breaking rules,” Johnny singsonged.
I laughed. “Bullshit. The kids would love it and…so would I.”
He smiled but didn’t reply right away.
“What about Fiona?”
I furrowed my brow. “What about her?”
“Oh, come on. All your secrecy must mean they’re her rules too. For the kids’ sake.”
“They’re mainly my rules,” I admitted.
“Well, according to your lame-ass rules, I’m not supposed to be here at your house when they are.”
“But you teach Parker guitar and he considers you a friend, so I think that rule can be bent. Besides, they don’t know about us.”
“True, but Penny saw me kiss you. Just because they didn’t tell on us doesn’t mean they forgot,” he huffed.
“It was a while ago. Not a big deal.” I caressed his chin, then lay back on my pillow with my hands tucked under my head. “But hey…it’s not like I want to play Monopoly, so it’s kind of a moot point.”
“You’re afraid I’m gonna win.”
“Not true. And it’s not exactly a game of skill,” I replied haughtily.
He snorted in amusement. “That’s what you’ll tell yourself, but we’ll see how it goes. Losing is tough.”
“I’m not going to lose.”
“So you say,” Johnny taunted. “Let’s make a bet. Winner gets to make one demand of the loser. It can be simple…like eat a whole jalapeño or a blowjob on demand. You can handle either of those.”
“I’m not going to lose,” I repeated.
Johnny jumped on top of me, straddling my waist before tickling my sides. “I’m so gonna kick your ass.”
I easily switched positions, caught both of his wrists in one hand, and proceeded to tickle him until he almost kneed me in the nuts. I retaliated by flattening myself over him. Bad call. Johnny lifted his hips to meet mine, rubbing his semi against my pelvis seductively. I might have been on top, but he was the one in control. And for once, I didn’t mind.
If I were being perfectly honest, it wasn’t just the sex. I appreciated talking to someone about things and people that really mattered to me. Maybe this was stolen time and maybe it wouldn’t last, but damn, it felt pretty damn nice not to feel so alone.
Johnny
Monopoly. Hmm.
Damn, I had a big fucking mouth sometimes. The last time I’d played, I was Penny’s age. I was invited to stay for dinner at a friend’s house on a Friday, which turned out to be their weekly family game night. And that week it was Monopoly. They couldn’t believe I’d never played. They went out of their way to include me and patiently explained the rules. I don’t think I won, but I had fun. In retrospect, I think they enjoyed teaching a newbie and having fresh blood to spice up their routine. Me? I enjoyed the novelty of being part of a family unit…if only for a few hours. In fact, I’d liked it so much I told them they could invite me over whenever they needed another player.
The next week, we played Clue. The week after…Life. They talked about teaching us how to play Risk the following Friday, but my invite never came.
I didn’t hold it against my friend. Honestly, I’d expected it. He’d begun to distance himself from me, which probably had something to do with my mom picking me up from school drunk off her ass and wearing a bikini. No doubt his parents had heard the story and told him to steer clear of little Johnny in case her brand of self-destruction was contagious.
So there you have it. I really didn’t know shit about Monopoly. I knew less about hanging out with families and kids.
The only other kid I spent any time with was Charlie’s little brother, Oliver, who used to come by Gray and Justin’s house to hang out with the band after school before we opened Scratch Records. We called him our band mascot and took turns teaching him chords or showing off our skateboarding or diving skills on our breaks. I liked kids, though. They were easier than adults by far.
So why was I nervous to spend a couple of hours with Parker and Penny?
Oh yeah, I had a crush on their dad.
“Oh, my gosh, you’re here! I’m so excited!” Penny pulled me by the wrist into the foyer. “Dad made tacos. Hurry. Are you hungry? I’m hungry. He made rice and beans too, but they’re a little spicy. Do you like spicy food?”
Sean smiled warmly in greeting, casting an amused glance between his daughter and me before closing the door and following us into the great room. Parker looked up from his perch at the island. I thought I saw a glimmer of childlike joy, but he quickly tamped it down and gave me a noncommittal half smile instead. I held up my hand for a high five, sliding into the stool next to his.
“How’s it goin’, Parker?” I asked after I assured Penny that I was excited, hungry, and loved spicy food.
“G-good. D-did you bring your guitar?”
“Yeah, I left it by the front door.” I grabbed a tortilla chip from the bowl on the island, then cast my gaze toward Sean and Penny busily cutting limes and avocado. I lowered my voice for his ears only. “Hey, just so you know, Monopoly was my idea.”
And that part was true. We needed a ruse for this night to make sense, so I suggested a mini concert. Parker could show his dad what he’d learned and to make it worth my while, Sean would invite me over for dinner. I didn’t know how Monopoly made sense, and I had a feeling Parker wondered the same thing.
“Why do you want to play so bad?” he asked, cocking his head curiously.
“I don’t, but I didn’t want to put you on the spot with the concert thing. It’s less pressure when you know you’re not the only form of entertainment.”
Parker gave a bored shrug. “It’s not really a c-concert.”
“Call it whatever you want. It’s a dinner with friends too.”
“You mean with m-my dad?”
“No, dufus. I mean you.” I shoved his arm playfully and gave myself a mental fist bump when his reluctant smile turned into a real one. “Did you practice?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Well, try not to suck,” I teased. “I’ve got a reputation to think about.”
Parker chuckled at my over-the-top brow waggle, then seemed to visibly relax. I didn’t know if my good-natured teasing put him at ease or if he noticed that I was a bit nervous too. Misery loves company, right?
This was a new one for me. I wondered how many kids realized how fucked up adults were. I had seventeen years on this kid, but I still had plenty of awkward moments, and I occasionally wrestled with feeling like I didn’t belong, didn’t fit in, or doubted my worth.
And so did Sean.
I felt his anxiety keenly. His broad shoulders were tight with tension and his smile was a bit strained during dinner, which was odd because it was a pretty casual affair. We piled tacos, beans, rice, and salad on our plates and ate around the island while Lullah begged for scraps at our feet. I noticed that Penny and I were responsible for the bulk of conversation. She talked about a spring play at school, her friend Mandy’s bunny, Benedict, and a dance recital she was either going to attend or was going to be in.…I couldn’t be sure. I talked about tacos, how much I hated grocery shopping, and I mentioned that one of my neighbors really, really loved opera.
Sean’s eyes twinkled. “And you don’t?”
“Fu—farts no,” I huffed.
Parker snickered at my near faux pas. “Why not?”
“It’s just not my thing. I love all kinds of music, but—”
“What’s your favorite kind of music?” Sean interrupted.
“R and B.”
“Favorite band?”
“Metallica,” I replied quickly.
“That’s not rhythm and blues.”
“I know, but I don’t just like one thing. I love soulful music, and I love music you can get lost in. Depends on my mood.” I did my best to keep my smile under control. It wasn’t easy. Sean had a way of making a simple inquiry seem important, as though my musical preferences were super interesting somehow. I glanced away briefly, then asked, “Who’s your favorite band?”
“Zero.”
Okay, I gave up. My megawatt grin hurt my face, and I probably looked like a lovesick idiot. I didn’t think the kids noticed. Penny was busy setting up the board game. When she yelled at Parker to help her, he yelled back, Lullah barked, and chaos reigned. I took advantage of the bedlam and leaned closer to Sean, who stood a few feet away, darting his gaze between his kids and the dog before landing on me again, nearly blinding me with his beautiful smile.
“Favorite song?” I whispered softly.
“ ‘This is Love.’ ”
“Sap! That’s a love song.”
“I know. It’s beautiful. I like all kinds of music too, but I have a thing for love songs,” he admitted sheepishly.
I opened my mouth and closed it like a goldfish. “I’m gobsmacked.”
Sean chuckled. “Why? It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It’s just so…geeky.”
“Really?”
“Well, no…yes. Yes. It’s kind of dorky. In a good way. Maybe.” I made a funny face, then shook my head. “There’s a scale of dork-itude. Let’s see where you land. Hit me. What’s your favorite love song? Warning…if you say ‘Endless Love,’ I may barf.”
“Nice tune, but not my favorite.” He sidled closer, glancing over my shoulder toward the kids. “I’ll give you another guess.”
“Dude, I’m coming up empty. Love songs aren’t my thing and—”
“ ‘The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.’ ”
“Oh. That’s a good one,” I replied softly.
“Yeah. I like it.”
Was it me or was he closer now? Was he breathing my air and pulling oxygen from the room? I sucked in a breath and let out a ragged one in its place. I licked my lips, watching his gaze follow my tongue. And damn it, I couldn’t look away from him. I wished I could touch him. Just a little.
I dropped my hand to my side and oh, so slyly brushed my pinkie against his. Everything in me lit up. My heart sped a million miles an hour, my palms were clammy, and his eyes…God, they were beautiful.
“What color are they?” I whispered.
“What?”
“Your eyes. They’re light. Are they blue or green?”
He laced his finger around mine and squeezed gently. “Blue.”
“Dad! Johnny! Let’s play,” Penny called.
I jolted with a start and hooked my thumb toward the other side of the room. “We should…”
He smiled sweetly. “Yes.”
We headed for the round table in the breakfast nook, next to a generous window overlooking the yard. It was dark outside, but the lights along the hedge-lined path around the pool cast a pretty glow across the water. I obediently sat where Penny directed and stared blankly at the board as I wiped my clammy palms on my jeans.
“What do you want to be, Johnny? I’m the cat, Parker is the dog, and Dad is the car. But you’re our guest, so if you want to be one of those, we can fix it for you,” Penny said, sounding extremely mature.
“That’s okay. Um, I’ll be the hat.”
“Yeah! Good choice. Roll the dice,” she instructed.
And we were off.
An hour and a half later, I had two hundred bucks to my name, and I was the proud owner of three crappy properties with no hotels.
Whose idea was this?
Oh, yeah. Mine.
As bad as my Monopoly prospects looked, Sean’s were worse. He had better properties than me, but no hotels. Just two measly houses and fifty bucks. Since the goal of the game was to amass as many real estate holdings and as much money as possible, he was in trouble.
I pointed at his bleak bank account and pulled a “yikes” face when he drew a card that sent him to jail. Again.
“Tough luck, man,” I commented ruefully.
“It’s okay, Daddy. You might win next game.” Penny beamed.
The kid was sitting pretty with a stack of five-hundreds and was in the midst of taking over a couple of Parker’s holdings. He didn’t seem as bummed about his eminent doom as his dad, though. I had a notion that he was slightly entranced at the idea of his father not being good at something. It looked like my evil plan was working. Until…
“Next game?” Sean croaked, folding his arms over his chest as he slouched in his chair.
“Yes. We don’t have school tomorrow, so we can stay up. I’m not even tired,” Penny assured him.
Poor Sean. I patted his knee under the table sympathetically. “How about a different game?”
“How about a movie?” Sean suggested.
“Okay, but I get to choose since I won.” Penny neatly gathered her properties and money and reached for Parker’s.
He shielded his side of the board and shook his head. “You didn’t win. The game isn’t over.”
It wasn’t? I widened my eyes in disbelief. “Parker, it’s not looking good for the rest of us. She won.”
“Technically, she’s ahead now, but that could change. And I’m not watching another ice princess movie,” he declared heatedly.
What ensued was a small lesson on why I’d probably never be a parent. The siblings bickered about winning, losing, who always went first, who was a bigger jerk…you get the picture. Sean placated, then got frustrated when the argument escalated, and Penny burst into tears. He glanced my way with a heavy sigh, looking so damn defeated, apologetic, and miserable. And just like that…a lightbulb went on.
Sean wasn’t embarrassed or upset that his squabbling kids were giving an outsider a front-row seat to their dysfunction. No, he was overwhelmed. He was a problem-solver who’d lapsed into the role of pleaser to keep his family happy. When it came to business, he played to win, but here…he was terrified to lose. He’d admitted it to me once. It wasn’t that I’d doubted him; however, witnessing his distress over what ultimately was no big freaking deal was enlightening.
In spite of my lack of experience, the solution seemed obvious. If he wasn’t going to step up, I would.
“Cool it,” I barked, softening my sharp tone with a smile. “When you fight, you forfeit. I think those are sports rules, but don’t quote me. The logical choice is for me to decide what we play or watch next.”
“Why you?” Penny wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and glared at her brother.
“I’m the guest.”
“But I won.”
“Congratulations. It was—”
“You always win, and you always get your way. I’m not playing. This is stupid.” Parker tossed his game piece on the board and stormed out of the room.
Penny burst into a new round of hysterics and Lullah joined in, whining, then howling in sympathy.
Sean cast an impotent look their way before meeting my gaze. “Welcome to my real life.”
Oh.
So, it turns out that real life isn’t easy, and problems don’t get solved sitcom-style with a word of wisdom from a well-meaning outsider. People get mad, hurt, and frustrated, then retreat to their corners and try again later…or the next day.
I didn’t know if there was a process to handling family drama or if there were any rules of procedure. I’d petted Lullah while Sean calmed Penny down with a coloring book and attempted to talk to Parker. That was when I left. Since I was basically the guy who’d stoked the fire, my instincts were to lay low with my fingers crossed, hoping I hadn’t done any irreparable damage.
My cat wound herself between my legs in greeting when I got home then disappeared, leaving me alone in my near-empty house feeling lonelier than I had in a long time.
I texted him before I went to bed. Just a simple, Is everything okay?
He replied ten minutes later, Yes. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
I stared at the message, raking my teeth over my bottom lip till it actually hurt. I typed and deleted another note, rewording it a second and third time. Eventually, I gave up and pressed Call.
Sean answered on the first ring. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing. I’m really sorry about tonight. I shouldn’t have interfered. I don’t know what I was thinking. How can I fix it?” I blabbered.
“Fix what?”
“Your house! I started a fire, then ran out of the burning building and left you to deal with everything. I feel terrible.”
Silence filled the line. My stomach sank with dread as I pulled the duvet over me. I opened my mouth to say fuck knows what when Sean chuckled.
“You have a flair for drama. Good to know,” he teased, adding, “There’s no reason for you to feel bad, baby. None at all. I’m the one who should apologize. We weren’t on our best behavior tonight. We’ll do better next time. I promise.”
“Fuck best behavior. I hate when people pretend everything is cool when it sucks,” I groused unhappily.
“Johnny, siblings fight. It’s what they do. Nothing crazy there. It would have been nice if they’d spared you the theatrics, though. The fact that they didn’t means they’re very comfortable around you. It’s not an excuse. They’ll apologize when—”
“I do not want an apology. I’m serious. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay and that I didn’t blow it. So, are you okay?”
“You’re calling to check on me?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah. I guess I am.”
“Thank you,” he replied, sounding genuinely touched. “I’m fine. Penny’s fine too. Parker is embarrassed and…bummed. There was a party tonight at a former friend’s house and he wasn’t included. His mom told me about it when she dropped them off. When I asked, he said he didn’t care. I think he was happy you were coming over and, well…we’ll try again tomorrow.”
“You know, I never got invited to anything when I was his age either,” I said after a moment.
“Really?”
“Never. Or rarely.” I shared my story about game night at my friend’s house when I was a kid. “I survived and he will too. But don’t worry. Lesson learned. I’ll stay out of your family business and—”
“Don’t be silly. It was fun. We can try something else next time.”
“Like what?” I asked cautiously.
“I don’t know…roller skating, ice skating, arcade? I suck at all those things too. I can’t balance on wheels for some reason, and I’ve never been able to win my date a prize shooting in a barrel,” he admitted with a half laugh.
“Ha! So, you really aren’t perfect?”
“I suppose not. Listen, if we didn’t scare you away, I’d be thrilled if you spent more time with us…the three of us. Fiona will be fine with it too. I told her you’d be over tonight. I gave her the concert explanation and she approved. I think she was happy Parker was happy in spite of the party thing. You’re a good influence on him and—”
“Dude. Listen to yourself. I’m a terrible influence,” I protested. “Did you really tell her I’d be there? I thought we were keeping it quiet.”
“We’re keeping us quiet,” he corrected gently. “I’m not lying. She knows you’ve been giving Parker lessons. She knows he likes you and…she probably hopes your cool factor rubs off on him a little. And you’re Ann’s famous client. Another plus.”
I pushed the duvet aside to make room for Tabby when she hopped on my bed. “So what’s next? Clue?”
Sean barked a laugh. “Sure. Geez, I haven’t played that one in decades. Miss Scarlet in the drawing room with a lead pipe?”
“That’s the one. I played with the band on the road last tour. We made up a dirty version. The names of the rooms stayed the same, but the characters and weapons changed. Mr. Cock in the conservatory with a dildo, Colonel Jizz in the kitchen with anal beads. You get the idea,” I said around a yawn.
“They’re supposed to be weapons. How are a dildo or anal beads going to kill anyone?” he scoffed playfully.
“You could choke on a dildo the way you do when you suck dick or—”
“I’ve never choked.”
“Bullshit. The best blowjob givers in the world became the best because they’ve choked,” I stated like I was reciting a well-known fact. “It shows enthusiasm and a real lust for your work…as it were.”
Sean snorted. “Oh, please. I haven’t heard any complaints. Or is this my first official complaint?”
“No, but I’ll have to put a little extra hip work in next time.”
He snickered lightly. “You do that. I’ll be ready for you.”
We let a sweet silence grow in the connection. It was easy and unhurried. I could have listened to the sound of him breathing for a while without feeling the need to fill the quiet with words.
I think that was when I realized we’d become real friends.