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“Why would you talk about marriage with Lord Rosenkranz?” Anna said angrily. Now that they were alone in the dining hall, she had no problem telling Aunt Mathilda how she really felt about it.
“The topic just came up naturally and I thought that it would be a good idea to encourage him. He seems like the kind of man, that needs a little encouraging. Maybe you should try doing that yourself as well,” her aunt said.
“I’m not going to marry Lord Rosenkranz,” Anna said and looked at her scraped palms. Joana had bathed them and put a lotion of honey and herbs on them to help them heal.
“Why not? He would be ideal. He has land next to yours and the combination of your estates would make the two of you the greatest landowners in the country besides the king. You would be immensely influential.”
“I already am immensely influential,” Anna said and got up from the chair to walk around the room. Her anger was so great that she could not sit still. The anger also made her forget the pain in her knees.
“Sit back down, young lady, it’s not appropriate for a lady to walk around the room like that,” her aunt scolded, and Anna remembered the many times she had been corrected when she had lived with her.
Anna turned around and looked at her with a gaze, that should have been able to burn a hole in her aunt’s skull, had there been any justice in this world.
“I’m not a young lady, that you can correct any more. I’m Lady Harold, one of the most influential women in the country. You might be my aunt, but you’ll address me with the proper respect,” she said through gritted teeth.
She could see that her aunt swallowed hard and had to take several moments to compose herself.
“I only want to do what’s best for you, my dear,” she said in a strained not quite polite voice. “Marrying Wulfric Rosenkranz would be the ideal match for you. You should take the opportunity of him escorting you to secure him.”
Anna shook her head and walked over to look out the window. It was yet another sunny and bright day. The fields around the castle were green and lush. Everything seemed idyllic, at least outside this room.
“I’m not getting married,” Anna said and turned around to see the reaction that her words caused on her aunt’s face. To her surprise her aunt did not really react.
“Of course, you would say that now. You’ve just lost your father, it’s only natural that you would think that. Give it a couple of months then. You’ll need an heir for the estate as well...”
“I don’t care about an heir,” Anna said and turned towards the window again. “Since I can’t have Valdemar, I’m not going to marry anyone.”
She swallowed hardly at the thought of Valdemar. She could not begin to cry now.
“Don’t care about an heir? Have I ever heard something that ridiculous? Of course, you’d want an heir...”
“Stop telling me, how I should feel!” Anna shouted at her and turned around again. “When I say that I don’t want to marry, I don’t want to marry. And since I have no living male relatives it’s my own decision. I’ll manage the estate on my own and I’ll prove to you and everyone else that might doubt me, that I’m perfectly capable of it... despite being a woman.”
She stormed out of the room. She hurried down the corridors that she knew so well and out the door to a small courtyard garden within the castle walls. When she was outside, she stopped and took a deep breath. It felt like she was finally able to breathe properly again.
Her feet started walking almost on their own to her favorite spot in the garden, a bench between thorny rose bushes that made it almost impossible to be found. She sat down and sighed. She had sat there many times when she had lived there, taking a break from her aunt for a moment.
Even though she really liked her aunt, she also found her utterly annoying at times. Like when she wanted to interfere with who Anna should marry. Her aunt had never understood why Anna had not been betrothed to Jonathan. She had gone on and on about how marrying the king would be much better than marrying his younger brother and that Anna needed to aim higher.
Then Aunt Mathilda had gone on about the fact that Anna and Valdemar’s engagement was so long.
“You’ll need to secure him, my girl,” she would say to Anna. Anna kept telling her that it was as much her own wish as it was Valdemar’s that they waited. Anna wanted to enjoy the life at court as an unmarried woman for a little while longer.
She had thought that when they married, she would conceive a child quickly and then she would want to devote herself to her husband and children. She had looked forward to it but had wanted a bit more time to enjoy herself. Now it seemed ridiculous that she had wanted a few more years of parties, dancing and having her hair lose, when she could have had Valdemar and they might have had a child, had they married earlier.
Anna sighed. She could not change the past. No matter how much she wanted to.
And now Aunt Mathilda would go on about her marrying Lord Rosenkranz. From the perspective of accumulating wealth and power for the family, Anna could definitely see that a union between them would be ideal.
But since she had been in love once, she knew that she could not settle for someone, simply because it was a clever choice. She liked Lord Rosenkranz better and better the more she got to know him, but it was not enough for her to marry him. She had wondered yesterday what it would be like to kiss him, but it was not enough for an engagement, and she would not be coerced into one.
Anna took a deep breath again. This time of year, the smell of the roses was almost intoxicating, so deep and rich. She was glad that they had gone to her aunt’s estate, even if it was only for this moment. She remembered how she had been sitting with Valdemar on this bench once when they were here. He had lifted her skirt and pleasured her with his hands right there on the bench. She blushed at the memory.
She should have married him earlier. Only months after they had become engaged. Then they would probably have had a couple of children by now and she would not be all on her own.
Anna could hear someone walk by on the path besides the rose bushes. She tried to make herself as small as possible to not be detected. She wanted to be alone right now and cool down at bit more. She saw Lord Rosenkranz walk past her, but he did not seem to notice her.
Anna wondered whether it was him that had brought the question of marriage up with her aunt. He seemed coolheaded enough to realize the benefits for him in marrying her – and she was still rather certain that he both desired and had a crush on her, despite the fact that he did not even know her.